My Mind Palace

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Finally home and settled, so here's an analysis of both Lemonade's lyrics AND the lyric video, and for shits and giggles, the physical album copies as well. There's also a spiritual bit at the end where I explain the numerology of the release date.

Before we even get 1 second into the lyric video, we're seeing speckles of green. It flashes by so fast you'd think we weren't meant to pick up on it, like it's hidden. Like how Louis' relationship with Harry is hidden.

This was really hard to screenshot, but Louis' name also flashes in green, showing how hiding his relationship affects him, how hiding his relationship is hiding a part of his true self.

We can also see the lemons flashing in green, almost making them look like limes. Little hidden flashes of green amongst an otherwise very yellow video are a persistent theme that highlight how keeping Larry a secret is woven into everything he does and every word he sings. It's especially poignant that this is being conveyed through a LYRIC video, really pushing that his lyrics are full of double meaning and laced with references for those willing to look.

Before the lemons, there's flashes of a few different symbols including his ? one, but I'm gonna save that for people smarter than me to crack.

"She got me wasted, the way she's making me lie"

Insane opening line. We get an intro full of seemingly normal visuals, laced with hidden flashes of green that are really hard to spot and screenshot, and then we open with a line about having to lie.

The way "wasted" has some letters reversed in the video makes me think it has a double meaning. Obviously wasted means drunk, but since it's the lying that's supposedly making him "wasted" I think it's moreso meant to be interpreted as Louis feeling not like himself.

When you're drunk, you're in an alternative state of mind. The same can be said for having to code switch into a lie every time you're in public for 15 years straight. I think "she" in this song, for once, doesn't refer to Harry, but rather the concept of stunting and being in a fake relationship with a woman. Having to lie about loving a woman puts him in an alternate state of mind he doesn't like.

The phrasing of "she's MAKING me lie" is really poignant too. He's not lying of his own free will, this other conceptual person is forcing his hand.

"Hung from her bracelet, her lucky charm if I like"

Okay I need to show you the lyric video for this part before I say anything.

"Hung" is formed as if it's literally hanging down from something, but notably, it's not hanging from the actual bracelet on the right side of the screen. I think it also has a double meaning, showing that he feels like HE is the one being hung, almost public execution style, when he has to go out with a woman he's not with and play pretend.

Especially since this part comes right after "she's got me wasted, the way she's making me lie, hung from a bracelet" There's actually a lyrical discrepancy here. The video says "hung from A bracelet" but the lyrics in the description say "hung from HER bracelet." The way he sings it could sound either way, but I think it sounds more like "a" bracelet, personally.

So, if he's not hung from HER bracelet, who is he being strung along by? The distinction of her her her, to "a bracelet" is really interesting. It makes the bracelet, the thing holding him and pulling his strings, a foreign entity we haven't yet seen displayed in the song. The industry, his management. It's a peek behind the curtains, as overt as he can get when they're watching his every move.

Now, the bracelet part in the screenshot is also interesting. It's on an incline, almost like a rollarcoaster. This ups and downs theme is gonna be prominent throughout the entire song, how he feels like he's always being tossed up and down, winning some and losing some, playing tug of war with the industry and with his het image.

"Her lucky charm if I like" As I believe @prettystylinson pointed out in my server, it sounds like he's singing "if I lie" during this part, another discrepancy between what's shown and what's said.

He could be the industry's lucky charm, hanging from their proverbial bracelet, if he likes. But he doesn't like. He would have to lie to do that, because nothing about his true self fits what the industry wants of him. He'd have to subtly lie to fulfill the demands bestowed upon him.

Right after this lyric before the next one starts, at exactly 28 seconds, we get this flash of full screen blue and what looks to be distorted green smiley faces on either side. This is VERY blue, very off from the yellow theme. It's a glimpse into his mind, his true self behind what he's meant to show, one of many metaphors for the way he and Harry signal in quiet ways when they're not allowed to be overt.

"Symptoms of coming to life"

LOT to unpack here. I added a screenshot of the description to show the lyrical discrepancies in case it gets edited later. The description says "symptoms OF coming to life" and yet the video says "symptoms ARE coming to life."

Firstly, the bluegreening continues. Blue backdrop, aka Louis overall, with the yellow centerpiece of what he's supposed to present, aka a plus sign, a positive image, but that positive image is defined as hetero. Green briefly peeking out from behind the plus sign, Harry, and Larry Stylinson, peeking out in the corners of everything Louis does because he doesn't want to hide.

