being the eldest daughter is being a control freak and feeling responsible for everything and everyone. feeling worthless one second and then setting your breakdown aside to comfort your friend. worrying about others so much that you forget to take care of yourself. setting the highest standards for yourself and feeling like a failure when you can't achieve them. feeling like a failure all the time, really. it's setting your ambitions aside for any minor reason. teaching your siblings to learn from your mistakes, having to bear the burden of making mistakes first. fearing leaving your siblings alone when you move out. shutting down and repressing memories because you need to deal with someone else's problems.
and yet, i can't imagine being anything but the eldest daughter.
