“well of course you still worry,” topher felt bad, being able to see on bo’s face guilt, like he hadn’t been doing everything right for his partner the entire time ian had needed him for. “you’re a dedicated guy, bobby,” topher knew that not only as a friend of bo’s, but as someone who had been in a similar position to ian before, too - excluding the brutal attack from serial killers, obviously. “it might be the medication, but the medication works how it does for a reason, you know? it’s letting him get the rest he needs,” topher didn’t know everything about the topic, and he wasn’t sure on how much he should be saying to bo regardless, but he knew enough and he wanted to say enough to hopefully bring bo some peace of mind. “you’re taking good care of him, he won’t be like this forever,” he reminded his friend.
topher was already embarrassed, but the feeling grew tenfold when bo told him that he hadn’t been talking about the moment that topher assumed he had been. it was awful, that he had brought it up on his own accord so foolishly, but topher didn’t feel so bad as he saw how amused bo was over what he had done. in one of the worst times of bo’s life, to get him to laugh and to smile felt like a magnificent feat, even if it was at topher’s expense. “sorry,” topher shook his head, laughing. “shut up,” he laughed louder when bo pointed out that it was the same table, and that he wore the same blush. “i only thought, like, that’s the most memorable ‘that one time’ that we shared here, so like, i thought it was what you were talking about,” topher covered his face with his hands for a moment before pulling his hands back down in order to look at bo. “you forgot about it?” topher wasn’t offended, only surprised that someone could forget about a moment like that. “i haven’t forgotten,” he chuckled, supposing it was much easier to remember when bo was topher’s only sexual partner. “how do you do it?” he asked. “like, how can you just be so chill with someone who knows way too much?”
everything topher said was completely right , though while it allowed bo to remember why he had been so fond of the man for so long - fond enough for them to have been in a relationship all of those years ago , of course - it unfortunately wasn’t able to truly ease bo’s mind and rid him of his worries . in all honesty , there was nothing that could get bo to stop worrying about his current partner , though topher was right in pointing out that that was to be expected , considering how dedicated bo was to ian , and considering how much bo loved the man . perhaps in a different , much better situation , bo would have felt good about displaying traits of loyalty , dedication , and love . “ i suppose you’re right , ” bo said meekly , nodding . ian wouldn’t be like that forever , bo had even seen improvement already , but that made it no easier to get through the hard time . “ sorry , ” he knew that he didn’t need to apologise , but even while bo hadn’t ever been a very apologetic person , it was the only thing that felt right to express in the moment . “ thank you , ” he added with an equal exhausted meekness .
“ don’t you apologise , ” bo reassured him , and it felt so wholeheartedly good to find amusement during such a horrific time . of course , bo’s heart still ached , broken , mending slowly - to perhaps never return to it’s original state - but topher’s embarrassment rewarded bo with a lighter feeling that he hadn’t felt in quite some time . “ you’re totally right , too , that’s totally the most memorable time we’ve shared here , ” he understood where topher’s mind had been , and why , assuming that in such a small town news of topher being intimate with anyone else would have spread and reached him by now . “ honestly , yeah , ” he nodded his head , and he even chuckled a bit , thinking about how part of his reasoning was probably because it hadn’t been the only time he had been completely depraved in the wrong setting . “ oh , ” topher’s question caught him off guard , but it wasn’t a bad thing - honestly , to get bo thinking about something other than ian’s condition was arguably a very good thing indeed . after a moment of thinking about an actual answer , bo spoke up again . “ i guess i just find it easy because it’s a lot better than to like , not be cared about . take us ; we’re not together anymore , you know way more than just a friend should , but i don’t feel awkward about you knowing it all ‘cause it reminds me of how much you cared about me back then , and - well i’d like to believe that you having that dirt on me but not doing anything stupid with it also means that you still really care about me - just in a different way , of course . ”