AL

I was told love is a euphoric feeling

it pains yet it's worth the shot.

I was told a kiss is a magical sentiment

It takes you to wonderland.

I was told hug is an abode

It engulfs you with the spring bliss.

I was told sweet devilish lies

Because he told me otherwise

He told me love is a dead shot

He told me a kiss is a bitter blood

He told me a hug is thorny shield

He made sure to burn the page

He made sure to dig the hole

He made sure to break the heart

Love has always meant a deadly shot

Kiss has always meant a lost lust

Hug has always meant a certain gut

My pages are embellished by the void

My veins are adorned by the disgust

My heart is ornamented by the guilt

the old days held my present nightmares

the old habits held my current internal fiasco

my said soul summons a raging storm

I can't seem to tame down

My salty tears hummus a handcuffed tsunami

I am too exhausted to hold back

Thus the day I met you was only

the beginning of endless pain.

And the day I let you, 

On my home dragging my feet struggling to steady my steps to keep walking as I had days to live. Finally reaching the gate. But once I saw him there with his glorious aura flickering all over the area just like a new prince who got crowned. That when I froze. My body stopped functioning and my brain found it hard to cage down the new raging storm. He shouldn't be here. He shouldn't be there waiting for someone could barely count the hours were left for her to breathe. He shouldn't be close when I was away too far to exist. And the most painful line was the bitter fact of him dancing solo for a quite long time before he had to acknowledge how to rearrange his life with a missing piece of a sad puzzle. I was captivated by the breathtakingly sight of him under the sunbeam kissing his light brown silky skin. I was drowning endlessly into how mesmerizing he looked as the shimmer of the daylight reflected smoothly on his figure leaving me breathless seeking the slightest bit of his warmth. I was selfishly envying the harmless wind flirting shamelessly with his silky brown hair. I was staring fondly through his facades trying to reach that pure limitless love he had been holding towards a person had to leave sooner than a winter waving its last words for the spring. I was making love with him just by cherishing every tiny priceless detail of his majestic look. As I was filling the gaps in the upcoming goodbyes. Determined to engrave his precious features on every soon empty wall like a memorable Polaroids yet they wouldn't last as their owner. My heart was wrenching yet glimmering fireworks once our eyes met. They pull harder than a magnet. As expected those hazel ones held the beauty of the billion galaxies. As usual that soft smile captured the extraordinary magnificence of the moon and its eclipse collide. Unlikely my heart clenched agonizingly at the sight. The butterflies erupted inside my stomach mourning. The rainstorm of tears was brimming ready to flee free releasing the truth untold.

Regardless of my gaining back the ability to walk but somehow the way back to him summoned lifetime. The urge of gripping into something grew once his favorite perfume mixed with his masculine detergent scent hit my nostrils to embrace tightly my broken soul. The journey was hard in a way that I felt as I was escalating a burning yet freezing stairs. Every time my heartbeats sped up I knew the closer I reached out. However, there was no backing up now neither running away. Because fate had been already written which clarified we weren't part of a myth to twist the plots. We took a part in a drama wherein lives got twisted to fit the plots. Finally, I had climbed my destination. Again I had to confront the most beautiful human being throughout sweet lies. They might now sink in as lies but trust me, later on, they'll melt to turn into a sweat shield. since all I had wanted to be nothing but more than engulfing you beneath my arms till the day that comes when the sun and the moon kiss patiently yet tenderly exploding symphonies of sheen and shimmer. You might hate me, you might curse me every time you inhale and exhale, you might despise me whenever you recall how bitter tasted my goodbyes thereby the easier your hatred towards me grew, the faster you erase, the sooner you forget. I closed my eyes in the heat of the moment of the sudden urge to devour your love throughout one last kiss in which you didn't need to be aware that it was going to be the last time you'll able to swallow my desire, my admiration, my adoration, and my abode love. Likely your lips still tasted the same flavor that even a royal desert can't relate. Our lips connected like a shinning star alongside a night skyline. Our lips moved in sync like seagulls dancing harmoniously on the rhythm of the melody of the soft tides. I had to admit sooner or later you were my ultimate serenity even though I'll be gone before I let the truth slips out. Despite how madly I didn't want to break our euphoria but everything had a beginning and an ending. And I wish I was the author thus I could ink a different plot. But my ending stormed earlier than I had ever imagined which meant our scenes came to an end. I'm sorry I had to be the cause of your internal aches. I'm sorry I had to be the reason for your upcoming dark days and sleepless nights. I'm sorry I had to be the one that a sudden illness chose to eat and to rut her bones. Unfortunately, You could decipher it whenever I let out a lie that's why I'll keep it short to kill down the doubtful gaze you were throwing on me. I bite down the streaming waterfalls of tears were threatening to skip the cage I hid them the entire time. I met your magnetic gaze again daring to lie through my clenched teeth.

I lied" [ I held nothing but fake love adorned by sweet lies towards you. It's time for the mask to fall revealing the untold truth. We weren't meant to reach others. Besides, I really owe you a huge apology. Promise you someday when you decide to knock my doors the truth will a ring a bell ]".

Just like that, the disease snatched me away from you. I couldn't fight inside a ring where I knew I'll lose. Just like that you never forgave me for smiling widely the last time I saw you meanwhile I was suffering from an internal fiasco of an unbearable pain couldn't be compared to a hammer breaking every single one of my ribcage. You couldn't forgive me for dying lonely surrounded by a few blurry glimpses of you pinned inside my head, hugging the sweet shivers you had sent and tracing the void beside me.

