ghost nest

 november 7th, 4:47 am pst.

 in all sincerity;

 this interview was birthed from the innate fear of death. for what it is to ‘be a ghost’, beyond having the ability to slam doors after your passing, isn’t truly defined. a trait consistent throughout the many interpretations of angels, spirits, paranormal and such is the presence felt being an essence lost in time. ‘who’ a person is stops at their death. all human aspects stripped, ghosts work as an echo of a fading past; something more akin to a message in a bottle than an entity still living.

 so, in our lives, do we strive to create essences that continue to build after our deaths? or do we attempt to capture our essences well enough at the moment to make our ghosts stronger? the latter has been adopted for ‘a ghost nest’. i hope, for everybody’s sake, that it isn't explained again. context felt necessary to clear up why these interviews are in a hybrid, ‘Dear Sally’-esque format. what this should be considered, at most, is an exercise in essence on a minuscule scale.

 and on november 7th, at approximately 5:10 am pst, brandon macdonald expressed a similar sentiment. ‘tantrum provider’ for Palm Coast-based emo band Home is Where, they noted the name’s function as a subliminal advertisement; so that whenever the proverb it takes from is used, listeners at any moment in time will harken back to sound bleeding with vibrancy. ‘the scientific classification of stingrays’ (topical cover art) carries an urgency somehow familiar, symptomatic of the band stretching their foundations into their own monument. for ninety minutes, unknowingly breaths away from a new president-elect, we had a conversation.

 this is Home is Where’s ghost nest.

  So, how long is too long for us not to have a presidential assassination?

  Brandon: Um, that’s a good question. I was on a local podcast recently and, funny enough, I didn’t know going into it that they’re sponsored by a financial magazine?  I lost my shit finding that out. I was laughing my ass off. I was like, “your financial magazine, right now, is supporting an artist who is a dedicated Marxist. A communist who sees these people on the street and knows that I represent exactly what they’re against”. The song isn’t meant to be about an actual assassination or about Orange Man himself. I wanted it to be a comment on the structure itself, you know, how long living within it does it take before everything builds up and we eventually bite the hand that feeds us?

  Protest music that names specific presidents does not age well. Look at 80s punk, besides Dead Kennedys, mentioning Reagan. You know, what was the name of that compilation against Bush? The intention was to write a protest song that lasts longer than a presidency. Also, it was easier from a lyric-writing perspective, although there are plenty of words that rhyme with Trump. I don’t know about McConnell [laughs]. 

    Videos of ‘stingrays’ live date back to January. Was all the material off the next record written pre-quarantine?

    All of it. We were sitting on this material for a while, and we went into the studio in early April. We wanted to pump something out before, you know, the end of the world happened. So we got those done, it was mastered around May, and now we are waiting for a few more parts to be sent in. That’s no worries, it’s been a difficult time for all of us. The original plan wasn’t even to drop a single for ‘i became birds’. 2021 was coming up and we hadn’t released anything this year, so ‘stingrays’ felt like the most direct and obvious choice.

   In the world, how do you see both your personal presence & Home is Where’s presence?

   You know, I don’t leave the house much. If I do, I wear a mask. I go to work. I spend time with my cat. I hang out with my girlfriend when I can, as we’re pretty much on opposite schedules. The band hasn’t been up to much. We haven’t met since May and we’ve all faced changes in our individual lives, but at some point, when or if the chaos comes to an end, we’ll be playing together again.    In terms of Home is Where? We’re an emo band from Florida. There’s plenty of those. This might be a pretty trash take, but a lot of the bands in the scene comment on liberalism, and you can only gain so much by listening to it. You should spend your time reading theory, doing something actually important, so you’d be able to make a change in the world. So, in the grand scheme of things, Home is Where is not important. However, it is something I love and am fortunate enough to do. 

  Dear Brandon, of Home is Where.   I’m having trouble finding my own space when stuck home with my family. What should I do?

  Charley, in Pennsylvania.

------------------------------------------------

  Brandon: Is this referring to COVID?

  I’m pretty sure it is.

. Okay, I think I have an answer for this.

  In terms of finding your own space, just find something you’re passionate about and, fucking, dive headfirst into it. A few years back, around the time we started to get serious with the band, I was in a position where I didn’t have a job but I had enough saved up so that it was a few months until I had to worry about rent. With all the time I had, I wanted to buckle down and get really into something I wanted to learn everything about emo. You know, I knew Rites of Spring were the ones who started the genre and some of the stuff about the 90s, but I wanted to know all of it. There were 2000 emo albums that I downloaded and I listened through all of them. Everyone inspired me. Not all of them were good, no. Some were bad, but by listening to them, I knew exactly what I didn’t want to do. It helped clarify what I wanted Home is Where to sound like.

  Find something you’re passionate about. You know, reading theory, making art, do something that makes at home in your home. You can do so many great things.

