you’ve gotta stat romanticizing your life. you gotta start believing that your morning commute is cute and fun, that every cup of coffee is the best you’ve ever had, that even the smallest and most mundane things are exciting and new. you have to, because that’s when you start truly living. that’s when you look forward to every day. 

Good advice

I agree john mulaney is probably an immortal akin to beings such as keanu reeves and jeff goldblum but he’s like a new born baby immortal who is looking at the long long expanse of a lifetime he has in front of him and is already tired

jeff golblum is thousands of years old and loving it. john mulaney was born in 1901 and ever since 1924 it’s gone downhill for him

this is david lynch erasure

Who are the female immortals?

Somebody give this ignoramus a piece of actual shark skin and tell him to rub his face with it, let him find out just how “smooth” sharks really are.

Somebody did. I use it as a pillowcase because it’s so smooth.

Buddy. It’s smooth. The link you sent me led to a website that described how smooth they are. I dunno, maybe you don’t know how to read?

this post is transcendent

THIS IS THE BEST MYTHOLOGY COMIC I’VE EVER SEEN HOLY SHIT

The amount of notes this doesn’t have bothers me…

if only we had followed marina diamandis rules we wouldn’t even have to consider following dua lipa’s