"It's time."

: <- a bite mark

easy website

me calming down my vampire horse named website

i was not made for employment i was made to fantasize about getting shotgunned like a beer can by a vampire

if you see me bleeding out with a vampire on top of me MIND YOUR BUSINESS!!!!! i’m exactly where i want to be

worlds tallest vampire

count everest

mount dracula

Wouldn’t mind if i do

Vampire state building

my toxic trait is that i genuinely believe that the side effects of immortality won't affect me. i have so much stuff i want to learn i won't even notice the centuries go by. also i'm nosey as hell so the decades-deep gossip would keep myself from isolating from human society because i want to know what's going on. i would make such a good vampire i stand by this

people are always like "Oh a vampire wouldn't get horny while drinking someone's blood, that's like getting horny while eating a sandwich" and like man have you never had a really good fucking sandwich?

The sandwich i had for lunch didnt moan and scream and squirm against my body and then become limp and pliable when i was done now did it

Imagine a vampire sucked your blood and they didn't even pop a boner. not even half hard. fully flaccid the entire time they sucked your blood. I'd be so humiliated.

#please say sike#please say sike please say sike

okay but aging is literally a privilege. notice that

Edward to Bella

?

Please get registered and vote.

i refused to stay buried because i love you why are you running

babe it's me i'm just covered in dirt and blood because i had to claw my way up into the light and crawl on my hands and knees back home to you stop screaming

i am once again saying that vampires have so much slapstick potential. they should be getting hit by cars and shot for laughs more often

we need to drop pianos on vampires