The right hand that knows what the left is doing. Giovanni Gasparro, 2011
Aqua Utopia|海の底で記憶を紡ぐ
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祝日 / Permanent Vacation
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@universecalls
The right hand that knows what the left is doing. Giovanni Gasparro, 2011

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Broad-snouted caiman in Argentina
MARK MACEWEN / NATURE PICTURE LIBRARY
Thoughts on Badb, social dysfunction, and questions about community to consider on the other side of quarantine.
What does dysfunction in this context actually mean? In its most general and non-clinical sense, I assume social dysfunction means being unable to conduct one’s daily life in a way that doesn’t repeatedly cause distress to oneself and/or others. Conversely, social functioning would therefore mean being able to conduct one’s daily life without significant distress to others or self.
But…what if you believe that your society is fundamentally wrong?
The concept of Ego-death eluded me for a while until I realized the Ego is not the same as the Self. Ego-death just means the removal of the facade that hides the Self and prevents the Self from growing in the way that feels natural to it.
To me this is what Odin’s sacrifice “of myself, to myself” means.
“But that sounds really fucking scary. I’ll have to recontextualize everything I thought I knew about myself, dig into why I think the way I think and why I do the things I do, deprogram the idea that the Self is bad, confront the traumas that put me there, go through a potential grieving period, and then move the ‘Self’ from a theoretical idea to an actual lived experience, which may piss people off and will definitely dramatically change my lifestyle.”
Yes.
If we want to compare this other esoteric practices: This is similar to the alchemical magnum opus, the Great Work, the Philosopher’s Stone, the transition through Black, White, Yellow, and Red. This kind of work is terrifying and you don’t win admiration or praise from anyone. But the reward is an unshakeable sense of internal sovereignty, and the continual experience of your own inherent worth.
Also it shows you what a fucking madman Odin is for basically doing a speed-run of this shit. Sheesh.
it also offers insight into Grimr, Masked One, and Fjolnir, Many: every mask and every face is precisely as un/real as every other; the Self is the core, and each face becomes an instantiation/expression of the Self encountering (taking in, devouring, playing with) existence
this -- and particularly the speedrunning of this -- is simultaneously one of the things I most admire about Him and one of the things that makes me shake my head and ask very dry if He has ever even heard of the concept of chill
(the answer is, of course, no)
Dionysus is still interested.
Altered breathing and odd feeling in the head and body

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I just had the worst realization. My #sea problems, you Odin folks with your knife thing, you Loki folks with your cannibalism…
Some say love, it is a river, that drowns the tender reed Some say love, it is a razor, that leaves the soul to bleed Some say love, it is a hunger, an endless aching need ….
Look, I’m not sure whether we need to find some fertility/agricultural deity devotees to appease Bette Midler, or avoid them in order to banish her, but I’m just saying, this is a concern.
also roses and flowers for Freyr and Freyja!
maybe we need some unmanly dancing with bells…?
Which of Odin’s eyes is gone?
Left or right?
I once said right but now I’m not so sure.
Why Grimnir?
Knowledge giver-masked man.
And also the secret keeper.
Why these two aspects?
i love all the words we have that mean traveler. i love the shades of difference between wanderer and rambler and rover. i love the boldness of adventurer and the purposefulness of explorer, the lawlessness of vagabond and the capability of wayfarer, the quiet reverence of pilgrim and the wild rootlessness of nomad.

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Havamal verse of the Day
I counsel thee, Stray-Singer,
accept my counsels,
they will be thy boon is thou obey’st them,
they will work thy weal if thou wins’st them:
be not a shoemaker nor yet a shaft maker
save for thyself alone:
let the shoe be misshapen, or crooked the shaft,
and a curse on thy head will be called.
(Bray Translation, 125).
Will the ocean ever welcome me back?
Where is the wanderer buried?
He isn’t. He’s left to rot in a ditch.
Dead in a grassy ditch on the side of a road.
No standing water
Brown wavy hair splayed about
Something purple worn
The deep water is unmerciful, Peter Neill

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How long have you known me old man?
My past lives have a bearing on who I am now.