𝙔𝙀𝘼𝙍 𝙊𝙁 𝙏𝙃𝙀 𝘾𝙐𝙋

‧ ᯓ ☦︎ ▒ . ❘❘❘     ──── ilya’s brows furrow , but only for a moment , as / @hollandeir thanks him .

it makes no sense , to be thanked for this . in fact , ilya feels like he is the one who should be thanking shane . his presence here and the trust required to allow someone this close to both your physical body and also the private moments that shane wasn’t willing to share with everyone was enough to make ilya go gooey in the middle . shane was targeted and hurt just for existing and ilya has an inkling that he wouldn’t want just anyone knowing about it , considering he himself didn’t even want to divulge the incident to ilya . letting ilya know him and know the happenings in his world was a privilege . to care for him in this way was all he could do to quell the growing feelings that threatened to explode each time they were around each other . 

❛  good choice . you noticed the album on the bus ?  ❜ ilya watches as shane lifts the jersey , his jersey . he murmurs and groans as the ice is moved and adjusted across the bruise and ilya finds himself gulping involuntarily . fuck . fuck . how could this be his dream come true and worst nightmare all at the same time ? no more than a few days before , ilya laid here himself , hand drifting across his body as he pictured shane in similar positions , mewing and squirming around . only this time , he could do nothing to quench his thirst for shane . instead , after feeling a stir in his stomach , ilya sits on the edge of his bed , halfway on shane’s leg and turned towards him . swallowing hard and biting his lip in concentration , ilya continues to move the frozen bag across shane’s muscles . helping shane was not even a second thought . if he could not get back at jason and his teammates , he could do this instead . ──── ❛ of course . ❜

something happens then , instinctively , as if he was made to do it . ilya’s hand reaches to graze along shane’s abdomen , traipsing delicately with the back of his fingernails . his eyes follow his fingers , taking in every inch of shane there is to take in . they make their way across shane’s chest , up around his neck , drinking in the soft skin and allowing himself to be consumed by the feeling . up they go , dancing along shane’s jaw and stopping when they reach his perfect freckles . pointer finger now runs across the bridge of his nose , mapping every single dot in his constellation on his cheeks . ilya is drunk off shane , halfway mad at the idiots that hurt him but more busy being devoured by shane’s existence .      ────      ❛ i cannot imagine someone wanting to hurt you . you are so good . i think is you that makes me nicer . ❜

the freezing cold of the fabric soothes sharp stings into dull aches, shane finally letting go of the jersey's hem and crossing his forearms right over his eyes, face completely obscured for a short moment as he lets himself relax enough to unclench his tense muscles. it helps to focus on the music, newer songs filling shane's ears and prompting him to pay better attention to these small hints of who ilya is. slowly, carefully, he lets his arms uncross and slip back to his sides, granting more opportunity to look up at ilya in all his unconditional benevolence.

the warm fingertips that brush against his bare skin have shane's breath hitching, body frozen as he tries his best not to shiver. it is the most affectionate gesture anyone has bestowed upon him, each second that it lingers feeling like an awakening of sorts. no one has ever touched shane like this; like he's a delicate piece of art that must be cherished. embarrassingly, it makes his eyes well up with tears and deep down he knows that in the depths of his solitude, this moment is one he'll think of the most.

˖ ‧ ᯓ ☦︎ ▒ . ❘❘❘     ──── when / @hollandeir shows ilya the live footage of anya , he nearly falls to his knees .

❛  uhm . i did . when i married your ass . is part of the whole thing . and you are the one who asked me ! ❜ both from his sweet girl relaxing at home but also because his husband was so thoughtful he felt like his chest was going to implode . when shane brings the phone up to ilya’s face to give him a view of anya sleeping on the couch , ilya presses a quick kiss to the side of shane’s head . his thoughtfulness was meltworthy , ilya could’ve fallen to his knees in sweet anguish right there on the sidewalk from how considerate his husband was . things like this , on top of many other things that shane did in silence to provide for ilya , was one of the many reasons that ilya knew shane was his other half . he was selfless when it came to ilya , evident in their rare night out . 

