Land Of Skies And Masks

I always know its getting toasty out in the world because girls start reblogging this post like crazy

and, look, I’m not complaining, not at all, but this is why it’s very important to be abundantly clear and specific with your Etsy witch.

my disservice dog is trying to lick the salt off my mall pretzel

OP sorry to crash your post but was your favourite boba kiosk the boba yaga thing???

had some time to chat with the verizon wireless guy while my phone was getting set up and he’s a straight guy it turns out he has two moms and used to DJ for drag events. culturally LGBT

My grandma just called and, among other things, said “You have hips. That’s good! Men like hips!” and then she interrupted herself to say “Women like hips. People of your preferred gender like hips. I can never remember”  And I was like “Thanks grandma! My preferred gender is none of them, no thanks.” and she was like “Okay, no one will comment on your hips!” very self satisfied, like “aha, I have figured it out” I think like half her grandkids are some variety of not-straight and she can’t always remember which is which but she is the epitome of like “she’s a little confused, but she’s got the spirit!”

Update: I gave it some thought and my estimate was wrong. Of the grandkids that are out, it’s 1/3, not ½

I told my grandma that I’d told my friends about what she said and that some of y’all had said you wished she was your grandma, and she said “Well, you can never have too many grandkids!”  So like…consider her your honorary grandma* I guess? *if you want an honorary grandma, that is

Update on my grandma: I told her my hair was standing up, but instead of straight line it was diagonal and she said “That’s okay, you’ve never been straight!” and then laughed so hard at her own joke I thought she was going to drop the phone

Happy almost pride month! Have my confused-but-supportive grandma!

An update: my grandma just called me to ask if I knew it was pride month

Happy pride month!!

do not go to Dr. Kenneth Wolf for top surgery

OH AND ALSO when I asked if he could swap my left and right nipples just for the hell of it he said “yeah sure lol” but apparently you’re not supposed to do that because there is the risk of like, manually metastasizing cancer cells. lol. I did ask for it and I think I am at very low risk for breast cancer but I do think a responsible surgeon should at least know about and warn you of that possibility before agreeing to it.

*gets back to the nest* baby you are NEVER gonna believe how i got this fish

Put your harpy girl in a harness, then attach a big rope to the harness, then take her to the park and fly her like a kite

☝️Probrlem

Whats the problem

omg guys i have an idea. lets all live in subterranian houses, which protrude from the earth only by alabaster painted windcatching towers and minarets for cooling!