Farmer Brown has no idea what he's in for.

Like, I’m not necessarily talking realism here since often it’s still pretty far from realistic, but more like, “someone has to be running spies in this fantasy kingdom, and we’ve seen the whole royal court, so which background character is it? How does that change these three major interactions?” Or “real life historical nobility did in fact have some things to do that were like jobs, how does this human disaster cope with running an estate?” Or “there’s no reason for a sci-fi robot detective to know how to whitewater kayak, where’d she learn?” Or “if this guy is serving the emperor directly he has to be way high up in the space empire servant hierarchy, why is he doing this menial task for someone else? What’s his motive? Does he perhaps have the secret space telepathy?”

Pàng Yé Chén MíngHào 陳明昊

Xiaoge lays out how things are going to go in this new Wangless era, eyes heavy with the weight of knowledge of the Ultimate, and even the upstart overseas Zhangs eventually subside. (It doesn't hurt that Wu Xie is there, giving them that smile that doesn't reach his eyes, the entire family knowing that his hands are drenched in Wang blood but not on *their* behalf. And then there's Pangzi, joking and laughing and dropping little tidbits of information that let them know *just* how much these three know about the Zhang family, their strengths and weaknesses, and how the Iron Triangle is loyal to itself first and the Zhangs only as a byproduct.)

So they deal with all those shenanigans, and they all hold it together for the month or so that requires, and then they make like that one gif of the dude throwing a peace sign and then fading out. No one hears from them for, like, a month after that.

Because they're here:

Or maybe here:

Definitely here:

Two bedrooms, regardless of who is sleeping with who, if anyone at all. They spend several nights all clumped together in a single bed no matter what, but they have the other room for when someone inevitably has nightmares, or can't sleep, or feels stifled. Sometimes Xiaoge just watches Pangzi and Wu Xie sleep curled together like puppies, half-disbelieving that he's actually here. That they're actually here. That they're together, asleep, safe, *warm.*

Because I'm guessing the Bronze Gate is super freakin' cold. Thus Wu Xie's mission to take Xiaoge someplace warm as soon as possible. There is snorkeling and scuba diving (since all three canonically dive!) in water almost bathtub-warm, and Wu Xie is satisfied when he can see the faint dusting of Xiaoge's tattoo all day as he rotisseries himself on one of their private sun loungers. The water is grounding for Xiaoge, enough sensory input to remind him he has a body, his breath either loud in his own ears through the respirator, or he is constantly reminded of it held tight in his lungs as he freedives, nothing between him and the ocean.

And there's a kitchen in their place, so they can eat out when they feel lazy, but mostly Pangzi gets to indulge in his love language of food. They go fishing together, and then Pangzi serves them up their own catch. They sit side by side with their legs dangling in the pool, hips pressed together, as they eat and watch the sunset together. They didn't have Nespresso machines when Xiaoge went behind the Gate, so they introduce him to those, and Xiaoge gets to indulge his secret fondness for foofy coffee every morning without having to interact with other human beings.

The other human beings thing is still a little touch and go at first, because it's not just Xiaoge reaccustoming himself to the real world again; it's also Wu Xie and Pangzi supporting Xiaoge as he gets to come into his own for the first time. To be an entire person, not just a vehicle for the Zhang family legacy. To form relationships on his own terms, not just for their utility. And some of it is great; Xiaoge totally bonds with one of the old sailing guides, spending hours not talking with him. Some of it is less great, like when Xiaoge gets brave and signs up for a massage at the spa after Wu Xie returns one afternoon, all floppy and sleepy-eyed and oiled up from his own deep tissue treatment. But turns out Xiaoge is not ready to be touched by strangers like that, not yet, and it feels daring m of him to both try AND to say no. Wu Xie and Pangzi celebrate him drawing that line on his own terms.

The next day, Pangzi says he's off for yet another cooking class, determined to master the souffle, but he comes back late in the afternoon, carting a massage table and snelling of lavender from a morning spent pumping the massage therapists for pointers. He tugs Xiaoge out on the back porch and lays him out on the table. Xiaoge is tense at first, but there is the grounding sound of the ocean close by, and Wu Xie drags his own lounger close to sit and take one of Xiaoge's hands while Pangzi goes to work. Wu Xie keeps up a nonsense prattle of some random historical something or other he learned about while Xiaoge was gone, something entirely unconnected to their history, while Pangzi oils up his hands and proceeds to put all his newfound massage knowledge to use.

Once they all settle into it, once Xiaoge relaxes safe between the hands of the most important people in the world to him, once Pangzi has reassured himself that he's not just tenderizing Xiaoge like a side of meat, Pangzi and Wu Xie slide into their regular banter, teasing each other over nothing, playing like they used to before Tibet. Before Xiaoge left them. To Xiaoge, the sound is more relaxing than any spa music.

https://vm.tiktok.com/ZTdQuxw52/

Jack out here pointing out the saddest truth about this series😭