Summary:Ā With the war declared over, the paladins decide to take a much deserved vacation. And since Keith has nowhere to go, Lance decides to bring him along to meet the McClains. While Lance is thrilled to be home, he carries a lot of baggage these days, which makes it hard to fit back in. Time changes a person and Lance finds that even though heās finally getting everything he thought he needed to be happy, the only person heād ever truly found āhomeā with had been fighting beside him the whole time.
āIām not, like, interested in youā¦ like that.ā
Lying in bed, sheets tangled around his legs, Keith stared up at the ceiling and mindlessly allowed Lanceās words to strangle his thoughts.
āāitās not likeālike I want to marry you or somethingāā
Swallowing hard, he blinked against the emotion that was swelling behind his eyes. He shouldnāt be surprised at Lanceās words, really. If heād been at all interested in Keith ālike that,ā heād have said something a long time ago. Which Keith had always kind of known. Theyād never talked about such things before, despite how close they were, so heād allowed the hope to fester despite actively pushing against it. Despite talking himself out of it and constantly telling himself it was never going to happen, heād always thought, maybe, somedayā¦
Heād been kidding himself.
His whole body throbbed around him, feeling like a heavy, exposed nerve atop the mattress. A single tear escaped and streaked its way down the side of his face.
Lance had said it himself, that he wanted to find someone, to get married, to have kids. To create a perfect future. Keith had always known that Lance wanted these things, even if theyād rarely talked outright about it. What an idiot heād been, thinking that somehow, some way, maybe heād end up being Lanceās future someone. That in some miraculous deviation from everything theyād ever been, suddenly, Lance would want him in a way he never had before.
Truth be told, Keith had never cared what that meantāwhat defined Lanceās future āsomeone.ā Sure, Lance talked about marriage and kids and whatever, but Keith had always figured that if he could somehow fill that role, heād take anything. Deluded himself, even, into thinking that maybe he and Lance already had that significance with each other, theyād just never transparently discussed it. Even though Keith had heard Lance on multiple occasions talk about wanting more. More than what they hadāmore than what he wanted from Keith.
What a joke. He should have known better. Somehow, heād become comfortable in the quiet, unacknowledged falsity of his and Lanceās relationship. Heād convinced himself against every reality that proved otherwise that he and Lanceās relationship was different, that it was okay they werenāt direct or forthright, because they had something deeperāsomething more profound. He knew better now, of course. Heād learned over the years that, generally, people, things, situations, they were obvious in their truths no matter what was said or done. If someone was shifty, then they were probably lying about something. If something was too good to be true, then it usually was. If there was a crack, then a break was inevitable.
Falling in love with Lanceā¦ He was getting his just desserts now. Years heād willingly lied to himself. Known heād been doing it, but gone ahead anyway.
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