“Stop! That tickles!” you giggled. You squirmed slightly as you stood in the soft morning light with your shirt bunched up beneath your chest and belly exposed to the cool air.
Wonwoo was kneeling in front of you with a pink sharpie in his hand. He looked determined, but also mildly frustrated, as he stared at his latest attempt at drawing a heart shape around your navel. Your belly was still small but no longer entirely flat,
“Babe,” he groaned. He sat back on his heels with the sharpie still uncapped in one hand while the other rubbed at his temple. “Just stay still for one second. I need this heart to be perfect or it won’t look good in the pictures.”
You rolled your eyes and playfully crossed your arms over your chest. “You’ve already drawn four crooked ones. I think the baby will forgive you if it’s not Instagram-worthy.”
Your husband looked up at you with that soft grin that always managed to melt your irritation. “This is for our baby’s album, not social media. I want them to see everything and how much we loved them before they even arrived.”
Something about that simple statement made your breath catch. Even after all the years together, all the heartbreak and the six losses you never fully healed from, Wonwoo still had the ability to see hope. And to believe in it.
He reached forward and pressed a kiss to your belly, right over the half-formed heart, and whispered something you couldn’t quite hear. You felt the warmth of his breath and the soft scratch of his stubble. But most of all, you felt the gravity of his love.
You were ten weeks along. The bump wasn’t obvious yet. If anything, you just looked like you had a heavy meal. But Wonwoo noticed everything. The slight curve of your abdomen. The way your hand would sometimes drift to rest there without thinking. The tiredness in your eyes in the evenings, and the small shifts in your appetite. To him, those little changes were signs of life. It was proof that the tiny bean growing inside you was still holding on.
And so, every week since the hospital talk, he had been documenting everything. He turned your hallway into a makeshift studio, with white backdrop, fairy lights, even a ring light he ordered online “just to get the right glow.”
His camera, which he would often use for moody cityscapes and random low-light portraits, now clicked infinite pictures of you. Either laughing, crying, or eating pickles and peanut butter at midnight. But his favourite was when you’d nap with your head on his shoulder while he rubbed soothing circles on your back.
It had started as a simple idea: a photo every week, just to track the journey. But it quickly turned into a full-on project. Wonwoo was capturing memories. Moments. Little evidence of the love you already carried for someone you hadn’t even met yet.
“Turn a little this way,” he instructed, clicking his tongue as he looked through the viewfinder. “Okay, now place your hands under the bump — yes, like that. Perfect.”
You posed. But at the same time you tried not to laugh at how serious he looked, crouched like a professional photographer with a camera strap dangling from his neck. Like the professional he was, he moved with quiet precision as he snapped photo after photo, then stepping forward to adjust your hair or reposition the lighting with gentle hands.
The room was filled with nothing but shutter clicks and your soft laughter.
╴╴╴╴╴
Later when the mini photo-shoot was over, Wonwoo sat with you on the sofa. Your legs were stretched out over his lap while he edited all the photos he shot. The photos were beautiful. Natural and radiant. You simply looked so happy. Soft and full of a glow you didn’t realised you were carrying.
“See? This is what I want our baby to see.” Wonwoo showed you one photo in particular. It was a candid moment where you were looking down at your belly as you faintly smiled with a hand resting protectively over it.
“I want them to know how deeply they were wanted.”
You pressed your face into his shoulder to hide the sudden wave of emotion. “I’m scared to want this too much,” you admitted. Wonwoo didn’t respond immediately. He just kept stroking your arm gently, his fingers finding their familiar rhythm against your skin.
“We can be scared. That’s okay. But let’s still hope anyway” he finally said.
It was easier said than done.
Every time you dared to hope, every time you picked out names, imagined nursery colours, imagined what your baby would look like with your nose or his eyes — it always ended up with you lying within the four hospital walls.
But this time was different — or so Dr. Jung insisted.
The frequent checkups helped. Every week, she ran another ultrasound, checked your hormone levels, and adjusted medications. There were more tubes and blood draws than you wanted to count, and more nights lying awake wondering if every cramp or twinge was a sign of another loss.
But each visit so far had ended with the same sound: a stable, tiny heartbeat. The baby was holding on.
Dr. Jung was cautiously optimistic. With the added progesterone and hormone therapy, your body was supporting the embryo better than ever before. And with constant surveillance, she said she could catch the earliest signs of complication.
You remembered her words clearly: “We’re not waiting for something to go wrong. We’re staying ahead of it this time.”
It helped having her in your corner. She said the embryo had implanted in a healthy area. Your uterus was responding well to the hormones. Your blood flow was better than expected. The baby had a good chance — better than any of your previous pregnancies.
Still, the fear lingered. It always did.
You remember one night, when Wonwoo was already asleep, where you sat up in bed, hand resting lightly on your stomach. The room was dark, save for the glow of the moon through the window. “Please stay. Just this once…stay” you’d whisper softly.
The next morning, you found a small sticky note taped to the bathroom mirror in Wonwoo’s familiar handwriting.
▏We already love you more than life. Stay with us, little one.”
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bring your child to work | jeon wonwoo | a nothing new drabble
pairing: chaebol!husband!Wonwoo x chaebol!fem!reader
content: arranged marriage
read the rest of the series here
Wonwoo prides himself in the serious, intimidating face he puts on when he goes to work. His work persona if you will. He's not super friendly but still kind and respectful to his employees. He's outspoken but also a good listener. He has a sharp memory and doesn't need to write everything down. The connections he builds, the long hours he pours into his work. It's all worth it.
So on this fine winter morning, he strides past his employees with his cold serious face on.
And Jae in his arms.
Wonwoo prefers to keep his personal life separate from his work life. All those charity events and randoms balls and weird formals that you've attended with your husband are all for potential investors not his employees. Aside from the two frames on his desk- one of his wedding day and the other of his the three of you, his employees have not seen you or your son in person. They obviously know what you look like- having read numerous articles about your family and your marriage- anything to learn more about what you look like. You’re stunning, beauty incapable of being described with words and next to Wonwoo, the two of you make a very attractive pair. But other than that, they know nothing about you.
Needless to say, they've always been curious about what sane woman would marry a man like their boss.
Everyone turns to look at this small child in a furry bear onesie- a spitting image of their boss, gripping his usually slicked back hair, babbling all the way to his office.
-
The conference room is silent as everyone watches Wonwoo walk in with his ipad in one arm and his son in the other.
“Erm,” Wonwoo starts, staring at 15 curious faces.
"I hope you will excuse this. My wife got called into a big meeting last minute, my in-laws are on vacation, my parents live too far for me to get here on time, my housekeeper is sick, and Jeff is also sick so here we are," Wonwoo says all in one breath.
“My wife will stop by later to take him but for now my son will be joining us for our daily briefing.” He pauses. “Any questions before we begin?”
“How old is he?” Sarah asks. “2.”
“Can I hold him?” John asks. Wonwoo pauses and looks down at Jae who is currently gripping his tie. “Maybe next time- he’s been interested in pulling hair lately as you saw earlier and I don’t want him to ruin your hair.”
Everyone chuckles. Some of his employees come closer to touch Jae’s foot or arm and he giggles, enjoying all the attention.
Eventually the meeting begins without a hitch. Wonwoo presents his latest updates with Jae fast asleep on his shoulder. Wonwoo carries Jae back to his office when his meeting is over. Jae wakes up fussy and extremely hungry, clutching Wonwoo’s suit collar until he brings out a container with Jae’s breakfast.
Jae’s sitting on the floor with Mr. Bear when you make your way to Wonwoo’s office around lunchtime.
“Hi my love!” you coo as you pick up your son who looks extremely happy to see you. Wonwoo walks over to you, placing his hand around your waist, pressing his chest against your back to play with Jae’s foot.
Unbeknownst to the three of you, Wonwoo’s team is crowded together talking about you.
“She’s even prettier in person!”
“Her aura is incredible!”
“She’s such a good match for Wonwoo-si.”
Wonwoo presses a kiss to your temple and rests his head against yours with a sigh.
“He’s such a good toddler,” he says with a soft smile. “He slept throughout my whole meeting!” You gasp and pinch Jae’s cheek. “Were you a good boy for Appa?”
Jae buries his face in his shoulder and you and Wonwoo laugh.
You hope life is always as simple and happy as this.
“Stop! That tickles!” you giggled. You squirmed slightly as you stood in the soft morning light with your shirt bunched up beneath your chest and belly exposed to the cool air.
Wonwoo was kneeling in front of you with a pink sharpie in his hand. He looked determined, but also mildly frustrated, as he stared at his latest attempt at drawing a heart shape around your navel. Your belly was still small but no longer entirely flat,
“Babe,” he groaned. He sat back on his heels with the sharpie still uncapped in one hand while the other rubbed at his temple. “Just stay still for one second. I need this heart to be perfect or it won’t look good in the pictures.”
You rolled your eyes and playfully crossed your arms over your chest. “You’ve already drawn four crooked ones. I think the baby will forgive you if it’s not Instagram-worthy.”
Your husband looked up at you with that soft grin that always managed to melt your irritation. “This is for our baby’s album, not social media. I want them to see everything and how much we loved them before they even arrived.”
Something about that simple statement made your breath catch. Even after all the years together, all the heartbreak and the six losses you never fully healed from, Wonwoo still had the ability to see hope. And to believe in it.
He reached forward and pressed a kiss to your belly, right over the half-formed heart, and whispered something you couldn’t quite hear. You felt the warmth of his breath and the soft scratch of his stubble. But most of all, you felt the gravity of his love.
You were ten weeks along. The bump wasn’t obvious yet. If anything, you just looked like you had a heavy meal. But Wonwoo noticed everything. The slight curve of your abdomen. The way your hand would sometimes drift to rest there without thinking. The tiredness in your eyes in the evenings, and the small shifts in your appetite. To him, those little changes were signs of life. It was proof that the tiny bean growing inside you was still holding on.
And so, every week since the hospital talk, he had been documenting everything. He turned your hallway into a makeshift studio, with white backdrop, fairy lights, even a ring light he ordered online “just to get the right glow.”
His camera, which he would often use for moody cityscapes and random low-light portraits, now clicked infinite pictures of you. Either laughing, crying, or eating pickles and peanut butter at midnight. But his favourite was when you’d nap with your head on his shoulder while he rubbed soothing circles on your back.
It had started as a simple idea: a photo every week, just to track the journey. But it quickly turned into a full-on project. Wonwoo was capturing memories. Moments. Little evidence of the love you already carried for someone you hadn’t even met yet.
“Turn a little this way,” he instructed, clicking his tongue as he looked through the viewfinder. “Okay, now place your hands under the bump — yes, like that. Perfect.”
You posed. But at the same time you tried not to laugh at how serious he looked, crouched like a professional photographer with a camera strap dangling from his neck. Like the professional he was, he moved with quiet precision as he snapped photo after photo, then stepping forward to adjust your hair or reposition the lighting with gentle hands.
The room was filled with nothing but shutter clicks and your soft laughter.
╴╴╴╴╴
Later when the mini photo-shoot was over, Wonwoo sat with you on the sofa. Your legs were stretched out over his lap while he edited all the photos he shot. The photos were beautiful. Natural and radiant. You simply looked so happy. Soft and full of a glow you didn’t realised you were carrying.
“See? This is what I want our baby to see.” Wonwoo showed you one photo in particular. It was a candid moment where you were looking down at your belly as you faintly smiled with a hand resting protectively over it.
“I want them to know how deeply they were wanted.”
You pressed your face into his shoulder to hide the sudden wave of emotion. “I’m scared to want this too much,” you admitted. Wonwoo didn’t respond immediately. He just kept stroking your arm gently, his fingers finding their familiar rhythm against your skin.
“We can be scared. That’s okay. But let’s still hope anyway” he finally said.
It was easier said than done.
Every time you dared to hope, every time you picked out names, imagined nursery colours, imagined what your baby would look like with your nose or his eyes — it always ended up with you lying within the four hospital walls.
But this time was different — or so Dr. Jung insisted.
The frequent checkups helped. Every week, she ran another ultrasound, checked your hormone levels, and adjusted medications. There were more tubes and blood draws than you wanted to count, and more nights lying awake wondering if every cramp or twinge was a sign of another loss.
But each visit so far had ended with the same sound: a stable, tiny heartbeat. The baby was holding on.
Dr. Jung was cautiously optimistic. With the added progesterone and hormone therapy, your body was supporting the embryo better than ever before. And with constant surveillance, she said she could catch the earliest signs of complication.
You remembered her words clearly: “We’re not waiting for something to go wrong. We’re staying ahead of it this time.”
It helped having her in your corner. She said the embryo had implanted in a healthy area. Your uterus was responding well to the hormones. Your blood flow was better than expected. The baby had a good chance — better than any of your previous pregnancies.
Still, the fear lingered. It always did.
You remember one night, when Wonwoo was already asleep, where you sat up in bed, hand resting lightly on your stomach. The room was dark, save for the glow of the moon through the window. “Please stay. Just this once…stay” you’d whisper softly.
The next morning, you found a small sticky note taped to the bathroom mirror in Wonwoo’s familiar handwriting.
▏We already love you more than life. Stay with us, little one.”
summary: after being released from prison for a crime he never committed, jaehyun sets out to conjure up the perfect plan in order to keep up the façade that he’s happily married and is out living his best life— by kidnapping a complete stranger and forcing them to pose as his wife to gain his inheritance.
genre. ex convict!jaehyun x tap dancer!f!reader | 90’s au, strangers to lovers
warnings. angst, (some) fluff, smut, age gap (jaehyun is late 30’s/reader’s in her early 20’s), smoking (cigs), kidnapping, manipulation, gaslighting, stockholm syndrome, physical violence, knifeplay, dubcon, fingering, unprotected s*x, loss of virginity, breeding, more warnings to be added once the full fic is up! teaser wc -> 1.7k
inspired by the film ‘buffalo 66’
disclaimer: everything i write is purely fictional, none of it is meant to portray real interpretations of these people nor am i claiming it to be!
for three years, he was certain he knew how to play this. three whole years, he’d made phone calls from prison and pretended he lived a life he could scarcely imagine. it started with shame and grew from there. he didn’t care about disappointing his parents, but his grandmother wouldn’t have recovered if she’d known where he was— behind bars fabricating these outlandish tales all for her sake.
his grandmother wanted nothing more than for him to meet a nice girl to settle down with. someone who’d love him right; a girl who’d look beyond all the baggage he carried and devote herself to him; a girl who’d keep him out of trouble and one he could put down roots with.
and jaehyun did, but in his other life.
in that life, he’d transitioned from a blue-collar existence working as a mechanic to the lavish lifestyle of a wealthy executive. he’d mastered the art of schmoozing with the owner of the auto repair shop to secure his slot with the big corporate elites. from there, he climbed the ladder that steered him out of trouble and jet-setted around the world.
in that life, he had his own office and a secretary. he had a pretty little wife who loved him and thought the sun rose and fell with him. in that life, he was too busy to spend time with his grandmother and when she passed away, he internalized the guilt of not only lying to her but breaking her heart too.
now only one thing mattered.
his fictitious life that’d cost him so much could now earn his inheritance of cash. that was the stipulation written in the will— that he live on the straight and narrow and marry a nice girl.
but as he’s forced to come face to face with all the endless lies he never wanted to tell, after three years, he’d have to keep lying because jaehyun had to materialize a pretty, sweet wife who loved him, the nice girl he’d chose to settle down with. but truth be told, he didn’t know any nice girls.
he knew stone-cold bitches who ripped his heart out for sport. he knew many aloof upper east side princesses that made damn sure he knew his place— in their thousand thread count sheets for a good time only. it turned out those trust fund nepo babies in three-piece suits were just good for making money, not fucking.
those men put their girls up in lavish digs and jaehyun did his part. he left them crying and coming and begging for him to stay as he shucked back into his clothes before their wall street fiancé returned home. those were mutually parasitic set-ups. he often never saw them again and never really cared that he didn’t.
and so it was; no nice girls who’d come up behind him and kiss his cheek while he sat in a recliner and watched the football game on sundays; no nice girls who’d make him his favorite dinner after a long day of work; no nice girls who’d offer themselves up as dessert with their legs spread and heart open and whisper words of love before falling asleep in his arms.
he’d once wanted that but didn’t have time for that shit anymore. it was all fairy tale garbage. even with nice girls, things often went south. marriages turned loveless and people got their kicks elsewhere. his grandmother lived in a different time. she meant well for his sake, but whatever her dream was for him with love, it just wasn’t going to pan out.
jaehyun stared at the quarter and shook his head with a sigh. he’d have to wing it. he slotted the coin again and punched in his parents’ number before doubt sunk it’s claws into him.
after a few rings, a disgruntled greeting rips through the other end of the line along with a cacophony of background noise— the TV blaring at full volume and the erratic shuffling of papers. he honestly wasn’t sure if it was his two-pack-a-day mother or father who answered. at some point, they both started sounding alike, one unit of congruent misery and loathing for the life they shared.
“hey it’s me,” jaehyun spoke, awaiting a response on the other end.
“who?” the demand was his mother’s. his father rarely answered the phone for this precise reason—it could be his son calling. jaehyun wasn’t moved enough to care. in fact, being disenfranchised from the family was a badge of honor. he’d wear it proudly, but first he wanted his money.
“jaehyun,” he snipped, cutting off the unraveling ends of his patience.
“sorry, who?” her gravel tone became more agitated and with more schlepping of shit in the background, as if fabricating an excuse to hang up; too goddamn busy clipping coupons to talk.
“jaehyun, your son!” he shouted in irritation, “turn the damn TV down, ma!”
“you two made it in town okay? your flight was good?” she asked to check the box of common decency, only to say that she did and not because she cared.
jaehyun cleared his throat and tried to sound jet lagged. he hadn’t been on a plane in more than a decade. what the fuck did he know about it? not shit.
“yeah, it was fine. we’re at the hotel now. i’m calling from the lobby. it’s packed here.” he lied through his teeth so effortlessly, it was second nature for him. every hiccup had an explanation, every background noise an excuse.
“we’re at the fancy hotel, with room service, champagne, the whole nine yards.” jaehyun rested his elbow on top of the pay phone case and cradled his forehead in his palm. “yes the one downtown on madison ave. it’s a big room, it’s beautiful here you’ll love it. it’s the most expensive hotel in the area.”
“no, don’t come here ma,” he quickly interjects, “i said we’ll go to you, okay?”
“come for dinner. we wanna finally get to meet our daughter-in-law. you’ve been talking about her for so long!”
jaehyun stiffened, fiddling with the phone cord. “she’s not coming. she’s sick.”
the excuse was too defensive. his mother didn’t suffer fools or bullshitters, to which jaehyun found himself guilty of both.
“what do you mean she’s not coming?” she demanded. the intermittent drags of her cigarette came quicker; so too did the forceful exhales. “she’s coming.”
“no, she’s sick. she’s not coming, alright? i’m her husband, the man of the house. i vowed to protect her, in sickness and in health, all that shit. i’m not making her go.”
“why is she sick?”
jaehyun gritted his teeth. the question infuriated him on behalf of his imaginary wife. what gave his mother the right to pry?
“i don’t fucking know! woman problems. she’s in bed sleeping. i’m not waking her up. she needs to rest.”
“well she can lie on the couch here with a heating pad,” his mother insisted with more artificial sugar, as if she cared. she didn’t; not for him or his wife. “just bring her over. we want to meet her.”
jaehyun was fuming at this point. if it weren’t for the metal cord tethering him to the spot, he’d pace. instead, he punctuated each word with a sharp jab of his finger, though there was no one here to see. his voice crowded the hall and echoed around him.
“so you want me to ride my ass all the way up the elevator, drag my sick wife out of bed, and bring her over? is that really what you want?”
the honey vacated his mother’s voice and left behind all that was rotten beneath.
“i know why you’re coming, and you know the agreement,” she hissed. “show up with your ‘nice girl’ or you’ll leave here empty-handed.”
“fine!” he raged with no recourse to refuse, cornered now unless he wanted to come clean but he doubled down instead. “she’s fucking sick, but i’ll pull my beautiful wife out of our fancy hotel bed, drag her into the cold, and bring her over for your shitty cooking. wait ’til you see how sweet she is. how are you gonna feel when she’s at your place feeling like shit? huh? you gonna feel good about that?”
with a cutting laugh, his mother revealed the vivid hues of her true colors. try as she might to paint over them, they always ended up mottled and drab.
“i can assure you i’ll lose no sleep over it. not a wink. so, you’re coming?”
“i said we’re fucking coming!” jaehyun slammed the receiver back to it’s cradle hard enough that the pay phone bell responded with a crying ring. he ran his fingers through the loose length of his hair and released a heavy sigh but felt no better for it.
he had well and truly dug his own grave with this one. the worst part? he’d already gone and made plans for his inheritance. he’d get his job back at the auto shop and get a few years under his belt, enough to get his “working hands” back.
he’d leave new york city for good and head out west where money would last, and he could relish simple dreams. he’d leave behind a muted existence and live in the desert painted in coral and gold and drink in the purple dusk. he’d buy a little house and live out his days in simple peace. it was a lot of money he was coming into, but not much he was asking for.
he sunk further into defeat now. he’d wallow there, but as you emerged from the bathroom delicately enough and with enough misplaced compassion written on your face, it was obvious you had overheard.
and what did you overhear? a man trying to get his poor, sick wife out of dinner plans. not just that, but apparently, a gallant albeit foul-mouthed knight in shining armor defending his beloved from forced family bonding.
you hovered at the end of the hall and stared at him inquisitively. big, doe-like eyes peering at him as if you had gotten him all wrong, the corners of your mouth lifted with a youthful smile. jaehyun stared back at you. neither of you making any sudden movement, but for far different reasons.
maybe you thought he was a good man after all, a tender man beneath the rough and uncouth exterior. but soon enough you would learn to your detriment just how wrong you’ve been…
there will be a taglist for this if anyone’s interested, so lmk if you wish to be tagged once it’s posted! <3 (i plan to get this finished by next month or so but we’ll see)
“I make no promises, I can't do golden rings, but I'll give you everything tonight”
Pairing: Mafia Leader!Jaehyun x female reader (bakery/cafe owner)
Genre: Friends to lovers au, fluff, smut and angst
Warnings: gun and violence mention, blood mention, murder, stalking, alcohol mention, Minors DNI!
Smut (unprotected sex, knife play, impregnation kink, rough sex, overstimulation, public sex, car sex)
Word Count: 13k
((A/N: WELL...its been some time, I apologize :( We got two new characters hehe! Also, if you are. jjk fan, the getou version is on our AO3 ;) I hope you enjoy this part, there will be a few more, Im thinking of actually publishing this one so I would love to receive feedback if you have any! Thank youuuu <3)
-------------
[A month later]
“Hey..what do you want to drink?” Your friend taps your shoulder to awaken you from your daze.
With the music booming and the lights flashing, you’d think you’d be wide awake in the club, but the truth was you were thinking about him.
You missed him. You missed his smile, his voice, his comfort. Sure, he was mean when he left, but it didn’t stop your heart from falling in love with him. Although, your mind knew better. He wanted nothing to do with you, so why think about him?
“I’ll take cranberry vodka.” You nod at her.
After a few minutes she hands the drink to you and smiles. “I’m so happy you got a break. Let’s go dance!”
And so you down your drink and head to the dance floor, doing your best to push his image and touch out of your head.
You twirl around, moving your hips freely to the music and feeling your head become heavier by the second.
After nearly 20 minutes you stumble towards the back in search of the bathroom.
“It’s down the hall, honey.” Another bartender points.
You sigh as you relieve yourself. Few things felt as good as peeing while drunk. You look at yourself in the mirror, laughing at how dizzy you felt. But damn were you hot, you went with the perfect dress tonight, how could you not get any attention from the men out there?
Well, you’ll just have to try again, you thought to yourself and stepped out after washing your hands. The only problem with this plan is that you accidentally turned in the opposite direction and left through the back door of the club.
By the time you realized and turned around to get back in, the heavy metal door slammed shut. “Shit.”
You balance yourself on the wall and walk around, and just as you turn the corner you see something familiar.
It’s Jaehyun’s car.
Your eyes widen, your brain immediately pushing away your desire for any male attention other than his. Wait, why are you like this? He doesn’t want you, remember?
But still, it wouldn’t hurt to get a glimpse of him, right?
You walk towards his car and look up at the building it’s parked in front of.
The building is dark, except for one floor with lit up bulbs. Tipsy and without a plan, you head up to it.
The area is sketchy so you really shouldn’t be snooping around, but you text your friends you’ll be back.
As you approach the level, you hear a lot of talking and arguing. You then peek through a hole in a wall separating the hall from the lit up room and see a man tied up in a chair with a bag over his head.
You look to the left to see Jaehyun. The man of your dreams wears a black t-shirt and jeans, and still looks wonderful.
Your eyes widen when you see him wiping a knife with a long blade clean, blood stains the cloth and you breathe heavily as you notice that the man’s arm is dripping in blood.
