a little bit lost

no but you know what would be nice? experiencing the kind of happiness that doesn’t turn out to be a lesson that I have to mourn over for at least 3 months

it's like i am literally never going to own a house or find authentic love or escape the clutches of late stage capitalism so really what am i living for

when you take the cd out of the cd player and it's warm that's because it's alive

my mom told me that credit card interest paid used to be tax deductible and i looked this up because it sounded totally bananas to me but apparently this used to be the case until 1986. what sort of fantasy world were baby boomers living in

When vampires are portrayed as mainly preying on women that's so unrealistic like I'm sorry but they're too careful especially around strange men. Dudes are much easier. You could literally lurk in a bush in the park at night and call out "whoa look at this fucked up looking squirrel" and have 3 grown men climb in immediately

Also almost every woman I know has low blood pressure and so many are anemic. Men make for much better prey because 1) easy to catch yes and 2) so much more blood

love when emails start off with “DO NOT REPLY”. like oh yeah way ahead of you brother

It's 2009 and you're an advertiser who just got assigned this sweet job for a holiday commercial. You know, family stuff was always hard for you to write as a only child, but you really think you nailed the dynamic here. Now to submit the final cut to Folger's and

half the fun of tea is getting to hold the warm mug