TuVecinaAK

A lot of people will look at the heading of this and go "huhhh? How can Ben be anywhere NEAR aromantic?? He has like. 40 girlfriends!!" And to that I say- my darling darling reader....aromanticism is a spectrum. A wide one at that. And not everyone is going to fit the mold. Now, it's very apparent in all of the main 4 shows that Ben has a...complicated history with relationships. Almost none of his relationships have ended on good terms. For example, with Julie, the main love interest in UAF, he straight up forgot he was dating her/broke up with her until she showed up again with a new boyfriend! And then he got MAD at her😭😭 dude you flirted with like 5 girls during the time you guys were separated and you didn't even KNOW you were seperated... Just one example of him kinda being a y’know what. But this doesn't automatically point to the idea that he is Aromantic. I believe the best instance of him having a aversion to romance is in Most Dangerous Game Show, where in the beginning Rook asks him why he is avoiding Ester, which he responds with "she's been acting weird lately, I think she wants to make our relationship more...relationship-y." He clearly feels a bit avoidant and uncomfortable with the topic and as someone who is Lithromantic, I understand the feeling. In my opinion, Ben is someone who seeks out relationships for his own self gain, and disregards the needs of the other person. When the relationship is not to his standards, he throws it off to the side and forgets it ever happened. He sees romantic relationships as a transaction but only really cares about what HE gets out of them. He is a selfish teenage boy who believes the entire world revolves around him (which. In some cases, yes it does) but he drags those ideals into personal relationships as well. It isn’t a conscious or even malicious decision, but its a decision he makes constantly. And one he is not aware of, no matter how many times he fumbles someone. To him, that’s just on them, THEY did not care for the relationship enough when in fact, its the other way around. Ben has this idea of romance that he holds onto because of media he consumes/the relationships around him, but he doesn’t put enough effort into making that a reality. He puts the pressure on his partner to be the ideal lover instead. I believe he also has a strange belief he’s entitled to someone, which explains how adamant he is in pursuing a romantic relationship with Kai, despite her being an obvious independent woman. And yes, Kai does some things that are a bit suspicious, but she makes it clear she is not interested in him.

Ben doesn’t understand how romance works, nor how to navigate it in a healthy way that doesn’t hurt anyone in the process. Once he realizes he does not love someone as much as he thought he did, he disregards them immediately and goes into a state of completely avoiding romance as a whole because he thinks it's meaningless. That is, until he finds someone that piques his interest once again. A cycle that repeats itself over and over and over again…

He dislikes when people seek him out, he likes the attention, but when they get too close, he gets uncomfortable because he does not want to be seen in the same light he sees his own partners. He subconsciously understands that the way he treats the women in his life isn’t good but he doesn’t have the integrity to change. At least, not until he’s older. I don’t think he ever realizes that he doesn’t work in the romantic scene(Aka he doesn’t realize he's aro), and continues to go after it despite the failures in his past. Which only ends up hurting more people and himself. It’s like hes trying to shove the wrong key into the wrong keyhole and just WILL NOT attempt any other keys on the ring! He’s stubborn. Stuck in his ways even if someone points out the flaws.

“So what about in the future? He’s married to Kai!” Yes and I have a lot of thoughts on that. I honestly believe Kai and Ben work perfectly together, they are very similar people even if they’d hate to admit that. But I don't think they would ever willingly get MARRIED if something didn’t force them to. Cough. Kenny. Cough. They did not intend to be anything more than a fling when they met again around 26-27, but when Kai gets pregnant with Kenny, they realize they needed to be something more out of necessity. (they’ve never heard of an abortion i guess.) It’s not like they don't LOVE each other, of course they do! But if it was up to them, they’d rather be friends with benefits than a married couple. Also Ben stays with Kai because (again selfish) he believes she NEEDS him. He can’t see her living a life on her own. Also, this entire time, he’s been under the belief they were MEANT to get together in the future. A prophecy he needs to make come true because if he doesn’t…what’s to come of him? He’s desperate to have something, even if it’s not the best for both parties.