<- exactly what it says on the tin. i've been in the hospital for two and a half months due to surgery complications and struggling a tonm unfortunately life doesnt stop even when you've hit rock bottom so i still have bills to pay and no way to pay them. if you wanna help a severely chronically ill afro-indigenous nonbinary femme survive this pride month, now is your chance!

gfm | ppal | vnmo | cshapp | ko-f1 (ppal preferred)

The Barefoot Contessa (1954) is the life story of a poor Spanish woman who rises up to become one of the most famous actresses in the world. The movie does not bother to give her character traits beyond that she loves to have sex and also that she loves to run around barefoot (the fetishistic connotations are inescapable). She falls in love with a count and ultimately marries him. The big twist at the end of the movie is that her new husband had his dick blown off in the war and so they can't have sex (because, tragically, he never learned how to do hand stuff). Then he murders her for having an affair.

In 1978, Ina Garten bought a specialty food store that, for some unfathomable reason, someone had already named The Barefoot Contessa after this movie, which in 1999 became the title of her bestselling cookbook, which was then followed by a popular Food Network show. Now all of us need to deal with there being a TV cooking show called The Barefoot Contessa as part of the background radiation of our lives.