  Do you have any song recommendations for this situation?

  I have two! The first is, well, you can never go wrong with Cap’n Jazz. Pioneers, truly some of the greats. Tim Kinsella is a genius; I do my best to take what I can from him. It’s him and Bob Dylan. The song is We Are Scientists! (by Cap’n Jazz). I believe some of the lyrics do touch upon that feeling of being stuck around other people. Like, “starchy product scripted people I never asked to care about”? “you can’t look at the sky without looking right through it”? Those lines are, mwah, chef’s kiss!

  The second is H.S. by Plunger. Let me pull up the lyrics to this. It’s another one that comments directly on feeling isolated from those around you. Here it is; “All these old faces/Smiling and laughing/But you’ll never leave fourteen”. Yeah, that seems to sum up the emotion this person expressed.

  Dear Brandon, of Home is Where.   Things recently ended with a person I had been seeing. I hurt them, didn’t communicate my feelings properly, and I feel like garbage for it. I leave the continent for 5 months in a few weeks, and I want to reach out before I leave, but also I want to give her space? Should I wait and see if she reaches out? I’m a dumb stupid idiot.   Dumb stupid idiot, in Maine.

------------------------------------------------

  ‘Dumb stupid idiot’ [laughs]. That truly is an emo question. I am sorry to hear that you’re going through that. That sucks, man. Heartbreak sucks. I wish you the best in leaving the country during COVID times, seeing as that might be difficult, and hopefully, it opens your eyes to new things.

 My one piece of advice is to give it time. I know a few years seems like a lot of time, but it really isn’t. There are moments where I, too, indulge in being derogatory towards myself. Home is Where has lyrics about feeling alienated, being hard on yourself. A few years ago, I moved back to the town I grew up in, and even though it was considered ‘home’, I didn’t feel that. It was tough. Eventually, over time, everything came together. You just gotta wait and look back when you’re in a better headspace,

  You’re going overseas, you have so many new experiences ahead of you. Who knows, maybe you two will end up working out, we’ll see. You got this. I’m rooting for ya.

   Do you have any song recommendations?

    I came up with three, actually. One isn’t emo or anything close to adjacent, so I added another to compensate.

   I Love You Too by Rainer Maria is the first one. It’s hard to find emo that deals straight up with a break-up, there isn’t much out there, but Rainer Maria stuck out. This song is killer. That entire EP is killer. One of the best emo bands ever.

   Idiot Wind by Bob Dylan is my second recommendation. Which is not emo, but in terms of break-up songs, it doesn’t get much better than this. Blood on the Tracks is fucking brutal; Dylan puts blame on pretty much everything.

  The other emo song is from, I want to say, around 2000 or 2001? Near the end of that 90s, ‘second wave’ emo, whatever it is considered. The song is For Meg by On the Might of Princes. It’s about Meg Griffin from Family Guy. No, it’s not. Actually, I am not sure, but this track has just about everything; it’s lo-fi, has some screams, and the lyrics seem to discuss a heartbreak;

 ”This is for you. to hold you close, to keep you Close to my heart. I'll scream it til your ears bleed You'll always have a friend in me”

 Great, great emo that gets heavy. They’re the only emo band that Brave Little Abacus cited as an influence on their sound. You should definitely check them out.

 Home is Where’s visual ghost nest (collages & mixtape visualizer) consists of: Modern Times//Halloween: Resurrection (”Busta Rhymes beating the shit out of Michael Myers is a 10/10 for me”)//Blood Diner//Simpsons: Hit & Run//City Lights//Woody Guthrie: Hard Travelin’//The Horror of Party Beach//Peanuts//Zippy the Pinhead//Fritz the Cat//The Enfield Haunting//Twin Peaks//Wayne’s World 2//Synecdoche, New York//Japanese Woodblock Prints

  Home is Where can be found on twitter, facebook, and bandcamp. ‘i became birds’ out 2021 on Knifepunch Records. 

 their ghost nest is on spotify. questions for future ‘episodes’ can be asked under the advice tab.

   Good morning.

     I’ve been struggling the past two weeks figuring out a way to release this ‘mixtape’. Instead of an article that takes too many artistic liberties in its presentation, I am writing this.

   ‘Twinkledad’s Pro Father 1 + 2 Remastered’ was intended to be in reflection of ‘Pro Father 3’, an episode of the radio show I used to host. During that first semester I experienced what might be considered ‘trauma’, both at my hands and at another’s. Two years removed and things happen in my brain that I can’t ascertain if they are normal or not. DIY Emo, a scene I only had one toe in, worked as a crutch for me back then. Its socially progressive outlook on ‘holding people accountable’ was awe-inspiring at the time. 