Secondly, the lyrics. If you listen, it 100% sounds like "OF coming to life." But I'll humour both.

If we follow the video "symptoms ARE coming to life" we can tie it back to "she's got me wasted." This idea of being drunk on love, being someone's someone, all that cute shit that the song is meant to portray on surface level.

But if we go with "symptoms OF coming to life" the meaning darkens. No longer are these symptoms a natural progression of the drunk metaphor for romance, but rather showing how Louis feels about the code switching into his het persona. Like he's being told this is how you're supposed to live, but he's experiencing bad side effects, symptoms, anyway. These stunts, this image, are symptoms of his public persona coming to life, after the bracelet metaphor explained how he's being pulled by strings higher than him.

"No point in thinking it twice"

No point in thinking it twice... the lyrics portraying on surface level that there's no point in second-guessing the public image. It almost feels like the industry talking to Louis, saying "these are just the symptoms of bringing your career to life! don't overthink it!"

But on "thinking it" we see the WHOLE screen flash in green. He's always thinking about Harry, when he's doing these stunts and playing het Louis.

On "twice" we see the word itself double and come together, sucking in the green around it and turning the whole screen blue spare the faint green outline around the word. Like he's concealing all of his truth into double meanings, which we can see he's been doing this whole song. If you think it twice, if you put critical thought into the double meanings, you can see what they don't want you to see.

"She got me wasted, the way I’m chasing the night"

Remember what I said about wasted being a double meaning for feeling outside of his usual self when he's playing the role of het Louis? The way I'm chasing the night... when he's chasing this party boy pub sort of lifestyle, he's losing himself, feeling both literally and metaphorically wasted.

And the "she" is once again the concept of the people forcing him into this image in the first place. The industry has him feeling fucked up, encouraging this party boy image that he feels is incongruent to who he really is.

This part visually is notable. The lyrics of "the way I'm chasing the night" are centered on a bright yellow circle, with trippy wobbly lines circling it. I think this is a metaphor for the hypnotherapy One Direction had to do while under Syco. That was the first step of many in the "media training" (re: brainwashing) they were subject to.

Maybe hypnotherapy was used again when pushing his party boy image in the later 1D years? I'd expand, but I don't want to bark up the wrong tree too loudly with a theory people might not find comfortable or easy to digest. So, moving on.

"I don’t wanna go home, am I losing control"

Another violent nod to hypnotherapy and brainwashing, but also the more broad lost sense of identity that comes with playing a fake persona for 15 years straight. He says he doesn't wanna go home, to where Harry is, and then follows it with "am I losing control?" Is this public persona getting out of his hands? Is he forgetting who he really is amidst all the chaos?

When it repeats, we see "I don't wanna go home" drenched in green, making the link of "home" and "Harry." This part of the song is talking about that loss of identity and how the lines blur sometimes, feeling scared of all these symptoms of managing a public image so separate to who he really is.

BUT WAIT, THERE'S ANOTHER LYRIC DISCREPANCY! In the description, "am I losing control" repeats both times after "I don't wanna go home" but in the video and audio, Louis sings "I don't wanna go home" twice in a row on that second repetition, not singing the repetition of "am I losing control."

It's almost like that "think it twice" repetition of his fears verbalized had to be hidden, so only the people really looking would see it in the description. Ever wonder why a LYRIC VIDEO repeats the lyrics in the description if they're on screen? Yeah. It's on purpose, and every discrepancy is intentional.

"She’s so bitter, she’s so sweet"

BROOOOOOO. Okay, I need to calm down. Stay with me now.

"She's so bitter" is all yellow, the colour he's highlighted as being assigned to what he's supposed to portray, what's safe to show publicly. It's bitter, it's not enjoyable. "She's so sweet" is drenched in green and blue, showing how sweet his real self and real relationship is, compared to something fake like McDumblinson.

The yellow is so much easier to see and screenshot than the bluegreen, again showing how it takes a careful eye to notice the subtle details he wants people to decipher.

"Lemonade, lemonade"

When life gives you bitter lemons, make sweet lemonade. He's been dealt a rough hand he doesn't enjoy, but he's finding the sweetness in it anyway. He's looking on the bright side, of still having his relationship and private life, even if he has to play stupid games and suck on bitter lemons to the public.

