Sing to me, I am not doing well

Everyone warns you agaist going to the supermarket hungry, but nobody tells you about the dangers of going there too full: I do not want any of these things, for I will never require any food again at all!

people will read books they Do Not Like™ and then wonder why they hate reading

Do you know how fucking miserable it is to watch a group of 11 year old girls obsessively check their skin on pocket mirrors? And hear them talk about how they need new products to fix “imperfections” created by tiktok?? I just taught them last week what the OCEAN TIDES are. I helped one of them spell the word “conduction” yesterday. They just learned what the atmosphere is. Who the fuck is telling these literal children that they need eye cream??!! When I catch you!!!

oh leonid, we're really in it now

Btw everytime someone says "This can't be a genocide, there are still women giving birth / there's water pump in this neighbourhood / there's a school here / there's a hospital there" the only thing this person is saying is "I'm not yet satisfied with the level of destruction. I'm not yet satisfied with the amount of death."

Everyone gives Sherlock Holmes a hard time about being mean about Watson's writing, but honestly imagine you told your roommate "sure, you can write up an account of my work for the newspaper," thinking it would be like, about the murder, but then he publishes it and it's 90% about you, as a person, and it's a huge hit and now everyone in London knows that you hoard newspapers and do cocoaine when you're depressed. Because I think you'd be little miffed too.

missing & longing & yearning & aching

hey, can we talk for a second? it’s about your girlfriend. yeah, she’s great. no, yeah, I agree. It’s just that… she seems really devoted to you? Like really devoted. Almost as if you were the sole, fragile line mooring her to the shores of humanity. No, that’s not romant—ugh. Listen. Me and the girls, we’re worried you might be the last good thing to happen to her and that were some tragedy to inevitably befall you, she would tear the gods from their thrones and dye the infinite western seas wine-dark with their ichor. Do you think you could introduce her to a new hobby or something? we don’t want to have to argue over what color “wine-dark” is supposed to be