as his husband grabs his hand , ilya nearly jumps up and down with excitement at the thought of going out to eat after having just finished up at the club . the night was cool , and it reminded ilya of all of the nights he had spent with the raiders , popping into clubs and finishing the night at some shitty diner to soak up all of the alcohol they had consumed . he felt nineteen again , only this time , the levity of being with the man he loved made it even better . he could stand there , hold his hand , and not give a shit about what anyone had to say . besides , they looked too good for anyone to say anything . ilya notices shane shivering a bit and wraps his arm around his husband’s shoulder , still holding his hand and snuggling him close . his other hand slips in his pocket , trying not to be smug about the having the hottest , most considerate man on his arm , wearing his wedding band , offering him food . 

when they near the edge of the sidewalk , ilya quickly checks back and forth quickly before bolting out into the street to cross the busy intersection . he felt like he was high , probably a little tipsy from the vodka and definitely intoxicated by shane’s presence . laughing the whole way , knowing shane would not like his haphazard aversion to safety by not using the crosswalk , ilya beams and resituates his husband in the crook of his arm . ──── ❛  holy fuck . i love you so fucking much . ❜ nuzzling into the side of shane's face , ilya realizes , momentarily , that this is what they had been chasing . the years of pain and loneliness and hiding was worth it . every second of fighting could be done again if it meant he would get to feel like this all of the time . shane was the answer . freedom was the answer .    ────     ❛  what were you thinking ? diner food ? or something nicer ? what sounds good to you , malysh ? ❜

ilya's mad dash into the road after checking for imminent danger has shane's heart leaping into his throat, too focused on ilya and how happy he sounds to scold or dole out a warning about pedestrian safety. a giggle of his own is ripped from his throat as he's tugged along and forced to keep up with his husband. not that it is a challenge whatsoever. the declaration of love shane receives at the other side of the street along with the small demonstration of physical affection is what ultimately wins him over. perhaps he's becoming a pushover in their older age. or maybe he just really needs to eat something and stop letting his tipsiness dictate his mood, no matter how good it is.

‧ ᯓ ☦︎ ▒ . ❘❘❘     ──── as the plush bear is placed in his hands , ilya holds it gingerly , only looking at / @hollandeir with thankful eyes as he tries not to be overcome with the fluttery feelings that have come over him .

it was so simple , probably mass produced , and about ten identical copies hung along with the other prizes . but something about the one that sat in his palms , the one shane had won for him , made his heart swell . such a stupid little bear , with big stupid eyes , and dark fur . fuck . ilya was going to put it in his bed later that night and he was going to look at it and he was going to think of shane with his eyes that matched the bear’s perfectly . this couldn’t have been some evil plan on shane’s part , why would he want ilya to think about him like that ? plenty of things ilya could chalk up to things that friends just did , like the finger that pokes his arm now . but this ? why did this feel so different ? 

Iiya only snaps out of the moment when shane’s voice finally breaks him . he thinks that shane’s voice could pull him down from any height that his brain took him to , even in the loud flurry of the festival . ilya nods his head , swallows down his nerves that he built up himself thinking about shane potentially having feelings for him back , and finally manages to pull his gaze from the bears . he tucks it under his arm like something that needed protection but quickly grabs shane’s wrist in the same movement . needing to get some of his energy out now , giddy from the time spent in shane’s company , ilya runs the two across the crowd to the game they had somehow both settled on for ilya . that shouldn’t feel different either , but of course , it does . 

❛ why do you bet this ? because i am so big and strong ? ❜ ilya slaps his own dollar down on the counter , before handing the bear over to shane in exchange for the balls from the game worker . ──── ❛ take care of him while i play . let me show you how to do this , kid . ❜ ilya stretches his neck , then crosses his arms over his chest , and makes a good show of extending his chest to warm up for the game that he already knows he is going to win . it can’t hurt to flirt , to let shane know that it was okay to look without saying anything at all . ilya cocks his arm back , breathing in sharply , and sends the ball full force with all of his strength at the bottles on the shelf . it felt like child's play as all of the bottles toppled down in a boisterous pile of clattering glass .      ────      ❛ oхуенно ! ❜ the smile on his face hurts his cheeks , happy to show shane he was just as good as him at these games but also happy to win shane a prize in return . ilya motions to the blonde , curly dog on the shelf , motioning for shane to step up and take his bounty .

