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@aaronetto ... Adios 2020. Good riddance to bad rubbish 😘 . . . . . #speedo #speedoboy #fuck2020 #rona #gay #gayboy #beachbum #beachlife #beachbody #gym #fitnessmotivation #tanned https://www.instagram.com/p/CS-MhKUo-2q/?utm_medium=tumblr
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This started out as a $20 color sketch commission, but then Covid-19 hit and the work-home-work-home-work-home thing was especially hard because I lived all alone at the time and I ended up super isolated. I’m usually pretty introverted so I thought I’d be fine, but going almost a year without being able to touch another human being, or see their full face... it didn’t feel like it was bothering me until I realized how much of a hit my emotional state had taken overall. I’m an administrator for a consulting engineering office. We were deemed essential because we have a bunch of open infrastructure contracts with the city, county, CalTrans, etc. While almost all my co-workers were working from home, I was part of the very small team still showing up at the office to make sure they had everything they needed, and those of us still coming in social distanced and kept our office doors closed, because Covid. After work, I’d come home to an empty house. Normally I take care of my grandma, so I would have had her with me, but she had gone to visit relatives for Thanksgiving/Christmas and ended up extending her stay due to snow on the road, and then shelter in place. I was all alone. I stopped doing art. Like, completely. I started getting sleepy within an hour of getting home from work, so that I’d go to bed around 7PM, often without eating. Then my sister got hit by this hard. The bar where she worked was struggling to survive just selling bar-food to go, her hours got cut, tips were non-existent because people were mad they couldn’t sit and eat. Her husband got laid off, and they couldn’t afford their apartment anymore. They were about to become homeless. Meanwhile I had an empty 4 bedroom. So I had her move in with me. Suddenly I wasn’t alone anymore; I was surrounded by family and the difference it made is something we really need to study in mental health services. I finally started working on this again, and I decided to throw out the “$20 sketch” limitation and just enjoy it. It still needs some polish, but I think this one will remain special to me for what it represents.
11 years ago I met my best friend thru what I call a glitch in the universe. For now I’ll call him Reese....
My first love had just left me and Reese was trying to get over an unrequited love of his own. A mutual friend made a comment that Reese was not doing well mentally and I jumped to help....honestly; just grateful for the distraction.
Time passed and we grew to be as inseparable as two people separated by almost 1000 miles can be. Eventually Reese admitted he had feelings for me, and at the time I was still so hung up on my ex that I wasn’t willing to even think about thinking about giving him a chance. Reese stood by me. He stayed when I went back to my ex, stayed when it blew up in my face (two more times), stayed when even after all of that I skipped over giving him a chance KNOWING he still had feelings for me to try to be with someone I had just met.
Years went by before I was able to admit to myself that I had feelings for him. And by the time I fully realized it I was in a committed relationship.... I feel like a total ass. It’s been 11 years... I’m married, Reese was IN the wedding and we both have feelings that neither of us will act on.
It comes up every so often; we talk about it, apologize, and sit in silence for hours. Neither of us really knowing how to clear the air for good.
I’ve spent 6 years trying to put these feelings to bed. Unfortunately for me that’s seems to be when everything floods into my brain.
On top of the normal chaos that this creates in life now we are dealing with Covid....from opposite sides of the US/Canada border.
Reese was set to move here almost a year ago and then the border closed; we’ve both been in a downward spiral since. I’m beginning to feel desperate and restless. I’ve asked him to fly down to visit while we wait for the world to start resembling something normal. And while I haven’t got an answer yet I’m already looking at flights....debating booking a flight for myself to wherever his connection is to spend time with him without all of our friends around.
Just us like it used to be.
moons of 2020
Sketchbooks 09-12/2020 Preface
A little update on the next batch of post for a bit.
Sorry, for all the cat pics lately but I needed the break / buffer to get through my messy process of scanning and editing sketches to post. Ever since my student adobe licenses expired I’ve been sort of winging it with different freeware in an attempt to make a streamlined process. I still draw traditionally for the most part and my scanner fights me the whole way.
Also, another reason these sketches are coming out now is because while I have a goal to draw daily I honestly didn’t get to it, especially with the irl stuff that came down on me in the later half of last year which drained a lot of my time and energy. So even if these were not all drawn in the months they are being posted for I’m still gonna count them that way because I did the work to catch up to my goals. I also was planning more higher quality artwork for 2020 but obviously that didn’t happen and a lot of the challenges, prompts, and projects I had planned are going to be pushed to this year. I may not have gotten them done then but I can do them now. We can always still create more.
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NYE outtakes.
Too late for this Christmas, but it’ll look great on the tree next year. #fuck2020 https://www.instagram.com/p/CJwq0nHD4BQ/?igshid=i3a7tz82ukyq
