Green Stained Bullet Holes

“Audience, I’m gonna try and be polite. I’ve had this conversation with you before many times over the past sixteen years. You know I love you. And I know that you love me and all of us. It’s a mutual relationship. But! You gotta shut up about how good or bad we are at video games. We’re not trying to be good at video games. Yeah! I know that I can break a fucking tree with an axe faster than with a pickaxe. But I’m not just playing Minecraft to be good at Minecraft! Good is boring. I’m trying to entertain. We’re trying to entertain. And when you play Minecraft with your friends at home or you play Grand Theft Auto and when you’re winning a race and you’re doing better than Geoff did in a video or you’re doing better than Gavin did in a video, chances are you’re probably not funnier than we are in a video. Maybe you are but you didn’t record it; you should have. And if you went to record, then you would understand that it’s a hard thing to do: to play a video game, and listen to three different conversations at the same time and also be trying to come up with a narrative in your head and be thinking fifteen minutes in front of you as to what the video is gonna look like and where your going and how to wrap that up into a succinct story that is entertaining to an audience. And you got all those things bouncing around in your head and Gavin’s making bird noises and Michael is yelling at Gavin and Ryan, nobody knows what the fuck Ryan’s doing cause he’s a lunatic, and you’re trying to make sense of all that and maybe you use the wrong tool in the middle of it or maybe you forget to put a block down. Cut us some slack, man. We’re doing a lot at once here. That’s all.”

Call now

You’re worth the hunt, Valentine!

“Damn, that’s not a good look…”

Geoff screams his head off at basically fucking nothing in The Exorcist #2. Loud warning