Twerk

women are… like pasta

i love eating both

janelle monae wrote this at 2:30 am from her samsung smart fridge

This video gave me pink eye.

i’m back at my ancestral home (lowe’s) and I just watched a very burly man in a lot of flannel carry a potted orchid SO TENDERLY across the parking lot

A sentence that starts with “i’m back at my ancestral home (lowe’s)” has to work really hard to make the end of that sentence equally as amazing and by god you’ve done it

I forgot vampire bats were a thing and thought they were referring to the folklore kind of vampire

the subtle advocation for kids to be playing in the abandoned copper mines is also not great

im the bitches

u ever just wanna…….suck on his fingers

me at the dentist :/

shut up

where’s that video of the naked crackhead literally running the speed of a moving car and I use the term literally literally he was deadass keeping up with the car

Hi! Humans don’t have an eye shine, so that’s not a person!

This shit is so hilarious

“YOU’RE FAT!! 😢” LMAO homie was hurt

actual definition of BDE

i wish british accents were real and weren’t just invented for the ppcu (peppa pig cinematic universe)