♱

This frame…. This fucking frame…. This is it, this is the Supernatural scene ever…. Supernatural thesis statement, incest thesis statement. The way this ties back to everything. The way every single foundational character is present here, if not physically then in essence. The way this scene is what shaped the Winchesters’ lives, the ultimate act of incest that tainted their blood, that doomed them all, Mary to her death, Sam to his birth, ruining the Winchester family, ruining their blood.

The way this scene happened because Dean saved a girl and brought Azazel’s attention to Mary, dooming her and their family. How this is how it’s always been, the Winchesters saving others and dooming themselves. Mary saves John and dooms herself, but she dooms John too, and startsnthe cycle of making deals to save the one you love, not accepting death as the end (S5 ending, despite its tragedy, breaks that cycle; S15 enforces it)

And just… look at this scene. Azazel possessing the body of Mary’s father just like he will (has? This episode’s use of cyclical time mirrors the cycle the Winchesters are stuck in, the cycle that begins here….) possess John. John himself, dead but present, oblivious yet complicit; this scene is about him, about who he will become, because Azazel is Samuel but also Azazel is Samuel is John. Already his relationship with Mary juxtaposes the one with her father, marriage as a power fantasy, marriage as an escape, John as the vehicle which will take her away, that will save her from the fate of having children who grow up in this life (this is the episode he buys the Impala, the Winchesters’ true home).

Samuel is Azazel is John; This is an act of sexual intercourse and conception, the conception of Sam, the ultimate symbol of incest. Azazel came looking for children to make his, the kiss with Mary is the solidification of Sam as his son, the familial taking physical form of Samuel’s body against the sexual intent and language of Azazel, the familial and the sexual in coexistence (the way Mary will name him Samuel after the father who she kissed). But this is also an act of murder, Mary’s murder (their family’s murder). Sam’s (re)birth is Mary’s death. This sexually charged act with incestuous overtones is the direct cause of another; that of Azazel bleeding into Sam’s mouth, feeding him his fluid, tainting Sam’s blood with his own. The way Mary mistakes Azazel for John and JDM plays Azazel in the Pilot.

additionally and importantly: Sam has most, if not all, of his memories from his and Dean's past life together, purely because i absolutely adore the thought of Sam getting to juxtapose past life Dean's desperation to look after him with his own growing desperation to look after baby brother Dean in this life.

i live for Sam having this epiphany while holding a 10 year-old Dean close in his arms one night, just encasing him with all of his love, adoration and obsession and murmuring into little Dean's hair quiet enough so that he doesn't wake him,

"I get it, now, De."