“It’s a pity you won’t tell us what we need, we’ll find it out anyway..” His familiar voice echoes in the warehouse.
“You can try to drink your problems away but you’ll never escape me.” Jaehyun smiles wickedly at him. It’s a sinister smile that would send anyone running, but not you, of course not. You strangely have the adverse reaction, needing to see that face, one he’d give you as you look over your shoulder to see him ruining you from behind.
Stop.
That’s your drunk mind talking. He was right, no matter how much you drank, you’d never escape him.
Nonetheless, it seems they’d caught the man at the bar you were at right before you got there.
Another henchman brings a crying and tied up woman out from another room and throws her onto the floor in front of the man. The gang member then takes the covering off of the man’s head and the man screams a blood curdling scream as he sees the woman on the floor.
“Your wife has been through a lot already, Leonidas..put her out of her misery now by just telling us the truth..”
Her husband won’t budge, shaking his head and repeating “I’m sorry..I’m sorry I can’t” over and over. You swallow hard. Your hands start to tremble. What is Jaehyun’s plan if he still refuses to cooperate?
And then, one of Jaehyun’s men kicks her in the stomach repeatedly, making her spew out blood. You squint and look away, but the sound of her screams of agony pierce your ears.
You start to cry, covering our mouth to quiet your own sobbing.
“Do you really want to see how ugly this gets?” Jaehyun marches over then stabs her thigh.
You gasp as your eyes widen. No. How could he do this to an innocent woman?
The sight is messy and you turn away again. You shouldn’t be here, you have no business watching this. This can’t be the same man that you daydream about. This can’t be the man that you served pastries and coffee to, or the one that made sure you got home safe every night. You feel sick to your stomach.
The man is still silent, Jaehyun rolls his eyes before leaning down in front of him. “She will suffer because of you, is that really what you want?”
The man looks at his wife who is curled up on the ground and in tears. “Please..forgive me.”
“Leonidas! Please!!” She begs while reaching out for him.
Jaehyun steps back and nods towards another henchman who picks up a gun and shoots the lower part of the woman’s spine before your brain can even comprehend what is happening. The sharp sound nearly deafens you, but you still don’t run away.
Jaehyun looks back at the man as he winces from seeing her writhe like a fish out of water. “Now..she’s paralyzed, was it worth it?”
You step back, but you’re suddenly grabbed up by the collar and dragged into the room by one of the members.
“Hey! Ow!”
He throws you onto the floor, making you jam your knees onto the concrete.
“Look what we got here boss, a snitch.”
Jaehyun turns to you as you curse out. “Shit! Let me go!”
His eyes widen as he breaks his intimidating presence for a moment. “What the hell?!”
“Do you want us to tie her up?” The man grabs you up by your hair as you grunt. You raise your hands in an effort to scratch his strong arms.
“No! Get your hands off her!” Jaehyun hurries over.
The man lets your hair go, making you fall to the floor and grunt.
Jaehyun quickly places the gun down and helps you up. He grabs your wrist, tighter than ever before, nearly crushing your bone as he drags you out and into the hall. “Ow! Jaehyun..you’re hurting me!”
“What the fuck are you doing? Are you crazy?!” He tosses you into a wall, and the fact that you look amazing tonight still doesn’t stop him from being upset about you being there.
“I’m-I’m sorry, I just...I saw your car and -I wanted to see what you were up to and..” you start to sob.
“Why?!”
You sniffle, still tipsy, you can’t hold back the truth. “I missed you and I think..I think I love you.”
His brows furrow. “Love? You can’t fucking love me..”
“Those people..Jaehyun, I…I saw what you did, why are you doing this?”
“Did you like what you fucking saw?! Can you still love me after this? This is what I do, y/n. Get that through your thick skull! I’m not a nice fucking person, I hurt people!” He is infuriated, he doesn’t try to calm you down as you cry harder. He should take a moment to remember that you're probably drunk out of your mind right now, but in his anger, he can't seem to think of that fact.
He’s frightening, you can’t help but tremble under him. His face is filled with fury, and it’s the same face you saw the night he saved you from those two men, but you’re not so sure if you’re as lucky as you were last time.
“I’m sorry-it’s just..I didn’t expect you to—“
“To what?! What y/n?!” He steps closer as he yells.
“Kill innocent people!” You finally let out.
He nods. “Innocent?? What- well! Merry fucking Christmas, hope you liked your surprise. This is exactly why you should stay away from me! You don’t know me! You don’t want to know me! And I don’t want to see you again, do you understand?!”
You don’t respond, you only cry into your hands.
He grabs your wrist again to pull you back into the room.
“Hold her still!” He points to two large men who hold your arms up.
“Jaehyun..stop..please..I’ll leave..” You heave. He picks a gun from the table up.
“No!! Don’t do this..you don’t have to! There’s another way..Jaehyun..please!!”
The man and woman beg him as well, pleading loudly as they desperately try to escape the men and rope that keep them in place as well.
He shoots the husband and wife 3 times each, making you jump and turn away.
You push the henchmen away from you and wail while on the floor.
“Look at me!” Jaehyun commands.
He bends down and takes your chin into his hand, forcing you to look into his eyes as his fingers dig into your cheeks. He looks into your wet, red eyes, but not an ounce of regret flows through him. You had to see this, you had to hate him. Only then could you truly want this separation.
He hated to see you cry, but it was necessary. If you saw him as a saint, if you fell in love with who you thought was a “good man” only to find out how evil he is further down the line, it would only hurt more.
“This is who I am..you shouldn’t..you can’t love me..now get out of here.”
He lets you go. You quickly scurry to your feet.
You run as far as you can while crying, a million thoughts run through your head, the loudest being “how could you be so stupid to fall in love with a gang leader?”
Jaehyun turns to one of the men who starts to put their guns away.
“You just killed our lead, boss.”
Jaehyun stares at the dead man who should’ve provided key information as to where enemy shipments were docking.
“The bastard wasn’t going to tell us anything, he even let his wife die..tomorrow, we’ll see if his friend is just as selfish.”
Jaehyun puts his jacket on and heads out without another word.
On his drive back home, he thinks about everything that happened and if he had to do what he did. The truth is he had to kill them. The minute his guy dragged you into the room, this was decided. Should the man and his wife be let free, they would quickly expose your identity to his rivals and put your life at risk, and he couldn’t have that happening. You messed things up and didn’t even know. To make matters worse, based on his reaction everyone in the room could tell you were special to him.
He lays down in bed and tries to sleep, but after tossing and turning, he decides he should just go to the gym to take out his frustrations.
The punching bag becomes his main target. With every punch he thinks of how he felt when he yelled at you. Why was he so rough? You just confessed your love and this is how he reacts? He doesn’t deserve you. He knew that from the very beginning and his greed and lust still pushed it. He knew it because he didn’t want to just say ‘goodbye’ after having sex with you, he wanted to stay and hold you close, hugging you until the sun rose.
He wanted to whisper sweet words as he watched you sleep in his arms. He had never wanted this from any sexual partner before. Thus, he realized he loves you too, he always will and for that reason he cannot put your life at risk.
He sweats large drops of salty water as he pants.
He sits on the bench, wondering if he should call and apologize for being too harsh on you. He plans on leaving you alone, but the least he could do is apologize first.
He picks the phone up and stares at your unsaved number. But after a few seconds, he decides not to call, putting the phone back on the bench beside him and picking up his water bottle instead.
As he gulps it down, and as he does, he remembers how drunk you were and can’t help but wonder if you got home safely. So he picks the phone up and checks your location.
You’re home.
He sighs. He should stop by and see if you’re awake.
No. He shouldn’t
But once again, Jaehyun can’t resist you.
He uses a lock pick to get into your apartment easily, making note of how he should really get you a chain lock for the inside.
He walks in slowly and quietly before pushing your room door open slightly. And there you were, curled up in bed and snoring lightly. It was nice to know you were sleeping soundly, but he knew his words and actions cut deep this time, maybe too deep to recover from.
He observes your cute face, your brows furrowed slightly and your lips pursed. To be with you—no—to even look at you is a privilege, one he did not deserve.
He places a soothing cream for your wrist on your nightstand as well as a hangover cure drink, then turns to leave.
You take in a sharp breath, causing him to turn around swiftly. Did you wake up?
You breathe heavily, your eyes move quickly under your lids.
“No..no..” You mumble and groan. Your breathing quickens. It sounds like you’re on the verge of a panic attack.
Not knowing how else to help you before it’s too late, he quickly lays down in bed beside you and hugs you from behind. “I got you, baby, it’ll be okay shh.”
He holds you in his arms until you start to breathe normally again. Your eyes never open.
I could stay here..just tonight..it wouldn’t hurt, would it? He already knows the answer. He tells himself he is doing this to help you, but he knows he’s doing it for his own selfish reasons. To be able to feel your warmth, to smell your hair, to listen to you breathe in the stillness of the night, that’s why he does it.
Your eyes open slightly but he can’t see, you try to process what exactly is happening while panicking for a moment, but then it clicks. His cologne surrounds you just as his arms do.
Jaehyun.
He was hugging you close as you dreamt.
You decide to close your eyes and enjoy your last moment with him, with the man you could only know now as a cold hearted killer.
After a few minutes, he slowly releases you from his hold and gets out of the bed.
You both needed to be away from each other for now, so he silently leaves your apartment and heads home.
You wake up the next morning alone and with a splitting headache.
You rub your temple, squinting as the sun peers through your window. Then, you feel another aching pain.
You look down at your wrist and it all comes back to you.
“Shit.” You whisper to yourself.
What happened the night before was real..very real actually. Jaehyun made it clear that he wasn’t interested in you anymore, so now the only thing you can do is move on and try to forget him. Try.. at least try. You get up and get ready for work after downing the drink he left for you on your nightstand. That strange bastard. How can he care for you, but hurt you at the same time?
[One Month Later]
Jaehyun mustered up the courage to face you finally. He just couldn’t bear it anymore. Every day he had to watch you travel your usual route from home to work as a little dot on his phone screen. He refused to do it any longer. He had to see you, hear from you, touch you..hold you. It’s the only way he’d feel sane again.
He sits at his usual spot, meanwhile, you didn’t notice he’s even opened the door. Why? You’re too caught up in a conversation with another man. You smile and laugh a bit too much for his liking. How could you? How could you share your happiness with another man while he aches for you?
How and why are you flirting with another customer? And in just a few minutes he hears it.
“Thank you Johnny, I’ll see you next time.”
You even call him by his first name?
The man takes his bag of bread and heads out with a small smile.
Jaehyun looks back at you, only to catch you smiling hard as Johnny leaves.
But then, your smile fades when you see him.
You flinch when you see him at your counter and he notices. He really did scare you that night. He thinks to himself. His heart does hurt when he remembers how badly he messed up, but his mind is enraged with the thought that you may have moved on.
You look away and start to wipe down the counter.
“Do you know all your customer’s first name’s now?” Jaehyun says as he tilts his head. You ignore him.
You look over your shoulder to the back.
“Mark! There’s someone out here who needs help”
“Ok!”
You resume your chore, scrubbing an already clean surface as you try not to face Jaehyun. He controlled your every thought night and day. He’s no good for you, you know that, and you figured distance and time would help. Yet, here he was. Never allowing that theory to come true as he closes in on distance and takes up your time.
Mark looks around nervously. You hired Mark shortly after that incident so you could 1. Not be alone with any creeps and 2. Get some help in the bakery. There’s no way you can handle all the work yourself.
He clears his throat. “What would you like to order?
Jaehyun chuckles, “A minute with the owner.”
Mark sighs then looks back at you while you place fresh cookies on the display. He turns back to Jaehyun and pouts. “Unfortunately, we don’t have that”
Jaehyun frowns. He feels like an asshole for how he acted. Technically, he had no right to be upset with you, and he only came to apologize. You don’t owe him a word and you’re clearly upset, so there’s no point in making your pain last longer.
Mark sighs and walks away.
“Y/n..how I acted that night..was completely unacceptable. I was..worried about you, but I made a fool of myself and went too far. You don’t deserve that, and I’m so sorry. I understand why you don’t wish to speak with me..but I will never stop hoping that one day you do.” He stands up.
You look him in the eyes, holding back tears as your chest rumbles.
”Please leave if you don’t plan on ordering anything.” You say through thin lips.
You head to the back office as Mark takes over the front.
You try to act like you don’t care but deep down you do. and as you sit at your desk, you lay on your arms and wonder what should you do. Why does your heart feel so heavy with guilt? You’re the one that’s hurt, right? You deserve better, so just wait for it. But no..you want him, you can’t deny it. He was terrifying that night, he went too far.
However, as news surfaced about the couple he killed, mysteriously found dead in the woods, the truth about their wrongdoings came to light. They used money from drug trafficking to start up their own ring of slave trafficking, a completely new level of crime. You remembered enjoying coffee one night while closing. You asked Jaehyun if his job entailed hurting innocent people and he assured you he didn’t, turns out, he was right.
Long story short, he saved a few innocent lives by taking care of those rotten demons. He is an interesting variation of Batman.
He still scared you though, that you wouldn’t deny.
Jaehyun is dissatisfied with you ignoring him, but he leaves you alone.
[The Next Month]
“Happy Birthday Mark!” You and your friends yell out at the busy nightclub.
Mark smiles widely and thanks everyone before putting two soon-to-be-emptied bottles up in the air.
You dance the night away and do some drinking yourself. You bump hips with Mark and throw your hands in the air while having an amazing time. The lights flash, the music is nearly deafening and the floor shakes under your feet. It’s nice to let go.
“Want another shot?” Mark pushes his hair back while leaning towards you.
Feeling quite tipsy, you shake your head. “I’m good!” You didn’t need things to go south like they did the last time you got drunk.
Mark hugs you tightly before running off to the bar. You laugh while watching him prance away without a care in the world.
A few feet away from you sits the club's owner. He takes a long drag from his cigarette and lets it rest inbetween his fingers while leaning back.
“Let’s dance, babe…it’s too boring here!” The girl in a tight hot pink dress sitting beside him runs her hand over his thigh. He brushes her away and scoots further down on the couch.
“I’ll tell you what..go ahead and dance and if I like the way you move, I’ll join you.”
She jumps up and runs to the floor, still oblivious to the fact that his attention has been on someone else the entire time.
“Hey.” You hear a low voice call out from behind. You turn to see a tall man with blue hair gazing down at you with wide eyes.
Why not? You think to yourself. It’s been a while since you’ve felt the embrace of a hot guy.
You start to dance, letting the music flow through your bodies as they grind against each other.
He runs his hand along your throat, tilting your chin so that he can access your lips from behind. You can feel his steamy breath hit your bottom lip, you’re so close and then-
You’re separated.
“What the fuck, dude?” The man lets out when he sees a girl in a tight pink dress walk away after bumping into the two of you hard.
“Sorry about that.” a male voice calls out from behind you. You turn and gasp.
Jaehyun.
“She got a little carried away.” He walks after the girl. Your heart drops. Did he just brush past you like that? Not even a glance or “hi.” Are you really nothing to him?
You shouldn’t be surprised. You’re the one that cut things off. So why does it hurt so bad to see him with someone else?
“You good?” The blue haired man interrupts your thoughts.
You force a smile. “Yeah..yeah for sure! Do you..want to go to the bathroom?”
He smiles widely and takes your hand. The two of you struggle to make your way through the crowd and towards the back to continue your makeout session.
Jaehyun watches you and sends a message to one of his men.
He tells them to lock the bathroom doors. He knew you were less likely to make out with the guy in public like this.
He had to stop it.
“Hey! You said you like the way I move, let’s dance!” The girl grabs his arm.
He pulls away, gently taking her hand off of him. “I’ll be right back.”
He hurries to the back where he sees you both struggling to open the door. Suddenly, the power is cut off. You can’t see anything and now the guy's hand has left yours. Everyone yells and screams. Some screaming out of fear, some screaming out of excitement. It’s chaos, but after just 10 seconds, the flashing lights and music come back on.
Your makeout partner, however, is gone.
You look everywhere for the handsome blueberry, but he’s nowhere to be found.
“Shit.” You say quietly then head back to the dance floor to look for Mark and your friends.
Jaehyun owned the club so it didn’t take long for him to get what he wanted. Power off? Got it. Bathrooms closed? Done. Blue haired guys get kicked out for no reason? Absolutely.
You push your way through the crowd and bump into Jaehyun again. This time, the girl he was with earlier has an arm around his neck while dancing against his chest. He has a cigarette in his mouth, but gives you a sly smile when he sees you watching them.
She grinds on him but his eyes are focused on you. His dark eyes are hard to resist, boring holes into your skull and making your clothes feel even tighter than they were before. You swallow hard then turn away quickly and continue to look for Mark.
The night goes on and you continue to dance with your friends. It’s not until about 3 AM that everyone is ready to leave.
You wait for an UVER outside with a hammered Mark.
“Boss. That was..so..fun..” he slurs out.
“I’m glad you had a great time.” you laugh out as he rests his head on your shoulder.
30 minutes have passed and UVER drivers have either declined the ride or not shown up at all. “What the hell is going on?”
Other people had their designated drivers and were heading home already. The night air starts to feel extra chilly when you realize it’s just the two of you outside now.
“Busy night?..” a man says as he drives up to the front of the club.
You look into the car. “Yeah it seems like-“ your face drops.
“I can drop you guys off if you’d like.” Jaehyun continues.
You step back. “We’re good..thank you.”
“Please y/n..you’re on the way anyway.”
“I said we’re fine! Just leave us-“
Mark stumbles to the ground, falling face flat.
“Shit!” You yell out then try to pick him up.
Jaehyun hops out of the car to help you.
“The UVER should..ugh..be here in a few minutes.”
Jaehyun leans Mark against his car and looks at you with a serious, almost scary expression. “Are you lying to me?”
You roll your eyes. “Why are you talking to me like I’m a child? Just leave us alone.”
“I’ll wait until it gets here.”
“We don’t need you to do that”
“It’s my choice, I won’t go home until everyone else does.”
“Oh, are you pulling a Batman again?”
“Come on y/n, think about the surge rates..”
You look away and cross your arms.
“I was a dick, I know-“
“Was?” You raise an eyebrow.
“But let me make it up to you, I’ll drop you both off, he can get rest and you can get home safely..please.”
You look at your phone and sure enough UVER has boosted the price 5x.
You look at Mark then at Jaehyun. “Fine.”
He helps you put Mark in the car. He sleeps and lays on his side on the backseat.
You then sit in the passenger seat with your hands in your lap. A few minutes pass and Jaehyun can’t help it.
“How are you?”
“I’m fine.”
He nods.
“Did you like the nightclub?”
You don’t respond this time, you only look out of the window as he drives.
A few seconds pass and only Mark’s snoring fills the tense air.
“We worked hard on it, changed the tiles, redid the bar, and-“
“How are you always conveniently popping up?” You ask him angrily.
“You can’t just come to my club and not expect to see me, y/n..” he says smoothly.
You turn to him.
“My..club?”
He can’t contain his laughter “oh you had no idea huh?”
“You never told me you owned a nightclub..”
“I never told you much about my job, baby”
You shiver when he says “baby” in such a low tone.
You scoff. “Job..if that’s what you call it.” You roll your eyes and relax into the seat.
‘And that’s why it didn’t work’ is what you want to say, but you don’t.
“I also didn’t know you started smoking again.”
Jaehyun can’t help but smile. You’re worried about him, and it shows in how much attention you give him. You still care.
“I didn’t..just needed a little something tonight.”
“Good. I hate the smell.”
He looks at you to see if you realized your mistake.
“Does it matter anymore? I’m never near you..” He tilts his head.
“Oh…right.” You say quietly.
He clears his throat. “How have you been though? Is the business doing well?”
“I don’t want to talk, Jaehyun.”
And there it is. You shut him out again. Was what he did that bad? Yeah, he may have killed a person..two people..in front of you..twice, and yeah, he may have yelled and said awful things. But did it warrant this treatment from you? Well..yes. You’re too good for him, he needs to remember that. He swallows hard when he comes to the realization that he will never stop trying to get you back. Whether it takes 1 month, 5 years, or a decade, deep down, he will always want you.
He waits for a few minutes to pass then he tries again.
“Come on sweetheart, we can start over.” He grips the steering wheel tightly with one hand.
The slight airiness in his voice sends you back to the night you had with him. His sweaty skin against your body, his large hands gripping you tightly enough to wring you dry. All while he pants and leans into your ear to call you “sweetheart.”
You close your legs tightly and shake the memory away.
You chuckle. You can’t believe the audacity of this man.
“First of all don’t call me that…and it seems to me you’re already starting something with another girl.”
“Oh?..did that upset you?”
You turn to him. “Seeing a cold killer dance with someone? No..no I’m not upset at all, I feel bad for her.”
he glances at Mark to make sure he’s still sleeping. “A killer? Me?” He chuckles.
“He’s passed out, and even if he wasn’t I’d kill you if you laid a finger on him.”
“Oo a threat?, I’d like to see you try, I wonder if you’d start trembling again?”
“Oh fuck off.” You roll your eyes.
“What about that Johnny guy? What’s his deal?”
You bunch your brows. “Oh did that upset you?”
Jaehyun shakes his head and looks into the road sternly. “You guys just seem close, that’s all.”
“You think I’m sleeping with every customer I know on a first name basis now?”
“No-that’s not-“
“Yes, Jaehyun, you caught me. I’m fucking Johnny and other customers before and after work every day, happy?”
He turns to you, clenching his jaw and narrowing his eyes.
“Don’t do that.”
“Don’t do what?” You turn back to him.
“Don’t get sarcastic with me.”
“Or what?”
Just then Mark snores loudly, so loud you jump in your seat. The two of you burst out into laughter.
The rest of the drive is silent. You both help Mark into his apartment, then Jaehyun drives you to yours.
He lets you out at the loop right in front of the building. “Do you want me to walk you up?”
You turn to him before stepping out of his car. “Since when do I need help to get to my apartment?. Goodbye Jaehyun.”
He takes your hand. “I..I’m sorry.”
“I know you are.” You withdraw it from his hold and walk away.
The night ends just like countless other nights have ended for him, he dreams about you, grasping the sheets on his bed, hoping to feel your skin just once. Eventually, he gives up and either works out or stands in front of his floor to ceiling windows with a cigarette in hand while watching the sun rise.
[Two Weeks Later]
Jaehyun holds your hand gently, helping you into the massive teacup you’re about to ride in together. It’s been a great day at Disney, and now with the sun setting, casting a warm glow onto your lover's face, you enjoy one last ride together.
The cups spin and spin, making you slide up and down the curved bench inside. Jaehyun giggles and reaches out for you to hold you close. You rest in his broad arms, time seems to stand still for a moment. You only feel the peace of the air in between you, the longing gazes, and the golden hue of the sky.
His smile fades into a frown. “I’m sorry sweetheart..”
Your brows bunch together. “Sorry? About what?”
You’re jolted awake by the sound of your vibrating phone.
“Damn it..” you rub your eyes before grabbing your phone. Another stupid dream about your stupid ex-wait, could you even call him that?
You yawn while scratching your head. “I really gotta stop doing that.” But you can’t control your dreams, they manifest from what your heart wants. Nonetheless, you unlock your phone to see what the notification is.
It’s a text
Banker: let’s meet to discuss a few things about your application.
You nod to yourself. “Perfect.”
You knew what the Banker meant when he said he wanted to meet up. In exchange for him tweaking a few things on your loan application, you’ll satisfy his..specific needs. Will this be your proudest moment? Probably not, but you need to do what you need to do.
You swallow hard. Jaehyun’s face of disappointment enters your mind.
“Ugh…” you lay back down in bed. He did have a point. Why should you sell yourself when someone you actually like is willing to give you money for just existing?
Then you remind yourself. Where is that money coming from? It’s blood money, and you want nothing to do with it.
And sure, he’d be disappointed, but what does that change? At the end of the day you still have a stack of bills that are starting to tilt like the tower of Pisa on your dining table.
“Wait..what he thinks doesn’t matter.” You sit back up in bed and laugh to yourself.
You: Okay
[The Next Day]
Jaehyun pours the milk over his cereal before exhaling loudly. He still regrets how he acted with you, he misses you more than anything, but what can he do to fix everything? The truth is he knows he’ll have to let you go, you deserve better anyway. You deserve peace and a partner that can help you run your business. A partner that will bake with you then go over your finances together.
Jaehyun sits down while imagining what he thinks is the life you deserve. You and your partner could eventually offer catering and delivery services for your bakery, you could hire more people so you wouldn’t have to work so hard. And then you’d have time for kids-
Kids..
Jaehyun’s smiles fondly. “She’d be a good mom…”
All of this can and will happen..just not with him. He needs to let you go, for the thought of you being with someone else is just too hurtful. The time is now, he needs to change now. And the first step is deleting the tracker app.
He unlocks his phone and opens the app for the last time. “She’s probably at the bakery right now..”
But no…you’re not at the bakery. You’re in a random parking lot.
He chews slowly and stares with a puzzled expression.
Any plans that you made would likely be in your text or map history, so he decides to take a look at your recent texts.
