shadow short for shadow the hedgehog

ive never been able to take "climb him like a tree" as a sexual innuendo seriously because i picture climbing a tree in my mind and then i picture a tall man in my mind and when i put those two things together im not seeing anything sexual. im seeing like. circus tricks.

little miss auditory processing disorder would like you to repeat what you just said then immediately respond to you before you finish

when the blackberry bushes have thorns to discourage mammals from monopolizing the consumption of their fruits and encourage birds to spread their seeds but they don’t know that the mammal in question is ME #notdiscouraged

#ow

#stuck

"why are so many leftists disabled" maybe it's because disabled people don't really care for the "kill all disabled people" parties but who can say

if my name was "wolfgang amadeus" i would also be getting a lot of shit done

“Lol” hasn’t meant “laughing out loud” in like 15 years… it’s just a word now and more importantly it’s the perfect way to end a sentence lol

it’s amazing how women are able to navigate crowded rooms without ever touching a palm to a man’s lower back

what if it was called magic the slathering and it was about lotions and ointments