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if I just had the presence of mind and the wherewithal and the chutzpah and the bandwidth and the executive function and the energy and the mental resources and the spoons and the right attitude and the capacity and the gumption and th

there's a group of high school boys in this McDonald's and I just heard one of them say "I bet you you cannae break your own arm" so something interesting might happen shortly

guy who cares way too much about proper animal husbandry and is annoying to do petplay bdsm scenes with

you've been a bad dog... what? no, i'm not gonna punish you. animals respond better to positive reinforcement. you should know that. i've only talked about it a thousand times.

There is no greater example of the selfish, antisocial, and solipsistic American spirit than the belief, held by millions, that one is entitled to set off loud and violent fireworks days before any relevant holiday or special occasion, even unto midnight

happy 4th to her

“are you ok?” no but I’m funny

sorry for finding it hot when people's hair goes grey. as if im wrong

you better fucking boycott that harry potter show. do not hate on the poor children tho.

"you wouldn't want that in real life" yeah i know it's called playing pretend, try to keep up