𓆩 Lobotomite 3000 𓆪

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Sam returns to Winchester Parish clean, controlled, and starving. Years ago, he gave in to a hunger that saved a life and cost him his own. He tells himself it’s behind him. That he’s stronger now. But hunger doesn’t disappear. It waits. It learns. And when it comes back, it doesn’t feel like a choice.

Inspired by the amazing @evil-pistachio incredible works of art for the @swjpbang

Sometimes John makes comments about Dean that make dread and fear settle heavy in his guts. Things like how pretty he is, how he's got girly lips and eyelashes, how men at bars can't take their eyes off him, so he better take his self-defence training seriously - or else. He doesn't have to say what the or else is. Sometimes John touches him but it's never anything he could justifiably call inappropriate if it weren't for how heavy the touches are, how they linger, how they burn his skin, how he has to scrub himself raw in the shower but still feels the phantom pressure. A large hand on the vulnerable nape of his neck or around the fragile bones of his wrist.

Dean is terribly self-concious about everything he does and says, worried that it's too provocative, worried that it might be the thing that pushes John over the edge so he diminishes himself but it never works. He tries not to provoke him but his existence is provocation.