The Unbreakable Truce

Bear religion probably fucking rocks. You're a fucking bear, you're the deadliest thing on earth, once a year an endless supply of salmon just flings itself up the river to gorge on and then you nap for 3 months.

The most delicious food in the world is protected by tiny demons who can defend it from everyone except you. Your natural armor is thick enough that you can just eat the damn hive while they buzz around you. God's chosen animals right there

love the idea of bears being the chosen species actually. having a near death experience and glimpsing heaven and realising it's just full of bears, no humans at all, humans not ensouled actually, humans an accidental byproduct of God's plan for bears

it's easy to make fun of marxists for being like "we have a special way of understanding society called Thinking About Things That Are Real" but to be fair if you ask the average person what their ideas about society are based on they will start listing some of the Least Real things to ever not exist

Asunder is basically the most classic way to be torn, and if you're looking to be cleft, in twain is a vintage but stunning choice

im actually cleft in twain right now can i call you back

slamming the big red button on my desk labeled "bweh" over and over again to no discernible effect

You will never understand the mental torture of being 12 years old and having a debilitating crush on Hugo Weaving Elrond & having to lie to ur friends and say you like Legolas Orlando bloom like all the other girls so you don’t get fucking bullied

Now I’m 35 and I have a live sized cardboard Elrond who lives on my stairwell & I kiss him every time I go upstairs so anyway the moral of the story is never kill yourself

The life-size cutout of Shelob who lives on the stairwell begs to differ.

slamming the big red button on my desk labeled "bweh" over and over again to no discernible effect