JAWS OF LIFE

Would like to apologise to all my mutuals who ever dmed me and later became a victim of my terrible communication skills 🥀🥀

here's a list of fictional characters i think have medication induced sexual dysfunction and here's a list of fictional characters i think are going off their meds specifically so they can cum and here's a second copy of both of those lists in case you throw the first ones in the garbage

my roommate keeps having to escort this same spider out of our bathtub (recognized by his sheer size and noticable missing leg) but it seems like no matter how far away from our house we relocate him to he keeps coming back eventually. at some point ive gotta respect the dedication like this bitch KNOWS where she wants to be. but like i dont know how to explain to her that this is a place of drowning. please sir. i dont speak spider.

washing your face is actually multi tasking because you are also washing your hands and forearms and shirt and countertop and feet and floor and hair

Ladies, ladies! None at a time please✋

WHICH ONE OF YE SALTY SEA DOGS SCARFED DOWN MY SESAR SALAD

WHAT YE BE TALKIN ABOUT? I DON'T SEES YER NOWHERE AAAAHARHARHARHAR

I’m gonna do something meaningful with this pain like make a tumblr post of a song link and a gif that seemingly has nothing to do with the song