   Now, DIY emo and what Twinkledad’s represented feels more akin to a rape & revenge film. There is no emphasis or insight on the psyche of the victim, rather an unrealistic solution. I can’t spend anymore time ruminating on negative feelings that, if the revenge did happen, will probably still persist. Hence, trauma.  

   An emo blog, or a constant focus, is not a healthy coping mechanism. I don’t know what is. I’ll figure it out, I hope.

 Much love & bless,  Willard. 

  'season 1 episode 16' initially aired on kups 90.1 fm in the fall of 2018. Twinkledad's original focal point was to curate midwest emo playlists to hyper specific situations, and in Freshman year I revisited a childhood obsession I had with the Valentine's Day episode of Spongebob. I've realized now it was Patrick's behavior that drew me to it, because there was a visceral to it. Yeah, it is unhealthy to revel in heartbreak, but it was such a dominating force in the episode that even the chocolate balloon Deus Ex Machina didn't feel just. The show's good nature never leveled out with the ten minutes of chaos beforehand.

  Looking back at it, it was a mixture of a mood disorder and a rather entry level taste in the genre. Still, for the purpose of archival, here it is mostly unchanged. An e!e! song was substituted for Ben Quad's six minute ripper and samples take the place of the original talking points. 

Twinkledad’s is back for the time being. This site fell dormant for a few reasons. I’ll delve into it in the next post coming up in around a week. However, over the past few months I’ve made a few mixtapes and music videos. They’ll be posted here with context. Check them out if you want. Bless, Willard.

Twinkledad’s Pro Father 3 (a midwest emo mixtape)

The original Twinkledad’s show (Twinkledad’s School Survival Guide) has not been archived, nor will it ever be. In its entirety, at least. It used to work as weekly pinterest mood boards for transitioning into college, with highly specific topics such as ”having intense emotional feelings about S2E9 of Spongebob”. The intention was to painfully open up about my personal life, and given that I was really not doing well at that time, I hope it’s understandable why a good chunk of it will be left in the past. ‘Pro Father 3′ was the penultimate episode of the show, emphasizing the excitement to return home for winter break and masturbate nostalgia by playing Tony Hawk’s Pro Skater 3. This was an attempt at an emo skate tape.

north end tacoma wa fall twenty twenty emo mixtape

“If you know Tacoma, you fucking know” - Harper, in the comments of this video.

from my grave to yours, i hope this worm finds you | a “midwest emo” mixtape

The title is in reference to Eurydice by Sarah Ruhl. There’s nothing much to say that hasn’t been mentioned in the description. It’s comprised entirely of covers, all of which are fun to listen to individually. I don’t know how it works in a mixtape setting.

ORTHODOXXER - STOPPED AT A RED LIGHT

‘Zoomer punk for the masses’. 

*TUMDUST* - your feet will stay warm all day long

Today, my CoStar daily alert read like this:

“When you feel an impulse to control another person, use it as a prompt to remember that you can’t.”

Believing in the stars is kind of stupid. Rooting back in my high school naivety, though, I do believe everything happens for a reason. And if you believe in that, then what happens makes sense.

If you read this blog, I made it known there was supposed to be a Twinkledad’s interview. 

If you’re reading this now, you’ll know it fell through.

Reddit PMs are not an efficient way to book plans, first of all. Doing it two months in advanced of a tour they announced morning of is boneheaded too. I recognized how ballsy of an idea it was, given the complete lack of professionalism. I have no professional experience, and honestly, there was no real reason to do the interview. Any money or “clout” ventures are stupid. It was just to have done it.

Yesterday, we agreed to do the interview after the show (through actual DMs). I went to buy merch, and during the interaction, told the initial point of contact who I was. From what I heard (I, a single perspective), the response was:

                                            “Oh...good for you”.

And we exchanged names, which was kinda jarring. I had no idea where to build from, and ultimately didn’t. A friend and I waited until everything was shut off, gear packed, then left. We ate In N’ Out. During the time spent waiting, we delved into conversation that was in the moment. No talks of the future, only discussion that could have existed then.

I couldn’t have had a better finish to the night.

The common response is to fling shit at the walls when your favorite DIY twinkle-emo band doesn’t give you attention, and try to move forces against them. This situation feels inline to being ghosted by/ghosting a romantic interest. 

 I could have handled what led up to it much better. Perspectives differ. They’re a touring band, they don’t owe anything to me as just a fan. Anybody’s selfish, specifically mine in this case, shouldn’t matter to any other but yourself. Not even that statement right there. The night became less of holding onto that sliver of hope and more enjoying where I was at. 

I discovered this band through a person whom my opinion of shouldn’t affect them, and vice versa. It’s nice to know how it has come full circle, ending with a 10 inch, a fleeting experience, and a shirt I’m still going to wear to brunch tomorrow. (EDIT: i also just remembered he didn’t give me my change back for the merch, which i was okay with at the time, but yeah that is kind of dodgy)

However, questions were sent in, and they don’t deserve to be ignored. Here are my answers, and you can imagine some quirky banter if everything went differently.