He puts his spoon down, standing straight up as what he sees shocks him to his core.
“The fucking banker.”
Jaehyun grabs his jacket and runs out.
He’s furious especially since you already tried doing it this way and he stopped it. How could you do this to him? How could you do this to yourself? He speeds to your location.
Meanwhile, you and the banker sit in his car in the middle of a relatively empty parking lot. You sit nervously in the passenger seat.
The banker tells you that he went over your profile and application, and he’d be happy to approve your loan with the minimum interest.
You’re ecstatic and relieved. “Oh my god…that’s amazing, thank you!”
The 50-something year old looks into your eyes and nods. “I made it work for you.”
“I appreciate that..”
He leans forward and stares at your lips. “You are so beautiful, I had to do something to help.”
You take a deep breath and try to accept what’s happening, but you can’t bring yourself to meet him halfway.
He opens his eyes. “Oh..is this too much? I’m sorry, I-“
“Oh no..it’s fine..but I’m..not ready yet..”
He looks defeated, and sits back in his seat.
The guilt starts to rip through you, he isn’t pushy or aggressive. He genuinely is helpful, but the attraction just isn’t there.
You break the silence. “I’d rather let you touch me.”
You’re quiet and shy, a stark contrast to how you are with Jaehyun because deep down, you don’t really want it.
“Oh..really?”
You nod.
He leans forward, biting his bottom lip as he reaches out. He caresses the warm skin of your neck before moving his hand further down to your shoulder.
You swallow hard as the man pushes your strap off your shoulder slowly, then drags his thumb over your bra.
“Is this okay?” He asks. You nod, desperate to have him finish quickly so you can go home and relax. He puts his other hand into his pants.
Yes, finally-just get it over with and-
*crash*
The driver window suddenly shatters as someone punches through it.
You scream as you watch the masked man covered in black attire from head-to-toe punch the banker through the window in seconds. There’s glass everywhere, on the floor, in your lap, and all over the banker’s clothing and hair.
He then grabs him by the collar and drags him out of the car through the space created by the broken window.
The banker screams, but the man holds the banker up by the collar and chokes him until he loses consciousness. Your mouth falls open, he may just kill the banker.
“Stop! Please! He didn’t do anything! We were just-“
The man lets the banker’s limp body drop to the floor. You sit in silence as you watch him look down on his body for a few seconds. Then, a chill attacks your spine. He lifts his head and his focus slowly shifts to your face.
Your eyes widen. The panic sets in and you jump out of the car, running away from the masked man.
He runs after you at an alarming speed. His steps triple that of yours. You can’t out run him. He grabs you by the waist and swings you around.
You flail in his arms. “Please!! Please don’t hurt me!”
He doesn’t say anything, he simply throws you over his shoulder and takes you to his black van. You sob and beg him to let you go.
He only turns back around and walks to the banker. He takes his wallet and watch then walks back to you while shoving them in his pocket. Through the small slit over his eyes you can see a menacing darkness. You have no idea what his intentions are, but you don’t think they’re good. You look around you to see rope, tape, bags of cement, bricks, and a shovel. You start hyperventilating and scurry to the corner of the van to get away from him, but he still gets closer and closer to you.
“Hands behind you.” The man says through a voice changing box. You do as he says and place your arms behind you. He easily spins you around and ties you up with rope. He then spins you back and stares into your eyes.
“Please..let me go..I don’t even know him that well..if he owes you, just take it out on him..”
The man doesn’t say anything, he looks at your exposed shoulder and drooping bra cup now resting slightly above your nipple. He reaches over, a flinch escaping you as a result.
He keeps moving his hand until he grabs the strap and fixes your dress over your bra again. His icy fingers graze your skin.
You swallow hard and start to relax just a bit. “Th-thank you.”
He leaves the back of the van, slamming the door shut before jumping into the driver’s seat.
In a few hours, the banker is hit with the worst headache of his life. He stands up slowly and looks at his broken window. Then, it all starts to come back to him. He sighs. He doesn’t have his wallet or watch, but he’s more than happy to be alive. He heads home like nothing happened. He’s pretty sure you were kidnapped, but what could he do? He can’t tell any one of what happened or call the police because technically he isn’t supposed to be meeting with clients, especially not in sketchy areas like that.
Telling the truth would only make things harder for him. He shrugs his shoulders and turns the radio up.
Once in a secluded area, the man parks and opens the van door.
“Please let me go, I won’t tell anyone about this I-“
He takes his mask off and you gasp.
“Y-you..you fucking bastard.”
Jaehyun doesn’t respond, he unties you and with the van door still open, you dash out of the van and run.
Finally, you’re free. Just keep running and then-
You come to an abrupt halt when you realize you’re at the edge of a cliff.
“Shit.” Your eyes widen.
“Help!!! Help me!!!” You yell but the echo only comes back to you.
“No one can hear you scream out here, sweetheart.” Jaehyun says as he walks towards you at a leisurely pace.
You walk back to him angrily. He smirks slightly.
You slap him hard. “Take me home now! I can’t believe you fucking kidnapped me!” His face swings to the left, and he steps back in surprise. He looks back at you with narrow eyes as he clenches his jaw.
“Saved you. And no, not until you explain what the hell you were doing with that creep.”
“Oh my god…I don’t even know if he’s okay..did you kill him?” Your hands grip your head.
“No, he’ll just be out for a little while.”
“Why the hell would you do that?”
“I could’ve done worse if I wanted to, you already know that.” He steps closer to you. His eyes darken, and that scary, murderous glint in them starts to show through.
“Now..explain what you were doing…or I WILL go back and kill him so there’s no chance of it happening again.”
“You’re crazy! I don’t owe you an explanation! You mean nothing to me!” You say too fast without realizing that it was a lie and mistake.
Jaehyun is shocked, but he chuckles, tilting his head to the side in a sort of ‘well, well, well’ manner.
Is this what he needs to hear to finally let you go?
“I-“ you sigh and your voice lowers slightly. “You know what I mean, Jaehyun. We aren’t married, we aren’t dating, we’re not even friends. Why should I explain my personal life to you?”
“So what? I’m supposed to act like I don’t fucking care?”
Your eyes widen as you walk towards him again with frantically moving hands. “Yes! Yes exactly! Because one second you do care and the next you don’t, it’s driving me crazy! What is it that you want?!”
“You already know that answer.” He tilts his head.
“God, Jaehyun. I’m done with your games.” You wave him off and turn away.
“You didn’t want it, y/n. I saved you.”
You flick your head back to him. “Well, Batman, guess what? I was so close to getting what I needed! But of course, you make it about yourself.” You put your hands on your hips and look back out at the cliff. “Plus, you scared the shit out of me!”
“And I’m sorry about that, but it was necessary.”
You scoff. “Necessary? You always do what you think is necessary without considering how it might affect me…”
“It’s what’s best for you, y/n.”
You close your eyes tightly. “Oh my God, you’re impossible.”
After a few seconds of silence, you pretend to walk by him, but quickly grab his pocket knife from his front pocket. He spins around when he notices, but you press it into his neck quickly.
He chuckles before tilting his mouth into a devious smile. “You never told me you were a spy..” he says sarcastically after seeing you move with such precision.
Truth was, after nearly getting pick pocketed, and possibly worse, on the night he saved you, you took up self-defense classes.
“I’m not playing around, Jaehyun. Take me home.” You press the blade in slightly.
He’s surprised, but he knows you won’t actually hurt him. “Come on y/n..this isn’t you.”
He has to admit that seeing you like this did turn him on slightly. He feels a twitch in his pants as he imagines you holding the knife to his neck, riding him while you cry his name out to the heavens. Then he’d grab it from you and flip you over so he could pound into you from behind, holding the knife to your neck as he smashes his hips into you. You’d be the prettiest broken thing by the time he’s done with you.
“I’m different now, I’ve seen the things you do, I want nothing to do with you.” You were lying, you still love him. You dream about him nearly every night and your heart races when you think of him, even as you try to remember how cruel he is.
He steps forward, forcing you to walk backwards to the van, still looking into your wide eyes.
“W-what are you doing? Stop moving!” You blink rapidly.
“Do it, sweetheart, kill me, if I mean nothing to you…do it.” He smiles.
As turned on as he is right now, he knows that you are heartbroken because of him and now is his chance to be completely honest about his adoration of you. He needed to fix things fast. If you wanted to leave him after this, you should at least know how he feels first.
With the knife still pressed against him, he leans down closer to you.
“I’m sorry..I’m so sorry. But I miss you..” he searches your panicking eyes before continuing. “I need you, I can’t go five minutes without wishing you were near me. You’re the only person I’ve truly..felt something with and I panicked, I don’t know what to do, I’ve never…”
You swallow hard, but don’t lift the knife away. Not yet. You need to hear more.
He pauses and looks away. “I don’t know. I don’t deserve you, I know that. But I’m a greedy bastard, I want you anyway.” His eyes float downward to your lips. Despite trembling like he expected you to, you don’t remove the knife.
“You can kill me if you’d like, that will be the only way for my mind and body to rest without you..” He continues to close the distance between you. “..but before you do, just kiss me one last time.”
Your mouth falls open. You’re stunned, still searching his eyes for a sign that he may be joking, but of course, no sign is there. The stone cold man with menacing tattoos just revealed how madly in love he is with you and you can’t do anything but stare in shock.
Your mind is telling you to run, to grab the keys, start the van, and drive home. But your heart..your body..your soul..you can’t leave him.
You stumble and fall into the van. The knife drops out of your hand and Jaehyun leans forward, caging you in between his arms as you lay down. You breathe heavily and stare at each other’s lips.
He wants to taste them so badly, but he waits for you. It could take all night, but he’d wait for you. Just one, that’s all he asks for before this is all over.
And after waiting for a painfully long amount of time, you hold his face with your hand and kiss him. Your heads turn and your tongues explore each other.
He crawls over you, holding himself up with one arm while the other hooks itself under your leg and pushes your knee to your chest. Frantic and steamy breaths cover your bodies.
You lean forward on your elbows, starting to zip your dress down from the back, but he stops you. He picks his pocket knife up and cuts through it easily, causing an embarrassing moan to escape you. You help him take his shirt off too. The look on his face is one of pure hunger and it’s hot.
“I hate you so much.” You say softly then reach for his face again. You kiss harder, so hard your teeth clink against his.
He leans back to get air after a few seconds then pants as he looks down at your body in a gorgeous lilac lingerie set. “You were really about to let that loser see you in this?” He tilts head while carefully dragging the knife against your bare skin.
You take in a sharp breath as goosebumps raise across it. Answer incorrectly and you could just become a kebab right then and there. But part of you wants to push him
You nod. “If you don’t love me right, I may still let him see it after this .”
His eyes narrow as his tone deepens. “Don’t..push it.”
“Don’t disappoint me..” you hold his face in one hand while looking into his eyes, easily maneuvering your way to his thick hair. He blushes then begins to kiss you as your hands run through this locs. He groans at the feeling of your fingertips on his scalp.
You giggle. “Are you blushing?”
“No..” he groans against your chest, ignoring the way his face feels like it is on absolute fire.
“Liar.” You smile and massage his scalp with your fingers. You unhook your bra and throw it to the side.
He caresses your breasts while kissing you then grabs your legs by the crook of your knees and fixes himself between them.
“I want you too, Jaehyun..I’ve never felt this way either..but I can’t take you hurting me anymore.” You whisper. “Promise me you won’t hurt me again.”
He kisses your neck. “I promise..to love you and care for you for as long as you’ll let me, y/n.”
He leans back and takes in the sight once more. You look up at him, staring at his defined abs, impressive chest and rock hard biceps. You should’ve recognized him as the masked man from the beginning. Only he could confidently swing you around like you weigh nothing. He drags the cold tip of the knife along your thigh and then hip. You shiver at the feeling, he loves to see your chest rising and falling.
He uses the knife to tug the fabric covering your pussy. You gasp as you feel the cold object being so close to you.
Then with a quick swipe he cuts through the left strap of your underwear that hugs your hips. “Jaehyun! I love this set! What are you-“
He cuts the other side.
You draw in a sharp breath. “Damn it.”
“Now..no one else will have seen it but me.” He lightly drags the dull side of the knife along your cloth-covered slit to see goosebumps a little bit longer the second time. When he finally cuts the other side, he removes the wet fabric to see your flower dripping and aching for him. He licks his lips and breathes heavily. He feels he might go crazy if he doesn’t fuck you right away.
He leans down to kiss you again.
His fingers find your folds, collecting the essence. You whimper into his mouth, feeling his digits enter you slowly, stretching you out to prepare for him.
He pulls away to speak softly against your lips. “Are you going to listen to me? Are you going to obey me like a good girl?”
And in the golden hue of the setting sun, he is magnificent. You can’t help but moan and nod. You’ll say yes to anything at this point, he could tell you to walk 100 miles with him in the rain or snow and you’d agree to it.
Your eyes roll back, you shut them and bite your lip as he works his fingers, your hips rocking against his palm.
He leans back and grabs your chin with his other hand. He looks into your eyes with a dark, lustful gaze like he can’t wait to tear you apart. “Speak.”
“Yes…I’ll do whatever you say.” Your eyes round as you look up at him, feeling beautiful in (half of) your special set.
The corner of his mouth lifts slightly. “Perfect.” He pushes his pants down in one quick motion.
“Can you close the van door?” You ask innocently, trying not to look down at his long dick, tip red and swollen with pre cum leaking. He strokes it slowly, watching as you swallow hard.
And if he had time, he’d torture you by forcing you to watch him pleasure himself before decorating your belly with all that he’s saved up for you.
He’d lick it up, then kiss you so you could taste it too. He’d lick along your opening until you beg for him to stop, then he’d be hard again and start all over. All while not letting you feel his dick.
You’d be unsatisfied like he’s been all these painful weeks without you. The desperate pleading and whiny noises that would escape you would get him there quickly too. Fortunately for you, your pussy feels so good around his fingers, he knows he’d be a fool not to paint your insides tonight.
He looks back at the quiet woods surrounding the van, no one is there, but the thought of someone actually peaking from behind a tree to watch and listen to him fuck you until you’re a sobbing mess makes it hotter. They can see how good he, only himself, can make you feel. They can grow envious of how well you take him, all while not being able to do a damn thing about it.
Of course, he’s being dramatic. No one is there. But it doesn’t mean he won’t put on a show.
He smirks when he turns back to you.
“Why? Scared someone will see you being a complete slut for me? Scared someone will hear you?”
You shake your head. “N-no, it’s just-”
He enters you quickly, pushing in so deep your body can’t help but clench in an effort to push out the penetrative object. You hold back a loud scream as he takes you suddenly.
You arch your back.
“Fuck..nno..I..” you press your hands against his chest.
“Hmmm what was that?” He pulls out then pushes in again. You feel every ridge, every vein. Even after all this time, you still have each and every inch memorized. It’s like he owns you. Like he’s made you into his own personal fuck toy.
He grabs your waist with both hands and pulls out then pushes all the way back in like he’s trying to beat some world record for deepest penetration.
He goes even deeper than before, knocking the wind out of your chest.
This time, you can’t hold back, you scream loudly and grab his shoulders with both hands. “Jaehyun! I can’t-!”
He chuckles then places both ankles on his shoulders. He places his hand on your stomach. “Relax, my love, have you forgotten how I feel?”
He pulls out completely then pushes in again. He clicks his tongues. “Shame..now this will take more time.”
He stays in and rubs his hand along your stomach while you pant.
You push his pelvis away as your head falls back. “Too much!”
“Nothing is too..” he thrusts. “Much..” he thrusts harder then pulls out. “For..” he thrusts hard enough to shake the entire van.
“You..” he pulls out then pushes completely in again, ruthlessly fucking you to fit him. “I know my good girl can handle it.”
You whine and shake your head. “Jaehyun! Ahhh..I ca-..” he shuts you up with a kiss, licking over your bottom lip and swallowing your tongue as you cry. Your nails dig tiny craters into his back while he drives you insane.
He pulls away and kisses your jaw. “So..tight, my love.” He starts to suck your neck hard.
You feel his hands grip you tightly to hold you still. Tears fall from the sides of your eyes after feeling so stuffed you might break.
But within a few minutes, you’re meeting him halfway, swaying your hips slightly to get him to hit that spot. You can’t stop mewling and telling him how good it feels. Your head falls back, your mouth falls open. He controls your body with every movement he makes, fulfilling every filthy desire you’ve had for him these last few days. How could you ever hope to be satisfied by anyone else? You want to praise him, you need to praise him. And so you do, chanting his name over and over in between faint and breathy yes’.
“See? You take me so well.” He watches your boobs move up and down with each thrust and even in this dull van, you are vibrant. Your beauty is that of angels that only grace this earth for minutes at a time before returning to heaven. He’s never seen anything like it.
He loves everything about you, from the curve of your top lip to your warm thighs, he can’t get enough.
“My pretty girl..” he runs his hand down the center of your chest as one hand holds your waist. His hand goes all the way down, just to hover over your clit.
You look down and moan, but quickly swallow it as it’d be embarrassingly loud.
He only laughs while rubbing circles onto your clit. “Cum for me, baby..I can feel you holding it in. Remember, no one can hear you out here.”
He moves in and out more easily as your slick coats him. He leans forward, biting a nipple while his fingertips massage your clit. “Come on..give it to me, sweetheart, I missed you.”
And so you do. You shake and hold his arms for stability, crying out his name amongst swear words only nature can hear. “Good girl…” he teasingly flicks his tongue against your nipple while staying inside you.
Your hand caresses his scalp as you start to come down. You breathe heavily, quickly building sweat on your body.
He leans back and pulls out slowly, staring down at your entrance that leaks all over the floor of the van.
“Give me another one sweetheart, you’re so pretty like this.”
You shake your head. “I’m sensitive..I just need-.” But it’s too late, he’s already slid his slender fingers back into you, brushing against your walls so he can coat them with his own slick. “Wait!”
Your fingernails find his back and scratch into him again as he moves faster. “S-slow…please.”
“You said you’d follow my orders..” he pulls out completely, then pushes his fingers into you. He lays on his side while you still lay on your back, trying to regain your composure.
He watches as your eyes and legs close tightly.
“Let me see my pretty girl..” He swats your legs apart then rubs your clit mercilessly with his other hand.
“Hnn..not yet, please..” you gasp as you feel the pressure of his fingertips.
“That’s it, right?” He says as he finds your sweet spot. He kisses your lips, swallowing your whimpers. You start to melt.
You can’t take it anymore, you yell his name out into the night and grab his wrist as you climax again. He chuckles, then removes your hand so he can keep moving. A puddle builds under you as your entire body loses all sense of control. “Good girl..look at the mess you’re making.”
You pant and your mouth falls open.
He places his fingers into it. “Taste yourself.”
You lick around his fingers but his other hand still circles around your clit at a fast pace. Your eyes widen. “Don’t look so shocked.” He gives a sly smile.
You squirm in his arms, picking your body up from the floor, but his toned body won’t let you escape.
“It’s what you want..what you need.” He turns you on your side and hugs you tightly from behind. You reach out for the back of the driver seat to try to pull yourself away from him, but your fingertips just brush the black leather.
Jaehyun chuckles.
“Where are you going? You have to give me more..” he holds you tightly against him, entering you once more.
“No more, please!” you push against his hips, but there’s no use. He continues to hold onto you and make you mush.
He moves repeatedly as you reach out for anything to grab, but only finding the cold metal of the van.
“Jaehyun!” Your head falls back. You shut your eyes tightly, feeling that ache in the pit of your stomach grow stronger. You have no choice but to accept that he won’t let you go. He stimulates you so well, you wonder how you can cry out for release, but desire more at the same time.
“Imagine someone IS out there..imagine they’re watching us and touching themselves right now..you’d like that, wouldn’t you?” he whispers into your ear.
Unfortunately, your pussy betrays you by clenching at the possibility.
He chuckles lowly and it makes goosebumps raise. “That’s my girl..you like people watching you take my seed…it’s gonna be so deep inside, and you’re gonna show them how well you hold it in for me like a good girl, right?”
All you can do is whimper.
He chuckles when seeing how mesmerized you are by him. Your mouth falls open but nothing comes out.
“What if I keep you here? Breed you over and over?” He places his hand on your stomach again. “You’d be even prettier with a swollen belly and big, full tits. What do you say?“
You moan loudly and tremble.
Everything he says pushes you closer, you can’t think straight, you want to feel him everywhere. He’s all you can think about.
“Sweetheart? I need an answer.” He nips the back of your neck.
“Yes..yes!”
You quiver around him. His steamy breath hits the back of your ear while he bends over you.
“Yes that’s it, this pretty pussy wants more and more..it’s never satisfied.” His low voice ruins you.
You clench uncontrollably and cum again, this time you lose your breath and nearly pass out. You’re so weak, all you can focus on is steadying your body.
He turns you over onto your stomach, grabbing your ass before staring at your dripping and swollen entrance.
He slides his dick in between the slit to tease both himself and you, watching as you flinch from the sensation. “You’re so wet today, maybe I’ll fuck you in public more often.”
His hands grip your waist once more, pulling you back onto his cock.
He pushes into you slowly this time. His arms wrap tightly around your chest as if he is afraid you’ll slip away at any moment. His fingers pinch your nipples as he groans.
“You smell so good..” his face rests on the back of your neck, he kisses it and breathes heavily.
You moan as he moves slowly against your aching walls.
“Are you ready to take it all?”
You nod and whimper. “Yes.” There’s no point in telling him you’re still reeling from your last climax and are too sensitive for the next one. He needs you now and he won’t stop for anything.
“Say it.”
“I..l” you close your eyes tightly.
“Come on sweetheart, look at me.” He places a hand to your chin to turn your head towards his. You look over your shoulder and into the eyes of the dark haired man bringing you to the edge with deliciously long strokes. He’s beautiful, a work of art even.
With your eyes locked you lick your lips. “Make me yours…I need you..”
Jaehyun’s movement stutters. He holds himself back from cumming just from your words and glossy eyes alone. He can’t believe this is real, he can’t believe he isn’t dreaming of making love to you right now and is actually doing it.
He kisses you and groans into your mouth, while your fingers still intertwine with his hair. His grip on your hip tightens and he moves faster.
“I need you too, my love..so badly.. keep me in”
“Yes..yes!” You arch your back again. You can’t believe yourself right now. Thirty minutes ago you wanted to kill this man, and yet, here you are allowing him to fuck your brains out and make you so stupid you can only think about being full enough to bear children for him.
His fingers move to your clit again and you see stars, your body tenses and you can’t stop clenching around him.
You feel his abs flex on your back. “You can handle it right? Please..please tell me you can.” He speaks right over your round lips, and his voice is higher now. You gasp at the sound of his suddenly desperate and breathy pleas.
“God yes! I can! I’m your good girl..” you cry out. He feels so good, you can’t take it. You know you sound pathetic, but it doesn’t matter. The idea of being fucked until you’re leaking for days is so hot to you, it’s nothing but embarrassing.
“Tell me..you love me..tell me…please.” His voice cracks slightly in between his groans.
You look into his glossy eyes, searching them for a light that will tell you how he truly feels. You hesitate to tell him the truth. Not for fear that it will break his heart, but that it will break yours.
You love him, however, it’s never enough to make him stay.
“I love you..”
“Again..” he pants.
“I love..you.”
“Again..”
“I love you, Jaehyun.” You whimper.
“Again, sweetheart..” he moves faster, feeling dizzy with how tightly you hold him.
“Jaehyun..please..I love you..Jaehyun.”
His fingertips dig into your skin. “One more.” He could listen to you chant his name in between “I love you’s” all day and night.
“I love you so much..I need you.” You let out as your body grows weaker.
“Yes, that’s it..I’m here for you, my love..take it.” He releases deep inside you, moving slowly to ensure you have every drop. He holds you fast against him until he’s sure your skin will be sore for a few days.
You moan loudly, convulsing around him before your body collapses.
“Fuck...” he lets out breathlessly when he pulls out. He lays down beside you and hugs you from behind for a few minutes.
“I’m sorry..”
You brace yourself, you can’t believe he’s doing this again. “..for what?”
“For ruining your beautiful set..I’ll get you another one.”
You breathe a sigh of relief and smile.
You both get up and try to get dressed with what’s left.
Jaehyun takes his shirt up and drapes it over you. You tie the remnants of your dress around your hips to turn it into a skirt. You then get into the passenger seat as he gets into the driver seat, and head home.
When you’re halfway there, you notice Jaehyun doesn’t head in the direction of your place. “Wait..where-“
“I’m taking you home.” He drives with one hand on the steering wheel.
“Home?” You smile to yourself, hoping he doesn’t look over to see how excited you are.
Once at his ridiculously large apartment, he runs a bath for you and cleans you thoroughly. You relax in the tub after he places epsom beads into the hot water to soothe your aching body. You close your eyes and feel him gently pour water over your back. It’s quiet. You’re too hoarse to speak, meanwhile Jaehyun is too nervous to say the first word.