hugging the plush to his chest, shane watches ilya hurl one of the balls at the bottles, no doubt in his mind nor heart that ilya will win. it's a funny sensation, one that starts in his chest and travels downward to his stomach, releasing more butterflies than shane knows what to do with. he realizes, as he shouts excitedly along with ilya, that the bulk of this overwhelming feeling is pride. it's the same feeling he gets when he watches ilya play hockey, even though they're always on opposite teams. to not only know someone so skilled who pushes him to be a better player, but to get the privilege of seeing a different side of them like this makes shane the happiest he's been in a long, long time.

‧ ᯓ ☦︎ ▒ . ❘❘❘     ──── ilya gathers his supplies for / @hollandeir on the double , ( a can of ginger ale , a bag of peas from the freezer , a wash cloth from his bathroom , a container of ibuprofen ) anxious to return to the dreamily bruised boy in his room . 

he can hear the music circling the room as he pads down the hall , all together smitten by shane’s choice — the album that he had shown him on the bus . ilya wasn’t all too aware at how perceptive shane was when it came to subjects regarding ilya , but ilya felt touched that shane had decided to continue listening to songs he recommended . shane wanted to know more about all of the parts of ilya that he had yet to show anyone yet , including his music taste . and without his own real interest in music , it moved ilya to see shane going on his own journey of discovery and still picking something related to him . trying to hide his smile as he walks in , ilya stops dead in his tracks at the event unfolding before him . the smiles breaks into a ridiculous grin , following by the soft bell of his laugh in response . 

❛ oh . ohkeigh . i see what is happening . i have mr . funny - man in my room . ❜       sauntering over to the boy , ilya places all the items down on his bedside table before collecting four painkillers from the bottle . cracking open the ginger ale , he turns back toward shane , hand outstretched with the pills in his palm and open can in his other . ──── ❛ he is very lucky i am so charmed by his jokes or i would yell at him for messing around while he was hurt . his russian needs some work still , i think . but we have time . ❜  he’s still laughing , pushing the other’s shoulder in adoring defeat . shane could have laid there and not said a word and ilya would still be delighted . but shane was so selfless , he was more worried about making ilya laugh than he was about his injuries .       ────      ❛ take the pills , funny - man . then lay down . ❜

ilya returns to the side table , wrapping the frozen bag of peas in a washcloth . suddenly , he gulps , aware that he potentially might get to see the curves of shane’s abdomen again , albeit covered in bruises . ilya worries his lower lip between his teeth , determined to bury the thoughts before they can unravel him , and trying not to let his dick think for him for once in his life . whereas ilya typically finds a strong footing in all endeavors of his life , instead of spinning gracefully on his heel , ilya almost trips over his feet as he turns back to the boy in his bed . holy shit , shane was in his bed , Черт... он здесь, и он так близко .        ────      ❛ which hurts worse ? face or ribs ? ❜

❛ i wasn't messing around! ❜ shane protests as he removes his shoes and lies back on the bed. ❛ you told me i could pick some music, so i did. it's not my fault the closet was open and this thing was right in my face. ❜ he slowly lifts the jersey up past his chest as he relaxes further into the unmade bed, wincing out a small "ribs" as he does so. vulnerability tinges the singular syllable, shane's expression a little sheepish. there are parts of him that continue to be embarrassed over what happened, even if he knows his mistreatment couldn't have gone on forever without him snapping one day as he had. everyone reaches their limit at some point.