Dear Twinkledad,

Given everything I just said above, what music recommendations would you give?

Anonymous.

“So I’m leaving...

  voooOOiiiiCCeeeemaaaiiiiiillllsssss”

Cloud District - Hamster Camp

Bug Bath - Unique Experience

Jawbreaker - Boxcar

Algae Bloom - Thornes

Kississippi - Cut Yr Teeth

Dear Twinkledad,

Things recently ended with a person I had been seeing. I hurt them, didn’t communicate my feelings properly, and I feel like garbage for it. I leave the continent for 5 months in a few weeks, and I want to reach out before I leave, but I also want to give her space? Should I wait and see if she reaches out? I’m a dumb stupid idiot.

Dumb, Stupid Idiot.

Dumb, Stupid Idiot,

This is tough. Even through a small paragraph, I could sense a lot of regret. And usually, waiting until they, as the offended party, responds is a smart move, but the continental move complicates it.

If you have genuine sorrow, please reach out as soon as what’s reasonable. The time you’ll be gone will impact how she approaches it, and five months is a lot of time to sit on a negative feeling like that. If you’re in the position of having hurt someone, extending that hand once your heart feels the need to is important. Also, inferring the situation, you’re probably the one who would need to apologize (not a bad thing! we all are in this spot, one way or another!)

Hopefully this helped. I truly do wish you the best.

Casiotone for the Painfully Alone - Nashville Parthenon

Stars Hollow - As You Were Before.

Frail Body - Old Friends

Hightide Hotel - A Soft Subtle Sound

Dear Twinkledad,

how do I find interesting things to do for my last semester of high school? everything feels like too much work to start and everyone else seems too busy to hangout.

Anonymous.

Anonymous,

I was in a similar position Senior year. When you get into college, those troubles will get infinitely better. It’s practically a boiling pot for activity.

For the time being, try relying on your impulses. Stupid, yes, but if you want to experience youth to its fullest, this is how. Interesting things to do lies within the “schizophrenia” (spacy, uneven rhythm in life) of what surrounds you. There is no purpose to try too hard for something. Let it happen, only focus on how your heart beats, and not an ideal nature your mind is trying to create.

Vandalism, finger painting, walks, kratom, anything and everything.

Cow tipping?

Yes.

It sounds like you’re left to nothing but to fuck around for the time you have left. Make it worth it. Hopefully that helped!

Laura Stevenson - Master of Art

Total Downer - Everything Is Gonna Be Alright

For Your Health - Second Aid Kit

Sleep Kit - Je Ne Sais Pas, Aue

Dear Twinkledad,

I am interested in a girl but I'm unsure we are compatible. I always run into her at skramz shows so I know we at least some musical taste overlap but the only other thing I know about her is that she works a blue collar job while I am a white collar professional. I am unsure if it's worth pursuing further knowing that I would rather be with someone that has a similar lifestyle to me. How should I proceed?  

-Business Casual at the Skramz Gig.

Business Casual at the Skramz Gig,

I feel like the point of a crush (opposed to having actual feelings for someone) is to know someone better. It straddles the line between romantic interest and want of general companionship. Our human want is to interact with other humans, and arguably, become more human in the process. Even if she doesn’t check the boxes to your “goals”, there’s a wealth of opportunity there to get to know someone possibly rad. 

Go for it! Skramz is a good starting point. You can’t be an NPC forever. I wish you good luck!

Dianacrawls - Rollercoasting Simulation

Senza - Sentience

Portrayal of Guilt - Among Friends

Shin Guard - Cross Country

Dear Twinkledad,

ask the emo bands how to get gamer girls to step on my face

Anonymous.

Anonymous,

this question makes everything your fault.

Wellspring - Quiver

ORTHODOXXER - IBLOCKEDHIMFROMMYFINSTAINAFITOFRAGE (TIK TOK ANTHEM)

oswald;octopus - montreal is where guys wear nail polish but not condoms (never meant pt. 2 i’m going to beat the fucking shit out of mike kinsella)

SCRAWLERS - 7/11

POSED OUT - THRASHACHUSETTS

friends from home - casket made of stone

god bless gilgamesh - i look for feathers in the rains from heaven, i find mostly piss

It’s been a while. The last few weeks of the semester passed, and admittedly I got caught up in it all. When #9 came around, I wasn’t particularly happy. You can definitely sense it in the second question, which not only did I ask, but I even play a sxe song in response. 

But we’re happy now, and I’m happy to be here. Back on Twinkledad’s.

(This episode’s theme is Christina’s World by Andrew Wyeth. My roommate and I would often talk about this piece and its context this past semester. Thinking about it today.)

Dear Twinkledad,

What makes you feel at home?

