AMBITION

have fun fetishizing the shit out of *real life* celebrities. it actually makes the people who sexualize the shit out of children’s cartoons seem normal.

did you just imply being attracted to actual real human males isn’t normal but wanting to fuck cartoon horses is

I need to reblog this again because it still makes me laugh

long distance friends pets feel like celebrities because you can only be parasocial with them

my 12 year brother is talking to his friend on the phone and trying to arrange plans to go over to his house this afternoon and was saying that our dad could drop him off maybe and i just heard him say "well i could maybe come over earlier but my dad is busy sharpening his scythe"

muffled voice coming from the phone speakers: how long till the scythe is sharp

They say ooooh be a good boy for daddy and you'll get a reward. But then the reward is just gay sex. This is bullshit. I wanted a skateboard

Then they say if you're a bad boy daddy will punish you. But what's the punishment? More gay sex! You can't escape it. This whole damn place is in the pocket of Big Sex

am i allowed to say kill all trillionaires or is that too specific of a threat

My beloved mutuals are turning my 0 note flop posts into 1 note cult classics