‧ ᯓ ☦︎ ▒ . ❘❘❘     ──── ilya’s mouth snaps shut as soon as he realizes it has fallen open . / @hollandeir had called her eleanor . 

he wanted to take the book from shane’s hand , throw it across the room , and straddle his lap as their lips collided . but elodie was still there , sitting on the couch , watching as shane turns his attention to her . as the incorrect name falls from his lips , elodie’s head snaps over to shane , eyes growing narrow as she manages to grumble out , ( " it’s elodie . and anyway , i should go too . my friends are picking me up . " )  . and as fast as she can stand , clearly shocked by shane’s words , she is making her way towards the stairs . perturbed by the lack of reciprocation from ilya and nobody immediately fawning over her presence , she turns before heading up the stairs , ( " ilya has a curfew too , just so you know . so . " ) her final attempt to assert her dominance fails flat as ilya shouts out to her .   ──── ❛ shane might stay the night so do not worry about us . ❜ the door to the basement slams behind her , leaving a waft of her perfume and ilya devastatingly embarrassed .     

falling back onto the floor so he’s laying horizontal on the rug , ilya’s hands go to cover his face in sheepish defeat . the last thing he was expecting was elodie flying down the stairs and attempting to make her presence known . it was clear that she thought he had a girl over , evident in her words , but she was instead met with shane . and there was no way elodie even considered shane was the person ilya was interested in , that they were anything more than friends , that they were both hard from touching each other wherever their hands wanted . the moment , now seemingly ruined , having been infiltrated by someone who was clearly also interested in ilya , seems so fragile . through his parted fingers , ilya manages to finally say something once his heart stops beating like a drum .          ────       ❛ i am so sorry . ❜ 

managing to prop himself up on his elbows , ilya looks over to shane on the couch . he really had dressed him , thrown him around the room , and attempted to cover their makeout in the guise of studying . he could’ve died right there in the whitaker’s basement , shirt half unbuttoned and cheeks red with worry .         ────       ❛ she was not supposed to be here . please . do not go . ❜ lifting himself from the floor , ilya , unmoored and nervous all over again , plops himself down next to shane . placing a tender hand on his knee , still covered by the blanket ( which ilya acknowledges was used to cover his arousal with a gentle scrunch of his fingers ) .          ────       ❛ i mean . i get it if you want to . but i was having very good time . i think we both were , yes ? ❜ attempting to crush the awkwardness , ilya’s eyebrows raise and his head bobs to nod to both of their groins . leaning in closer to shane , eyes dark and lashes fluttering , ilya whimpers ,         ────       ❛ if you need convinced , i thought it was really hot when you called her wrong name . were you jealous ? ❜

snapping the book in his hands shut and setting it aside on the arm of the couch, shane adjusts the blanket on his lap but does not remove it yet. his body has calmed down after the chaos of the moment, but he knows all it will take is one featherlight touch to get worked up again. ❛ what? why would i go? ❜ confusion flits across his features even as ilya gets up off the floor and joins him on the couch, eyes temporarily focusing on the hand that finds a home on his knee, shane swallowing hard when that same hand lightly teases. everything about ilya is so very distracting, shane already forgetting that they aren't alone up until he hears another door upstairs slam shut. not even that gets them to break apart this time, shane doing his best to look up at ilya instead of turning away, despite how fast his heart is racing. he doesn't want to miss anything.

˖ ‧ ᯓ ☦︎ ▒ . ❘❘❘     ──── melting down into the sheets as / @hollandeir continues to bare his heart , ilya just clings to his smaller frame tighter .

ilya’s hands find movement again , running along shane’s spine under his shirt and petting his hairline line like a kitten . it settles exactly as it should , the same as shane finding comfort in the hems of ilya’s clothes . to be entrusted with the truth of their friendship , their relationship , was not something ilya was going to take for granted . ilya knew he was not an open book either , ignoring and deflecting his emotions in turn for parties or sex was his modus operandi for most of his life . but something about being around one another gave them the security to be true . it was the only reason why ilya felt he could so suddenly unfold himself and tell shane how he felt . they were so similar , though so different . and nobody saw ilya in the way shane did . this gave voice to what ilya had been wanting to say — i like you . more than anything . just like you feel about me .