Jaehyun thinks about how much he loves you as never in his life has he pleaded for anything and especially not during sex. He doesn’t know how you do it, but you’ve got a hold on him unlike anything else. After several minutes, he speaks up.
He sits on the edge of the tub. “If you can give me another chance, I promise not to mess it up. I need you.”
You look into his eyes. “..you scare me.”
He stops moving. “I’m sorry.”
“You change your mind and act differently every day, and with no regard for other people. You have to let me know what you want.”
He leans down and kisses you deeply. When he pulls away he kisses your forehead. “Does that answer it?”
You smile softly and nod.
He then lays you in his bed and after he showers, you fall asleep as he rubs your back and looks onto your soft face.
The truth is, you scare him too. These feelings are all too new to him. He used to live without care for anyone, even himself. Risking his life daily, for he did not care what would happen to him. But now..now he has someone to care for..someone to live for. You are someone he wants to be better for and the power you hold over him for this reason is scary. He felt this longing and care for you even before you let him touch you. Just being your friend was something he was grateful for, but now that you returned his feelings, he truly felt the magnitude of his desire for you.
The next morning, you’re happy to see you’re still in Jaehyun’s arms.
He’s happy to feel you next to him in reality, he doesn’t have to dream about it for once.
[The Next Night]
Johnny loosens his tie as he watches his neighbor pull into his driveway. He sits in his car before heading into his house, sighing while looking out into the night sky. One day, just one day, he’d like to be able to leave work on time. Overtime is his least favorite thing in the world—just in front of gang leaders of course. They make his job incredibly difficult. As the lead detective in his unit, he always has to pick up where the officers slack off at. To make matters worse, he went to his favorite spot for lunch, but the owner wasn’t there for once. He just hopes she’s okay. Maybe she’s getting some well deserved rest finally, he thinks to himself. Although, he finds it odd that you did promise to let him try out a new recipe for an Italian inspired bread. You were so excited when you spoke to him about it two days ago, and yet, you didn’t show.
“And the final touch is oregano! I’m so excited about it, you have to try it on Thursday for me! I trust your opinion.” You said with a wide smile as you sat with him.
“Cute.” He thought to himself as he watched your eyes crinkle.
Suddenly, something catches Johnny’s eye. His neighbor’s front driver window is broken or rather-crumbling apart as he drives in.
He leaves his car and walks over to him.
“What happened?” Johnny’s brows furrow.
His neighbor jumps, startled by the deep voice just behind (and above) his head.
“Oh! UHhh hmmm..well..I work at a bank you know..sometimes people uhhh think I take money home with me haha!” The banker laughs loudly.
Johnny stands there with a stern expression. He doesn’t find it funny.
The banker then clears his throat. “Yeah umm someone broke into it..”
“Did you see them?”
“..kinda.” He shrugs
“Oh that’s terrible..come by tomorrow to submit an official re-“
“No!” The banker raises his voice suddenly, shocking Johnny into stillness.
“I mean..it’s all good, it’s not necessary. I was out on unofficial business anyway!”
Johnny continues. “Are you sure?”
“Yup! I have insurance too so it’ll be fixed within 24 hours! You have a good night!” He waves and starts to walk away.
Johnny watches and wonders why he’d be so nonchalant about the entire thing.
“Quick question..” he calls out and the banker turns hesitantly.
“What did they look like? I’d like to at least know that in case they continue to rob others in the city.”
“Of course! Although..I can’t describe him well..”
“It was a man?”
“Yes..that much I know.. a relatively tall man..he wore all black..a thick black turtleneck and black mask so I couldn’t see anything..”
“What did he use to break into your car?”
The banker chuckles. “You’re not gonna believe this but..he used his fist.”
Johnny’s eyes grow. What kinda maniac breaks through glass like that?
“Anyway! Goodnight!” The banker runs off into his house.
[Two Days Later]
You head back into work like normal, returning after receiving calls from a numerous amount of people asking where you were. It’s unlike you to be missing from your bakery for so long.
Truth is, you and Jaehyun spent A LOT of time together. Each time you tried to recover from your..sessions..Jaehyun would start all over again. It’s clear to see he missed you dearly. Luckily, you knew he didn’t just miss your body. He missed laughing with you too. You watched movies together and he even cooked for you. You couldn’t be happier to be in an official relationship with him.
“I’ll see you later.” You kiss his cheek and pull away. The two of you were leaning against his car, unconcerned about whoever saw you flirting with each other for 15 minutes.
Johnny watches from inside the bakery, sitting at the counter and sipping his coffee.
He looks at Jaehyun who wears a simple black T-shirt and jeans. The tall man looked good, but not as good as he’d look without all those ridiculous drawings in his body. He chuckles, is that jealousy he feels? He could end all of this by just arresting Jaehyun. You’d be safe, he’d be put behind bars finally.. Johnny knows what Jaehyun does, however he doesn’t have enough evidence to put him away for a long time. Jaehyun kept things clean.
What are you doing with him? With a dangerous man that has tattoos covering his neck and arms?
“..covering his neck..” Johnny looks at the counter as he thinks to himself
a thick black turtleneck…
He remembers the banker's description. Who wears a thick black turtleneck in June? Normally, robbers wore a hoodie or thin sweatshirt
His eyes float back up to Jaehyun.
Jaehyun pulls you back for one final kiss and that’s when Johnny sees it.
A bruised right hand with little cuts along his knuckles.
Johnny’s eyes widen, but he quickly becomes calm when you walk in with a wide smile. “Hi! How are you?” You say with a grin.
You’re glowing, and Johnny feels that jealousy tinge in his chest again.
He takes a moment to respond. You put your bags down in the back then come back out while putting your apron on.
“Johnny? Everything okay?”
“Oh! Yes..yes of course…I see you took some time off.”
You smile brightly. “Yes! I needed a little break. I’m glad Mark was able to keep the place in one piece.” You laugh as you look around the somewhat clean bakery.
“Where did you go?”
“Oh..I was here..I mean, in the city..I just spent some time with my..boyfriend.” You smile even harder and giggle to yourself.
He forces a smile. “That’s nice to hear, y/n. I’m glad you’re back.”
“Thanks, Johnny!” You start to load the display with freshly baked cookies and cupcakes as Johnny gets back to drinking his coffee.
If you knew the kind of person Jaehyun was..why would you decide to date him? Jaehyun had to have been hiding his identity from you, Johnny thinks to himself.
And robbing a banker? That’s a low, petty crime for Jaehyun. Why would he do something like that himself? Surely, he’d have one of his minions do it? There were many questions on Johnny’s mind as he sipped quietly. He knows he has to find the answers quickly so he can free you from the deadly man that is Jaehyun.
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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“I make no promises, I can't do golden rings, but I'll give you everything tonight”
Pairing: Mafia Leader!Jaehyun x female reader (bakery/cafe owner)
Genre: Friends to lovers au, fluff, smut and angst
Warnings: gun and violence mention, blood mention, murder, stalking, alcohol mention, Minors DNI!
Smut (unprotected sex, knife play, impregnation kink, rough sex, overstimulation, public sex, car sex)
Word Count: 13k
((A/N: WELL...its been some time, I apologize :( We got two new characters hehe! Also, if you are. jjk fan, the getou version is on our AO3 ;) I hope you enjoy this part, there will be a few more, Im thinking of actually publishing this one so I would love to receive feedback if you have any! Thank youuuu <3)
-------------
[A month later]
“Hey..what do you want to drink?” Your friend taps your shoulder to awaken you from your daze.
With the music booming and the lights flashing, you’d think you’d be wide awake in the club, but the truth was you were thinking about him.
You missed him. You missed his smile, his voice, his comfort. Sure, he was mean when he left, but it didn’t stop your heart from falling in love with him. Although, your mind knew better. He wanted nothing to do with you, so why think about him?
“I’ll take cranberry vodka.” You nod at her.
After a few minutes she hands the drink to you and smiles. “I’m so happy you got a break. Let’s go dance!”
And so you down your drink and head to the dance floor, doing your best to push his image and touch out of your head.
You twirl around, moving your hips freely to the music and feeling your head become heavier by the second.
After nearly 20 minutes you stumble towards the back in search of the bathroom.
“It’s down the hall, honey.” Another bartender points.
You sigh as you relieve yourself. Few things felt as good as peeing while drunk. You look at yourself in the mirror, laughing at how dizzy you felt. But damn were you hot, you went with the perfect dress tonight, how could you not get any attention from the men out there?
Well, you’ll just have to try again, you thought to yourself and stepped out after washing your hands. The only problem with this plan is that you accidentally turned in the opposite direction and left through the back door of the club.
By the time you realized and turned around to get back in, the heavy metal door slammed shut. “Shit.”
You balance yourself on the wall and walk around, and just as you turn the corner you see something familiar.
It’s Jaehyun’s car.
Your eyes widen, your brain immediately pushing away your desire for any male attention other than his. Wait, why are you like this? He doesn’t want you, remember?
But still, it wouldn’t hurt to get a glimpse of him, right?
You walk towards his car and look up at the building it’s parked in front of.
The building is dark, except for one floor with lit up bulbs. Tipsy and without a plan, you head up to it.
The area is sketchy so you really shouldn’t be snooping around, but you text your friends you’ll be back.
As you approach the level, you hear a lot of talking and arguing. You then peek through a hole in a wall separating the hall from the lit up room and see a man tied up in a chair with a bag over his head.
You look to the left to see Jaehyun. The man of your dreams wears a black t-shirt and jeans, and still looks wonderful.
Your eyes widen when you see him wiping a knife with a long blade clean, blood stains the cloth and you breathe heavily as you notice that the man’s arm is dripping in blood.
“It’s a pity you won’t tell us what we need, we’ll find it out anyway..” His familiar voice echoes in the warehouse.
“You can try to drink your problems away but you’ll never escape me.” Jaehyun smiles wickedly at him. It’s a sinister smile that would send anyone running, but not you, of course not. You strangely have the adverse reaction, needing to see that face, one he’d give you as you look over your shoulder to see him ruining you from behind.
Stop.
That’s your drunk mind talking. He was right, no matter how much you drank, you’d never escape him.
Nonetheless, it seems they’d caught the man at the bar you were at right before you got there.
Another henchman brings a crying and tied up woman out from another room and throws her onto the floor in front of the man. The gang member then takes the covering off of the man’s head and the man screams a blood curdling scream as he sees the woman on the floor.
“Your wife has been through a lot already, Leonidas..put her out of her misery now by just telling us the truth..”
Her husband won’t budge, shaking his head and repeating “I’m sorry..I’m sorry I can’t” over and over. You swallow hard. Your hands start to tremble. What is Jaehyun’s plan if he still refuses to cooperate?
And then, one of Jaehyun’s men kicks her in the stomach repeatedly, making her spew out blood. You squint and look away, but the sound of her screams of agony pierce your ears.
You start to cry, covering our mouth to quiet your own sobbing.
“Do you really want to see how ugly this gets?” Jaehyun marches over then stabs her thigh.
You gasp as your eyes widen. No. How could he do this to an innocent woman?
The sight is messy and you turn away again. You shouldn’t be here, you have no business watching this. This can’t be the same man that you daydream about. This can’t be the man that you served pastries and coffee to, or the one that made sure you got home safe every night. You feel sick to your stomach.
The man is still silent, Jaehyun rolls his eyes before leaning down in front of him. “She will suffer because of you, is that really what you want?”
The man looks at his wife who is curled up on the ground and in tears. “Please..forgive me.”
“Leonidas! Please!!” She begs while reaching out for him.
Jaehyun steps back and nods towards another henchman who picks up a gun and shoots the lower part of the woman’s spine before your brain can even comprehend what is happening. The sharp sound nearly deafens you, but you still don’t run away.
Jaehyun looks back at the man as he winces from seeing her writhe like a fish out of water. “Now..she’s paralyzed, was it worth it?”
You step back, but you’re suddenly grabbed up by the collar and dragged into the room by one of the members.
“Hey! Ow!”
He throws you onto the floor, making you jam your knees onto the concrete.
“Look what we got here boss, a snitch.”
Jaehyun turns to you as you curse out. “Shit! Let me go!”
His eyes widen as he breaks his intimidating presence for a moment. “What the hell?!”
“Do you want us to tie her up?” The man grabs you up by your hair as you grunt. You raise your hands in an effort to scratch his strong arms.
“No! Get your hands off her!” Jaehyun hurries over.
The man lets your hair go, making you fall to the floor and grunt.
Jaehyun quickly places the gun down and helps you up. He grabs your wrist, tighter than ever before, nearly crushing your bone as he drags you out and into the hall. “Ow! Jaehyun..you’re hurting me!”
“What the fuck are you doing? Are you crazy?!” He tosses you into a wall, and the fact that you look amazing tonight still doesn’t stop him from being upset about you being there.
“I’m-I’m sorry, I just...I saw your car and -I wanted to see what you were up to and..” you start to sob.
“Why?!”
You sniffle, still tipsy, you can’t hold back the truth. “I missed you and I think..I think I love you.”
His brows furrow. “Love? You can’t fucking love me..”
“Those people..Jaehyun, I…I saw what you did, why are you doing this?”
“Did you like what you fucking saw?! Can you still love me after this? This is what I do, y/n. Get that through your thick skull! I’m not a nice fucking person, I hurt people!” He is infuriated, he doesn’t try to calm you down as you cry harder. He should take a moment to remember that you're probably drunk out of your mind right now, but in his anger, he can't seem to think of that fact.
He’s frightening, you can’t help but tremble under him. His face is filled with fury, and it’s the same face you saw the night he saved you from those two men, but you’re not so sure if you’re as lucky as you were last time.
“I’m sorry-it’s just..I didn’t expect you to—“
“To what?! What y/n?!” He steps closer as he yells.
“Kill innocent people!” You finally let out.
He nods. “Innocent?? What- well! Merry fucking Christmas, hope you liked your surprise. This is exactly why you should stay away from me! You don’t know me! You don’t want to know me! And I don’t want to see you again, do you understand?!”
You don’t respond, you only cry into your hands.
He grabs your wrist again to pull you back into the room.
“Hold her still!” He points to two large men who hold your arms up.
“Jaehyun..stop..please..I’ll leave..” You heave. He picks a gun from the table up.
“No!! Don’t do this..you don’t have to! There’s another way..Jaehyun..please!!”
The man and woman beg him as well, pleading loudly as they desperately try to escape the men and rope that keep them in place as well.
He shoots the husband and wife 3 times each, making you jump and turn away.
You push the henchmen away from you and wail while on the floor.
“Look at me!” Jaehyun commands.
He bends down and takes your chin into his hand, forcing you to look into his eyes as his fingers dig into your cheeks. He looks into your wet, red eyes, but not an ounce of regret flows through him. You had to see this, you had to hate him. Only then could you truly want this separation.
He hated to see you cry, but it was necessary. If you saw him as a saint, if you fell in love with who you thought was a “good man” only to find out how evil he is further down the line, it would only hurt more.
“This is who I am..you shouldn’t..you can’t love me..now get out of here.”
He lets you go. You quickly scurry to your feet.
You run as far as you can while crying, a million thoughts run through your head, the loudest being “how could you be so stupid to fall in love with a gang leader?”
Jaehyun turns to one of the men who starts to put their guns away.
“You just killed our lead, boss.”
Jaehyun stares at the dead man who should’ve provided key information as to where enemy shipments were docking.
“The bastard wasn’t going to tell us anything, he even let his wife die..tomorrow, we’ll see if his friend is just as selfish.”
Jaehyun puts his jacket on and heads out without another word.
On his drive back home, he thinks about everything that happened and if he had to do what he did. The truth is he had to kill them. The minute his guy dragged you into the room, this was decided. Should the man and his wife be let free, they would quickly expose your identity to his rivals and put your life at risk, and he couldn’t have that happening. You messed things up and didn’t even know. To make matters worse, based on his reaction everyone in the room could tell you were special to him.
He lays down in bed and tries to sleep, but after tossing and turning, he decides he should just go to the gym to take out his frustrations.
The punching bag becomes his main target. With every punch he thinks of how he felt when he yelled at you. Why was he so rough? You just confessed your love and this is how he reacts? He doesn’t deserve you. He knew that from the very beginning and his greed and lust still pushed it. He knew it because he didn’t want to just say ‘goodbye’ after having sex with you, he wanted to stay and hold you close, hugging you until the sun rose.
He wanted to whisper sweet words as he watched you sleep in his arms. He had never wanted this from any sexual partner before. Thus, he realized he loves you too, he always will and for that reason he cannot put your life at risk.
He sweats large drops of salty water as he pants.
He sits on the bench, wondering if he should call and apologize for being too harsh on you. He plans on leaving you alone, but the least he could do is apologize first.
He picks the phone up and stares at your unsaved number. But after a few seconds, he decides not to call, putting the phone back on the bench beside him and picking up his water bottle instead.
As he gulps it down, and as he does, he remembers how drunk you were and can’t help but wonder if you got home safely. So he picks the phone up and checks your location.
You’re home.
He sighs. He should stop by and see if you’re awake.
No. He shouldn’t
But once again, Jaehyun can’t resist you.
He uses a lock pick to get into your apartment easily, making note of how he should really get you a chain lock for the inside.
He walks in slowly and quietly before pushing your room door open slightly. And there you were, curled up in bed and snoring lightly. It was nice to know you were sleeping soundly, but he knew his words and actions cut deep this time, maybe too deep to recover from.
He observes your cute face, your brows furrowed slightly and your lips pursed. To be with you—no—to even look at you is a privilege, one he did not deserve.
He places a soothing cream for your wrist on your nightstand as well as a hangover cure drink, then turns to leave.
You take in a sharp breath, causing him to turn around swiftly. Did you wake up?
You breathe heavily, your eyes move quickly under your lids.
“No..no..” You mumble and groan. Your breathing quickens. It sounds like you’re on the verge of a panic attack.
Not knowing how else to help you before it’s too late, he quickly lays down in bed beside you and hugs you from behind. “I got you, baby, it’ll be okay shh.”
He holds you in his arms until you start to breathe normally again. Your eyes never open.
I could stay here..just tonight..it wouldn’t hurt, would it? He already knows the answer. He tells himself he is doing this to help you, but he knows he’s doing it for his own selfish reasons. To be able to feel your warmth, to smell your hair, to listen to you breathe in the stillness of the night, that’s why he does it.
Your eyes open slightly but he can’t see, you try to process what exactly is happening while panicking for a moment, but then it clicks. His cologne surrounds you just as his arms do.
Jaehyun.
He was hugging you close as you dreamt.
You decide to close your eyes and enjoy your last moment with him, with the man you could only know now as a cold hearted killer.
After a few minutes, he slowly releases you from his hold and gets out of the bed.
You both needed to be away from each other for now, so he silently leaves your apartment and heads home.
You wake up the next morning alone and with a splitting headache.
You rub your temple, squinting as the sun peers through your window. Then, you feel another aching pain.
You look down at your wrist and it all comes back to you.
“Shit.” You whisper to yourself.
What happened the night before was real..very real actually. Jaehyun made it clear that he wasn’t interested in you anymore, so now the only thing you can do is move on and try to forget him. Try.. at least try. You get up and get ready for work after downing the drink he left for you on your nightstand. That strange bastard. How can he care for you, but hurt you at the same time?
[One Month Later]
Jaehyun mustered up the courage to face you finally. He just couldn’t bear it anymore. Every day he had to watch you travel your usual route from home to work as a little dot on his phone screen. He refused to do it any longer. He had to see you, hear from you, touch you..hold you. It’s the only way he’d feel sane again.
He sits at his usual spot, meanwhile, you didn’t notice he’s even opened the door. Why? You’re too caught up in a conversation with another man. You smile and laugh a bit too much for his liking. How could you? How could you share your happiness with another man while he aches for you?
How and why are you flirting with another customer? And in just a few minutes he hears it.
“Thank you Johnny, I’ll see you next time.”
You even call him by his first name?
The man takes his bag of bread and heads out with a small smile.
Jaehyun looks back at you, only to catch you smiling hard as Johnny leaves.
But then, your smile fades when you see him.
You flinch when you see him at your counter and he notices. He really did scare you that night. He thinks to himself. His heart does hurt when he remembers how badly he messed up, but his mind is enraged with the thought that you may have moved on.
You look away and start to wipe down the counter.
“Do you know all your customer’s first name’s now?” Jaehyun says as he tilts his head. You ignore him.
You look over your shoulder to the back.
“Mark! There’s someone out here who needs help”
“Ok!”
You resume your chore, scrubbing an already clean surface as you try not to face Jaehyun. He controlled your every thought night and day. He’s no good for you, you know that, and you figured distance and time would help. Yet, here he was. Never allowing that theory to come true as he closes in on distance and takes up your time.
Mark looks around nervously. You hired Mark shortly after that incident so you could 1. Not be alone with any creeps and 2. Get some help in the bakery. There’s no way you can handle all the work yourself.
He clears his throat. “What would you like to order?
Jaehyun chuckles, “A minute with the owner.”
Mark sighs then looks back at you while you place fresh cookies on the display. He turns back to Jaehyun and pouts. “Unfortunately, we don’t have that”
Jaehyun frowns. He feels like an asshole for how he acted. Technically, he had no right to be upset with you, and he only came to apologize. You don’t owe him a word and you’re clearly upset, so there’s no point in making your pain last longer.
Mark sighs and walks away.
“Y/n..how I acted that night..was completely unacceptable. I was..worried about you, but I made a fool of myself and went too far. You don’t deserve that, and I’m so sorry. I understand why you don’t wish to speak with me..but I will never stop hoping that one day you do.” He stands up.
You look him in the eyes, holding back tears as your chest rumbles.
”Please leave if you don’t plan on ordering anything.” You say through thin lips.
You head to the back office as Mark takes over the front.
You try to act like you don’t care but deep down you do. and as you sit at your desk, you lay on your arms and wonder what should you do. Why does your heart feel so heavy with guilt? You’re the one that’s hurt, right? You deserve better, so just wait for it. But no..you want him, you can’t deny it. He was terrifying that night, he went too far.
However, as news surfaced about the couple he killed, mysteriously found dead in the woods, the truth about their wrongdoings came to light. They used money from drug trafficking to start up their own ring of slave trafficking, a completely new level of crime. You remembered enjoying coffee one night while closing. You asked Jaehyun if his job entailed hurting innocent people and he assured you he didn’t, turns out, he was right.
Long story short, he saved a few innocent lives by taking care of those rotten demons. He is an interesting variation of Batman.
He still scared you though, that you wouldn’t deny.
Jaehyun is dissatisfied with you ignoring him, but he leaves you alone.
[The Next Month]
“Happy Birthday Mark!” You and your friends yell out at the busy nightclub.
Mark smiles widely and thanks everyone before putting two soon-to-be-emptied bottles up in the air.
You dance the night away and do some drinking yourself. You bump hips with Mark and throw your hands in the air while having an amazing time. The lights flash, the music is nearly deafening and the floor shakes under your feet. It’s nice to let go.
“Want another shot?” Mark pushes his hair back while leaning towards you.
Feeling quite tipsy, you shake your head. “I’m good!” You didn’t need things to go south like they did the last time you got drunk.
Mark hugs you tightly before running off to the bar. You laugh while watching him prance away without a care in the world.
A few feet away from you sits the club's owner. He takes a long drag from his cigarette and lets it rest inbetween his fingers while leaning back.
“Let’s dance, babe…it’s too boring here!” The girl in a tight hot pink dress sitting beside him runs her hand over his thigh. He brushes her away and scoots further down on the couch.
“I’ll tell you what..go ahead and dance and if I like the way you move, I’ll join you.”
She jumps up and runs to the floor, still oblivious to the fact that his attention has been on someone else the entire time.
“Hey.” You hear a low voice call out from behind. You turn to see a tall man with blue hair gazing down at you with wide eyes.
Why not? You think to yourself. It’s been a while since you’ve felt the embrace of a hot guy.
You start to dance, letting the music flow through your bodies as they grind against each other.
He runs his hand along your throat, tilting your chin so that he can access your lips from behind. You can feel his steamy breath hit your bottom lip, you’re so close and then-
You’re separated.
“What the fuck, dude?” The man lets out when he sees a girl in a tight pink dress walk away after bumping into the two of you hard.
“Sorry about that.” a male voice calls out from behind you. You turn and gasp.
Jaehyun.
“She got a little carried away.” He walks after the girl. Your heart drops. Did he just brush past you like that? Not even a glance or “hi.” Are you really nothing to him?
You shouldn’t be surprised. You’re the one that cut things off. So why does it hurt so bad to see him with someone else?
“You good?” The blue haired man interrupts your thoughts.
You force a smile. “Yeah..yeah for sure! Do you..want to go to the bathroom?”
He smiles widely and takes your hand. The two of you struggle to make your way through the crowd and towards the back to continue your makeout session.
Jaehyun watches you and sends a message to one of his men.
He tells them to lock the bathroom doors. He knew you were less likely to make out with the guy in public like this.
He had to stop it.
“Hey! You said you like the way I move, let’s dance!” The girl grabs his arm.