This song, overall, is about his bittersweet relationship to the music industry. On one hand, it's allowed him to realize his dream of making it as a singer, and he wouldn't have even met Harry if he hadn't auditioned for X-Factor. But on the other hand, this industry is cruel and bitter, and pulls on his strings to make him dance the way they want.

He's always in this tug of war, bitter vs. sweet, slap and soothe, trying to gain his autonomy back wherever he can while it's constantly being stripped away and micromanaged by the dickheads who own him.

"A little taste, is all I need, lemonade, lemonade"

Most of "a little taste is all I need" is once again in yellow, but it's specked briefly with green. He only needs a little sweetness, a little leverage to be himself, to stay sane. It can't be all bitterness 24/7 or he'd lose his fucking mind, but a little taste of his real relationship and real self is all he needs to stay grounded.

It almost comes across as a realization in the wake of his fears of losing control. He won't lose control of who he is and what's real if he stays grounded in those brief speckled moments of reality.

Here's the rest of the lyrics from the description, just in case anything gets edited while I'm typing this.

In the music interim before the next verse starts, we see SO MUCH GREEN. As if to say when he's not publicly 'singing' (re: being a musician, being a public figure) he's drenched in his reality. He's grounded in what's actually real in those quiet moments where nothing is happening. A reprieve.

"She got me waking, at times that I’ve never seen"

Because "wasted" was a double meaning, I also believe "waking" has a double meaning. Think how "symptoms of coming alive" is about the side effects of bringing to life a fake public persona. He's waking up into times, not literal clock times but times of life, that he's never seen. He's coming to life into this persona that's living in a world he doesn't live in, this heteronormative world he's long since ditched in his personal life.

But this stunt, this het image, has him playing a public persona that isn't him, in a world he doesn't fit into.

"Bright yellow spaceship, might make me start to believe"

I'M SCREAMING. Bright yellow space ship, we've established yellow is the colour of the industry and the fake persona. In the visuals we see almost a nod to alien abductions, showing how the industry hookwinked and essentially kidnapped him. "Might make me start to believe" is again a nod to the brainwashing and how the industry wants him to believe the lies because it's easier, more convenient for them.

Also, the outline being red, a nod to how he's used red to convey power in previous music videos. See my Walls MV analysis for more on that.

"Symptoms are stuck on repeat, no point in trying to leave"

The industry speaking to him again. The industry kidnapped him and brainwashed him, and now he's experiencing all these symptoms on repeat as he's stuck in this cycle of closeting and lying, but he's being convinced there's no point in trying to leave. Either because he values his career, or more likely, because it's a thinly veiled threat. Don't leave, don't even try to leave, you don't know what'll happen if you do.

This yellow drenched plus sign again, with the symptoms repeating, and the red danger outline. Showing how trapped he feels by his "positive" public image. Maybe a nod to the band days specifically, pre bbg when the squeaky clean thing was huge for their branding. I think this song overall nods to many different eras of his career, and how the repeated cycles have persisted throughout.

Y'know how I just said this line sounds like the industry threatening him? And then he shows chevrons... dude, Liam was murdered. We already knew that, but this is extremely relevant to that topic. He knows Liam was murdered, likely because he was going to disobey his image and open his mouth. I've mentioned before how Liam had a tell-all 1D documentary in the works that got mysteriously cancelled just weeks before his death, and now Louis is alluding to Liam's death being because he questioned or disobeyed the industry that owned him... man.

"She got me waking, it’s doing something to me, I don’t wanna go home"

The public persona got him waking up to a reality that isn't his own, it's doing something to him, and now he's back to questioning reality and not wanting to go home to his real reality. The brainwashing cycle. This whole song is very cyclical, which makes sense for Louis and his spirituality. He's always in a push and pull when I do tarot readings on him.

Doing something to me, but the visuals show him and Harry. He can't say "it's fucking with my sense of reality in regards to my relationship with Harry" so he's says "it's doing something to me" with the visuals clarifying that he means him and Harry.

Then on "I don't wanna go home" we see the spiralling words again. The brainwashing really is a repeated cycle, the symptoms are repeated, he's always being pulled into the bitterness and then he fights his way back to the sweetness. Lemonade.

The chorus repeats, with the same yellow on "she's so bitter" and green on "she's so sweet." Lemonade, lemonade also has the same visuals as earlier. It's a repetition of the cycle he's in, how even when he starts to question reality and lose his judgment, he re-grounds in what's true. A little taste is all he needs.

