Local turtledoggo @turtledoggo - Tumblr Blog

If your spouse isn't compatible with the wii wheel, why did you even marry?

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hotvampireadjacent

does anyone have that 4chan greentext about giving in a future dystopia run by corporations and that guy gets a sams club platinum and escapes from wallmart or some shit like that. wanted to show a friend

toastpotent-deactivated20250619

"sams club" "walmart" you fake fucking fan. it was costco

k-simplex-deactivated20241001

what the fuck are you trying to sell me

valtsv

girls go to college to get more knowledge. men go to svalbard to die in the polar night.

valtsv

wait fr

oh my god

valtsv

men when they die in svalbard

loyalshipper

valtsv

and waste fresh meat???

beepost-generator

I didn't think that it would be more wild, but it is. Terrifying.

seidmadr-secrets

Oh yes. The graveyard is quarantined.

Longyearbyen has some other nice laws, such as it being illegal to lock the doors of houses and cars (so that people can escape polar bears), or it being illegal to leave the town without firearms (so that people can defend themselves from polar bears.)

Is a pretty cool place.

digitaldiscipline

yes, but it's the coolness, if not downright coldness, that makes it fucked up.

gayvian

waspinfested

why are you calling him green shrek?? shrek is already green??

indoraptorz

sulferandwater-deactivated20211

No one is regular, everyone is extraordinary

inthefallofasparrow

Fixed

inthefallofasparrow

double--cross-d

This post is a train wreck.

inthefallofasparrow

gaymoods

Why do you need to put ordinary? Shouldn’t it just be the words without the adjective?

inthefallofasparrow

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tsatsuma69

bees?

tsatsuma69

to elaborate:

- her parents didn't belive she was hearing "monsters" in the walls. it was 60,000 bees

- she is 3 years old

- her parents gave her a spray bottle to "spray away the monsters". it was 60,000 bees

- they didn't belive her for 8 minths

- removal cost them $20,000 BECAUSE IT WAS 60,000 BEES!!!!!!

hometoursandotherstuff

rongzhi

astronnova

Imagine buying pasta and discovering that each piece in the bag is individually wrapped.

#shitpost

niyarest

[x]

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charlottevstapleton

izzetheking

I hope this cat didnt kill any of those birds .

thefeelingiswat-deactivated2013

rlmjob

wow you actually found a practical use for that reaction image

cronope-blog

holy shit

yaldabaothadeez

While I nodded, nearly napping, suddenly there came a slapping,

As of some one gently flapping, flapping at my chamber door.

“’Tis some fairy,” I muttered, “slapping at my chamber door—

Only this and nothing more.”

wintersoldierfell

Quoth the walrus, "Are you sure?"

toad-in-a-trenchcoat

had to draw it

timemachineyeah

Spirit Animal is racist.

Patronus was invented by a transphobe.

I think it’s time we all suck it up and say what we mean: fursona.

xxlovelynovaxx-deactivated20241

I know this is a jokey post (rip OPs notes) but a fursona is typically an animal REPRESENTATION of YOURSELF, not an external animal that is strongly meaningful to you and your life/journey.

I've seen daemon and familiar proposed, but to keep in line with the cursedness of the original post, may I suggest: spiritual tamagotchi

timemachineyeah

do you have any idea how refreshing it is to see a correction/suggestion to this post that actually understands the assignment

thememedaddy

larval-tear

i need a peon

himborc

something need doing?

larval-tear

my man

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one-time-i-dreamt

On April Fools', Tumblr changed the double tap to like feature into double to tap to dislike. A new note was added to Tumblr that were "dislikes" and everyone on desktop really hated mobile users for a good month but all dislikes disappeared after April except that mobile users who disliked something had a permanent ‘hater’ badge on their profile once dislikes disappeared.