He pulls away, gently taking her hand off of him. “I’ll be right back.”
He hurries to the back where he sees you both struggling to open the door. Suddenly, the power is cut off. You can’t see anything and now the guy's hand has left yours. Everyone yells and screams. Some screaming out of fear, some screaming out of excitement. It’s chaos, but after just 10 seconds, the flashing lights and music come back on.
Your makeout partner, however, is gone.
You look everywhere for the handsome blueberry, but he’s nowhere to be found.
“Shit.” You say quietly then head back to the dance floor to look for Mark and your friends.
Jaehyun owned the club so it didn’t take long for him to get what he wanted. Power off? Got it. Bathrooms closed? Done. Blue haired guys get kicked out for no reason? Absolutely.
You push your way through the crowd and bump into Jaehyun again. This time, the girl he was with earlier has an arm around his neck while dancing against his chest. He has a cigarette in his mouth, but gives you a sly smile when he sees you watching them.
She grinds on him but his eyes are focused on you. His dark eyes are hard to resist, boring holes into your skull and making your clothes feel even tighter than they were before. You swallow hard then turn away quickly and continue to look for Mark.
The night goes on and you continue to dance with your friends. It’s not until about 3 AM that everyone is ready to leave.
You wait for an UVER outside with a hammered Mark.
“Boss. That was..so..fun..” he slurs out.
“I’m glad you had a great time.” you laugh out as he rests his head on your shoulder.
30 minutes have passed and UVER drivers have either declined the ride or not shown up at all. “What the hell is going on?”
Other people had their designated drivers and were heading home already. The night air starts to feel extra chilly when you realize it’s just the two of you outside now.
“Busy night?..” a man says as he drives up to the front of the club.
You look into the car. “Yeah it seems like-“ your face drops.
“I can drop you guys off if you’d like.” Jaehyun continues.
You step back. “We’re good..thank you.”
“Please y/n..you’re on the way anyway.”
“I said we’re fine! Just leave us-“
Mark stumbles to the ground, falling face flat.
“Shit!” You yell out then try to pick him up.
Jaehyun hops out of the car to help you.
“The UVER should..ugh..be here in a few minutes.”
Jaehyun leans Mark against his car and looks at you with a serious, almost scary expression. “Are you lying to me?”
You roll your eyes. “Why are you talking to me like I’m a child? Just leave us alone.”
“I’ll wait until it gets here.”
“We don’t need you to do that”
“It’s my choice, I won’t go home until everyone else does.”
“Oh, are you pulling a Batman again?”
“Come on y/n, think about the surge rates..”
You look away and cross your arms.
“I was a dick, I know-“
“Was?” You raise an eyebrow.
“But let me make it up to you, I’ll drop you both off, he can get rest and you can get home safely..please.”
You look at your phone and sure enough UVER has boosted the price 5x.
You look at Mark then at Jaehyun. “Fine.”
He helps you put Mark in the car. He sleeps and lays on his side on the backseat.
You then sit in the passenger seat with your hands in your lap. A few minutes pass and Jaehyun can’t help it.
“How are you?”
“I’m fine.”
He nods.
“Did you like the nightclub?”
You don’t respond this time, you only look out of the window as he drives.
A few seconds pass and only Mark’s snoring fills the tense air.
“We worked hard on it, changed the tiles, redid the bar, and-“
“How are you always conveniently popping up?” You ask him angrily.
“You can’t just come to my club and not expect to see me, y/n..” he says smoothly.
You turn to him.
“My..club?”
He can’t contain his laughter “oh you had no idea huh?”
“You never told me you owned a nightclub..”
“I never told you much about my job, baby”
You shiver when he says “baby” in such a low tone.
You scoff. “Job..if that’s what you call it.” You roll your eyes and relax into the seat.
‘And that’s why it didn’t work’ is what you want to say, but you don’t.
“I also didn’t know you started smoking again.”
Jaehyun can’t help but smile. You’re worried about him, and it shows in how much attention you give him. You still care.
“I didn’t..just needed a little something tonight.”
“Good. I hate the smell.”
He looks at you to see if you realized your mistake.
“Does it matter anymore? I’m never near you..” He tilts his head.
“Oh…right.” You say quietly.
He clears his throat. “How have you been though? Is the business doing well?”
“I don’t want to talk, Jaehyun.”
And there it is. You shut him out again. Was what he did that bad? Yeah, he may have killed a person..two people..in front of you..twice, and yeah, he may have yelled and said awful things. But did it warrant this treatment from you? Well..yes. You’re too good for him, he needs to remember that. He swallows hard when he comes to the realization that he will never stop trying to get you back. Whether it takes 1 month, 5 years, or a decade, deep down, he will always want you.
He waits for a few minutes to pass then he tries again.
“Come on sweetheart, we can start over.” He grips the steering wheel tightly with one hand.
The slight airiness in his voice sends you back to the night you had with him. His sweaty skin against your body, his large hands gripping you tightly enough to wring you dry. All while he pants and leans into your ear to call you “sweetheart.”
You close your legs tightly and shake the memory away.
You chuckle. You can’t believe the audacity of this man.
“First of all don’t call me that…and it seems to me you’re already starting something with another girl.”
“Oh?..did that upset you?”
You turn to him. “Seeing a cold killer dance with someone? No..no I’m not upset at all, I feel bad for her.”
he glances at Mark to make sure he’s still sleeping. “A killer? Me?” He chuckles.
“He’s passed out, and even if he wasn’t I’d kill you if you laid a finger on him.”
“Oo a threat?, I’d like to see you try, I wonder if you’d start trembling again?”
“Oh fuck off.” You roll your eyes.
“What about that Johnny guy? What’s his deal?”
You bunch your brows. “Oh did that upset you?”
Jaehyun shakes his head and looks into the road sternly. “You guys just seem close, that’s all.”
“You think I’m sleeping with every customer I know on a first name basis now?”
“No-that’s not-“
“Yes, Jaehyun, you caught me. I’m fucking Johnny and other customers before and after work every day, happy?”
He turns to you, clenching his jaw and narrowing his eyes.
“Don’t do that.”
“Don’t do what?” You turn back to him.
“Don’t get sarcastic with me.”
“Or what?”
Just then Mark snores loudly, so loud you jump in your seat. The two of you burst out into laughter.
The rest of the drive is silent. You both help Mark into his apartment, then Jaehyun drives you to yours.
He lets you out at the loop right in front of the building. “Do you want me to walk you up?”
You turn to him before stepping out of his car. “Since when do I need help to get to my apartment?. Goodbye Jaehyun.”
He takes your hand. “I..I’m sorry.”
“I know you are.” You withdraw it from his hold and walk away.
The night ends just like countless other nights have ended for him, he dreams about you, grasping the sheets on his bed, hoping to feel your skin just once. Eventually, he gives up and either works out or stands in front of his floor to ceiling windows with a cigarette in hand while watching the sun rise.
[Two Weeks Later]
Jaehyun holds your hand gently, helping you into the massive teacup you’re about to ride in together. It’s been a great day at Disney, and now with the sun setting, casting a warm glow onto your lover's face, you enjoy one last ride together.
The cups spin and spin, making you slide up and down the curved bench inside. Jaehyun giggles and reaches out for you to hold you close. You rest in his broad arms, time seems to stand still for a moment. You only feel the peace of the air in between you, the longing gazes, and the golden hue of the sky.
His smile fades into a frown. “I’m sorry sweetheart..”
Your brows bunch together. “Sorry? About what?”
You’re jolted awake by the sound of your vibrating phone.
“Damn it..” you rub your eyes before grabbing your phone. Another stupid dream about your stupid ex-wait, could you even call him that?
You yawn while scratching your head. “I really gotta stop doing that.” But you can’t control your dreams, they manifest from what your heart wants. Nonetheless, you unlock your phone to see what the notification is.
It’s a text
Banker: let’s meet to discuss a few things about your application.
You nod to yourself. “Perfect.”
You knew what the Banker meant when he said he wanted to meet up. In exchange for him tweaking a few things on your loan application, you’ll satisfy his..specific needs. Will this be your proudest moment? Probably not, but you need to do what you need to do.
You swallow hard. Jaehyun’s face of disappointment enters your mind.
“Ugh…” you lay back down in bed. He did have a point. Why should you sell yourself when someone you actually like is willing to give you money for just existing?
Then you remind yourself. Where is that money coming from? It’s blood money, and you want nothing to do with it.
And sure, he’d be disappointed, but what does that change? At the end of the day you still have a stack of bills that are starting to tilt like the tower of Pisa on your dining table.
“Wait..what he thinks doesn’t matter.” You sit back up in bed and laugh to yourself.
You: Okay
[The Next Day]
Jaehyun pours the milk over his cereal before exhaling loudly. He still regrets how he acted with you, he misses you more than anything, but what can he do to fix everything? The truth is he knows he’ll have to let you go, you deserve better anyway. You deserve peace and a partner that can help you run your business. A partner that will bake with you then go over your finances together.
Jaehyun sits down while imagining what he thinks is the life you deserve. You and your partner could eventually offer catering and delivery services for your bakery, you could hire more people so you wouldn’t have to work so hard. And then you’d have time for kids-
Kids..
Jaehyun’s smiles fondly. “She’d be a good mom…”
All of this can and will happen..just not with him. He needs to let you go, for the thought of you being with someone else is just too hurtful. The time is now, he needs to change now. And the first step is deleting the tracker app.
He unlocks his phone and opens the app for the last time. “She’s probably at the bakery right now..”
But no…you’re not at the bakery. You’re in a random parking lot.
He chews slowly and stares with a puzzled expression.
Any plans that you made would likely be in your text or map history, so he decides to take a look at your recent texts.
He puts his spoon down, standing straight up as what he sees shocks him to his core.
“The fucking banker.”
Jaehyun grabs his jacket and runs out.
He’s furious especially since you already tried doing it this way and he stopped it. How could you do this to him? How could you do this to yourself? He speeds to your location.
Meanwhile, you and the banker sit in his car in the middle of a relatively empty parking lot. You sit nervously in the passenger seat.
The banker tells you that he went over your profile and application, and he’d be happy to approve your loan with the minimum interest.
You’re ecstatic and relieved. “Oh my god…that’s amazing, thank you!”
The 50-something year old looks into your eyes and nods. “I made it work for you.”
“I appreciate that..”
He leans forward and stares at your lips. “You are so beautiful, I had to do something to help.”
You take a deep breath and try to accept what’s happening, but you can’t bring yourself to meet him halfway.
He opens his eyes. “Oh..is this too much? I’m sorry, I-“
“Oh no..it’s fine..but I’m..not ready yet..”
He looks defeated, and sits back in his seat.
The guilt starts to rip through you, he isn’t pushy or aggressive. He genuinely is helpful, but the attraction just isn’t there.
You break the silence. “I’d rather let you touch me.”
You’re quiet and shy, a stark contrast to how you are with Jaehyun because deep down, you don’t really want it.
“Oh..really?”
You nod.
He leans forward, biting his bottom lip as he reaches out. He caresses the warm skin of your neck before moving his hand further down to your shoulder.
You swallow hard as the man pushes your strap off your shoulder slowly, then drags his thumb over your bra.
“Is this okay?” He asks. You nod, desperate to have him finish quickly so you can go home and relax. He puts his other hand into his pants.
Yes, finally-just get it over with and-
*crash*
The driver window suddenly shatters as someone punches through it.
You scream as you watch the masked man covered in black attire from head-to-toe punch the banker through the window in seconds. There’s glass everywhere, on the floor, in your lap, and all over the banker’s clothing and hair.
He then grabs him by the collar and drags him out of the car through the space created by the broken window.
The banker screams, but the man holds the banker up by the collar and chokes him until he loses consciousness. Your mouth falls open, he may just kill the banker.
“Stop! Please! He didn’t do anything! We were just-“
The man lets the banker’s limp body drop to the floor. You sit in silence as you watch him look down on his body for a few seconds. Then, a chill attacks your spine. He lifts his head and his focus slowly shifts to your face.
Your eyes widen. The panic sets in and you jump out of the car, running away from the masked man.
He runs after you at an alarming speed. His steps triple that of yours. You can’t out run him. He grabs you by the waist and swings you around.
You flail in his arms. “Please!! Please don’t hurt me!”
He doesn’t say anything, he simply throws you over his shoulder and takes you to his black van. You sob and beg him to let you go.
He only turns back around and walks to the banker. He takes his wallet and watch then walks back to you while shoving them in his pocket. Through the small slit over his eyes you can see a menacing darkness. You have no idea what his intentions are, but you don’t think they’re good. You look around you to see rope, tape, bags of cement, bricks, and a shovel. You start hyperventilating and scurry to the corner of the van to get away from him, but he still gets closer and closer to you.
“Hands behind you.” The man says through a voice changing box. You do as he says and place your arms behind you. He easily spins you around and ties you up with rope. He then spins you back and stares into your eyes.
“Please..let me go..I don’t even know him that well..if he owes you, just take it out on him..”
The man doesn’t say anything, he looks at your exposed shoulder and drooping bra cup now resting slightly above your nipple. He reaches over, a flinch escaping you as a result.
He keeps moving his hand until he grabs the strap and fixes your dress over your bra again. His icy fingers graze your skin.
You swallow hard and start to relax just a bit. “Th-thank you.”
He leaves the back of the van, slamming the door shut before jumping into the driver’s seat.
In a few hours, the banker is hit with the worst headache of his life. He stands up slowly and looks at his broken window. Then, it all starts to come back to him. He sighs. He doesn’t have his wallet or watch, but he’s more than happy to be alive. He heads home like nothing happened. He’s pretty sure you were kidnapped, but what could he do? He can’t tell any one of what happened or call the police because technically he isn’t supposed to be meeting with clients, especially not in sketchy areas like that.
Telling the truth would only make things harder for him. He shrugs his shoulders and turns the radio up.
Once in a secluded area, the man parks and opens the van door.
“Please let me go, I won’t tell anyone about this I-“
He takes his mask off and you gasp.
“Y-you..you fucking bastard.”
Jaehyun doesn’t respond, he unties you and with the van door still open, you dash out of the van and run.
Finally, you’re free. Just keep running and then-
You come to an abrupt halt when you realize you’re at the edge of a cliff.
“Shit.” Your eyes widen.
“Help!!! Help me!!!” You yell but the echo only comes back to you.
“No one can hear you scream out here, sweetheart.” Jaehyun says as he walks towards you at a leisurely pace.
You walk back to him angrily. He smirks slightly.
You slap him hard. “Take me home now! I can’t believe you fucking kidnapped me!” His face swings to the left, and he steps back in surprise. He looks back at you with narrow eyes as he clenches his jaw.
“Saved you. And no, not until you explain what the hell you were doing with that creep.”
“Oh my god…I don’t even know if he’s okay..did you kill him?” Your hands grip your head.
“No, he’ll just be out for a little while.”
“Why the hell would you do that?”
“I could’ve done worse if I wanted to, you already know that.” He steps closer to you. His eyes darken, and that scary, murderous glint in them starts to show through.
“Now..explain what you were doing…or I WILL go back and kill him so there’s no chance of it happening again.”
“You’re crazy! I don’t owe you an explanation! You mean nothing to me!” You say too fast without realizing that it was a lie and mistake.
Jaehyun is shocked, but he chuckles, tilting his head to the side in a sort of ‘well, well, well’ manner.
Is this what he needs to hear to finally let you go?
“I-“ you sigh and your voice lowers slightly. “You know what I mean, Jaehyun. We aren’t married, we aren’t dating, we’re not even friends. Why should I explain my personal life to you?”
“So what? I’m supposed to act like I don’t fucking care?”
Your eyes widen as you walk towards him again with frantically moving hands. “Yes! Yes exactly! Because one second you do care and the next you don’t, it’s driving me crazy! What is it that you want?!”
“You already know that answer.” He tilts his head.
“God, Jaehyun. I’m done with your games.” You wave him off and turn away.
“You didn’t want it, y/n. I saved you.”
You flick your head back to him. “Well, Batman, guess what? I was so close to getting what I needed! But of course, you make it about yourself.” You put your hands on your hips and look back out at the cliff. “Plus, you scared the shit out of me!”
“And I’m sorry about that, but it was necessary.”
You scoff. “Necessary? You always do what you think is necessary without considering how it might affect me…”
“It’s what’s best for you, y/n.”
You close your eyes tightly. “Oh my God, you’re impossible.”
After a few seconds of silence, you pretend to walk by him, but quickly grab his pocket knife from his front pocket. He spins around when he notices, but you press it into his neck quickly.
He chuckles before tilting his mouth into a devious smile. “You never told me you were a spy..” he says sarcastically after seeing you move with such precision.
Truth was, after nearly getting pick pocketed, and possibly worse, on the night he saved you, you took up self-defense classes.
“I’m not playing around, Jaehyun. Take me home.” You press the blade in slightly.
He’s surprised, but he knows you won’t actually hurt him. “Come on y/n..this isn’t you.”
He has to admit that seeing you like this did turn him on slightly. He feels a twitch in his pants as he imagines you holding the knife to his neck, riding him while you cry his name out to the heavens. Then he’d grab it from you and flip you over so he could pound into you from behind, holding the knife to your neck as he smashes his hips into you. You’d be the prettiest broken thing by the time he’s done with you.
“I’m different now, I’ve seen the things you do, I want nothing to do with you.” You were lying, you still love him. You dream about him nearly every night and your heart races when you think of him, even as you try to remember how cruel he is.
He steps forward, forcing you to walk backwards to the van, still looking into your wide eyes.
“W-what are you doing? Stop moving!” You blink rapidly.
“Do it, sweetheart, kill me, if I mean nothing to you…do it.” He smiles.
As turned on as he is right now, he knows that you are heartbroken because of him and now is his chance to be completely honest about his adoration of you. He needed to fix things fast. If you wanted to leave him after this, you should at least know how he feels first.
With the knife still pressed against him, he leans down closer to you.
“I’m sorry..I’m so sorry. But I miss you..” he searches your panicking eyes before continuing. “I need you, I can’t go five minutes without wishing you were near me. You’re the only person I’ve truly..felt something with and I panicked, I don’t know what to do, I’ve never…”
You swallow hard, but don’t lift the knife away. Not yet. You need to hear more.
He pauses and looks away. “I don’t know. I don’t deserve you, I know that. But I’m a greedy bastard, I want you anyway.” His eyes float downward to your lips. Despite trembling like he expected you to, you don’t remove the knife.
“You can kill me if you’d like, that will be the only way for my mind and body to rest without you..” He continues to close the distance between you. “..but before you do, just kiss me one last time.”
Your mouth falls open. You’re stunned, still searching his eyes for a sign that he may be joking, but of course, no sign is there. The stone cold man with menacing tattoos just revealed how madly in love he is with you and you can’t do anything but stare in shock.
Your mind is telling you to run, to grab the keys, start the van, and drive home. But your heart..your body..your soul..you can’t leave him.
You stumble and fall into the van. The knife drops out of your hand and Jaehyun leans forward, caging you in between his arms as you lay down. You breathe heavily and stare at each other’s lips.
He wants to taste them so badly, but he waits for you. It could take all night, but he’d wait for you. Just one, that’s all he asks for before this is all over.
And after waiting for a painfully long amount of time, you hold his face with your hand and kiss him. Your heads turn and your tongues explore each other.
He crawls over you, holding himself up with one arm while the other hooks itself under your leg and pushes your knee to your chest. Frantic and steamy breaths cover your bodies.
You lean forward on your elbows, starting to zip your dress down from the back, but he stops you. He picks his pocket knife up and cuts through it easily, causing an embarrassing moan to escape you. You help him take his shirt off too. The look on his face is one of pure hunger and it’s hot.
“I hate you so much.” You say softly then reach for his face again. You kiss harder, so hard your teeth clink against his.
He leans back to get air after a few seconds then pants as he looks down at your body in a gorgeous lilac lingerie set. “You were really about to let that loser see you in this?” He tilts head while carefully dragging the knife against your bare skin.
You take in a sharp breath as goosebumps raise across it. Answer incorrectly and you could just become a kebab right then and there. But part of you wants to push him
You nod. “If you don’t love me right, I may still let him see it after this .”
His eyes narrow as his tone deepens. “Don’t..push it.”
“Don’t disappoint me..” you hold his face in one hand while looking into his eyes, easily maneuvering your way to his thick hair. He blushes then begins to kiss you as your hands run through this locs. He groans at the feeling of your fingertips on his scalp.
You giggle. “Are you blushing?”
“No..” he groans against your chest, ignoring the way his face feels like it is on absolute fire.
“Liar.” You smile and massage his scalp with your fingers. You unhook your bra and throw it to the side.
He caresses your breasts while kissing you then grabs your legs by the crook of your knees and fixes himself between them.
“I want you too, Jaehyun..I’ve never felt this way either..but I can’t take you hurting me anymore.” You whisper. “Promise me you won’t hurt me again.”
He kisses your neck. “I promise..to love you and care for you for as long as you’ll let me, y/n.”
He leans back and takes in the sight once more. You look up at him, staring at his defined abs, impressive chest and rock hard biceps. You should’ve recognized him as the masked man from the beginning. Only he could confidently swing you around like you weigh nothing. He drags the cold tip of the knife along your thigh and then hip. You shiver at the feeling, he loves to see your chest rising and falling.
He uses the knife to tug the fabric covering your pussy. You gasp as you feel the cold object being so close to you.
Then with a quick swipe he cuts through the left strap of your underwear that hugs your hips. “Jaehyun! I love this set! What are you-“
He cuts the other side.
You draw in a sharp breath. “Damn it.”
“Now..no one else will have seen it but me.” He lightly drags the dull side of the knife along your cloth-covered slit to see goosebumps a little bit longer the second time. When he finally cuts the other side, he removes the wet fabric to see your flower dripping and aching for him. He licks his lips and breathes heavily. He feels he might go crazy if he doesn’t fuck you right away.
He leans down to kiss you again.
His fingers find your folds, collecting the essence. You whimper into his mouth, feeling his digits enter you slowly, stretching you out to prepare for him.
He pulls away to speak softly against your lips. “Are you going to listen to me? Are you going to obey me like a good girl?”
And in the golden hue of the setting sun, he is magnificent. You can’t help but moan and nod. You’ll say yes to anything at this point, he could tell you to walk 100 miles with him in the rain or snow and you’d agree to it.
Your eyes roll back, you shut them and bite your lip as he works his fingers, your hips rocking against his palm.
He leans back and grabs your chin with his other hand. He looks into your eyes with a dark, lustful gaze like he can’t wait to tear you apart. “Speak.”
“Yes…I’ll do whatever you say.” Your eyes round as you look up at him, feeling beautiful in (half of) your special set.
The corner of his mouth lifts slightly. “Perfect.” He pushes his pants down in one quick motion.
“Can you close the van door?” You ask innocently, trying not to look down at his long dick, tip red and swollen with pre cum leaking. He strokes it slowly, watching as you swallow hard.
And if he had time, he’d torture you by forcing you to watch him pleasure himself before decorating your belly with all that he’s saved up for you.
He’d lick it up, then kiss you so you could taste it too. He’d lick along your opening until you beg for him to stop, then he’d be hard again and start all over. All while not letting you feel his dick.
You’d be unsatisfied like he’s been all these painful weeks without you. The desperate pleading and whiny noises that would escape you would get him there quickly too. Fortunately for you, your pussy feels so good around his fingers, he knows he’d be a fool not to paint your insides tonight.
He looks back at the quiet woods surrounding the van, no one is there, but the thought of someone actually peaking from behind a tree to watch and listen to him fuck you until you’re a sobbing mess makes it hotter. They can see how good he, only himself, can make you feel. They can grow envious of how well you take him, all while not being able to do a damn thing about it.
Of course, he’s being dramatic. No one is there. But it doesn’t mean he won’t put on a show.
He smirks when he turns back to you.
“Why? Scared someone will see you being a complete slut for me? Scared someone will hear you?”
You shake your head. “N-no, it’s just-”
He enters you quickly, pushing in so deep your body can’t help but clench in an effort to push out the penetrative object. You hold back a loud scream as he takes you suddenly.
You arch your back.
“Fuck..nno..I..” you press your hands against his chest.
“Hmmm what was that?” He pulls out then pushes in again. You feel every ridge, every vein. Even after all this time, you still have each and every inch memorized. It’s like he owns you. Like he’s made you into his own personal fuck toy.
He grabs your waist with both hands and pulls out then pushes all the way back in like he’s trying to beat some world record for deepest penetration.
He goes even deeper than before, knocking the wind out of your chest.
This time, you can’t hold back, you scream loudly and grab his shoulders with both hands. “Jaehyun! I can’t-!”
He chuckles then places both ankles on his shoulders. He places his hand on your stomach. “Relax, my love, have you forgotten how I feel?”
He pulls out completely then pushes in again. He clicks his tongues. “Shame..now this will take more time.”
He stays in and rubs his hand along your stomach while you pant.
You push his pelvis away as your head falls back. “Too much!”
“Nothing is too..” he thrusts. “Much..” he thrusts harder then pulls out. “For..” he thrusts hard enough to shake the entire van.
