Unnatural Mind

The teams are becoming clear Despite their efforts To keep us focused On fighting each other

The Media The Corporate Elites The Bought Politicians

They see us turning Toward them

Pitted Against Myself: 9/21/21

My feelings Have me in a pit

It's dark outside

The sides are so steep The top high enough To where I can't see

I pace back and forth As the sun rises As the sun sets

Another day gone Another day With no progress made Still trapped

Me In my pit

A pit so big That my thoughts revolve Around It

Take A Loss To Live: 9/1/2021

What are we But particles Floating on the winds of the Universe

So small-minded That we fail To ever see the big picture

Instead

We kill each other Because our meaningless ideas May happen to differ

Meanwhile Our planet turns against us

This Mother we call Earth Is gearing up To shed our existence

Her temperature is climbing And in turn Her seas are rising Her weather grows stronger

And yet We argue Over the color of the sky

While those with the power to change Can't see past the dollar signs in their eyes

So make no mistake Their corporate greed alone Will be the reason All of humanity dies

I'm cooking again No longer just meal prep I'm back in the heat Back to the real stress

But this time I'm sober Facing a real test

Just wake me when it's over

When I'm done with school When I get a job I like

I shower in doubt And bathe in self-loathing

The hot water feels so good Until I remember what I’m doing

“You dumb bitch” I tell myself

“Fuck! I have to stop doing this” I think As I cut the water off

My brain wanders As I reach for a towel And I try to steer it Toward positive thoughts

I navigate Through a forest Of whispering failures As I dry myself

I reach a clearing in my mind Where I tell myself “This won’t all be for nothing   Just stay positive”

I hang the towel And turn to get dressed When I stub my toe While screaming “FUCK!”

I punch the wall But hit a stud I break a few fingers Begin screaming louder As I fall to my back Screaming at the ceiling

Ten dry months And it’d be a bold faced lie If I were to say I haven’t missed it once Because I damn sure have

There have been nights Passed by with tears in my eyes Where I’ve craved the numbness But I stayed in And held out

It’s a rough life right now And this clarity is unforgiving But it would only be worse With a constant poison Entering my mouth

With these hands I still reach It’s only what I grab That has changed

For now I grab pen I grab pad

How do you determine The lifespan of a country?

Where on the progress bar Are we?

How much more of the Trump Era Must we suffer through?

How much more Can we take?

How long will it be Until Republicans awake And realize what has happened While they’ve all been Metaphorically asleep But realistically enabling?

For the sake of our future I hope we are in the 90 percents Of the progress bar Concerning Trump’s Era And not the fucking forties

Please Vote

For every step forward that we took We awoke In the Dark heart of America A people who will stop at nothing To drag us backward

I feel as if I’ve been corked

My leaks Temporarily sealed But my feelings Are welling up Like the knot in my stomach And the ball in my throat

The pressure Inside this bottle of mine Is building It’s uncomfortable

Tears sit just behind my eyes Watching Waiting To be set free

At a moments notice They can be unleashed So they sit there Watching In cahoots with my feelings Just waiting To be released

I miss simplicity The days of old Familiar stressors Before Covid Before Trump Back when Bubble Boy And Idiocracy Were still fiction Back when a president’s words Used to promote Unity Instead of Division When racists and bigots Didn’t run the country Back when the president’s goals Involved plans and a vision Instead of plans To avoid prison

I’m a tin can Dented and dinged

I get dropped in the dirt But always picked up and cleaned

I spill my contents When I shoot myself in the feet

I’ve been refilled And am slowly patching my leaks

My wounds close The further I get From my last drink

The more my mind clears The less I look back

Profanity runs hot As it pours from my mouth

I’ve got fire in my lungs Ignited by molten thoughts Burning through my mind

In four years Trump turned America Into a pool of gasoline And lit the bitch on fire

He possesses the tools To put us out But as we close up shop And run for safety He tells us not to panic To keep our shops open To stay where we are

He says all this From his island of safety Where he congratulates himself For how good a job he’s doing