how to love a mortal: i. stay away from him. gods do not love. you are a god. do not love something that will someday die. ii. small-boned, soft-hearted, voice smooth as stones. when he breaks his ankle you think to yourself: oh, how easily the world wounds him. oh, how easily he bleeds. iii. he kisses you first. he is thirteen and human and he will someday die. do not kiss him back. iv. you say: mother, can a god love a boy? thetis sharpens her teeth. she says: well, what good has love ever done? v. you were born a weapon but you kiss him anyway. you kiss him because he is beautiful and temporary and you do not yet understand what it means to kill. vi. making love to him feels like being remade, doesn’t it? here, the knife in his mouth. here, the starlight in his eyes. here, his sweat on your tongue like salt of the river Styx. vii. in this dream, you kill Agamemnon. in this dream, there is no war. in this dream,  he lives forever. viii. he puts your clothes on and you forget he is mortal. he puts your clothes on and he forgets it, too. ix. when the world burned, your mother whispered: you knew, didn’t you? i told you not to love something  that will someday die. x. you do not say: i knew, but i was selfish. i am a god. it is my nature.

i had to throw that plant away