ronin

"this post transcends language XD" but it's a post with no english cognates at all

being a kid and hearing adults say stuff like "woah 2011 was 4 years ago haha" didn't really convey the fucking horror of a youtube video crossing my recommended labelled "9 years ago" and it's from 2017. that's not true. 9 years ago is 2010 or something. don't lie.

i hate the word spicy can we bring back calling things erotic

rolling up to Wendy's to get an erotic chicken sandwich

you've met me at a very "yeah i'm trying to work on that" time in my life

the thing about being "good with kids" is all it takes is literally just not trying to control and mould them with every interaction. it's just being a normal person and engaging with them through normal interactions like having conversations and playing games. it's just being genuine and friendly and not perceiving them as lumps of wet clay you are there to shape. "oh you're so good with kids" thanks it's because I think they are people

kill the shift manager in your brain

you are not wasting time you are vibing. you are not being unproductive you are literally chilling. make a grill cheese with cheddar cheese and slather a piece of the bread with some honey and maybe you'll relax

...ok but what if the shift manager is actually right

you are a minor so i will say this with absolute confidence as an adult: there is not a single time on the history of this planet that a shift manager has ever been right. and more seriously, in this metaphor: treating yourself like shit for not being productive doesn't actually make you more productive. it makes you treat yourself like shit.

Maybe if I just work harder, this empty cup will pour again

Maybe the cup needs a bit of time to rest and refill?

Maybe the cup needs to lock the fuck in???

whoever coined "there are no stupid questions"; clearly didn't anticipate mark rosewater's blog

for non mtg players imagine if the head Flavor Scientist at pepsi cola had a blog and people kept going on it to ask like "do you think you'll make a pepsi that tastes like sewage? why haven't you ever made a pepsi with a drowned rat in it? i notice that the pepsi is always on the inside of the can and not the other way round, is there a reason for that?"

How do I explain Plato's allegory of the cave to my cat?

gato’s allegory of the fishtank