Anyone else grow as a โboyโ wishing to be a lesbian but then saw men joking about how their heterosexuality โtechnicallyโ making them lesbians and just assumed that you were the same as them and being creepy?
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Before I dive into this, if you are not familiar with me, hi! I'm Teagan!
My relevance to HDG: I am GlitchyRobo's sister and the editor of the revised HDG, her other works, and the new HD.G website we have been working on to replace the old wiki. Before leaving the Community Server in March of 2025, I was one of the most active members of the Loret team, leading the site rework which would later become the base for the Lorets' new website. Also I wrote the HDG romance Courtship.
All of which is to clumsily say that I am among the foremost experts on the setting. I do not mean to preface this as an appeal to my own authority, I just want to establish that this is coming from a place of someone intimately familiar with the setting, its history, and the various approaches to guide and curate the setting over the past five years.
~~~
I want to start with the fact that I am not looking to get into the business of litigating what is or is not sex (or the bounds of what is asexuality or acekink is). Every person's experience of asexuality is different, and every person has their own approaches and lines when it comes to comfort with physical intimacy.
That said, the main vector I approach asexuality from in regards to the critique of the increased sexualization of HDG stories is a matter of access. (More below the cut.)
Asexuality is a spectrum, and part of that not every kinky ace person has the same needs and desires from kink literature. If you are gray-ace who doesn't seek out sexuality but aren't bothered by it, you may equally enjoy a more allo story and a more ace story, but to a sexed-averse/repulsed ace person (such as myself), the allo story has a significant barrier to my ability to read it, whether that be needing to skim over the sexy bits (and hope it doesn't spark an PTSD spiral), skip a chapter entirely (if clearly marked) and losing context later in the story, or preventing me from reading the story altogether.
Now, at the end of the day, some might say... who cares? There are so many of both ace and allo stories in HDG, surely this isn't a problem โ just read what you want!
To which I gesture to the vast world of kink fiction on the internet, cishet and queer alike, filled to the brim with allosexual stories. In our current global political climate, most queer kink fiction is relegated to NSFW, sex-focused sites and communities, which means that I (and other kinky sex-averse ace folks) have to wade through the sea of sex-focused kink fiction in the hopes of finding something that has a low enough sex threshold to enjoy, just to be able to find stories which reflect my lived experience in my relationships.
In the early HDG days (2021-22), that was one of the primary draws of the setting for me. Here was a setting which I liked, which I felt seen in, that I by and large didn't need to worry about not being able to partake in the emotional climax of a story (because it was yet another mind control story ending on a sex scene). If a story had sex (beyond what falls into the realm of "class-A-boosted sensuality"), it was either clearly marked and relegated to a post-script (such as In Sleep We Fell) or otherwise written in such a way that was not focusing on the overt physicality of it. For the first time in my many years of reading kink fiction, I felt I could let my vigilance around not being reminding about my experience with sexual assault or risk falling into various dysphoric spirals due to the description of sexual acts.
I do critique the modern setting for losing that. It's not something which I think any individual story or author is at fault for โ it has been a gradual shift over time. When I talk about these things, it is not my intention to come across as "You shouldn't write HDG stories with more overt sexuality in it", as both (again) I don't want to be in the business of defining what sex is and also I recognize that sexuality is very important to a number of queer folks' identity and I would never say that they shouldn't be allowed to explore that in the context of the stories they're writing.
I just urge folks writing more sexual things in HDG to be mindful of the early setting's importance to ace folks. Which is to say, first and foremost, please don't present florethood as inherently sexual and please clearly mark when there is going to be sex, either throughout a story or within a specific section. If you want to go a step further, move the more sexual scenes to epilogues or interludes, allowing ace readers to fully partake in the core narrative of your story.
Ultimately, I am not saying what you can or cannot write (I do not have that authority nor do I want that authority), but at the same time when it comes to HDG as I understand it, that type of sexually-focused story faces a significant barrier to be considered HDG for me.
To not have the story be safe for sex-averse ace folks misses one of the primary elements that drew me to HDG from day one, and that is an element essential to my love of the setting.
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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telling her โyouโre doing such a good jobโ when sheโs explaining something mundane, just to watch her completely lose her train of thought
casually saying โthatโs my girlโ when she hands me something, then pretending not to notice how flustered she gets.
correcting something she mightโve done improperly and following it with โgood, see? you listen so wellโ like itโs the most normal thing in the world.
praising her for something small โyou rememberedโ or โyouโre so thoughtfulโ and enjoying how she suddenly canโt make eye contact.
leaning in while sheโs busy mid task and whispering โyouโre so cute when you focusโ then watching her forget what she was supposed to do.
saying โthere you goโ after she does exactly what I asked, even if it was just sitting closer or following any order.
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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Free to watch โข No registration required โข HD streaming
Deskpet but in a non sexual way, so you sit there under their desk and between their legs, resting your head on their lap, peacefully sleeping while they play/work and getting head rubs/kisses when they need extra support or a break...
How am I supposed to write without access to research? I need my smut to be academically rigorous! How am I supposed to write leftist infighting without access to my book archive? How am I supposed to write plampt smut without wikipedia to look up plant parts?
How am I supposed to make obscure medievalist naming jokes that only I probably get if I don't have access to the OED to verify stuff?
(also def have wikis and guides up while writing to keep track of shared universe things because I don't remember my own naming conventions, much less ones established by others; do the same type of thing for my day job writing)
"there shouldn't be kink in public" is almost always about either petplay or just trans people existing. which is not great because i feel like one of the biggest offenders gets missed in this discourse every single time, which is that marching band is functionally dronification with cooler outfits
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
โ Live Streamingโ Interactive Chatโ Private Showsโ HD Qualityโ Free Actions
Free to watch โข No registration required โข HD streaming
In my head: ohmygodohmygodohmygod, they're tiny care bears that you can move around and there's a treehouse and clouds and a little rainbow road and the nose seems to be a button that you can press, what does it do! Aaaaaa! It winks! This is so cool!
germansingergirl
baratheonpilled