Anonymous

Anonymous,

Both of these questions are rather personal. Thus, songs chosen are what I personally associate with home. Whether because of specific experiences, or having these soundtrack studying when I was a young teenager.

Lions - Time Spent Spending Time Apart

Adventures - Reach Out to You

Title Fight - Shed

1994! - Sour Thanks, Man

Dads - Shit Twins

Dear Twinkledad,

How do I define my personality?

Anonymous (It’s me. It’s Twinkledad.)

“Anonymous”,

I don’t know how to describe this. It’s, it’s a mess.

Still Life - A Song About Love

Camp Cope - The Face of God

Anna Flyaway - You Were A Pride of Lions

Die Hoffnung - Eulogy for Ned

North Folk - Mythmaker

a friend visited//missed the opportunity to play great big pile of leaves. we answered two personal questions, one semantic question, then celebrated for the first (and hopefully not the last) time on Twinkledad’s

Dear Twinkledad,

 I like a girl but I can’t tell if she is into me. It started out as more than friends and now it’s more like friends. I want to ask her what she is feeling/thinking but I also don’t want to scare her off or ruin the vibez.

Anonymous

We had a deep long talk about this conversation. Mostly positive; heavy emphasis on how to respect both yours and their emotions. Laying back is possibly the best thing, and let the relationship roll out how it should.

Charmer - Topanga Lawrence

Modern Baseball - My Love

Mahria - Lights

Mineral - LoveLetterTypewriter

Awakebutstillinbed - Floor

Origami Angel - Escape Rope

California Cousins - Extendo Weekend

Dear Twinkledad,

how am i supposed to woo gamer girl if shes in her room playing sims all day

Anonymous

Eventually there’s going to be a whole episode dedicated to this long-time caller. But this was fun, it always is.

Let’s hope she stomps on your face.

Boy Problems - I Swallowed A Bug

Can’t Hardly Wait - Virginia

Everyone Asked About You - Paper Airplanes, Paper Hearts

By Surprise - Hanging Out with Wendy in Sulkiland

Dear Twinkledad,

 do you feel non-binary people are allowed to use the terms “gay” & “lesbian”?

Anonymous  

Special guest was Warren Peace, who gave an eloquent response. It comes down to semantics, but we should let people handle their own business. Gender is constantly progressing, and it’s taking healthy steps.

Niiice. - Sweaty Hands

Dear Twinkledad, 

I made a post on here a couple weeks ago about how I felt like I'll never find love or experience it, and haven't really experienced it for real. Well recently I met someone and she's the sweetest girl ever and I really think that we have a strong chance of having something good. Thank you so much for the advice man.

Anonymous

Although this is an advice show, I hold no expectations. There’s nothing that should give any of these words weight. This update was exciting for many reasons, as not only does it indicate a “success”, but you’re happier than you were. That is what’s most important, and these two songs were chosen to have a little dance party to celebrate. Whoever you are, I’m truly happy for you.

Thank you,

Twinkledad.

Promise Ring - Skips a Beat (Over You)

Although beauty is bustling this time of year, I don’t take enough landscapes. Thus, this week’s theme is Chytilová’s Daisies (’66).

Dear Twinkledad,

how do i make gamer girl fall in love with me,

Anonymous

I want the world to know that HUGH SCHMIDT, KUPS Programming Director/DJ Warren Peace/Q-Anon Truther/Sky High Neo-Revivalist/”If You Don’t Know It’s Your Cousin At The Time, Then Incest Is Okay” Believer/Religion Major History Minor/Ladder-Climbing Scene Slut HUGH SCHMIDT sent in this question.

I REPEAT, HUGH SCHMIDT. HUGH SCHMIDT. HUGH SCHMIDT.

Knope - Ralph Gets His Heart Broken

Heccra - Banjo Kazooie

The Brave Little Abacus - 45 Minutes from “Somewhere Out There”

Dear Twinkledad,

What is the most plausible reason behind people becoming so entranced with themselves? And how do those people not realize they push others away?

Anonymous

Dad Thighs - Mutually Exclusive

Petal - I’m Sorry

Dear Twinkledad,

Why is there such a need to be “with” someone all the time? Why do you personally think people are so uncomfortable being alone with themselves all the time?

Anonymous

CSTVT - Between Berwyn and Bryn Mawr

empire! empire! (i was a lonely estate) - The Horror of Riovanes

Dear Twinkledad,

Why do you think music can be such a touchy subject for people? Like why are people so easily upset when someone dislikes their taste of music?

