Ey Whaddup

It is still sooooooo fucking funny that tumblr, the "fuck that old man" website, the villain apologist website, AND the paranormal boyfriend website read Dracula and went "Count Dracula sucks, we hate this dude." Planetary alignment levels of unlikely.

the renaissance of freaky vampires in media makes me so unbelievably happy it’s what god intended.

so much of twilight is bella purposefully "killing time." no friends, no particular interests, no hobbies... allegedly she's a book girl but like. other than wuthering heights and maybe shakespeare she never references anything. she's not particularly well spoken or ingenious. she doesn't seem to think much about the future nor the past. edward wanted to read her thoughts but if he'd tuned in it'd just be like [elevator music]. for the record this is the opposite of a negative post i would not change a single thing about her. girl you didn't need a freak boyfriend you needed 40 mg of prozac twice daily

if you try to run me through with your blade i'll just pull it in deeper until we're face to face and kiss you on the mouth. with tongue.

and yes. i will vomit blood into your mouth <3

I CARE SO MUCH IT HURTS A LITTLE

I love tumblr because “I love this character so much I want to put them in a blender, pour the results into an ice tray, stick it in the freezer, and make popsicles out of them so that I may consume their essence” is not only a common sentiment, but a socially acceptable one here

But when I, Count Dracula

this would performance kill a peasant in medieval times

hey sorry i didn’t answer your text i was busy climbing out of that which resembles my grave but isn’t