shane was anything but broken to ilya . at the very least , they were in the same boat . sure , ilya had hook ups with people in russia , but nothing was based off connection . it was based on a need to feel something , some semblance of control in his absurd life . for a while , ilya felt broken too . if the only high he could get was from a girl in a night club , then who was to say love could provide him anything at all ? as soon as he met shane , the thoughts of trying to sleep with other people left him mind . he no longer craved nights of chugging down vodka while he chain smoked out his window . he pined for this . to be held and to hold this boy from the small town he was placed in for his exchange program . the touch of his skin made ilya feel more alive than any interaction with anyone he had ever met . ilya swallows his own nerves again , pushing them down and deciding to be brave for the umpteenth time that night . there was nothing to lose at this point , and everything to gain .         ────       ❛ do not be nervous . i have never felt this way before either . i have never ... liked anyone . not like this . ❜

ilya buries his nose in the top of shane’s hair , inhaling the deep scent of his shampoo and skin and sweat and every particle of shane . he wanted to kiss him so bad , instead his nuzzles closer , feeling the softness of his hair against his nose and cheeks .         ────       ❛ i am also happy i am here . for the record , i did not think it was going to go like this . i did not think it would ever happen at all . i thought i was just going to have stupid crush and suffer for the rest of the school year . i hope i did not intrude . ❜

ilya's embrace is so warm and comforting that shane finds himself yawning, whereas moments ago he'd felt wide awake, energy replenished by the buzz of their shared confessions. he doesn't want to think about the fact that ilya will have to sneak back out of the house in the early morning hours, nor how he'll have to go tomorrow night without ilya this close to him again. for now, he will enjoy and appreciate each second spent in one another's company.

˖ ‧ ᯓ ☦︎ ▒ . ❘❘❘     ──── ilya lowers himself into the water with one hand holding onto / @hollandeir’s and the other on the edge of the tub , wedging himself perfectly between shane’s thighs . 

an audible sigh escapes from his parted , swollen lips as his body submerges in the warm water . forehead freshly kissed , he slides himself backwards to firmly press him back against shane’s chest . head tilting back , ilya’s half dried curls cushion him as he rests comfortably on shane’s shoulder . he loves this view , watching shane from this angle as they settle into the deep warmth of the tub . grateful for his boyfriend picking out a bathtub that accommodate their large frames , ilya groans again as the water soothes his muscles and sends goosebumps down his skin . turning his head to press kisses to shane’s jaw , ilya’s free hand find shane’s thigh under the bubbles , massaging it gently . the other guides his held hand to wrap his arm around his chest , holding their entwined fingers against his chest . ──── ❛ because . i do not want to cause you pain . only good things for my malysh . ❜

ilya knows shane is not fragile . sometimes , like ten minutes ago , shane purposefully liked to push his physical limits . ilya understood , he liked it too when his muscles ached from jackhammering into his boyfriend . or when his skin bruised in hidden spots with mouth shaped blots of purple that were sore for a few days . when ilya couldn’t have the one person he needed all of the time with him , this sensation was a close second . fingers could drift over the skin and the ache of memory could draw ilya back to these moments . his nose would fill with the scent of bubble bath and his chest would pound like his heart was in the same room with shane like it is now .       ────      ❛ i know you will not break . but i still like to check afterwards . trust and all of that boring stuff . ❜ 

bringing shane’s hand to his lips , ilya kisses his palm and each finger gently . as much as he did like to throw shane around , trust was what mattered most . how could shane express he wanted those things if he did not feel safe enough to ask ? and if ilya did not carefully caress him and tell him he was beautiful and good , then how would shane know nothing was ever meant to actually hurt ? this place they created after sex , where they existed in soft pinks and lips and sighs , was what they needed after they dropped from the highs of their pleasure . the physical comfort of the others body , the processing of what they had done , the love that continued to grow through trust , was all emotional reassurance to ilya that they were cared for and in control .       ────       ❛ plus . is a nice way to say thank you for letting me fuck you until you cried . you are the one who is always saying i am nice guy . ❜

and isn't this how it typically goes when they steal away some time to see each other, anyway? their reunions have always been a whirlwind of discarded clothing and hushed whispers, escalating to exasperated groans and declarations of love on whatever available surface they happen to be near during that visit. the only thing that has changed throughout more recent years is the sincerity of those declarations, their strengthened bond making all other aspects of their relationship follow suit. shane can't remember the last time he left ilya's company without telling him how much he loves him. selfishly, he hopes ilya can't remember either.