Anonymous

To contextualize this with the show;

*ahem*

"Real Emo" only consists of the dc Emotional Hardcore scene and the late 90's Screamo scene. What is known by "Midwest Emo" is nothing but Alternative Rock with questionable real emo influence. When people try to argue that bands like My Chemical Romance are not real emo, while saying that Sunny Day Real Estate is, I can't help not to cringe because they are just as fake emo as My Chemical Romance (plus the pretentiousness). Real emo sounds ENERGETIC, POWERFUL and somewhat HATEFUL. Fake emo is weak, self pity and a failed attempt to direct energy and emotion into music. Some examples of REAL EMO are Pg 99, Rites of Spring, Cap n Jazz (the only real emo band from the midwest scene) and Loma Prieta. Some examples of FAKE EMO are American Football, My Chemical Romance and Mineral EMO BELONGS TO HARDCORE NOT TO INDIE, POP PUNK, ALT ROCK OR ANY OTHER MAINSTREAM GENRE

Rites of Spring - Spring

Native Nod - High Tide in Alaska

one-off mixtape: “I’ve started to play chess every time I think about masturbation”. Samples used from the distance is a place between us, Magnus Carlsen and Bobby Fischer.

Image from Bergman’s Seventh Seal

The Brave Little Abacus - I See It Too.

Skinwalkers - Inner Monologue

La Luna - House Party

The World Is A Beautiful Place & I Am No Longer Afraid to Die - Wendover

Cyberbully Mom Club - Philadelphia II

Park Jefferson - There’s Too Much Talk About Ghosts

Sup, Muscles? - Something About Ghosts

John Galm - Seeing Ghosts

Running Shoes - Little Bird

Tigers Jaw - Spirit Desire (acoustic)

The Obsessives - Smell California

Halloween 2019. Ghosts and such.

Dear Twinkledad,

how do I stop myself from self sabotaging a relationship once the other person starts to show the same feelings towards me?

the distance between us is a place - someone loved me once 7/21/19 2.34 am

Forests - How’s Leaving Coming Along?

Mineral - Love My Way

Blowout - 1 I Want

Brave Bird - See You Next Year

Short Fictions - I’m Not Depressed

I Create - Your Sun is a Destroyer

Dear Twinkledad, 

weird dreams of old relationships that ive cut off are become super frequent as of late. should i take this a sign to maybe rekindle them or is it just a coincidence? some are sexual relations and some are just old friendships. but they are ones that didnt end on a good note.

Anonymous.

I Hate Sex - I Hate Sports

*TUMDUST* - Moss Wall

Jaylin Peterson - Rock, Rock

Jackie Trash - Honey Ghost

The Exploration - This Will Blossom

Oso Oso - Where You’ve Been Hiding

We traveled up to Seattle the night before. In some moments, the air will line up. You will imagine thirty alternate realities in which you’ve lived in this sense of euphoria your entire life. I had only been to the UW area once before, when Hop Along performed at the Neptune. Both times I believe I was in love. The air had lined up.

Dear Twinkledad,

Why is love the exception?

Anonymous.

Make Me - Do You Ever Wish You Could Breathe Underwater?

Nervous Dater - Bad Spanish

Shin Guard - Sure

Dear Twinkledad,

How do I/should I broach a subject that might ruin my relationship with a family member? They are making a decision that I think is bad for them and will affect me in a negative way as well. I am worried that if I approach this wrong I may very well ruin our relationship completely. I feel like I need to say it regardless of the potential fallout but I am still nervous of the potential fallout.

Merchant Ships - Sleep Patterns

Penfold - I’ll Take You Everywhere

Family Might - Friends With Elephants

Dear Twinkledad,

What do you think is a good way to get your spirits up when you’re feeling dull, despite everything around you being fine, everything really goes as planned but still you feel like something is missing?

Anonymous

Two-Point Conversion - Ampharos

Graduating Life - Metallica Rocks

Got to this episode late due to Midterms. I watched Eraserhead for the first time last Friday. I’ve been hung up on it emotionally the past week, and seeing as the four landscape photos on Twinkledad’s #2 were the only ones on my phone, this week’s theme is Eraserhead.

We are going through a slight shift of how these blog posts are made. Because, well, life. These are catch-up posts, and so if you’re truly curious about what I said on the show, please ask! However, by listening to these songs, you can kind of get the sentiment I’m trying to articulate.

Dear Twinkledad,

When I spend time with other people, I tend to be very quiet and shy, and ultimately it seems like my presence is unnecessary - my friends and acquaintances' nights would be no different (and possibly better) if I wasn't there. What can I do to become a more interesting and fun person in social situations? Should I be trying to accept the way I am now instead? I feel like I'll never have close friends or really be liked.

Anonymous

Algernon Cadwallader - If It Kills Me

Eldritch Anisette - Suckerpunch

I Love Your Lifestyle - Christopher Robin

Dear Twinkledad,

i feel like the person that im kinda seeing right now wants to move forward in a realationship. but i really only connect with him during sex? like other than sex i feel like we are two polar opposites. hes WAY introverted and im super outgoing. like when we hang out its an awkward tension. but the second things get intimate all that leaves and its as if we have been together forever. but when its done its back to the tension. should i give it time? or cut it off..

