paradise

- Well, Idk. It's complicated.

"What does that mean?", you asked.

If you don't eat, st☆rve, fast, eat just one or two low calorie meals, you aren't happy. But you love this feeling of emptyness inside your stomach, but secretly you hate it too. It's a toxic love and hate thing. Like a toxic relationship. Just with food and your body.

And then, you go on a scale, you see the numbers went down. This makes you incredibly happy, but how long?

It's a happyness for some seconds, maybe minutes. You feel this euphoria and you love it.

But after this seconds or minutes, you aren't happy about it anymore.

- "why?"

Because you think how the weight gets more down. It isn't enough. What are some grams? Or a pound? You must lose more. But let's be real.

- it is never enough.

It's a vicious circle.

And then you think "I'm not happy, maybe I should eat more? Maybe this is a bad idea?"

And maybe you try it. Eat a full meal. "Don't count the calories!", you think. But it's already to late. You count it.

With or without counting, you feel disgusted. Disgusted about yourself, of the food that you just eat. The feeling of an full stomach, what you loved once. But now, you hate it.

And then all of this repeat. Again, again, again.

It's like a castle without exit.

the taste it’s temporary. what did you solve after you ate it?

only calories and fat will remain.