The Titan of Turtles

girl a cold glass of milk will have me gulping and moaning like an expensive victorian whore

i didnt say that.

I like to fuck around and waste time for at least ~6-10 hours per day, and let me tell you, that really puts some pressure on your schedule. you have no idea how busy I am

There's this local family owned restaurant near me that makes the best fucking chicken tenders I've had in my life and I desperately need to know the recipe in case I move away but its a secret family recipe and I'm this 👌🏽 close to asking if they have a single adult son so I can marry in to the family just for these fucking chicken tenders. Anyway there's a possible fake marriage fanfic plot for you

a scientist will see a mouse and say put that beast in a situation

children’s book authors do this also