Uptohigh

people saying “the italians loudly booed jd vance at the olympics” like yeah he killed the pope of course they did

daddy wants to see yall on yall baddest behavior. lend me some sugar. I AM your neighbor.

I genuinely cannot tell if this is supposed to be a horny post or House of Leaves inspo. Great job, op.

secret third option actually. now, don't have me break this thing down for nothing

youd think a band named violent femmes would be made up of violent femmes. but it isnt. its dudes

youse may bloody reckon a band name of violent femmes'd be a buncha sheilas after a couple bundy cokes. but it aint. packa blokes.

the loss of the audio jack is due to puritan culture hating on penetration

reblog to slowblink at your mutuals

system of a clown. you ever think of that

idk if it's just me but i'm glad that the majority of people outside of here believe tumblr is a dead site because like i've been here for 13 years and like this is my house??? i don't need thousands upon thousands of people flocking here it'd be like inviting chimps to a house party total fucking carnage

"people keep saying this house is haunted but ive been here for 200 years and havent seen a ghost!"

How's the dental?

you can have all the teeth you can carry

I want to be devoured. Held down and consumed by the thought of you. Every breath I take more of you in until there's nothing left of me. Just some little whore you broke.

affirmations for bus drivers: i am sexy and necessary for society to function 💞 ten minutes is not that late 💞 i can fit through that gap 💞 the passengers don’t need to sit down before i blast away from the bus stop 💞 i can take this turn as fast as i want 💞 twenty minutes is not that late 💞 everyone on this bus desires me carnally 💞 thirty minutes is not that late 💞

coiling my wicked, prehensile penis around the control ball whilst i grip the sides with both hands

i just cleaned this thing . take your whiplike genitalia elsewhere, knave

very well, i return to my harem of N64 controllers