I Needed Colour

You’re probably wondering how I got here… I was 15 when I watched Enchanted, a full year after it had come out. The details of where I watched it are hazy–perhaps it was on HBO or something?–but I deeply, deeply remember *what* I felt, watching it.Which was, well, *Enchanted.*Giselle’s story of going from naïve “princess” to brave heroine (with a freaking sword!) was both an homage to all of my…

The Kubler-Ross stages of grief are Denial, Anger, Bargaining, Depression, and Acceptance. I thought I was skipping straight into Anger, but I realize the fact it took me years to give grief a name was the denial. Because I couldn’t find the right words to convince others that I was right to be hurt. Because I couldn’t find the right words to convince myself. My best friend, Esther, likes to…

This is a blog. This is a scream into the void. I do not need you to read this, but a part of me wants it to be read. I’m 32. I have borderline personality disorder. Those two things are important in the context of what I want to say next. I *dread* attending weddings. Don’t get me wrong: I can (and do!) feel happy for the bride and groom. I get excited over their prenup pictures, their…

If you haven’t been able to figure it out from my last four or so posts, I’m pretty hyperfixated on AI at the moment. It started as something I had to learn for work–my boss has been screaming at all of us about how AI was basically going to upend work as we knew it for nigh-on two years now; it’s only now (possibly too late?) that we’ve all started to believe him–but has rather quickly become a…

I. How We Keep Getting Dracula Wrong Let’s start with this: Dracula is not a love story. Not in Bram Stoker’s novel. Not in its core themes. Not in the reality of what Dracula does to his victims. And yet, time and time again, adaptations have tried to make it one. They have taken a story about predation and turned it into a story about longing. Coppola’s Bram Stoker’s Dracula gave us the…

Did you happen to see this screenshot floating around of the poem that DeepSeek R1 made? If you haven’t, here you go: For context, a content creator (bio reads: “AI Influencer”) called KatanHya on X seems to be trying to get AI to dialogue on a philosophical/creative level—an interesting exploration of how artificial intelligence either assists or reflects back to us the way we think. They…

DISCLAIMER: This blog post was difficult to write without help, so I’ve been assisted by AI in the writing of it. In the interests of transparency, then, this blog post will be a transcript of the “conversation” I had with ChatGPT. ME: Hey ChatGPT, could you help me explain why, as someone diagnosed with Borderline Personality Disorder and Complex Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder, I might…

DISCLAIMER: This is a word-for-word transcription of an exchange between this blogger and ChatGPT. Reflecting the current state of AI ethics, is not meant to represent an “original written work;” it is simply being shared because it is interesting. Also, SPOILERS FOR BALDUR’S GATE 3. ME: Hey ChatGPT, I have a bit of a thought experiment for you. I’m going to give you a person’s primary,…