˖ ‧ ᯓ ☦︎ ▒ . ❘❘❘     ──── as they shuffle off the bus , ilya stuffs his hands in his hoodie pocket and falls in step with / @hollandeir . 

the rain mists over the pair and ilya wishes suddenly he had an umbrella . it would have been nice to stand closer to shane , to hold the umbrella over his head and protect him from the drizzle . the need to shield shane from outside forces grows each time they are together . from the unavoidable truths of the weather to the perpetrators of shane’s injuries , ilya could feel the walls of affection closing in on him more and more by the second . it was true that shane did not need protected , he did not ask for ilya to do this or feel this way , but he considers that maybe this is just what happens when you like someone . it is not normal to provide safe harbor for the ones for which you harbor feelings ? 

they head off down the street towards the whitaker’s and ilya turns to shane , charmed by his hood being up . bundled up in soft post game wear , shane’s freckles were alarmingly visible against the starkness of his skin . he looked like he had spent his life in sunshine , letting his skin tan while the speckles on his cheeks bloomed into something beautiful . ──── ❛ no . no . of course not . the whitaker’s are at a marriage retreat or something . and i do not not know about elodie , the whitaker’s daughter . she is probably with her friends . either way , they would not mind . we can just go to my room anyway . ❜ the daunting thought of shane being in the place that ilya slept made his skin turn warm . suddenly , the memory of whether his room was clean or dirty flew from his mind . god , it was probably a mess . there was an ash tray by the window , coke cans by his bedside , clothes probably littered the floor . maybe his black eye would stop him for seeing just how messy of a boy he was .

as they approach the house , ilya digs for his keys attached to his wallet chain . the lack of cars in the driveway prove his theories , they would be alone , and he tries not to look too nervous as he lets them inside the mudroom . motioning shane to follow him down the stairs by grabbing his hand gently after kicking off his wet shoes , ilya begins the descent to his bedroom . it wasn’t as bad as he remembered . perhaps past ilya had the foresight to keep his room tidied enough for company , even though he had no clue shane would be visiting . his plaid sheets were askew under his comforter and a few pairs of sweats were on the floor in haphazard piles .  ──── ❛ sorry . is a bit of a mess … sit on the bed , i will get you ice . ❜ ilya pads off down the hall to the storage room off the garage where the drink fridge sits , yelling out to his guest .        ────        ❛ you could pick music too , if you wanted . cd's and records are by the tv . do you want something to drink ? ❜

❛ uh, do you have ginger ale by any chance? if not, water's fine. ❜ the first thing he does is crouch down in front of the television where the shelves of physical media sit, head tilting to read each jewel case spine in the cd section. he ignores the pain in his ribs from being doubled over like this, recognizing the name of the record that ilya had been playing on the bus; shane had peeked over at his phone during the uneventful ride, wanting to remember the album for future listening. he pulls the cd from the shelf with care and inserts it into the cd player, setting the case right on top after pressing play.

something catches shane's eye on his walk back to the bed, open closet door demanding his attention. he should lie down and mind his business, the sounds of radiohead wafting from the cd player now mingling with the slight clamor of ilya rummaging around for things not too far away. shane looks to the closet, then to the basement stairs, then back again as he comes to a quick decision, once more going against the deep ache in his middle and pulling his hoodie off along with his shirt.

˖ ‧ ᯓ ☦︎ ▒ . ❘❘❘     ──── never has there been a time where ilya was more entranced than he was with / @hollandeir in his bed , nipping at the sensitive skin of his neck as his hands explore his body .

shane keeps talking , saying exactly what he wants and how he feels , and ilya is on fire . with his neck tilted back and face towards the ceiling , ilya makes quick work of devouring every inch of exposed skin . sucking gently under his ear , licking a thin line along the muscle that runs from his collar bone to his jaw , adorning his neck wholly with his lips all while humming dreamily . he can feel shane stiffen against his lower stomach and drums go off in his head . how could he be doing this to shane with his lips alone ? what was going to happen to them when they finally were able to get their hands on each other ? ilya knows he will fall apart , torn to shreds by the bliss of being with shane in that way . he’s twitching too in his boxers already , hips rolling involuntarily underneath shane . as shane pulls away , he helplessly leans forward to catch him lips again , but is met with eyes wide and the din of car doors slamming outside in the driveway . if he wasn’t so turned on , he might’ve choked on the breath that is no longer catching in ecstasy , but instead transforming quickly into panic . 