“You..” he pulls out then pushes completely in again, ruthlessly fucking you to fit him. “I know my good girl can handle it.”
You whine and shake your head. “Jaehyun! Ahhh..I ca-..” he shuts you up with a kiss, licking over your bottom lip and swallowing your tongue as you cry. Your nails dig tiny craters into his back while he drives you insane.
He pulls away and kisses your jaw. “So..tight, my love.” He starts to suck your neck hard.
You feel his hands grip you tightly to hold you still. Tears fall from the sides of your eyes after feeling so stuffed you might break.
But within a few minutes, you’re meeting him halfway, swaying your hips slightly to get him to hit that spot. You can’t stop mewling and telling him how good it feels. Your head falls back, your mouth falls open. He controls your body with every movement he makes, fulfilling every filthy desire you’ve had for him these last few days. How could you ever hope to be satisfied by anyone else? You want to praise him, you need to praise him. And so you do, chanting his name over and over in between faint and breathy yes’.
“See? You take me so well.” He watches your boobs move up and down with each thrust and even in this dull van, you are vibrant. Your beauty is that of angels that only grace this earth for minutes at a time before returning to heaven. He’s never seen anything like it.
He loves everything about you, from the curve of your top lip to your warm thighs, he can’t get enough.
“My pretty girl..” he runs his hand down the center of your chest as one hand holds your waist. His hand goes all the way down, just to hover over your clit.
You look down and moan, but quickly swallow it as it’d be embarrassingly loud.
He only laughs while rubbing circles onto your clit. “Cum for me, baby..I can feel you holding it in. Remember, no one can hear you out here.”
He moves in and out more easily as your slick coats him. He leans forward, biting a nipple while his fingertips massage your clit. “Come on..give it to me, sweetheart, I missed you.”
And so you do. You shake and hold his arms for stability, crying out his name amongst swear words only nature can hear. “Good girl…” he teasingly flicks his tongue against your nipple while staying inside you.
Your hand caresses his scalp as you start to come down. You breathe heavily, quickly building sweat on your body.
He leans back and pulls out slowly, staring down at your entrance that leaks all over the floor of the van.
“Give me another one sweetheart, you’re so pretty like this.”
You shake your head. “I’m sensitive..I just need-.” But it’s too late, he’s already slid his slender fingers back into you, brushing against your walls so he can coat them with his own slick. “Wait!”
Your fingernails find his back and scratch into him again as he moves faster. “S-slow…please.”
“You said you’d follow my orders..” he pulls out completely, then pushes his fingers into you. He lays on his side while you still lay on your back, trying to regain your composure.
He watches as your eyes and legs close tightly.
“Let me see my pretty girl..” He swats your legs apart then rubs your clit mercilessly with his other hand.
“Hnn..not yet, please..” you gasp as you feel the pressure of his fingertips.
“That’s it, right?” He says as he finds your sweet spot. He kisses your lips, swallowing your whimpers. You start to melt.
You can’t take it anymore, you yell his name out into the night and grab his wrist as you climax again. He chuckles, then removes your hand so he can keep moving. A puddle builds under you as your entire body loses all sense of control. “Good girl..look at the mess you’re making.”
You pant and your mouth falls open.
He places his fingers into it. “Taste yourself.”
You lick around his fingers but his other hand still circles around your clit at a fast pace. Your eyes widen. “Don’t look so shocked.” He gives a sly smile.
You squirm in his arms, picking your body up from the floor, but his toned body won’t let you escape.
“It’s what you want..what you need.” He turns you on your side and hugs you tightly from behind. You reach out for the back of the driver seat to try to pull yourself away from him, but your fingertips just brush the black leather.
Jaehyun chuckles.
“Where are you going? You have to give me more..” he holds you tightly against him, entering you once more.
“No more, please!” you push against his hips, but there’s no use. He continues to hold onto you and make you mush.
He moves repeatedly as you reach out for anything to grab, but only finding the cold metal of the van.
“Jaehyun!” Your head falls back. You shut your eyes tightly, feeling that ache in the pit of your stomach grow stronger. You have no choice but to accept that he won’t let you go. He stimulates you so well, you wonder how you can cry out for release, but desire more at the same time.
“Imagine someone IS out there..imagine they’re watching us and touching themselves right now..you’d like that, wouldn’t you?” he whispers into your ear.
Unfortunately, your pussy betrays you by clenching at the possibility.
He chuckles lowly and it makes goosebumps raise. “That’s my girl..you like people watching you take my seed…it’s gonna be so deep inside, and you’re gonna show them how well you hold it in for me like a good girl, right?”
All you can do is whimper.
He chuckles when seeing how mesmerized you are by him. Your mouth falls open but nothing comes out.
“What if I keep you here? Breed you over and over?” He places his hand on your stomach again. “You’d be even prettier with a swollen belly and big, full tits. What do you say?“
You moan loudly and tremble.
Everything he says pushes you closer, you can’t think straight, you want to feel him everywhere. He’s all you can think about.
“Sweetheart? I need an answer.” He nips the back of your neck.
“Yes..yes!”
You quiver around him. His steamy breath hits the back of your ear while he bends over you.
“Yes that’s it, this pretty pussy wants more and more..it’s never satisfied.” His low voice ruins you.
You clench uncontrollably and cum again, this time you lose your breath and nearly pass out. You’re so weak, all you can focus on is steadying your body.
He turns you over onto your stomach, grabbing your ass before staring at your dripping and swollen entrance.
He slides his dick in between the slit to tease both himself and you, watching as you flinch from the sensation. “You’re so wet today, maybe I’ll fuck you in public more often.”
His hands grip your waist once more, pulling you back onto his cock.
He pushes into you slowly this time. His arms wrap tightly around your chest as if he is afraid you’ll slip away at any moment. His fingers pinch your nipples as he groans.
“You smell so good..” his face rests on the back of your neck, he kisses it and breathes heavily.
You moan as he moves slowly against your aching walls.
“Are you ready to take it all?”
You nod and whimper. “Yes.” There’s no point in telling him you’re still reeling from your last climax and are too sensitive for the next one. He needs you now and he won’t stop for anything.
“Say it.”
“I..l” you close your eyes tightly.
“Come on sweetheart, look at me.” He places a hand to your chin to turn your head towards his. You look over your shoulder and into the eyes of the dark haired man bringing you to the edge with deliciously long strokes. He’s beautiful, a work of art even.
With your eyes locked you lick your lips. “Make me yours…I need you..”
Jaehyun’s movement stutters. He holds himself back from cumming just from your words and glossy eyes alone. He can’t believe this is real, he can’t believe he isn’t dreaming of making love to you right now and is actually doing it.
He kisses you and groans into your mouth, while your fingers still intertwine with his hair. His grip on your hip tightens and he moves faster.
“I need you too, my love..so badly.. keep me in”
“Yes..yes!” You arch your back again. You can’t believe yourself right now. Thirty minutes ago you wanted to kill this man, and yet, here you are allowing him to fuck your brains out and make you so stupid you can only think about being full enough to bear children for him.
His fingers move to your clit again and you see stars, your body tenses and you can’t stop clenching around him.
You feel his abs flex on your back. “You can handle it right? Please..please tell me you can.” He speaks right over your round lips, and his voice is higher now. You gasp at the sound of his suddenly desperate and breathy pleas.
“God yes! I can! I’m your good girl..” you cry out. He feels so good, you can’t take it. You know you sound pathetic, but it doesn’t matter. The idea of being fucked until you’re leaking for days is so hot to you, it’s nothing but embarrassing.
“Tell me..you love me..tell me…please.” His voice cracks slightly in between his groans.
You look into his glossy eyes, searching them for a light that will tell you how he truly feels. You hesitate to tell him the truth. Not for fear that it will break his heart, but that it will break yours.
You love him, however, it’s never enough to make him stay.
“I love you..”
“Again..” he pants.
“I love..you.”
“Again..”
“I love you, Jaehyun.” You whimper.
“Again, sweetheart..” he moves faster, feeling dizzy with how tightly you hold him.
“Jaehyun..please..I love you..Jaehyun.”
His fingertips dig into your skin. “One more.” He could listen to you chant his name in between “I love you’s” all day and night.
“I love you so much..I need you.” You let out as your body grows weaker.
“Yes, that’s it..I’m here for you, my love..take it.” He releases deep inside you, moving slowly to ensure you have every drop. He holds you fast against him until he’s sure your skin will be sore for a few days.
You moan loudly, convulsing around him before your body collapses.
“Fuck...” he lets out breathlessly when he pulls out. He lays down beside you and hugs you from behind for a few minutes.
“I’m sorry..”
You brace yourself, you can’t believe he’s doing this again. “..for what?”
“For ruining your beautiful set..I’ll get you another one.”
You breathe a sigh of relief and smile.
You both get up and try to get dressed with what’s left.
Jaehyun takes his shirt up and drapes it over you. You tie the remnants of your dress around your hips to turn it into a skirt. You then get into the passenger seat as he gets into the driver seat, and head home.
When you’re halfway there, you notice Jaehyun doesn’t head in the direction of your place. “Wait..where-“
“I’m taking you home.” He drives with one hand on the steering wheel.
“Home?” You smile to yourself, hoping he doesn’t look over to see how excited you are.
Once at his ridiculously large apartment, he runs a bath for you and cleans you thoroughly. You relax in the tub after he places epsom beads into the hot water to soothe your aching body. You close your eyes and feel him gently pour water over your back. It’s quiet. You’re too hoarse to speak, meanwhile Jaehyun is too nervous to say the first word.
Jaehyun thinks about how much he loves you as never in his life has he pleaded for anything and especially not during sex. He doesn’t know how you do it, but you’ve got a hold on him unlike anything else. After several minutes, he speaks up.
He sits on the edge of the tub. “If you can give me another chance, I promise not to mess it up. I need you.”
You look into his eyes. “..you scare me.”
He stops moving. “I’m sorry.”
“You change your mind and act differently every day, and with no regard for other people. You have to let me know what you want.”
He leans down and kisses you deeply. When he pulls away he kisses your forehead. “Does that answer it?”
You smile softly and nod.
He then lays you in his bed and after he showers, you fall asleep as he rubs your back and looks onto your soft face.
The truth is, you scare him too. These feelings are all too new to him. He used to live without care for anyone, even himself. Risking his life daily, for he did not care what would happen to him. But now..now he has someone to care for..someone to live for. You are someone he wants to be better for and the power you hold over him for this reason is scary. He felt this longing and care for you even before you let him touch you. Just being your friend was something he was grateful for, but now that you returned his feelings, he truly felt the magnitude of his desire for you.
The next morning, you’re happy to see you’re still in Jaehyun’s arms.
He’s happy to feel you next to him in reality, he doesn’t have to dream about it for once.
[The Next Night]
Johnny loosens his tie as he watches his neighbor pull into his driveway. He sits in his car before heading into his house, sighing while looking out into the night sky. One day, just one day, he’d like to be able to leave work on time. Overtime is his least favorite thing in the world—just in front of gang leaders of course. They make his job incredibly difficult. As the lead detective in his unit, he always has to pick up where the officers slack off at. To make matters worse, he went to his favorite spot for lunch, but the owner wasn’t there for once. He just hopes she’s okay. Maybe she’s getting some well deserved rest finally, he thinks to himself. Although, he finds it odd that you did promise to let him try out a new recipe for an Italian inspired bread. You were so excited when you spoke to him about it two days ago, and yet, you didn’t show.
“And the final touch is oregano! I’m so excited about it, you have to try it on Thursday for me! I trust your opinion.” You said with a wide smile as you sat with him.
“Cute.” He thought to himself as he watched your eyes crinkle.
Suddenly, something catches Johnny’s eye. His neighbor’s front driver window is broken or rather-crumbling apart as he drives in.
He leaves his car and walks over to him.
“What happened?” Johnny’s brows furrow.
His neighbor jumps, startled by the deep voice just behind (and above) his head.
“Oh! UHhh hmmm..well..I work at a bank you know..sometimes people uhhh think I take money home with me haha!” The banker laughs loudly.
Johnny stands there with a stern expression. He doesn’t find it funny.
The banker then clears his throat. “Yeah umm someone broke into it..”
“Did you see them?”
“..kinda.” He shrugs
“Oh that’s terrible..come by tomorrow to submit an official re-“
“No!” The banker raises his voice suddenly, shocking Johnny into stillness.
“I mean..it’s all good, it’s not necessary. I was out on unofficial business anyway!”
Johnny continues. “Are you sure?”
“Yup! I have insurance too so it’ll be fixed within 24 hours! You have a good night!” He waves and starts to walk away.
Johnny watches and wonders why he’d be so nonchalant about the entire thing.
“Quick question..” he calls out and the banker turns hesitantly.
“What did they look like? I’d like to at least know that in case they continue to rob others in the city.”
“Of course! Although..I can’t describe him well..”
“It was a man?”
“Yes..that much I know.. a relatively tall man..he wore all black..a thick black turtleneck and black mask so I couldn’t see anything..”
“What did he use to break into your car?”
The banker chuckles. “You’re not gonna believe this but..he used his fist.”
Johnny’s eyes grow. What kinda maniac breaks through glass like that?
“Anyway! Goodnight!” The banker runs off into his house.
[Two Days Later]
You head back into work like normal, returning after receiving calls from a numerous amount of people asking where you were. It’s unlike you to be missing from your bakery for so long.
Truth is, you and Jaehyun spent A LOT of time together. Each time you tried to recover from your..sessions..Jaehyun would start all over again. It’s clear to see he missed you dearly. Luckily, you knew he didn’t just miss your body. He missed laughing with you too. You watched movies together and he even cooked for you. You couldn’t be happier to be in an official relationship with him.
“I’ll see you later.” You kiss his cheek and pull away. The two of you were leaning against his car, unconcerned about whoever saw you flirting with each other for 15 minutes.
Johnny watches from inside the bakery, sitting at the counter and sipping his coffee.
He looks at Jaehyun who wears a simple black T-shirt and jeans. The tall man looked good, but not as good as he’d look without all those ridiculous drawings in his body. He chuckles, is that jealousy he feels? He could end all of this by just arresting Jaehyun. You’d be safe, he’d be put behind bars finally.. Johnny knows what Jaehyun does, however he doesn’t have enough evidence to put him away for a long time. Jaehyun kept things clean.
What are you doing with him? With a dangerous man that has tattoos covering his neck and arms?
“..covering his neck..” Johnny looks at the counter as he thinks to himself
a thick black turtleneck…
He remembers the banker's description. Who wears a thick black turtleneck in June? Normally, robbers wore a hoodie or thin sweatshirt
His eyes float back up to Jaehyun.
Jaehyun pulls you back for one final kiss and that’s when Johnny sees it.
A bruised right hand with little cuts along his knuckles.
Johnny’s eyes widen, but he quickly becomes calm when you walk in with a wide smile. “Hi! How are you?” You say with a grin.
You’re glowing, and Johnny feels that jealousy tinge in his chest again.
He takes a moment to respond. You put your bags down in the back then come back out while putting your apron on.
“Johnny? Everything okay?”
“Oh! Yes..yes of course…I see you took some time off.”
You smile brightly. “Yes! I needed a little break. I’m glad Mark was able to keep the place in one piece.” You laugh as you look around the somewhat clean bakery.
“Where did you go?”
“Oh..I was here..I mean, in the city..I just spent some time with my..boyfriend.” You smile even harder and giggle to yourself.
He forces a smile. “That’s nice to hear, y/n. I’m glad you’re back.”
“Thanks, Johnny!” You start to load the display with freshly baked cookies and cupcakes as Johnny gets back to drinking his coffee.
If you knew the kind of person Jaehyun was..why would you decide to date him? Jaehyun had to have been hiding his identity from you, Johnny thinks to himself.
And robbing a banker? That’s a low, petty crime for Jaehyun. Why would he do something like that himself? Surely, he’d have one of his minions do it? There were many questions on Johnny’s mind as he sipped quietly. He knows he has to find the answers quickly so he can free you from the deadly man that is Jaehyun.
↳ after a terrible day at work there is nothing more he wants then to go on a motorcycle ride with you.
𝐠𝐞𝐧𝐫𝐞: soulmates au?, non idol au, established relationship
𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐝 𝐜𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐭: 2.2k
𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬: so much fluff, they’re both so incredibly down bad for each other, wonwoo rides a motorcycle (I don’t know if that’s a warning), teasing, smut warning below the cut
𝐚𝐧: this can be read as a one shot but it’s also connected to king of my heart, but you don’t need to read that to understand this story. Thank you @whimsical-whatever so much for helping me figure out this story.
𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬: creampie, wonwoo has breeding kink even though he doesn’t want to admit it, sex outside (but no one is around) sex against a brick wall, lingerie kink, cum play, oral in the shower (him rec), possibly snowballing
Sometimes after a long day Wonwoo likes to go on motorcycle rides to just release stress. Once he met you he realized being around you took all the weight off his shoulder whenever he was stressed. He still absolutely loved riding his bike. He loves when he gets to ride with you sitting behind holding on to him. There is nothing quite like the feeling of him riding while your arms are wrapped tightly around him.
A shitty day at work led him to going straight to your apartment instead of his own. He knew Mingyu was home from work already and his girlfriend was over.
He’s been with you for almost two years now and he doesn’t even bother knocking; he'd just type in his key code you gave him. He finds you sitting at the kitchen table with your laptop in front of you. Even when you weren’t on the clock you were always looking at work related things at home.
“Baby,” he smiles as you look up.
“Hey Wonwoo,” you smile back.
“Can you go on a ride with me?” He doesn’t want to think about work, he just wants to not think at all and ride his bike with you.
“Yeah, let me change real quick.” You’re dressed in a small pair of lounge shorts that aren’t suitable for riding.
He sets his helmet down on your coffee table and sits down on your big couch near the window. He spends a few minutes browsing through his phone and letting Mingyu know he has the apartment to himself tonight. He doesn’t plan on sleeping in his own bed. He much rather sleeping here with you.
You walk out into the living room dressed in joggers and a jacket. Holding the bike helmet Wonwoo got you. Very early on in your relationship he bought you your own motorcycle helmet. He loved being able to go on rides with you.
He stands up and grabs your hand leading you out of the apartment.
-
Riding down the street your arms are wrapped tightly around his waist as your head rests against his back. You feel at ease just being with him like this.
Something about Wonwoo always makes you feel like you’re whole. That something deep inside of you was missing before him. If soulmates are real you know he’s yours.
Before him you had never ridden on a motorcycle and now it’s one of your favorite ways to travel with him.
The first drop of water you felt left you confused. Glancing, you saw the dark clouds above you. You didn’t bother looking at the weather but it hasn’t rained recently.
Within moments it starts to pour. Your outfit was not fit for the rain.
“What the fuck,” Wonwoo says loud enough for you to hear over his bike.
He sees some buildings that look closer. Quickly he pulls his bike into a covered dark all that’s absolutely empty. He helps you off the bike and unbuckles your helmet. You pull it off handing it to him. You can’t help but feel cold with how wet you got in that unexpected downpour.
“Baby I didn’t think it was supposed to rain.” He reaches up pushing the rain for your cheeks.
“It’s okay.”
“I think we’re stuck here for a while. It looks like all these businesses are closed.”
You can’t help but shake a little. You definitely weren’t dressed for the rain and your joggers you wore are wet and sticking to your skin. “Baby I’m sorry,” he takes your helmet from your hands and sets it on the back of his bike. He wastes no time pulling you close to his body. “Let me warm you up.” He holds you close, rubbing your body. He leans his head down resting his face against your neck. He doesn’t kiss your neck but his lips gently brush the sensitive spot on your neck that always turns you on. A soft gasp passes your lips.
“I didn’t mean to touch there,” he whispers against the sensitive spot. His large hands continue to rub your back as you hold him close. His breath keeps hitting the sensitive side of your neck turning you on. He’s managing to get you wet without trying.
Without thinking you grind your hips forward hoping for some sort of friction.
A soft moan passes your lips. “Does someone like it when I’m close to her neck?” He says with his lips ghosting your sensitive spot.
“Fuck-“
“You know we’re away from anyone who can see. We’re behind a building facing a forrest.” You know exactly what he’s insinuating. And at the moment you don’t care that you could possibly get caught. You just want Wonwoo to fuck you.
“Baby,” you whimper. With his fingers tangled in your hair he walks you back to the brick wall behind you. His hands protect your head and he gently pushes you against the wall.
“Are you going fuck me against this wall?”
He swallows staring at you with lust filled eyes, “fuck I want to.”
“What happened to your breeding kink being your only thing that makes you kinky?” You tease.
“Does it me fucking you against this wall make me kinky?”
“I think so,” you smile.
“Also it’s not a breeding kink.” He says between kisses against your jaw.
“You’re obsessed with cumming inside me.” You give him a smile.
“I’m not trying to get you pregnant though?” His eyes narrow at you.
“We can agree to disagree,” you crash your lips into his once again.
Pulling away from you he makes quick work by pushing off your joggers. He unbuckled belt and pushes down his jeans and boxers just below his ass. His hard cock slaps against his stomach. If you weren’t out in broad daylight you would get down on your knees and suck the life out of him.
“Are you going to leave my underwear on?” You notice that he left you in your pink thong.
“Pull it to the side for me,” he says as he pumps himself a few times.
“Are we going to talk about your lingerie kink?” You have no problem with him fucking you while you’re still wearing your panties. It actually turns you on to for some reason. Maybe you also have a lingerie kink.
“You’re being extra sassy today,” he steps closer, lifting your leg.
“What can I say I get turned on when you get flustered.” You pull your panties to the sides.
He thrust into you causing a gasp to pass your lips.
Pressed up against the wall he has your leg under his arm. This isn’t the easiest angle to work with, but he’s not gonna let it stop him. In the two years you’ve been together you’ve never had sex outdoors like this where someone could see you if they went behind the buildings where the alley was. You’ve definitely had a sex in the back seat of Wonwoo’s car before, but that’s different from this. Something about this turns you on more than you ever thought it could. The angle he’s thrusting into you has his pelvic bone rubbing against your clit.
Your head leans back resting against the brick wall taking in the sensation. Leaning forward you sloppily kiss him. His thrusts are quicker than normal. Ramming up into you over and over. You’re pretty sure he’s nudging your cervix with each thrust. Covering your mouth you try your hardest not scream his name. You might be alone out here, but if people hear you screaming and moaning they might come see what is happening.
“Fuck-“ you whimper.
“You feel tighter than normal,” he moans. Your hand talons into his shoulder holding on to him for dear life. The way he’s thrusting into you hitting the perfect spot has your toes curling. His pelvis continues to rub your clit leaving you gasping.
The sound of the echoing rain is helping to drown out your moans. You can’t keep quiet.
“I’m close,” you whine.
“Please come with,” he moans.
A white hot wave washes over you. Your fingers tangled in his dark hair pulling him closer to you. He paints your walls white and continues to slowly thrust up into you riding out his high. His lips are leaving sloppy kisses against the sensitive skin in your neck.
“I don’t have anything to clean you up with,” he says softly as he’s still snug inside you.
“It’s okay it’s not the first I’m going to be walking around with you cum inside me.” You’ve had sex a handful times in bathrooms at parties the boys have thrown leaving you in this same predicament.
“We can take a hot shower when we get back to your place and I’ll clean you up.”
-
The rain finally let up and after an hour of huddling against Wonwoo and talking it was finally safe to ride back to your apartment.
He kept his word and the moment you were inside he dragged you off to take a hot shower together.
You shower couldn’t even start innocently. The moment the water was warm enough you were on your knees in front of him. He gently held your hair away from your face as your took him in your mouth as much as he would fit. You hand rest on his thigh while the other plays with his balls. You know exactly what to do to make him fall apart quickly.
You look up at him through your lashes. He looks beautiful in his lust filled haze. “Baby pull off if you don’t want me to cum in your mouth,” he moans.
You continue your motion. You were never a fan of giving someone head let alone swallowing before you met him. Now going down on him is one of your favorite things to do. Glancing up and looking for see his stomach muscles tighten letting you know he’s on the brink. His grip on your hair tightens and he moans your name loudly. He fills your mouth with his salty release. You release him from your mouth with a pop. Without a second thought you swallow everything he gave you.
He helps you to your feet and crashes his lips into yours not caring if he taste himself on you. He holds your face with both hands.
“I love you so much,” he says against your lips.
“I love you too.”
“Let me clean you up and wash your hair.”
He keeps his promise from the alley and cleans your body before he’s standing behind you massaging your strawberry shampoo into your hair.
“Wonwoo would you ever think about moving out of your apartment with Mingyu?” You asked him the question that has been on your mind for a while.
“It depends, are you asking me to move in with you?” His fingers are still massaging your scalp.
“I mean I live alone and we could set your computer up in my small office. I don’t mind working in the kitchen when I get to work from home.” This feels odd you aren’t facing each other while you’re having this conversation. You didn’t plan on talking about this in the shower but this has been constantly on your mind.
“Have you been thinking about this a lot?” It’s almost as if he can read your mind. “Baby turn around and rinse your hair.”