Anonymous.

                                      “I, I don’t want no scrub”

Summer Vacation - Sex Cells

Olde Pine - That’s Git

Dear Twinkledad,

First time listener (My timezone and work schedule makes it difficult to tune in) I recently moved and am struggling to meet people in the city I moved to. My job is not good for meeting people and not going well which is putting me into a place where I am feeling defeated. How do I overcome this and make new friends in this new place? Thanks

Anonymous.

The Khayembii Communique - A Year And An Ocean

Save Bandit - Haymaker

Dear Dr. Twinkledad,

Every day feels like a slog to me, a never-ending drag which never ceases to disappoint. however, I also recognize that my life is actually rather eventful and I have a lot that I should be enjoying. how do I, in the words of Monty Python, always look on the bright side of life?

(two parter)

Dear Dr. Twinkle Dad,

What’s the importance of feeling negative emotions? What’s the benefit of pain? Is there some shared humanity that connects us all? What’s the favorite thing you’re learning about in your GQS class?

I Hate Myself - Caught In a Flood With the Captain of the Cheerleading Squad

Dear Twinkledad,

Am I moving on too fast? I just got out of something super toxic... and not even 10 days later I’m hooking up with someone I just met. My ex really damaged me and I don’t know if I’m doing this to distract myself or if I’m really ready. I feel bad bc this new kid is very sweet and I don’t want to lead him on but also as of right now its just friends with benefits. also I’m talking to a old flame. I just feel lost and like I need a second opinion.

Anonymous.

 Dear Anonymous,  When I answered this question on air, I ran into a few technical difficulties with Serato. As a result, the first song had the audio quality of Never Meant earrape once it finally played. I hope it wasn’t too abrasive! Logan was a big fan of it, though.

 So. 

 Here at Twinkledad’s, we support healthy sex lives. The act of hooking up with someone, even right after a breakup, is completely okay. You have this freedom and it’s in your right to use it. Where you should be careful is your intent behind this FWB relationship. What are you getting out of it? Is it sex for the sake of sex, or are you reaching for something deeper?

 It is wholly possible you could be wanting the “emotional intimacy” often associated with relationship sex. That could be trouble for you and the other party involved.

 Toxic relationships, from common knowledge and experience, can leave a lot of emotional trauma. Now is the time for you to learn how to heal. Finding healthy coping mechanisms is a trial-and-error process. That is what essentially takes up most of the timetable for moving on; once it clicks, and you’ll know when, it’s a matter of days from then.

 The question could be, “am I trying to move on too fast?”.  Forcing yourself to move on, actively or subconsciously, does not allow you the respect you deserve. Applying what was previously said to your specific question, you could be ignorant to what your emotions need right now. Likewise, if your FWB or old flame are not on the same page as you, they could become more attached than you are. No one’s at fault for this. You’d be coping and that’s reasonable.

 You simply asked for a second opinion, and probably didn’t want this long of a response. To give an answer to your original question, yes, I believe you are. I know nothing beyond the question you’ve sent in, but I really wish you the best with everything.

 “Anniversary Song” was chosen for its subject matter. The entire album, Just Married, is a very bitter and real portrayal of breaking up, moving on, and dying angry. 

 “Heathers” is not only catchy, but (possibly) about a booty call. It is a fun introspection about staying up all night and needing someone to talk to.

Glocca Morra - Anniversary Song

Insignificant Other - Heathers

Dear Twinkledad,

How do I apologize to someone who doesn’t want to talk to me? Is there a way where I can apologize without it being self serving?

Anonymous.

Dear Anonymous,

 In essence, I feel like this is impossible.

 There’s nothing wrong with that. You should give your interests and the other person’s interests the same amount of respect. It is difficult when you have genuine regret over something and you can’t necessarily go across portraying that when the other person, reasonably so, is hurt/upset/any sentiment that results in them not wanting to talk to you. 

 Apologizing right now, in this situation, will realistically be seen as self serving. In Moral Philosophy we discussed the concept of psychological egoism. Egoism is pretty different from selfishness, as egoism is acting in one’s self interest with wisdom, charity, and kindness towards others. Common critique brings up the possibility that other interests (in this case, the feelings of the other person) could be prioritized and therefore egoism can’t be achieved. Yet a lot of classmates, including myself, argued for all actions being inherently self-interested. Apologizing to your person, how would you consider it? Are you apologizing because they are hurt, or because you miss them?

 That’s not to imply you don’t feel regret. We’re humans, philosophy was never meant to be taken as universal truth. It’s to suggest a possible answer on whether or not it would be self serving.

 I suggest waiting for them to reach out. They could not be fully over what happened, and that’s straight chilling. I’m sure they recognize how you feel. One point in the future will come a time where both of you are on the same page in the same book. 