"Is it only human, to escape into delusion"

On "is it only" we see the bluegreen, on "human" we see the industry yellow, and on "escape into delusion" we see it flickering between both colour palettes.

So we've established that the industry presents Louis maintaining his public image as "being alive" or "waking up." He's asking himself if it's truly human to escape into the delusion of this image he knows deep down isn't really him, but god it'd be so much easier if it was, to be able to let go of his reality and relationship and sink into the image every professional around him is forcing him to portray anyway.

Would it make him more real to accept the lies? Brainwashing.

"And if I should try to prove it, would I win or would I lose it"

OH MY GOD I need to stay calm.

If he tries to prove his reality, through those subtle outlined bluegreen hints, would he win? Or would he lose it. "It" being his relationship, sense of reality, sense of self. Is it worth it to try and signal, if the punishment in more brainwashing and more forced stunting?

He's asking if fighting is still even worth it. It's his fear talking, the same fear that made him question if he was losing control. Fear is powerful and scary. He has to stay grounded in reality to combat it.

I'm so curious how this symbol will play out. As the music echos out, we see a psychedelic swirling of green and yellow, and all those random symbols from the beginning that I can't begin to decipher myself.

We see a literal hypnosis spiral, more lemons, and more flickering between green and yellow, reality and delusion, and then the whole screen turns into a spiral of yellow, luring us in. Luring our belief into the delusion that he's straight. But with speckles of green for those looking closely.

It's as if he made his decision, to keep signalling and keep trying to show us reality, no matter how hard the industry tries to drown his voice out.

We end on the chorus again, the same bitter and sweet dichotomy, reminding both us and him that he's still hanging on, still fighting, and still not completely lost to the delusions the industry has built around his name. After the chorus, we get more of the green washed lemons, ending with that goddamn question mark again.

How did we get here?

OKAY, next I want to talk about the album flavours itself. Like, the physical versions you can buy. As @prettystylinson I believe also pointed out, the yellow in some of these are pretty clearly not yellow, but instead a lime green, so more bluegreening:

I find the overall colour themes really interesting. We have blue for Louis, green for Harry, yellow for stunting/the industry, and red for power/danger in the wrong hands as he's established all the way back in Walls.

The release date of January 23rd is also interesting, because it's 01/23. The numerology of 01/23 is 6, one of Louis' spiritual numbers in the 369 formation, and the numerology of 01/23/2025 is also 6. 6 + 6 is 12, the number of tracks on the album. He's putting a lot of spiritual energy into this album, lot's of numbers he feels connected to, but subtly hidden in the release date since it can't always be too obvious.

I've been saying for a while I reckon this album will have a lot about being trapped by the industry and fighting against it, and analyzing this song has only confirmed that suspicion for me.

How did he get here, in this industry? Well, by being kidnapped, brainwashed, and forced to lie. By being stuck in a web of bitterness and sweetness, a tug of war game between reality and delusion.

For anyone who hasn't seen them before, Hidden Search Operators are handy tricks you can use when you're either searching or filtering AO3.

summary: string is a generic way of explaining that you can search AO3 for a specific word that appears in a summary. You can do this from the search bar in the header, from the Any Field box at the top of the Advanced Search form, or from the Search Within Results box at the bottom of the filter menu.

Examples:

summary: Bruce

summary: "Bruce Banner"

summary: Bruce OR summary: Banner OR summary: Hulk

You need to put quotation marks around your search term if it is more than one word. The quotes make sure that the site searches for those two words together.

The other two operators listed work best in the Search Within Results box.

expected_number_of_chapters: 1 will return results where every fic has only 1 chapter currently posted.

You can use expected_number_of_chapters: -1 if you want results where every fic has more than 1 chapter currently posted.

I mean, there is a secret way to filter for primary ship if that's what you're looking for?

You need to install a userscript in your browser, so if you're a mobile user you'll want to use Firefox instead of Chrome (Chrome doesn't allow users to install scripts in the mobile version of the app).

The script is called AO3 Only Show Primary Pairing and what it does is filter out fics that don't have your indicated ship as the first (or only) relationship tagged.

If you've never installed a userscript before, click or tap on the ? in green next to where it says Install this script. That'll take you through the process of doing it for the first time.

The code itself is commented, so you should be able to to just drop your info into it. They give you an example ship in the relationship field and you can add in characters as well (or instead) if you prefer.