A shot of pain was written by a bloody ink on burning pages of a rotten book wherein lines were shady and a little bit of invisible. That was the author's ending to my life.

you're the streaming waterfalls of my forest

you're the king of my kingdom

and you're the fairy of my tale

Garnished by the spring breeze

The sky is clear

Embellished by the sunbeam

The universe is perpetual

Do I have to deal with a world wherein you're only a memory .A memory inside an old frame hanging on an ebony wall which I hope it collapses .Maybe this unbearable pain will be a memory as well.Maybe I'll cry less and smile more .My soul cries waterfalls whenever your soothing voice wanders my dreams. My heart breaks against my ribcage into a sharpen thousand pieces whenever my mind recalls scenes were meant to die and rut till it vanishes as dust within the fierce wind of the storm .My life ain't the same and never will be since you've become a killing memory . Tastes bitter yet the sweetness couldn't be missed .Tastes like a hot coffee in the heat of the summer.And tastes a cold cocktail in a night of the dead winter . Tastes wine .Yet I can't get drank of you.Your memory tastes like a burning sun and a soft breeze of a spring day .It sounds unreal crazy and chaotic.Sadly I'm too far to distinguish the days ,the seasons and the weather.I'm too far to look at the sky without drowning into memories are the cause of my daily dose of fiasco and an Epileptic seizure. I'm too far to enjoy the blooming of roses and the cherry blossoms while my delicate red rose been lost inside a garden maze where it finds the spring unfamiliar yet grows under the fallen.No matter how much I try to chase your detergent scent sadly it fades away.As its running away from me.All I wanted is to feed my crave of all of you even the little mole under your noise.Please give me a chance to hold you one more time before our memories vanish within the clouds behind the unreachable stars.I'm too exhausted to hold into a memory instead of a soul meant the world to me.I'm begging you give this lost broken soul another blessing to make it right . If ain't a chance then make it a remedy .I can't pinpoint where have I done wrong to deserve a love . Which it didn't even last but its agony has to be immortal. Which its remedy is just a myth .Did I fall that deep for a persona I'm not even part of his real world any longer.Did I let myself to sink within an endless waves .The high tides crush my bones as they weight nothing.Suffocate my weak soul as its not worthy .Even the unstoppable streaming of my tears splashing the surface is rarely visible.Even the air is barely reaching my throat seeking my lungs yet I'm alive .Maybe it's a tragedy we've split in a way our horizons will never cross paths.As our souls will never find each others again . Even if they spent the eternity wandering the billion galaxies looking for their lost pieces.The stars won't move for us.The moon won't shine on us.And the Destiny won't light on us.We're doomed . As cold as it looks like your memory is where I engulf the warmth.As dark as it seems to be your memory sprinklers a magic light.The agony itself is a remedy.Maybe we're not soulmates.But we're definitely something bigger than the ordinary.Something the moon tells the stars when they spend the night as the universe guardians.Because when you've gone you took a piece of me.While you left me the memory.

When I'm brewing my coffee

When I'm drinking my coffee

Sometimes you feel as you're stuck inside a house of cards. Where you're fooled by how thin the cards are yet they could make you bleed to death. They would look harmless in the outside but deadly in the inside. Each card hides an epiphany. It could be the realization that makes you flatter like a butterfly. Or it could be the one that shatters the masks into half thus you realize you've been caught in a lie. Sweet lies were made of fake fondness and wrong kindness. Cards were already placed. Either way, they hold epiphanies as a curse or a blessing. Here comes your role. Suit yourself the magician gloves. Dig deeply through their facades. And turn the table against the players. None owns the game unless he hides the winning card beneath his sleeves. Waiting for the bright moment to shoot his next target.

Don't let diamonds tempt you. It is still expensive. And would drag people playing dirty for it. They would offer you a pretty rose . You wouldn't see its thorns because your eyes were already allured by its shimmer. Just like their attention. They might seem clear as crystal. However, they are dark as a cloudy sky. No matter how white the wall seems the more suspicions it fades the dark away. No matter how long the spring lasts, the winter will storm again.

It's your choice. Would you rather gain the time as your friend either as your enemy? In which it could mercilessly haunt you down. It's your game. Your life. Don't let them hurt you. Or break your walls. Defend your world and plant your own garden. Wherein roses are flawless, and their scent is enough to ease a hulk. Wherein you're safe and harmless. Your scars are being healed by the time through the soft pouring of the rain and the warmth of the sunshine. Because you only deserve these glimpses of the divine. Because the world is cruel yet it gifts opportunities. It sprinkles another chance to choose the rightful door walking into your own forest.

They might have hurt you. Caged you behind tons of judgments. Locked you inside a dozen wounds. Fortunately, they're breakable. Wipe away your precious tears. Clench your fists and make a hole where the light pours in. Sneaks in swallowing every droplet of pain. Let the rainbows paint your walls creating your own galaxies.

Life has other colors rather than black and white. You just have to know where to look at.

Life has four seasons rather than one winter. You just have to learn how to enjoy them.

Life has moody weather. You just need to earn how to deal with it.

Life has many surprises. You should just get to know how to dig deeper.