wasteland

I await the day video game characters can realistically drink out of cups

The last one was doing so well-!

miss you (the money i spent)

i just got the "see where your blood has gone!" email from giving blood but it glitched and just showed me my current location. which. theyre not wrong. that is where most of my blood is

i love when people share music on tumblr. It's like we're all sitting on the bus passing around an iPod and i have one headphone in my ear and u have one in yours

there’s actually 100g of protein in complimenting me

Always funny to me when indie devs who already sell games for dirt cheap participate in steam sales with like 90 percent off. Like. "Yeah this game is three dollars but you can have it for one right now." Like your game costs as much as a pack of m&ms and youre selling it for the cost of a pack of m&ms in the 1950s now? Okay

"simp" this "simp" that. why do so many of u have squirrels in ur pants

You really start to understand that the “angry black woman” and “mean lesbian” stereotype only exists to shame us for the fact we get reasonably upset about people wanting to horrifically abuse us indiscriminately. Let’s get meaner !

why are art museums the only museums with cafeterias? imagine if you just got done walking through a civil war museum and there was a place offering hardtack and soup beans and really bad coffee based on the rations of a union soldier

Executive dysfunction is when there’s gas in the tank but no fuse. Either that or the engine is fine but the breaks don’t work. Or somehow both.

hi im your cat do you mind if i touch your coffee. do you mind if i put my whole foot in your coffee

I’ve lived alone cooking for one and I’ve been the main cook in the house for several people. I’ve worked with a budget of ten dollars and I’ve worked with a weekly budget of three hundred dollars. And either way there’s just never enough freezer space somehow.

Must not pick that scab off. It will not in fact get rid of the scab and just create a different scab. The scab is not done cooking yet. I am completely normal about scabs. <-gripping the edges of his chair so tightly the wood is starting to crack

i just don’t get it. where are all the women. where are all the women in your fanfictions. are they all out of town? did they all go on vacation together? do they all have a dentist appointment at the same time?

THEY ARE