your twenties are Not about saving money or networking. your twenties are about rinsing your heart in rice water. wearing big jackets. smelling night blooming jasmines. giving up on being sexy and embracing flaw and rot and thus inadvertently becoming sexy. planting cabbages and cauliflowers inside your internal landscape and making a garden in you instead of letting your internal landscape be a stormy sea tossing you around. cartwheeling in spirit if not person when you make a friend. and letting your eyebrows live a little.

(gripping the sink) yes i deserve a spring yes i deserve a spring yes i deserve a spring yes i deserve a spring yes i deserve a spring yes i deserve a spring yes i deserve a spring yes i deserve a spring yes i deserve a spring yes i deserve a spring yes i deserve a spring yes i deserve a spring yes i deserve a spring yes i deserve a spring

I am asking you to endure it.

I am aware that this request is fundamentally selfish. I can offer no justification for it, no argument in its favor. It is simply the outcome I desire to see the most. So I am asking you

im always like hehe im so smart i will avoid shame by never doing anything ever but then i feel ashamed of not living and it turns out i didn't escape any sort of discomfort i just traded it in for a less rewarding kind