I don't know why I still use tumblr

If you are a vampire NEVER feed from someone named Richard. 400 fucking years and everyone still calls me Dick Sucker

hello beloveds. i hate being this guy but my medical expenses are piling up and this morning my bedframe snapped!!! if anyone feels like throwing a couple dollars at me so i can keep up with food costs during all this id really really appreciate it. thanks so much

I get no notes because as soon as someone finishes reading my post they are compelled to put down their phone and experience the wonders of the world around them with fresh eyes

Because of how bad the post is

people will go to church then go out to eat afterwards and leave a massive mess, be heinous to the staff/servers, and tip some pocket lint & prayer. your god is not going to save you.

NOW I AM BECOME AVOIDANT. DESTROYER OF POTENTIAL CONNECTIONS

I had a dream I went to the symphony and the conductor also had a cowboy with him on his little conductor platform. The cowboy seemed to be as much part of it as anyone else. He did a boot scoot, a lasso trick. At the end of the symphony the conductor was like “we flew in one of the world’s leading symphonic cowboys for tonight’s performance” and I felt like some uncultured fucking idiot for not knowing that symphonies had cowboys

if i had a penis i would treat it so well i would take it for walks and give it a comfortable bed to sleep on and give it treats etc

one thing about me is when i read or watch something and there's an evil child or some sort of monster who was born a monster i'm always going to side with the monster. sorry about your loser parents i would have loved you. skill issue

his eyes were coke zero brown