you can't find the nerve to wish me well

Things getting generally noisier, more screens/devices, more polyester in clothing. I'm not personally affected very much by lights, but maybe lights are different???

but like, kids generally spending more time in institutional settings (daycares/schools/extracurriculars) would also do it.

I was homeschooled K-12 (for disability reasons) and I really wonder sometimes how being in a "traditional" school environment would have affected me, like, developmentally. The number one thing that I absolutely Need to function and to Want To Be Alive is the ability to separate myself from other people and take downtime when I need it.

Situations where I have back-to-back activities all day are... I don't think I've ever been truly suicidal, but I've had times when the state of being alive felt so incredibly painful that I would cry for hours multiple days a week from the sheer crushing despair of having to live and be conscious through my life.

Sensory overload isn't the exact same thing as pain, but the "hurt" or suffering of pain is itself something that is not inherent to pain and only happens with pain above a certain threshold of tolerance and processing ability. So I think it's accurate to say: in the same way that an intolerable amount of pain hurts, sensory overload HURTS.

But every kid is expected to spend more than 40 hours a week in the same room as dozens or hundreds of other kids, and basically everyone thinks of this as the bare minimum for normal social development and literally cannot imagine anything else.

That is kind of an existentially dark thought to me

And then I remember that the majority of people do things like go to concerts and go to the mall

But that doesn't fully make the horror go away

I was curious and said, “Oh, I don’t post everything I guess, which one was it?”

He started scrolling through his phone and said he wanted it to go with my fire hydrant. You might remember this little number I painted:

He bought it as a wood canvas print and loves it. I was so curious what I made that he wanted to go along with that painting.

Finally he says triumphantly, “this one!”

I started laughing hysterically. I said, “You want my little pool floaty??? I made that in 15 minutes while the professor went over the syllabus!”

And he looked down at his phone with love and said, “I just think it’s so cool. I know that ones painted and one is 3D but they just go together. It reminds me of fortnite. I don’t play fortnite but it reminds me of it.”

Copper Woolly Bat Kerivoula cuprosa

It is found in Cameroon, Democratic Republic of the Congo, Ivory Coast, and Guinea. The copper woolly bat is insectivorous, foraging for its insect prey in cluttered rainforests. It likely hunts by gleaning, or plucking insects off of vegetation. Its broad wings are capable of maneuverable flight and hovering for short durations.