Stepping away from him you let the warm water wash the shampoo away from your hair. “Well yeah. Also don’t you feel like at some point Mingyu is going to want to live with his girlfriend?” You work on getting the shampoo out of your hair.
“Probably.” He seems so calm.
“Do you not want to move in now? We could always discuss this later.” You suddenly feel anxious that he’s not ready. Maybe you’re thinking too far ahead. You step out from the water and step closer to him where he’s holding your conditioner.
He gives you a smile pushing some wet hair behind your ear. “Baby, of course I want to move in with you. It would be nice for us to have a place just for us.”
“Okay I would like for us to live together,” you smile.
“Does that mean we always get to sleep naked?” He gives you a goofy smile. Of course that’s one of his first questions.
“Of course. Does that mean I’m going to wake up to you fucking me all the time?” You gave permission to Wonwoo very early on in your relationship that if wanted to start having sex with you while you’re asleep he can. There isn’t anything quite like waking up to him pushing into you from behind while you sleep.
“Obviously, now turn around so I can finish your hair.”
Things with Wonwoo are always easy. For some reason they always have been. He’s your person, it’s almost as if you were made for each other. You’re excited for your next step in your relationship and you can’t wait to see what the future holds.
Currently experimenting with making my art look more interesting with more of my doodle style together with my regular art style 🤔 Idk there’s just things I feel could be added to my art to make it more fun so I’m trying to find what it is 🫡🫡✨
.𖥔 ݁ ˖ husband!mark, assassin au, romance, enemies to lovers
wc. 10k
warnings. violence, suggestive, lots of fighting, they literally spend half the fic tryna kill eachother idk, mention of alcohol, guns, angst, heavily inspired by +82 pressin and mr and mrs smith (2005)
synopsis. after accidentally nearly killing another assassin, you both get assigned the task of taking eachother out. but what happens when the assassin you’re after turns out to be a lot closer to you than you had ever expected? do you ignore your feelings? or do you listen to your heart, risking both of your lives in the process.
notes — hiii!! i rlly enjoyed writing this it was sooo much fun. i sorta got this idea after seeing the mv for +82 pressin and ive been wanting to write something based on mr and mrs smith for a whileee so it sorta worked perfectly in my head. i hope u enjoy!!! (p.s. thank u @sungbites for being my writing motivation hehe love u)
it’s a night like all the rest, darkness falling through the window like a shadow with nowhere to go: lost, helpless. you’ve always liked night-time, enjoyed the tranquility of the silent hours as thoughts pass through your mind with no clear destination. you lie there, a moment of peace stilling within you as you slowly begin to fall into slumber.
your peace is cut short, all tranquility lost when a voice from beside you arises. ‘babe, can you turn off the light please?’
you roll your eyes in a secretive protest before turning to face your husband, a smile now plastered on your face.
‘of course, honey.’
you hate mark. every single moment of every day, you spend each waking hour questioning yourself of why you ever married him. whether in detestation or disgust, you hate him. but your marriage isn't based on love or hate, so you do what you must: you hide it, conceal your hate behind joyful smiles and the blissful art of routine. after all, you’re good at keeping secrets.
abruptly, he rolls back over to face away from you and you do the same.
‘goodnight, babe.’ he murmurs.
‘goodnight.’
you don’t acknowledge each other again, drifting to sleep in nothing but your own mind.
a night like all the rest.
each morning is always the same: wake up at 7, cook breakfast at 7:30, wave off your husband as he leaves for work at 8, always accompanied by a quick kiss as he walks through the door, and each morning you suppress your hatred just as much as the last. this morning was no different.
as you sit at the dining table, your breakfast laid out before you, you both eat in silence. this is how it’s always been, this marriage, days of simple routine and empty discussion. you don’t know anything about him, not really. yes, you know where he grew up, what movies he likes, what his favourite kind of bread is, but you don’t know what goes on in his mind. evidently, you're okay with that, because it means that he doesn’t need to know what goes on in yours. it’s a marriage of mutuality, an understanding that your life is your life, and weirdly neither of you question it. neither of you question if the love is fake, or if it just isn’t there at all.
however, there’s one, tiny detail which you know you’ll never share with him, a side of your life untouched, undisturbed. on the outside, you’re the symbol of a perfect housewife, compliant, clean and kept, staying home during the day whilst he’s out at work, tidying the furniture and cooking up dinner by the time he gets home. that’s all he sees, thats all he knows. but what he doesn’t know, is that you’re none of that, not a single bit.
after finishing your breakfast and placing down your cutlery, you look up at your husband.
‘delicious, sweetheart, just like always.’ he says, reaching for a napkin to wipe the corner of his mouth. he always did sound patronising when he compliments your cooking, but you give him the benefit of the doubt; its the only thing, besides your looks, that he can compliment you for. it's the only talent you show him.
you feign a smile in response, ‘i know just how you like it.’
‘you do.’ he grins back.
you’re not sure how much longer you can keep up this act, pretending like you’re in a happy marriage, and you wonder how much longer he can do the same. but you have to, you’ve done it for the past four years, you can suffer the restriction of a few more.
all for the sake of concealment.
mark gets up from his seat at the table, ‘i had better go, baby, i can't be late; we had this huge data crash at work last night, and there’s lots to fix.’
‘of course, honey. i'll make your favourite for you tonight.’ you lean in to give him a kiss on the cheek as you hand him his jacket, waving him out the door.
its tiring, the act of deception. you watch as his car reverses off of the drive of your house before driving around the corner. you wait a few moments, making sure he really is and truly gone out of your sight. or more importantly, you're out of his.
and once you are, your real day begins.
untying the apron around your waist, you walk steadily and with purpose, climbing the stairs and walking into the room which you call your closet. only it's not only a closet, not really.
pulling back a few items of clothing, you expose the keypay at the back of the room, pressing in the passcode.
0417. the date you got married.
the lock springs open, giving you access to your secret, and highly personal safe.
as always, laid inside are two items of significant importance.
your work phone, and a gun.
you pocket the gun before picking up the phone and selecting the first number in your phone book.
‘agency.’
you hold the phone to your ear, it doesn’t even ring once before the other end picks up; they expect your call, just as they do each morning.
‘i am now alone, will be there in 15.’ you speak, before hanging up and placing the phone in your other back pocket.
the agency is a grand, foreboding building, dark shadows cascading between its outer walls and falling over its glass panels like a shroud. you walk inside, scanning your keycard through the main entrance before making your way to the front desk.
‘yn lee.’ you recite your name. ‘im clocking in.’
the receptionist nods. ‘mrs K wants to see you in her office.’
‘what for?’ you ask.
the receptionist shrugs, implying that whatever your boss wants you for is confidential, and therefore, important.
after a quick journey to the 10th floor via the elevator, you make your way through the white lined corridor, the shiny black marble at your feet causing each step to echo, bouncing off every wall as you step further and further towards the door looming ahead of you.
you knock the door twice before she calls for you to come inside, which you do so quickly, closing it behind you.
she motions for you to sit down, her short, black and perfectly cut hair framing her face and emphasising the gap between her neck and the shoulders of her pristine, grey suit.
you sit, looking at the woman in the desk in front of you as she speaks.
‘it’s an interesting life you lead, agent lee.’ she says, head tilting to the side.
presuming she’s talking about the faux relationship with your husband, you respond quickly. ‘i’d get lonely in that house by myself.’
‘that’s not what i'm implying.’
oh?
she speaks again, standing from her desk as she does so.
‘this job; you’ve been a level 2 agent with us for four years, and despite countless attempts at recruiting you for level 1, you’ve always declined. why is that?’
you take a moment to ponder her question, to truly decipher what she's asking of you.
‘i'm comfortable.’ you reply.
‘nothing about this job is comfortable.’
she’s right. your job is to kill. being a level 1 just means you have to do it alone, estranged from working in groups, harder jobs and more secretive clients. you stay silent as she continues.
‘the reason i wanted you here, mrs lee, is because our agency has discovered an almost identical rival agency in the market. same jobs, same asking price and same level agents. what i mean, in short, is that we now have competition, and that doesn’t happen by coincidence.’
‘you think someone’s leaking intel to a rival agency?’
‘not think, know.’ the red of her lips twist into a scorn of seriousness, as if shes trying to intimidate you.
‘and you think i have something to do with it?’ you ask, disbelief briefly cascading over your thoughts.
she sits back down behind her desk, reaching for a drawer and shuffling through files and files of paper.
‘quite the contrary.’ she replies, and you look at her in confusion before she continues. ‘actually, you're one of the few that i know don't have something to do with it.’
finishing her sentence, she slides an envelope across the desk, nodding for you to take it.
she gets back up from her desk, looking you directly in your eyes, a shift of tone in the air around you.
‘once i've left the room, you’re going to open the envelope, mrs lee. i have two armed gunmen outside the door, under my command, waiting for you to leave. think of it as a little test of what that envelope contains. and, agent lee?’
you don't say a word, looking back at her to continue.
‘this time, i'm not asking.’
her smile is sickening. but you have no time to reproach her before she's out of the room, leaving you with nothing but the cold envelope in your hands and the ever-impending threat of death which falls over you.
after your limited amount of time, frozen in your seat, alone in your bosses office, your mind finally goes back to the envelope in your hand. you open it, pulling out the contents inside. your mind is a state of anger; in your hand lies two pieces of paper, one, a picture of a man in his late 50’s, a cool, silver moustache lining his lip, and one, a letter, addressed directly to you.
agent 1270.
with this letter, i have enclosed a portrait of your first job as a level 1 agent. configurations confirmed him a regular gambler at the artemis casino on 34th street. don’t fuck this up. if you do, i won't hesitate to get rid of you; we have a lot on the line.
K.
p.s. my gunmen are inpatient.
moments after you even get a chance to finish the last word of the letter, two men in black suits burst through the door of the office. you roll under the desk, pocketing both items as gunshots ring out around you.
‘shit.’ you hiss, reaching for the gun in your back pocket. with no time to waste, you emerge from the side of the desk, aiming your gun at the head of the man furthest to you, using your momentum to swing your heel swiftly into the closest man's chest as your first bullet flies through the air. with one man down and the other one winded on the floor, you take your opportunity, walking up to him as he struggles to breathe.
you kick the gun out of his hand.
‘why is she doing this? why make me a level 1 agent?’ you ask, the gun pointed towards the man below you.
he gasps for air, shaking his head. with nothing but raw frustration and pent up hatred at the woman forcing you to do this, you pull the trigger.
anger boils within you, years of working for the agency and never have you stooped so low as to have been forced to kill one of your own. she’s testing you, seeing what you can do, and you’re going to find out why.
you find your way to elevator, pressing the button for the 5th floor. checking your freshly ironed suit for any specks of blood or evidence of your previous fight, you step out of the elevator. you’re instantly met with the level 1 offices, people in suits everywhere, some sat at desks and some engaging with conversation. everyone notices you, but noone says a word. its a very private industry, the industry of assassination, no questions are asked and none are answered.
you walk over to what looks like the main desk of the floor and the woman checks you in, showing you swiftly to your new office. the walls are a pristine white, with a glass desk and an illumination of light that's almost blinding. you set down the documents from K’s letter, examining the mans face. you don't know who he is, you never do, and it’s in your best interest not to care. all that matters is getting the job done, and under current circumstances, it matters more than ever. since, unlike before, it's not only the hidden identity from your husband that's on the line, but as is your life.
you’re not sat at your desk for long, K’s threat looming over you.
you check your watch. 3.14pm, exactly 14 minutes since the artemis casino opened its doors for the evening. tonight, you’ll make sure that someone will never leave them.
after being assigned your own personal assistant, who you've learned to know as agent 4916, you request only three items for your plan to work smoothly and quickly. a dark red satin dress, a vial of poison and it’s respective antidote - not that you expect it to go wrong, but you can never assume the best in a job like yours. even so, you've never once failed a mission, and you were not about to take the risk of failing on the only mission where you don’t give yourself a backup plan; that’s what the knife strapped to your thigh is for.
you thank your assistant with a nod as you step into the taxi you ordered, covering your shoulders with a thick fur coat you acquired secretly from the evidence room.
‘where are y’ headed?’ the taxi man asks, puffing an exhale of cigarette smoke out of the window.
‘artemis casino, please.’
the man grins, ‘you a golddigger, huh?’
you roll your eyes, ‘im married.’ men like this disgust you, always assuming the worst of women. if only he knew.
‘what does he do?’ he asks. it’s at this where your confidence is knocked; you can't exactly say ‘i dont know.’..
so instead you pause, waiting until the car comes to a halt outside the front of the casino before stepping out, replying back with a sly yet dismissive response as you pass him his money through the front window.
‘none of your business.’
the casino is a lot busier than you had hoped, groups of old men and rich couples sauntering amongst the tables. there’s an indistinct mumble of voices, layering perfectly over the chime of jazz music, not enough to drown it out, but just enough to make you listen out for the instruments.
you keep your mind fixated on the picture of the man you're looking for, but as you wander around, a sharp eye scanning all the faces, you spot him, sitting and smiling cruelly in a circle around a poker table. you label this as a perfect opportunity; there’s nothing like the emotion of overconfidence to blind a man's senses.
walking over, you lean a hand on the back of his chair.
‘that’s interesting.’ you say as you peak over his shoulder at his cards.
you catch his attention as he looks up at you.
you continue, ‘i won’t expose you,’ you giggle, feigning emotion comes natural to you now, ‘don’t worry.’ continuing your act, you walk off and head straight over to the bar.
just as you planned, he walks after you.
‘what are you playing at?’ he asks. you ignore him.
the bartender looks at you expectantly, waiting for your order.
‘vodka. neat.’ the bartender nods but the man beside you turns to you in disgust.
you laugh at his reaction before catching the bartender's attention, ‘make that two.’ you say.
the man speaks up. ‘wai-’
‘unless.. this man can't handle his drink?’
he stops talking.
after a moment of silence the bartender brings you your drinks.
you stand up, your drink in hand. you’ve done this many times before and each is as flawless as the last.
you walk around him, slowly, and as if unplanned, you trip, your drink flying straight across his blazer, soaking its expensive lining with the sweet stickiness of the clear liquid.
he stands up, a suppressed rage emerging from within him.
‘oops,’ you say innocently, ‘here, have mine.’
he nods in reply. ‘leave it on the side.’ he says, before storming off to the bathroom to clean himself up.
perfect.
it's then that you set the final action of your plan into place, it's then that you slip the poison into his drink.
not wanting to be with him when the poison takes action, you hurry yourself out of view, climbing to the second balcony floor and placing yourself with perfect vision of the bar you were just at, the drink sitting there, a note you placed reading ‘bottoms up, pussy. i'll be watching’, tucked under the glass in attempts to urge him on.
you watch for a minute, then two, and when it gets to the third, you begin to grow anxious.
but it’s not the extent of time that makes your worry flutter; it's the sudden man sitting at the bar, at the exact seat where the glass is placed.
the wrong man.
you can’t see the stranger's face, only the sharp outline of his back as he slumps over the drink, reading the note you placed under it.
you watch intently as he looks around, his face still under too much shadow to properly decipher his features. the shine of his all black suit glimmers from the point of his shoulders as he reaches for the drink. your stomach drops.
shit.
you stand up in vigour as his lips touch the glass.
you were about to kill the wrong man.
you were about to kill yourself.
clenching your jaw with an abandonment of your mission, you stealthily follow the man from the bar as he clutches his stomach, breathing heavily as he swings himself into a bathroom cubicle. you stand outside the door, listening to his laboured breaths and the sudden bang as his body slumps over the toilet bowl. you can’t see him, but you decide suddenly that you can’t let him die, you can’t fuck up this job and kill the wrong guy, you’d look like a fool.
you slide the antidote under the door of the cubicle with your foot, hearing a breathless, pained whisper of ‘the fuck?’ from the other side, but you don't stick around to exchange pleasantries, not when you nearly killed the man.
you turn to leave, but just as you take a step towards the main door of the bathroom, something on the floor catches your eye, something that the man had dropped in his haste to reach the cubicle.
a business card.
you pick it up, slowly peeling it from the floor.
your face grows stern.
dread envelopes you. your legs grow weak, feeling as it tries to weigh you down.
on one side is a logo you know all too well, the rival agency your boss had warned you about.
on the other side, one word and one number.
agent 1999.
the man you had nearly killed was another assassin.
an assassin from a rival agency.
and he had just fucked up your job.
you’ve been sat at your dinner table in silence for the last ten minutes and mark hasn’t come home yet. part of you is relieved, not having to uphold your character as his wife under all the stress that you're under after failing your mission. however, there’s a part of you that’s waiting for him, the abruption in your daily routine throwing you off, despite how much you hate him.
that’s when you hear the front door click shut, mark coming through to the dining room.
‘honey? what are you doing awake?’ he asks, setting down his briefcase, the tie to match his brown, tartan suit loose around his neck, top button undone. he looks dishevelled, whatever had made him late had ruined him.
you stand up, rubbing your eyes out of exhaustion. ‘you can’t just come home late like this.’
‘im sorry, baby. a lot happened at work, okay?’ he says, walking up to you. he leans forward to catch your eye contact. ‘some idiot sent me the wrong file and the whole network crashed.’
you nod, pushing in the dining table chair as you prepare to leave the room and go to bed.
‘goodnight, yn.’
‘goodnight.’
you can’t help but feel that something is off.
like usual, you wake up at 7, cook breakfast at 7:30 and wave your husband off as he leaves for work. each morning is the same, a list of routined actions you perform, a pretend life you wish you could lead. only this morning, you fear it could be your last.
as you tread down the white hall of the 10th floor of the agency, eventually standing at your bosses door in anticipation, you knock.
she calls you in and you shut the door behind you. there she sits, black bob swaying above her shoulders and thin, red lips pressed into a straight line of discontent. the bullet holes on the desk from yesterday still remain, a reminder of what your boss had promised would happen to you if you had failed to complete the job.
not only had you done that very thing but to make matters even worse, you had also accidentally held an attempt of assassination on a man from the rival agency.
‘good morning, agent lee.’ her voice is stern, deep.
you nod, taking a seat.
‘you know why you're here? yes?’
you nod, not daring to say a word.
‘then i believe you understand the vitality of the situation we are now in because of your mistake.’
again, you nod.
‘words, mrs lee.’ her voice raises, causing you to sit up in your seat.
‘yes.’
she nods, crossing one leg over the other. ‘good. then you shall be pleased to know that i'm giving you a chance to redeem yourself.’
your mind is going a million miles an hour, thoughts racing each other in a swirl of confusion. the perplexion must have been evident on your face as K begins to explain. ‘the agent that intercepted your mission is agent 1999 of the sparta agency. we have reason to believe that he is the source feeding our information to his agency, that’s how he knew you were going to be there.’
it all makes so much sense yet none at all. why would a random stranger pick up an unattended drink at a casino and drink it? unless..
a thought sparks in your mind. ‘you think he drank the vial on purpose?’
a small grin peaks at the corner of K’s upper lip before she continues. ‘he gambled that whoever was on the mission would have had an antidote on them. sparta agency aren’t to be messed with, agent lee, they will use any means to intercept our missions, and with this intel they are our biggest liability.’ she rises from her seat, walking to move over to her wall-panel window, scouring the view that lays beyond it. ‘after this, whoever agent 1999 is will most likely be given the task to kill you; they can’t risk the fact that you might know what he looks like.’
her back is still facing you as you reply. ‘but i don't know what he looks like, i didn’t see his face.’
she turns in your direction, a smirk which you haven’t seen before now plastering her features. ‘and he didn't see yours either. that’s why i'm giving you the task of taking him out, it’s a race of who can find and kill who first, if he’s smart, he’ll always be where you are, it only makes your job easier.’
to take out a criminal is one thing, but to take out a highly skilled assassin is another. you stay silent, conflict in your mind overwhelming you. you love your agency, and you love your job, but you fear that this task is nothing but fated suicide.
K steps back to behind her desk, sitting again to face you as she speaks. ‘if you do this, mrs lee, you would have regained my approval.’ she shuffles through the files on her desk, looking up at you through her brow at her next words. ‘not just anyone can take out two of my men with just a pistol and two bullets. i'm trusting you with this. you have 24 hours to complete the job.’
you check your watch, it’s 10:45 am.
12 hours.
12 hours to take out a high class, heavily skilled assassin.
she really was testing you.
you waste absolutely no time deciding what you’re going to do, rushing to your office and calling for your assistant.
‘give me whereabouts on agent 1999 of the sparta agency, i want all the information you can find.’ you say, and she nods before scurrying out the room.
you’ve never questioned a kill before, knowing nothing but their faces, merciless in all aspects. but there’s something incredibly ironic about this one, something that you’ve never had to deal with before.
he’s just like you.
your assistant returns and you sort through the printed files until you find his personal profile. like the rest of your jobs, you expect to see his face, printed in the top corner, usually a CCTV picture or a mugshot if you're lucky. but much to your surprise, you’re faced with nothing but a grey square, a question mark placed in the middle, almost mocking your lack of knowledge.
you look up at your assistant, a brow raised.
‘there’s no record of what he looks like. not a trace.’ she says.
you nod, a forced sense of acceptance. this man knows what he’s doing.
continuing to search the files, one catches your attention: his previous kills.
671.
‘he uses a revolver..’ you murmur to yourself.
this fact, this small, minor detail, changes everything; revolvers are exceptionally loud guns. meaning almost each and every one of his kills would have been done in private, in basements, elevators.
if you want to lure him in, get him somewhere he will follow, you need to find somewhere private, somewhere you can confront him one on one.
that’s when the perfect idea hits you.
you grab your car keys from your desk drawer, pocketing them in the inner pocket of your blazer. a motel, somewhere far enough from the city but somewhere close enough that he will follow you there.
you’re just hoping that, right now, he’s sat outside your agency waiting for you to leave, waiting to follow you home.
but you’re not going home. not today.
your suspicions are correct when you reach the border of the city, a blacked out mercedes maintaining its speed a few cars behind you. you know it’s him, agent 1999, you don’t need to see his face to be sure.
you pull up to the first motel you see, the lack of cars in the parking lot signalling a perfect place for the job you're about to undertake.
before he can swing into the motel behind you, you step out the car, sprinting to the reception.
you push open the door in eagerness, rushing to the front desk. the receptionist looks up upon hearing the bell on the door ring at your arrival.
‘one night. please.’ you say before sliding a $100 bill across the desk. ‘keep the change.’
the receptionist looks at you in disbelief as she hands you a key with the number 8 engraved on it.
you waste no time, rushing round the corner to the stairwell. it’s just as you make it past the line of sight that you hear the reception bell ring, that agent 1999 has come through the front door.
your curiosity is screaming at you to peek around the corner, to find out who this man is that you’ve been given the task of killing before he kills you. but you refrain, your urge to survive overwhelming you as you begin to climb the stairs, past room 6, past room 7 and past room 8. instead, you go to room 9, placing a gamble that it’s that room that the receptionist will assign him.
you don’t move, don’t waver from your stance outside his door.
not even as you hear the door to the stairwell open, not even as you hear the slow, antagonising echo of his footsteps.
not even as he comes around the corner.
fear.
not the kind that paralyses you, but the kind that makes you regret. that’s what you feel when you see him, that’s what you feel when you look down the barrel of his gun: fear.
but it’s not the gun that scares you.
it’s who's holding it.
the assassin you’ve been hired to kill, the man who's been hunting you down, is none other than the man you had least expected it to be.
your husband..
you lock eyes with him, but you see none of his usual warmth, his usual empathy. all you see is the eyes of the man trying to kill you.
‘mark.’ you breath, raising your gun at him, a mirror of his pose.
slightly, ever so slightly, you see him flinch as you say his name. he’s holding back.
‘babe.’ he says, sarcasm lining his tone. ‘why aren’t you at home?’
a smile of annoyance lines your lips, eyes rolling. ‘could ask the same of you.’
you’re ever so aware of the guns you have pointed at each other. his eyes never leaving yours, he speaks again. ‘i have important business to attend to.’
of course you do, you think to yourself.
its a pity you never liked him, never got to know him. atleast now, you understand why.
‘as do i.’
suddenly, gunshots blast through the air.
amidst the confusion and fear of who shot who, you run to the door labelled ‘8’, turning the key and quickly running inside. but your attempts to shut mark out are quickly abandoned when he swiftly places his foot between the closing door and it’s frame.
you jump back, reaching in your back pocket for the small knife you stashed earlier, hiding around the corner of the room. he kicks the door open, standing in the doorway, gun still in hand. he walks in slowly, treading lightly as he scans the room with his aim.
but just as he gets into the room, you stop him, grabbing his arms from behind him and twisting the gun out of his hand.
he attempts to kick you off his back, mind increasingly aware of the knife you have placed to his throat.
hesitantly, he turns, putting his hands up.
once you’re face to face, you take no time in tackling him. he grunts, the wind knocking right out of him as he hits the floor.
straddling his waist, both of your faces are emotionless, void of any of the pretend love you were used to maintaining.
