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@unhinged-soapbox
EVERYONE SHUT UP MY SHOW IS BACK

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Some Dateables: So. I really like you. But I like my partner that you set me up with. And they like you. Is that gonna be complicated?
Me: *Opens Date-A-Dex* I am currently dating 36 other objects in this house. I don't think a polycule will be a problem.
Weird looking slime
USPS: Your packages were delivered.
Me and husband: No? They weren't?
USPS: Well sometimes things get marked prematurely, so they'll probably come next time you get mail.
*Two days later*
Me and husband: So we got more mail but they still aren't here.
USPS: Huh. Well...
Me and husband: HEY SO DID YOU LOSE OUR PACKAGES??????
It is kind of funny that Arthur is just standing there yet everyone apparently gets mega mad about him
I KNOW RIGHT
Arthur Holmwood: *exists*
Every adapter and sequel-writer, apparently: What if he was a CHEATER? What if he was EVIL? What if he actually HATED LUCY and wanted to KILL HER? What if he MURDERED PUPPIES FOR FUN???
Like, even I can think of some interesting dark paths for that character to take, but they've got to be, like, based in something.
Anyway whenever people are mean 2 him this is who they're being mean to

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I love how Zohran Mamdani is wearing a suit everywhere. And if he has anything else he puts it ON TOP of the suit. A basketball jersey. A high-vis vest. All worn over the suit. He’s like the mayor character in a cartoon who’s always dressed as The Mayor. If I didn’t know who he was and he biked past me in NYC I’d be like holy shit was that the mayor
“people shouldn’t have to accept the bare minimum-” I agree with that too but we’re at a point where we have to cling to the bare minimum or that will be taken away too
I'm very tired of this "queer college students should stop supporting Palestine, they'd kill you there!" I watched a hijabi ask a trans man, "but what name do you want to go by?" A butch giving a woman their hoodie so that she could keep her hair covered after the cops took her scarf. Muslim girls making sure the lesbian couple got through the system together. Religious men making sure purple haired protestors got out safe. I don't want to hear it. Solidarity forever, free Palestine.
The eye doctor is the most fun doctor you can go to. They never steal your blood. They never make you get naked and put on a paper dress. They're just like, "Can you see these letters? It's fine if you can't, we can fix that." And they don't even spell anything.
happy PRIDE i’m here i’m queer and i believe the land should be given back to the proper indigenous stewards.
Non-Natives reblogging this are great and wonderful
Please remember that "land back" does not mean "indigenous people are mystical elves with innate epigenetic wisdom of land stewardship and they don't belong in big cities," nor does it mean "non-indigenous people can't be farmers." What it DOES mean is that "non-indigenous farmers should be paying the equivalent of property taxes to the native governments their land was stolen from." It means, "there's a great deal of indigenous scholarship on sustainable agricultural practices that farmers should be taking into account, because indigenous agriculture was more advanced than European agriculture at the time Europe invaded the Americas and western agriculture *still* hasn't caught up in terms of figuring out how to produce equivalently high crop yields without compromising the ecosystem." It means, "non-indigenous farmers should be in an intellectual discourse with indigenous agricultural scientists and indigenous peoples that still do traditional farming, figuring how to repair the damage western farming practices have done to the ecosystem."
It also means that indigenous peoples should regain the right to sustain themselves on the land according to the practices they want, and they should have free reign to perform their cultural practices and protect their holy sites, as opposed to the current model where if they try to honor their dead on public lands they get violently removed.
People also get angry at this concept thinking it'd mean non-native people getting mass evicted from their homes but 1) your home is already owned by a bank or big business or government, the difference would mainly be who you're now paying rent to and 2) most of the land in America isn't residential anyway.
This topic isn't about your house that you're already struggling to pay for, it's about thousands of miles of the planet rotting away under the monopoly of big agriculture and oil, but hypothetically speaking I think a local tribe would treat you a shitload better than whatever inhuman real estate brand you're already at the mercy of.
Speaking of land back, I wanna highlight red-dead-revival’s comment here. I honestly have mixed feelings about the other comments, because I do think land back may involve more uncomfortable things than just “white people pay taxes to Native nations rather than their settler govt” or whatever. I like RDR’s comment because they actually center Indigenous people and what land back would mean for us.
When I have asked other people in my community what Land Back means to them, they almost always talk about being able to actually harvest food, to access sacred sites, to have a say over what people do to our homelands so that we can keep doing those things. Yet when white people talk about Land Back they are sooooo concerned with “what will happen to the white people / everybody else.”
I also think this is a symptom of white people being unaware of the ways we are impacted by colonization Right Now. They don’t know how we’re forced off sacred sites and can’t practice subsistence traditions due to land theft and things like pollution and climate change caused by colonial powers. So they think the only thing that could possibly be desired by Native people is evicting all settlers.

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Me: As necessary as it sometimes is, I really hate trespassing people from the library. Because what if they get really mad and come back and kill us all out of anger before we have a chance to call security?
My coworker: ....Hey so that kinda feels like worst case scenario thinking.
Me: Yeah, you should've seen me before I was medicated.
"going out to get milk" is a common turn of phrase used to describe a man abandoning his family.
the "milkman" is a common figure in stories depicting a woman's infidelity and adulterous affair.
this implies that the ability to provide milk would both decrease the likelihood of a man abandoning his wife and children, as it would eliminate the need for leaving to get milk AND would secure that man's marriage, as his wife would have no need to seek milk from an extraneous source.
therefore, all men should produce milk, through various means such as:
- being a cow
- being an almond
- being a woman
- being a coconut
- being in the omegaverse
- being an oat
(list is exemplary and not finite)
in this essay, i will redefine the nuclear family and explain the seductive and inflammatory nature of the 1993 "Got Milk?" commercials.
you shut your mouth.
hi yeah i know ive been on this medication for 8 years but i need-- yeah. yeah 3 more months please. I'll call you in 3 months to beg for 3 more months, thanks. Bye. Love you.
Im sorry but you need to come in person for a checkup to make sure you actually need the medication you’ve been taking for 8 years
This version of the progress flag legitimately looks so nice
Gilbert baker rainbow, huge intersex circle, the design is cluttered but in a good way 10/10
[ID: A version of the progress pride flag with a large purple intersex ring outlined in gold, looping through pink, blue, brown, and black chevrons on the side, which have a base of white. The horizontal stripes are: pink, red, orange, yellow, green, light blue, dark blue, and purple. End ID.]
It's happening the morphing into Ohio
Girls. That's the original image. We've come full circle. It's always just been the state of Ohio
Love when people accidentally recreate the meme like with the "fuck this post and happy birthday Sonic" one
you solve the mystery of what to have for dinner one night and you think "hell yeah case closed forever" WRONG there is a dinner mystery the next night too

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Elephants when one of them puts on a party hat in the Backrooms
resurrected dead wife watching her own montage: wow I looked so hot in that