I need to stop replying to βhow do you make friends in your 30s?β threads because all my answers boil down to βyou have to want to know people instead of have friendsβ and I donβt think people wanna hear that
This is some liberal nonsense for real...completely ignoring the actual material conditions of why making friends in your 30s is a systemic nightmare, and trust me cause I always "want to know people" plenty, yet i am extremely alineated and this is some victim blaming BS right here...
Most people with active social circles at this age are just coasting by on "legacy infrastructure", they are retaining friends from school, college, old jobs or family networks. If you happen to be unlucky enough to have hit a patch of cruel, "toxic" people during those formative eras, the entire floor drops out from under you and rebuilding a network from scratch under capitalism is a completely different beast
Even without the immense labor of childcare or looking after aging parents, or the understandable priority of finding a significant other in this modern dating landscape...people are structurally burnt out ~ Wage slavery drains every drop of our surplus energy ~ So when people finally get a microscopic sliver of free time, they don't want to invest emotional capital into a stranger, they simply want to rot in peace at home alone...
Iβve met incredible people irl where the mutual desire to connect is absolutely there, but they simply do not have the physical or mental bandwidth to prioritize a brand new person over their pre-existing ecosystem
Liberals truly live in some alternate hyper individualized "live love laugh" ass reality where structural alienation can be solved by just wanting it enough or wanting it right
Do not let them guilt trip you into thinking something is inherently wrong with YOU because you are isolated, your alienation isn't a personality defect but a systemic byproduct
I think there might be other reasons why you have no friends.
