nana

it’s unfair how i have the responsibility to heal myself when i didn’t cause my wound in the first place

like there comes a point where you think something is fundamentally wrong with you. and then it turns out it’s just Friday and you haven’t washed your hair in three days and maybe you’re also just a little lonely and the combination of all three of those things is whittling a hole into your chest every time you breathe. but also the sun’s up. and you’ve survived everything so far, so you’ll survive this too, even if it hurts, even if you have to survive it many times.

i don’t feel like a person ..? it feels like i’m viewing life in the third person.

My body is so disgusting. I can’t stand to even look at it anymore. It’s so fat and ugly, I can’t even breathe. What I would give to just be anyone else.

the way not eating is actually a lot of work. I have to plan according to what im gonna eat when, who’s gonna be there, coming up with lies, its a whole full time job frfr

As much as Pearl is a bad and deeply fucked up person, the way her psycho/sociopathy is depicted and talked about feels almost sympathetic? Like during that monologue near the end, she says that she feels like she's missing something that the rest of the world has and that scares her... and how she regrets killing her parents and regrets her infidelity... Idk, in a genre saturated with villains who are only villains because they're mentally ill, seeing one that feels so humanized while still being terrifying is refreshing

im sorry that being around me became a chore that nobody wanted

“Selbst, wenn du weißt, was kommt, bist du nie darauf vorbereitet wie es sich anfühlt.”

constantly just trying to keep my head above water is not a pleasant way to exist.

Hast du schon mal „es ist wie es ist" gesagt, aber dir innerlich so unendlich doll gewünscht, es wäre anders....