Chillin'.

If you serve me my food like that, I'm going to summon the spirits of all the poor people you gentrified out of this area to haunt you until you learn to cook like a normal person.

I literally can not pick what's worse

This is by far my most successful post on tumblr and I am really fucking glad because my main man Boris deserves to be recognized for his work. Even if its mostly getting passed around in the form of memes about cheese.

when you’re a kid and you’re feeling weird and detached and you fall asleep in the late afternoon with school clothes still on and you wake up and its dark and dinner is almost done and time feels like a thick jelly 

“I’M GETTING BETTER”

Bring out your dead. Eh, close enough.

IM NOT YET DEAD SIR

You left out the part where the ant, believing HERSELF to be dead, stayed in self imposed exile in the ant graveyard until the acid wore off and she realized she was not supposed to be in the ant graveyard.

@finite-experience, this seems like the sort of thing you’d like to see

Ant 2, returning to the colony: i lived bitch

😂 😂 😂 😂 😂

POLAR BEAR???!!!???!!???

gays are too much. i hate us

this reporter had absolutely no clue how to respond to any of that 😂

fjdjshdkjdjfsk

*SNIFF SNIFF*

What gets me is that after the dog realized they were kinda scared, he/she lied down so the cows could be in control and feel safer. Such love. Animals are amazing.

when dadda calls me.

i the snail.

everybody here is perfect

I have never seen a happier snail omg