gaybitch.mp3

I spent 30 years as an email draft

what?

he said he spent 30 years as an email draft

oh ok thanks

FUCKING MOMENT IN HISTORY AND I AM NOT KIDDING. WE TAKE THIS SHIT FOR GRANTED NOW WITH SPIDERVERSE AND ONE PIECE AND SHIT BUT THIS. NO ONE HAD EVER SEEN ANYTHING LIKE THIS. WHAT A FUCKING MOMENT.

my psychiatrist finally gave my adhd diagnosis a couple of days ago. as validating as this is, i think i'm experiencing what i feel like is some sort of ego death and it's fucking me up so bad. like i have medical proof that i'm living in a world that isnt suited for people like me, and that instead of getting the support i should have gotten as a kid i was met with years long shame from my family for just simply existing and not knowing better. there's so much shame, guilt, anger, sadness that idk how to deal with. i don't know how to talk to my family now that my entire core being feels like it's being uprooted from the ground, because to them nothing has changed. and knowing them i feel like they'll never truly listen to me and my struggle coughing it up to just "push through" or "praying the sadness away" as if i wasnt literally suicidal from pushing through. i'm struggling so bad with all these feelings and the separation of who i once thought i was gonna grow up to be, it's genuinely so disarming and idk what to do

like if i had to describe this feeling it's like someone is pulling my skeleton out of my body bone by bone while everyone else around me is saying how its fine and super normal and just push through it

sometimes you think about how there's a thin thread between you and losing it all and it's streaming service dropout tv but then it's like no you also have a thin thread being held up by your cat but also wait your wife and your friends and your favorite music and then you realize you have enough thread to pull you out of the hole you swore you keep digging yourself into. completely unrelated but it's my first day on prozac

guys i'm back in the hole and my demons are killing my spirit

i would fuck him [remembers im talking about a real person] um [remembers its normal to be attracted to people] i would fuck him

open tumblr, see something that pisses me off, write a snarky post, delete it, write a slightly more earnest post, edit it for 5 minutes, delete it, close tumblr

Legal Eagle asking "are you covered to have an open flame in the studio?" and a producer worriedly yelling "we're not!" as Ally goes to light a bong they filled with real whiskey is maybe the hardest I have ever laughed at an episode of Game Changer.

(wanting to make a post about something but it reveals too much about your personal life) i have had a negative experience

the wretched world of verbalizing things