 “Weird Dream, Conscious Stream” was chosen because A.) I Hate Sex is stellar and B.) suggests an impossible reality for the narrator where the subject and other coexist.

 “Do You Still Hate Me?” was chosen because of the title. According to Hugh, one of the best songs ever.

 “I’m Here for The Pizzah Partie” was an obvious choice. Very obvious. Glaringly obvious. Fact. It’s fact.

I Hate Sex - Weird Dream, Conscious Stream

Jawbreaker - Do You Still Hate Me?

Two Knights - I’m Here For The Pizzah Partie

Dear Twinkledad,

I’m becoming more aware of my sudden anger and sadness outbursts. but I’m scared to go and get checked out bc I don’t want to be drugged up or I guess Face the music.

Anonymous.

Anonymous,

 Let’s say you do get checked out. If you have a mental health diagnosis, good news! You have a mental “illness”. 

 Downside: you are stuck with this for the rest of your life. 

 Upside: you have all the time in the world to learn how to cope with it. 

 Getting checked out does not mean you’ll be drugged up. If you are of age, that’s entirely in your control. There are routes of dialectical behavior therapy (or just normal therapy) you can take. Nobody’s necessarily pro-medication in all situations. It’s hard not to have some ignorance of mental health problems if you don’t have the problem for sure. Take whatever path you feel best suits your needs. 

 We are not our diagnoses. However, it can be of great help to recognize your shitty behavioral ticks and understand why you have them. The start of your question implies you have been aware of specific behavior for some time now. With that, you have already begun to face the music. If you do decide to get checked out but give it a lot of time, a diagnosis could feel like a no-brainer to you. In fact, it could be a weight lifted.

  Misdiagnosis can happen. Wrong meds, taking the medication, can happen. It’s part of coping, it sucks major ass. Time will come where mental health can feel worse than ever and like it is inescapable. The important thing is keeping your head up. I really hope you find the answers you want and or need.

 I chose “As Cool As An Attempted Suicide”, beyond what the name suggests, for its energy. It’s a fun song for its subject matter. Being sad is not necessarily always bad.

 “Why Am I Not Going Under Water?”/Snowing as a whole was an emotional crutch for me when I went through similar struggles. Galm’s vulnerability made me realize I was not alone, and hopefully it does the same for you too.

Leer - As Cool As An Attempted Suicide

Snowing - Why Am I Not Going Underwater?

Dear Twinkledad,

I've never really been in a real relationship my whole life, haven't even lost my virginity. It bothers me more than it probably should, but I feel almost desperate for a more than just a platonic relationship with someone. Wanna be able to have somebody to kiss/cuddle but seem to screw up every opportunity to have something good with someone.

Anonymous.

  Anonymous,

  A few weeks ago, I matched with someone on Bumble. We had this conversation:

 “Heyy”

 “Sorry, my mom said I can’t talk to girls.”

 “Damn that’s crazy my dad said I can’t talk to boys *frowny face emoji*”

 Then I left her on Read. Point being, everything will be okay.

 Virginity is frustrating, in theory and in practice. It shouldn’t be a crime to not be sexually active or never had a serious relationship. Yes, love is great. However, one thing you’ll most likely learn when you experience love, because you will, is you can live without it. How we’ve constructed what virginity means has set pretty high expectations of what sex is like. In actuality, it’s pretty mediocre. Fun, but as you continue to open the bag of magic sex tricks, you’ll have plenty of mixed experiences. It is not a necessity by any means.

 Love, on the other hand, is uncomfortably tied to our values. For a lot of people, having a family is their primary goal in life. I’ve seen this referred to as “honorable” multiple times as multiple people. What it does, subsequently, is pressure people into viewing sex and love as an accomplishment the same virginity does. Falling in love is an awesome feeling. Falling out of love is a terrible feeling. Experiencing neither does not put such a great weight on your shoulders like love does. To quote Quarterbacks, “love is situational”. You’ll have it. No way in hell you haven’t. The situation has yet to arise.

 Dating apps are not worth it. Love is a feeling, right? There’s no need to force it. If you are relatively new in experience, your perception of love can be greatly skewed. I’m sure, whoever you are, you are in safe hands. You’ll be carried into the world of sex and love naturally, not at your own will, where it’s inevitably messier.

 Once YOU, not anyone else, are satisfied with your romantic life, please send a message back. I wish you the best of luck knowing you have it, and just want you to be happy.

 With a lot of music, worlds tend to be created through the instrumentals and not the lyrics. “Hardly Art” always forces a great sense of introspection and how I handle myself in situations of co dependence whenever it comes on.

 “Try to Sleep”’s vocals, lyrics, and stripped back, lo-fi production echoes loneliness from all fronts.

 Closer - Hardly Art