You can also adjust how many tags it looks at. Default, it just looks at the first 1 but if you want it to look at the first 2 or 3, you can just adjust the numbers.

Edit: also I just realized this is a branch of this post that doesn't have my correction. To remove oneshots, the syntax is actually

World building? They got it, they do it, and they have parred it down to the most meaningful bits and pieces in order to make you feel like this is a real place.

Characterization? They have fleshed out the most meaningful aspect of creating a character in a few sentences. And, boy, do they ever do this! All the time! Like it's nothing at all!

Intriguing plot? There are stories that require 34587560874958643769809543 pages worth of information to ensure the plot is consistent, good, and worth your interest but apparently these shitters don't need that. They've got every trick in the book right at their fingertips ready to go to make sure their 3 page story keeps you hooked the entire time. And they don't even sweat it, the unsaid compliments the said so flawlessly in most of these works that a fifteen-minute read can spawn hours worth of discussion.

And holy FUCK, every word is used economically. Every phrase so fundamental it can barely be changed without altering the entire story. Every line of dialogue feels so natural, but contains such important information that you're locked in. Zero waste novelists wish they were on the level of a short-story writer, and we're not giving the short story writer the dues they're owed for this skillset.

Some of us are war veterans of Stan twitter, what’s app groups, instagram, we heart it, and pinterest. We’ve seen it all. Yesterday, on the day of Liam’s funeral, so many other platforms were rife with pictures of Liam’s loved ones at their lowest, tumblr was reblogging pictures of him alive and well. We were sharing facts about his charitable donations, sharing lyrics we had just remembered he wrote, comforting each other in tags, coagulating the gaping wound of his loss with our clotting, blogging bodies. I know it sounds gross, but we’re fucking organismal. How long have we been at this? How many people have we met? How many people have we met even just after Liam’s passing? Look around you in this crazy blogosphere ecosystem and you’ll see it’s full of shoulders to cry on. We’re kind to each other. We lift each other up.

Moreso, we actually genuinely care about the boys.

other platforms are invested in celebrity worship, in finding the grieving men we’ve grown up with and demanding postable pictures. we’re in the business of archiving, remembering, holding. I think that we see Niall, Harry, Louis, Liam, and Zayn as full people. Our fan identity is based on wanting them to be well, to unleash their creativity, to be safe and to know they always have people in their corner.

We all agree that we all wished for a private funeral where only Liam's true people attended and where those people were free to be themselves, but this wasn't it. Maybe because Liam's family wanted a respectful public goodbye or, most likely, because they knew they couldn't avoid it (the fact syco's people was there made me question if the family had actually a say in keeping the ceremony totally private).

So, paps were allowed but with strict rules and the details weren't disclosed until the very last. They did everything necessary to keep the dignity of the ceremony. And they did it.

In this scenario, I want to point out at what the boys did: they discussed it prior and they decided to show there separately and to interact the less possibile. The fact that there were paps imposed them to wear their TM trenchcoats but they did it in silence, they maintained the lowest profile possible. They sacrified their grieve to not offer any kind of side to paps for taking pictures of the "reunion", knowing too well how disgusting outlets were waiting for nothing but that. They didn't give anyone any chance to make it about One Direction; they made it only about Liam. They gave him all the respect and dignity he deserved that they only could give him, because they only truly loved him. (Apart his family, of course). This was the biggest final act of love they could do for him, and they did.

Ohana means family, and family means nobody is left behind

Another mention goes to Cheryl and the way she protected Bear. They very likely had their private moment and she kept him away from paps, disgusting people and speculations. I could think what I think about her as a woman in regard of her "relationship" with Liam, but as a mother she has my whole true respect.

And last, to Karen and Geoff. As a parent myself, I cannot even image what kind of devastation has been living in their hearts for all this time; and yet, just because I am a mother, I can perfectly imagine that. I have never stopped thinking at them since that cursed day, and the dignity they showed is something I admire deeply. I don't think I would be able to, if I were in their shoes.

Karen, Geoff, Ruth, Nicola, Bear, Harry, Louis, Niall and Zayn: I hope you can feel our love, I hope you can feel our warm hug. You are not alone in the grief; we'll do our best to keep Liam's memory alive and teach the world what beautiful man he was, and we'll do our best to keep his legacy alive, avoiding his death was invain. Just show us the path, and we'll follow it.