hazel eyes widen with brown ones , and he’s trying not to raise too much concern , for his own sake , but also shane’s . theres a reassuring hand on shane’s cheek as he reaches for the sweater next to them . ──── ❛ blyat . they are not supposed to be . arms up . ❜      ilya’s hands tickle shane’s side with gentle coaxing , having him raise his arms to slide his blue sweater back over his head . he doesn’t want to move shane , partially because he was having such a nice time and also partially because he was very visibly hard in his gray sweats . but he has to . so he prompts shane to get up by attempting to get up himself and grabs his hand . ilya can hear the door opening now with a jangle of keys and the clomp of heavy feet . fucking elodie . her voice calls out now as ilya has shane sit on the cushion , squeezing his shoulders and giving him a blanket from the back of the couch . ( " ilya ? who’s car is that ? do you have a girl here ? you know what my mom says about girls in the house when she’s not here . you better be fucking decent . fuck that , im coming down ! " ) 

he’s shaking now , rattled as he grabs a book and flings it towards shane and dives toward the carpet near shane’s feet where his backpack sat . she’s coming down the stairs now , trotting down quickly as ilya grabs handfuls of paper to feign like they were doing homework and not both hard and covered in each other’s spit . elodie is chewing gum when she rounds the corner , blonde hair and blue eyes glinting in her silver falls tennis uniform . practice must’ve ended early and she loved an excuse to come downstairs and flirt shamelessly , ( " this isn’t a girl . who is this ? friend from school ? " ) traipsing across the carpet , elodie sits down on the end of the couch far from shane , closer to ilya , and ruffles his golden curls . ilya rolls his eyes , blatantly pissed at his makeout session being interrupted by her obnoxious entrance and constant need to inject herself into ilya’s life . she was pretty , sure . and every guy wanted her . but ilya was not every guy , very evident in his now subsiding boner as he locks eyes with shane in an attempt to apologize .  ( " i’ve never seen you before . you go somewhere else ? " ) biting his lips , ilya rolls his body to the side to avoid her touch , perturbed and truly not in the mood . ────  ❛  yes . this is shane . he goes to hawkins high . he is helping me with english project .  ❜. ilya tuts , biting his cheek to stop himself from saying anything rude . but she continues on , ( " why didn't you just ask me , rozanov ? you know i have an A in english . " ) ilya sits up now , ready for this conversation to be over so he can go back to kissing shane .       ────        ❛  because . shane is my good friend . and we wanted to ... hang out . alone .  ❜

the unfamiliar voice increases in volume as its owner enters the basement. if elodie is beautiful, shane doesn't know it yet, and it's simply because he cannot make himself turn and greet her just yet. yuna would skin him alive if she knew her only child wasn't utilizing his manners, but she isn't here right now ( thank god ) and what she doesn't know won't hurt her. shane eyes flick to the left a few times, an attempt to look at elodie from the edge of his peripherals. he gives up once he catches a glimpse of her ruffling ilya's hair. there is a nauseous feeling that begins to settle in his gut at this discovery, and he breaks eye contact as soon as ilya initiates it. shane doesn't know what the feeling is, but he quickly decides he doesn't like it.

❛ yeah, um... ❜ it's difficult to find his voice, but shane manages after clearing his throat and focusing on the margin of the page before him, ❛ i have a curfew and we're not even halfway done, so. we should get back to it. ❜ shane blinks a few times in rapid succession and then finally forces himself to peek over at elodie. she looks like one of those catalog models that sell athletic wear, what shane imagines is the golden standard for an all-american girl. he knows if she went to hawkins high, the entire basketball team would be drooling over her like saint bernards. shane wants to run up the basement steps and never return at this realization, but then something miraculous happens. the sick feeling in his stomach abates as he stares across the couch at her.

˖ ‧ ᯓ ☦︎ ▒ . ❘❘❘     ──── ilya just snorts at / @hollandeir’s retort . 

