Aster

when the fanartist draws ur ship growing old together but you lowkey envisioned them as dying tragically at 27 after a 5 year substance abuse spiral 😭😭😭

we are kind of in "fetish world where everyone does my fetish" but the fetish is heteromonogamy

complimented a womans clear raincoat this morning and she said Well i feel like a sandwich

love my boys. love to watch them wave goodbye in my rearview mirror

am i the best father in the world? well no. am i the best father in the hunting world? also no. this is why bill harvelle has to die

*trying to pitch public transportation to Americans* it’s like a legal form of texting while driving

lol i tricked you i actually have no soul or interiority. my actions are merely a hollow imitation of a complete being. and you totally fell for it too

[staggering to my feet and wiping a single perfect drip of blood from my mouth] i have to get back on my bullshit. no matter the cost

i know chuck is a writer in the show but functionally he's more like a guy playing sims. he created his characters and does fucked up shit to them for funsies. he doesn't have total control 100% of the time so sometimes the characters do stuff he doesn't want them to do and it frustrates him. he creates himself to see if his characters will like him. he gets tired of his faves having to work (hustle pool, gamble, etc.) so he just goes ctrl+shift+c motherlode motherlode motherlode motherlode via special hacked credit cards so he can play with them more.

puts my uncomfortably wet hand on your shoulder. see here, gay boy- can i call you gay boy?

good morning to the beaten and the damned only

i am always kidding but i am also always serious. do not underestimate me

can i come over and implant false memories of us being childhood friends?

Sure! You always did that when we were younger!