❛ because i know you ! probably better than anyone . and i know you will like it . and i also know you keep a secret snickers in your house . ever since halloween . ❜      the hot slap of shane’s hand against his chest sends his thoughts spiraling , and as much as his boyfriend threatens him with lack of sex , ilya knows the truth — as soon as they're settled for the night , wrapped in their softest hoodies as the fire light dims , they won’t be able to keep their hands off each other . shane had planted the seed about camping , but ilya uprooted all the pureness by giving him ideas of what they would be doing while camping . aside from s’mores and hot dogs , ilya assumed they would be participating in various outdoor activities like running and kicking the soccer ball around , nothing more than that was truly set in stone . but when ilya requested the air mattress on the list of things shane needed to get , it was probably clear what he had in mind . it’s why he had to be a menace now , so shane would be needy later . he loved when shane was needy .

❛ yes , and i am not going to eat three hot dogs and drink a bunch of beer . ❜      ilya jests . once the mattress feels filled and firmed to his liking , he manhandles it over to the tent . getting it all situated , he returns to the car to unload all of the pillows and blankets he forced shane to pack . it was met with arguments about how they were going to have to wash it all now that it has been outside , but ilya fought back , declaring it was necessary for the trip . once it is all sorted and set up to look comfortable , ilya folds the opening of the tent open to hold the zipper door open , making it look inviting . ──── ❛ it does not have as many stupid throw pillows as you like but it will work , yes ? for sleeping . not fucking . ❜

˖ ‧ ᯓ ☦︎ ▒ . ❘❘❘     ──── ilya watches as / @hollandeir gets up , still standing there , bouncing in his rebound .

he should be incredulous that shane can flip so naturally on the trampoline , like his chosen career path was gymnastics and not hockey , but he is not . instead , he is impressed , and instantly turned on watching his husband bounce into the air and execute a perfect front flip . ilya stares into the sky for a moment , disbelief in his squint as he groans in defeat . perching over his husband , he offers a hand to him to help him stand up from the responsive surface of the trampoline . ilya gives him a little shove with his shoulder once he’s upright and giggling , dopey - smiling at shane’s need to turn everything into a competition . ────  ❛ what the fuck are you some sort of secret gymnast ? did mama yuna make you do that too ? ❜

ilya moves back , getting some momentum going , bouncing as high as he can . he’s beaming , halfway actually trying and halfway just happy that shane is finally humoring his extravagant purchase . as he makes heights , he begins to swing his arms in an attempt to figure out how he was going to do this , as he had never actually done so before . once the height feels good , he jumps and attempts to tuck his legs into his chest while forcing himself backwards . in all his glory , ilya’s giant body does not make the full rotation , sending him flopping back down to the recoiling surface in earth shattering dramatics . in a defeated ball , still cackling like a loon , ilya pushes himself up to look at shane , still pissed he could do just a front flip so easily .    ──── ❛ ok . beat that , shit head . ❜

˖ ‧ ᯓ ☦︎ ▒ . ❘❘❘     ──── the demon had been watching / @hollandeir . 

for how long , it is hard to say . time moves differently for someone who was never born and will never die . always existing as primordial matter made is difficult to say how ilya knew his name . perhaps it was something intrinsically coded into his very being , all of the parts made of the thrumming magic of the earth . as a beast , roaming the forest , it was frictionless to keep a keen eye on the mage that moved through — the one whose spirit called to him from the moment he was brought forth . there , in his human form , ilya is glowing like low burning coals , more aware than he’s been in a while . when was the last time he was in this form ? 

he cannot answer the question presented , he did not know exactly why he was lured to the dark haired creature like this . but it had been a relentless curiosity that finally made him break the seal he had set for himself , an invisible line in the dirt that he drawn that stopped him from interacting with others , for their sake and his own . the demon had seen enough loss . his eyes glint , almost golden in all their hazel gemstone beauty . ──── ❛ do you always ask this many questions ? ❜. he offers his hand , deployed like a gently floating feather , using his fingers to beckon him with a come hither motion .        ────      ❛  come .  ❜