‘did you know?’ he grunts, breathless, eyes glancing slightly at the blade you have pressed to his throat. ‘did you know it was me?’
you push the knife closer to his skin and he winces.
‘answer me, yn.’ his voice is hoarse, struggling to speak.
you take a deep breath, deciding to tell him the truth.
‘no.’ you say, but curiosity peaks in you again, and this time, you’re taking no chances at missing out. ‘did you?’
his jaw clenches.
with a sudden sense of energy, he kicks you, causing you to fall on top of him, your knife going slack in your hand as he knocks it to the side. he flips you both over in the process so that he’s now above you, taking a hold of both of your wrists.
‘no,’ he says, anger lining his words. ‘well,’ he chuckles, ‘i knew one thing.’
you furrow your brows.
he continues, ‘you’ve always hated me. i’ve always been able to see it in your eyes. you detest the thought of ever marrying me.’
you go to speak, but before you can reply, he cuts you off.
‘i wouldn’t worry, it’s a mutual feeling.’
with that, you reciprocate his anger. all those years of marriage, of putting up with a man you hate in order to give yourself a sense of security, all of it, has come down to this. pushing him off of you, you crawl to his revolver, laid out across the other side of the room.
your hands gain purchase to it, lifting it up to point at him.
your finger rests on the trigger. he’s in perfect shot. there’s no one around, you would complete your mission and regain your boss's trust back. but somehow, something stops you.
as you look into his eyes, the deep brown hue of his pupils looking at you in disgust and anger, you snap.
you just can’t do it.
because whilst his eyes may be looking at you in a new light, it’s those same eyes you have grown accustomed to seeing everyday. nearly every other set of eyes you see, looking back at you, you only get to see once before they’re closed forever, no one being granted the experience of ever viewing them again. but his, you’ve always known that, no matter what, you’d see them at the end of the day, that you’d wake up to them after every nightmare.
you just don’t think that you could let them go.
that you could let him go.
he notices your hesitation, a hint of a smile now making it’s way to his features.
‘you can’t do it, can you?’
you stay silent, finger still hovering over the trigger.
‘over five-hundred kills and now you’re hesitating.’ he taunts.
you stay still, shaking with anger. ‘you’ve done your research.’
‘had to make sure i knew what i was dealing with. although, nothing could have prepared me for this.’ he laughs, as if this whole situation is funny to him.
‘okay then,’ you say, lowering the gun. turning it in your palm, extending the handle out towards him. ‘kill me.’
he looks at you, a stern expression on his face, as he takes the gun from your hand.
but what he’s not expecting is for you to put your palm to his shoulder, making him sit himself down on the bed as you climb to straddle his lap.
he looks up at you, a mix of hatred and annoyance lining his features. slowly, you take his left wrist, guiding his hand to hold the small of your back. his eyes travel to the curve of your waist before looking back up. even slower, you take his right wrist, the one holding the gun, moving it so that the barrel presses firmly against your temple.
you let go of his wrists, the index finger of his left hand drawing circles on your skin, something he used to do years ago, in the age where you used to cuddle up to each other to watch movies. then, you accepted it because you had to make eachother think you loved the other. now, he’s doing it because he knows you don’t.
his face is close enough to yours now that you see the golden specks of his eyes as he looks at you, they swim in the pool of colour, drowning in the light that reflects off of them.
gun still pressed to your temple, mark lets out a deep breath. ‘you really want this?’ he whispers.
barely there, you nod, eyes falling to his lips.
he chuckles, hand at your waist now tracing its way up to the back of your neck.
his eyes flutter as he leans in. it's smooth, gentle but so incredibly angry as he kisses you. in all the years of your marriage, you’ve never kissed mark like this, never shown him enough emotion to be able to connect this deeply with him. your mind soars into a place of nothingness, beyond your world of killing and death, but it’s quickly brought back when you hear a sudden click from the pressure at your temple.
the gun.
you pull away, marks face a look of irritation as his eyes travel between the empty gun and you.
he had tried to distract you.
he had tried to kill you.
you slap the gun out of his hand before climbing off of him, dashing for the half open door.
you hear his footsteps clamber after you, chasing you down the motel hall. sprinting down the stairs, knowing he’s behind you, you keep running and running and running.
but it's not the fear of death that's urging you on, it’s the fear of knowing you didn’t have it in you to kill him.
and he did.
you didn’t go home to cook dinner that night, the image of his eyes on you scarring your memory, the feeling of his lips invading your mind.
instead, you go home with nothing but one intention.
this time you’re not going to let him distract you. this time you’re not going to let him leave.
his eyes were not going to stop you.
driving down your street, an invigorating anger consumes you. a resurgence of betrayal floods your actions as you press down on the gas pedal as though your life depends on it. all because now it’s evident that if you don't kill him, he will kill you.
pulling your car sharply around the corner and onto your driveway, you step out the car, pistol in either hand. you scan the building with your eyes, the warm exterior of your house now a cold shell, a place for death.
someone, tonight, is going to die here, and you will not let it be you.
as you creep around the house towards the back door, silence swarming you, you see a sudden flicker of light from the kitchen.
there he is, usual home comfort clothing, usual messy hair. to him, you’re not a threat; he’s seen it first hand, witnessed your hesitation.
but not anymore, not after he had tried to kill you. you won’t let him take your life away from you anymore than he already has.
you slowly walk towards the back door, twisting the handle to pop it open, but just as you do, the kitchen light switches off. the entire house turns to black.
he knows you’re here.
you walk inside, past your immaculate kitchen, past the stairwell. but it’s when you get to the living room that you hear a shuffle amongst the furniture.
and you’re right next to the light switch.
you reach your hand towards the switch, inches away from turning the light on before a hand clasps around your wrists. you twist, shooting blindly at the figure behind you, an attempt to defend yourself.
‘nice try, honey.’ you hear his voice whisper from beside you.
you turn again, trying to gain an idea of where he is, but before your eyes can focus, a rally of gunshots explode at the wall beside you. unfortunately for mark, he misses, similarly blinded by the darkness surrounding you, but fortunately for you, the fire of his revolver illuminates from the barrel, signaling exactly where he’s positioned from across the room.
moving before you can even think, you run towards him, launching yourself in his direction. you meet the hardness of his shoulder as you knock you both onto the floor, rolling away from each other. you attempt to regain your balance on your feet, but a sound from across the room stops you in your tracks: the chilling swipe of a knife being drawn from the kitchen drawer.
mark has never deviated from his selected weapon before.
he is desperate.
still unable to see each other, you speak out as you eventually stand up.
‘have you ever considered couple’s therapy, sweetie?’ you taunt, hoping a joke would distract him as you crawl across the room to find one of your pistols.
he laughs in reply, ‘with you, or the fake wife i’ve been married to for four years?’
‘i have no idea what you're talking about.’ your voice is sweet, an innocent persona you’ve been willing to upkeep.
his voice sounds closer, raspier. ‘you know, i always wondered why you hated me.’ he says, the sound of his words circling you as you freeze. ‘i thought, maybe you knew what i did for a living, that you despised me for it.’ he stops walking. ‘but now i know that you really do just hate me.’
with that, he lunges in your direction, circulating his arms around you from behind, knife held firmly against the front of your neck. you feel his breath on your cheek, hear his heartbeat.
and it’s racing.
‘you won’t do it.’ you say, fear consuming you.
you feel his lips twitch into a smile from beside you.
‘you’re naive, baby.’
‘then do it.’
there’s a moment of stillness, mark’s breath halting, his heart still pounding.
the pressure at your throat lingers, but it doesn’t increase.
instead, it’s the silence that speaks volumes.
the knife drops to the floor, clattering at your feet, his arms still enveloping you.
he turns your body by your shoulders, and the stillness of the room allows your eyes to focus.
there he is, hair dishevelled as he looks down on you. it’s almost impossible to tell, but amongst the flood of darkness you think you see a hint of a smile in his eyes.
he looks down at the floor, his arms falling to his sides.
‘im sorry, yn.’ he says.
you furrow your brows in confusion.
‘wh-’
but before you could ask what he means, you feel the warm embrace of his arms around you, head falling into his chest as he pulls you towards him, a hand running through your hair.
you stay like that for a moment, basking in each other's comfort, memories of the start of your marriage flooding back to you.
it’s now that you realise the extent of your fear, it's now that you realise what you really feel.
it’s not mark’s eyes that reel you in, not the warm brown or the golden specks that you urge to drift away with, no, it’s just him.
the man you have despised for all these years, for this entire marriage, is the man you don’t.
before you could have it in your heart to figure out why, a high pitched screech blurs around you, a whistle you both know all too well.
‘yn!’ mark pleads, pulling your wrist towards him as he ducks behind the wine cabinet, its bronze structure serving as the perfect shield as he holds your body towards him.
you don’t know why, but you trust his embrace.
as if perfectly timed, the hot surge of the explosion traces your skin as the kitchen falls to ruin, the cabinet protecting you both from the heat of the blast. it’s only a small explosion, erupting only a meter within itself, but your heart pounds at the nature of it.
you look up at mark as you pull away from each other.
‘that wasn’t me-’ you begin, but a shock in mark’s eyes stop you from talking.
you turn, facing the direction of the explosion.
emerging within the rubble of your kitchen wall, is a figure.
the smoke conceals them, hiding the details of their features from you.
but as the second figure emerges from the dust, you recognise their silhouette almost immediately.
agent K. your boss.
‘fuck.’ mark mumbles to himself as he holds an eye contact with the first person so extreme that it has you questioning. meanwhile, you do all you can to avoid K’s glare, feeling her eyes burn into your skull.
both yours and marks.
K and the man you don’t recognise both stand in what’s left of your kitchen, eyes trained on the proximity of you and the man beside you.
you don’t dare to speak first.
‘agent 1270. agent 1999.’ K begins, breaking the silence.
you check your watch, fear and terror consuming you as you read the steady pace of the clock hands.
10:44 pm.
it’s been exactly 11 hours and 59 minutes.
you’re completely and utterly fucked.
K continues, ‘there's a little someone i would like you to meet.’
after her cue, two men in black walk towards you, dragging a half limp man between them, black cloth over his head as they place him on his knees ahead of you.
after receiving a nod from K, one of the two men reach for his hood, lifting it off his head and revealing the terrifyingly familiar face of the man it belongs to.
he smiles, his silver moustache smiling with him.
it’s him, the man you were supposed to poison when you had accidently poisoned mark instead.
mark clenches his jaw beside you, hands digging in his pockets as he glares at the man in front of him.
and suddenly it all pieces together.
your mind draws back to your conversation with your boss.
‘it’s a race of who can find and kill who first.’
that is what she told you when she gave you the task of killing mark, that is why she gave you the job.
because he was set to kill you too.
you were set to take out eachother.
‘this was your plan all along.’ you say, eyes flickering between K and the stranger beside her, completely ignoring the man as he gets dragged away again out of sight. ‘this is what you’d hoped for. you knew, this whole time, what you wanted.’
mark looks at you, and you can see the pieces falling together in his head.
K looks angry, livid even, but it only adds fuel to your flame, so you continue.
‘there was never a rivalry between our agencies, was there?’ you ask, not waiting for the answer; you already know what it will be. ‘there was never any competition.’
K’s anger slowly morphs into a smug look of distaste as she begins to speak, slowly walking towards you.
‘mrs lee, do you really think i would have assigned you such a task? you, an inexperienced solo assassin set to murder a gambler at a casino?’ her eyes search yours. ‘it was all under the plan i had constructed. i instructed you to slip poison into the gentlemans drink, under oath that if you fucked up i would get rid of you, and agent H here,’ she points at marks boss beside her, ‘was to instruct agent 1999 to take a sip of the drink, reasoning it as an interception of rival plans and promising him an antidote he wasn’t going to receive. killing both of you in the process.’ you feel the anger in mark shift beside you. ‘what we didn’t expect, however, was for you to give it to him yourself. so, by all due means, we had to improvise. if we couldn’t take you out, then you would have to take out each other.’
by this point, K is directly in front of you, the scent of her navy suit filling the air around you with an aroma of sweet spice.
but as you look into her eyes, you decide that, really, you’re not scared of her.
you peek at mark beside you, his attention elsewhere, trained on his boss as he remains across the other side of the room, a smug look on his face.
mark speaks up. ‘why? why go through all that trouble to kill us?’ he says, directly aimed at his boss.
agent H comes forward, until eventually, he is side by side with agent K.
your boss smiles, ‘because marriage is a dangerous sport, agent 1999.’
your heart thumps in your chest, your skin crawls.
she knew.
she knew everything.
‘a distraction.’ she sneers, ‘a liability.’
you don’t say anything, you can’t.
‘and though you liked to pretend you hated it, mrs lee, i knew, truly, deep down, there was a vow more important to you than any job you could have been given.’
the silence is deafening, scorching the air around you.
but its not K that finishes the sentence, it's the voice of the man beside you, the voice of the reason behind all of this.
he’s breathless, but the words are laced with nothing but raw honesty as he whispers them, a realisation sparking from within him.
and now he’s finally aware.
‘till death do us part.’
it’s only after those words are uttered that the whole world breaks loose.
shots erupt from wall to wall, glass smashing around you as you follow mark, his hand wrapped firmly around your wrist.
you both burst out the door, his hand letting loose of yours so that you can sprint your way over to mark’s car.
‘get in!’ he yells at you from the driver's seat, but your mind betrays you, a plan of strategy forming in your wits.
‘hang on.’ you yell back at him and with little time to spare, mark rolls his eyes.
he rolls down the window. ‘we don’t really have time for this, yn.’ mark grunts through his teeth, anger enticing him to just drive off without you, to let you die. but he can’t, not like this.
you ignore him, legs close to giving in as you run to the keypad on the gate to your driveway. urging mark to drive through, you press in the numbers, closing the gate before climbing over, jumping into his car on the other side.
‘go, go, go.’ you yell, gunfire belting off the metal of the cars exterior and you shut the door.
skidding the car round the exit of the street, the rubber of the tyres producing a thick layer of smoke behind you, mark calls over to you, ‘what did you d-’
but before he could finish his sentence, your entire house explodes in a massacre of flames.
you grin at him in succession, ‘self destruction code.’
he laughs back at you, ‘you’re crazy.’
‘i know.’
as you begin to gain speed on the highway, mark sliding the car skillfully between the cars around you, you start to notice three other cars doing the same behind you, gaining speed, and the familiar black tint of each window signalling who they belong to.
‘shit, they’re after us.’ you wince, mark looking in the rearview mirror and cursing at the sight. but before he can suggest anything, he peeks over at you, watching as you reach under the seat and find yourself a set of machine guns.
noticing his questioning look, you turn to him, ‘what? that’s where they are in my car, so i could only guess.’ you shrug.
he laughs, in awe at this new version of his wife, ‘i think i can get used to this side of you.’
‘you’d better.’ you reply, before reaching up at the sunroof and pulling it across, making a gap for you to emerge out of. manoeuvring yourself so that you're kneeling on the centre console of the car, you push your upper body out the top of the car, aiming the gun at the cars chasing after you.
beginning to fire your guns, aiming for the cars’ tyres and successfully stalling one of the drivers, you seem to start to lose your balance.
‘mark!’ you call.
‘you okay, baby?’ he yells back, noticing your struggle.
you roll your eyes. ‘you’re driving like a coward’
‘you’re kidding, right?’
you look down at him, peeking your head back through the sunroof. ‘let me drive.’
he sighs in acceptance before you reach your legs over to his side of the car, swapping places with him.
but mark has better ideas.
‘open the trunk.’ he demands, picking up both machine guns from the passenger seat and climbing to the back.
you press the button, the trunk opening up and giving mark a full view of the cars behind him.
you speed up the car, weaving through the traffic in an attempt to divert their bullets.
‘it’s too busy, babe, i can’t aim like this.’ he yells back to you.
‘hang on.’ you call as you speed past cars until you find a junction in the road. you turn the car, slipping across it and nearly flipping the car in the process.
‘holy shit.’ mark yells, clinging onto the handle on the car roof.
you laugh, ‘sorry.’
now with a clear aim of the cars behind you, mark crawls on the backseat, shooting desperately after them.
you begin to grow eager, listening as mark wastes all the bullets you have at your disposal. that’s when an idea begins to form in your head, an impossible yet incredibly daring plan.
amidst all the chaos, you call for him again. ‘mark!’
‘yeah?’ he says, ducking behind the seats to avoid the other cars’ oncoming gunfire, panting in exhaustion.
‘you got any explosives?’
mark’s head tilts, ‘under your seat. why?’
you reach under your seat, grabbing the grenade and passing it back to mark.
‘i need you to open the left door at the back.’ you yell, and he does so, other hand holding on by the seat belt to keep himself upright.
you continue, ‘when i tell you to, throw it out that door.’
‘shit, okay.’ he replies, leaning back against the seat, wincing in pain at the strength to keep himself going.
noticing a straight length of road up ahead, you ready your hand on the car’s parking brake. when you gain enough speed, you quickly turn the steering wheel to the left, forcing the car to a stop in the process. in a whirl of gravity, the car spins on its side as the cars behind you are forced to stop. it's then that you call for mark to throw the explosive.
a bright white light erupts from beside you, a hot breeze brushing past your skin.
the cars go up in flames, both of your bosses inside them.
it's over.
everything is over.
after a few moments of tranquility, mark is already outside the car, pulling you from the driver's seat and bringing you to your feet.
‘you okay?’ he turns to you, eyes searching yours in a second of sincerity that you’ve never seen from him before.
it’s cruel, the way he looks at you, as though nothing has changed, as though you're still that same innocent wife you once were. the thick atmosphere of reality struggles to set in between you as you look back at the damage you’ve made.
both physical and not.
‘they’re gone’ you whisper, ‘it’s all gone.’
he feels everything you feel, he always has, every thought, every emotion, all of it. so he does what he knows he also needs the most, as he pulls you into his chest, resting his chin on the top of your head and wrapping his arms around you in warmth. he knows you're hurting, and for once in his life, he has the power to stop it.
side by side, you walk. not a word is uttered, not a thought exchanged. you don’t need to, you both understand. it’s bittersweet, but yet terribly foreboding, so you don’t say a word.
you had managed to find yourselves in a nearby town, not a care where you had ended up, home no longer a fortified place, destroyed and abandoned. you stand, complete yet broken, at the front of the town's local church, looking up at the grand design of its wooden doors.
it’s as if you both had gravitated here by some external form of fate, woven into your lives, repeated like a mantra, forcing back to you everything you had seemed to have forgotten. that’s how you find yourselves where you are now, feet facing each other as you stand at the altar at the front of the church hall, the echo of the stone walls reflecting your silence.
for once in your life, you look into his eyes knowing that they’re his.
‘till death do us part.’ you whisper, and you know K was right; you do mean it.
he smiles back at you, dimples showing.
‘till death do us part.’
mark looks at you, really looks at you, a softness in his features and a new found sincerity in his heart.
it was at that exact moment that you realised why you had hated marrying mark lee.
it was attachment: something so incredibly forbidden yet increasingly enticing. all you wanted, all you really wanted, was to love in honesty, but it wasn’t mark that you wanted to love.
it was agent 1999.
two weeks later
the room is plastered in an ugly hue of grey, carpet stained and window forcing a breeze to flow through the curtains. mark sits beside you, listening to the question of the woman before you.
‘so, what made you both want to come here for couples therapy?’
mark turns to you, a smirk lining his lips. you smile, trying to conceal your laugh.
‘i guess you could say we kept a few secrets. isn’t that right, mark?’
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what if jaehyun comes home from the military and the filthiest smutty smut smut happens….
Pairing: Jaehyun x You
Genre: romance, smut
Warnings: smut, swearing
Word Count: 1.8k
Summary: During his military vacation, Jaehyun comes home after months of being apart from you - all buff and with a lot of pent-up desire.
A/N: So, we are all simping over military Jaehyun over here, huh?
Cook together
Go for a walk in the park
Play video games
Visit a café
Watch our favorite TV shows
Go sledding
Meet with Jaehyun’s friends and family
…
You had prepared a long bucket list of things you wanted to do with Jaehyun on his first vacation from the military. He only had two weeks, and though it might sound long, in comparison to one and a half years away from you, it was nothing. So you wanted to make the most of it and give him a great time with all his favorite things to do.
“In the taxi now. Home in 10 minutes!”
Jaehyun’s text was followed by a selfie of him in the car.
You excitedly clapped your hands together. The meat was already sizzling in the pan, the rice steaming in the cooker and the desert cooling in the refrigerator. You wanted to welcome your boyfriend back with a freshly home cooked meal.
After that, you would suggest going for a walk, visit a café and then have dinner at his favorite restaurant. His first day home, or better say the whole two weeks, were already perfectly mapped out in your head - and in your planner.
But little did you know that this day would not go as planned. At all.
“I’m back!”
Because when your boyfriend was standing at the opened entrance door ten minutes later, a wide grin on his face and wearing his full standard military uniform, you forgot every single thing on your list. Seeing Jaehyun in his uniform made you forget not only your plans, but your entire sanity.
He had gotten a bit buffer, a bit healthier, and his hair only a bit longer as you caught from them peeking out of his beret. He looked handsome as hell, and there was this thing about his standard uniform that only enhanced all of this.
“Oh, what smells so good in here?” Jaehyun asked after having given you a long hug. “I’m actually so hungry!”
There was one thing on your list that you now remembered you had totally forgotten to put on.
“Yes, me too,” you agreed, grabbed him by his collar and pulled him down to you while his beret went flying all the way to the floor.
____
“Show me what you’ve worked so hard on in the military, Jaehyun,” you purred and let yourself fall back onto the bed. “Show me what I’ve been missing out on for so many months.”
Jaehyun pushed your legs together with his thighs when he gently settled on top of you. His jacket and shirt had long been taken off by your hasty fingers that had struggled with opening the buttons in excitement of what was underneath all that fabric.
Now, his prominent chest muscles were flexing on top of you, and you stretched out your hands to touch them, but Jaehyun was quick in grabbing your wrist and pinning your arm above your head. He did the same to your other arm and locked them in place against the pillow with only one of his hands.
He then grinned at you. “Very well. I’ll show you.”
You didn’t even try to pry yourself from his grip, but anticipated the joy when he bent down. The expected kisses on your lips or neck never happened though. Instead, you felt his hot lips on your chest, soon followed by a warm wetness on the tip of your mound when he let his tongue drape over your nipple. Taking it between his teeth, Jaehyun tugged slightly on the skin, and you yelped in surprise, wriggling in his grip.
“You cannot imagine how much I had to restrict myself during all this time,” he said when he came up again, facing your flushed and hot face.
“Don’t worry,” you snickered. “We have two weeks to make up for all of it.”
“But I fear, even if we do it during all hours of the day, it might not be enough for all the pent up desire I have built.”
Jaehyun let go of you and got up on both of his knees. With his hands on his belt, he freed his pants from the tightness with a clattering sound. His cock sprang free and had long reached its peak height. You licked over your licks, wanting to taste him and take all of him into your mouth.
So you arose and slowly placed your fingers around his girth. He was thick and so hard, already pulsing regularly in your palms, and it only took you a few strokes until Jaehyun begged you to stop,
“Please... Otherwise it will end right here.”
You were also aware that months of yearning didn’t leave much room for long and extensive foreplay. Perhaps, you could wake him in the morning with a little treat, but until then, you were more than willing to finally have him inside you again.
You helped Jaehyun out of his pants before you took off your underwear as well. He placed his naked body on top of yours, pushing you as far up to the bedhead as possible.
“You wanna know what I’ve trained so hard for in the military? What these muscles are for?”
“Mmhmm.”
A corner of your lip tilted up when you felt him nudging in your already wet entrance, and you slowly exhaled when he slipped into you as if it were the easiest thing in the world after having made you so hot already flexing his newly gained muscles. You opened your mouth to say this to him, but out came only a sound you hadn’t heard yourself made in so long when Jaehyun suddenly pushed into you with a long stroke.
You were holding onto his shoulders when he first started out slowly and deliberately, his thrusts thoughtful and just according to your liking, which you let him know by moaning slightly into his ear and digging your nails just a little deeper into his muscles. This was what Jaehyun always did though, paying attention to your needs and preferences first, there was no way this man would let go of you unsatisfied.
“Yes, Jaehyun! Exactly there!”
During the months apart, he hadn’t forgotten what he needed to do, what you liked, and you vocally let him know that.
But when you looked up to Jaehyun, you saw his closed eyes, his gritted teeth and the restraint written all over his sweaty face while he was moving on top of you. This man, who was trying to please you so much, was fighting his own urge to release his pent up desire all at once.
“Jaehyun.” You stretched out your hands and lifted yourself up to kiss him when he halted his movements. “It’s okay.”
“I’m sorry-”
His lips parted again as he was preparing himself to say something more, but you only giggled and kissed him again. “You don’t have to hold yourself back for me.”
“Shit,” he cursed under his breath while having his gaze locked with you. “Do you even know what you’re saying?”
“Will it be like the time you went on vacation for two weeks?”
His expression suddenly turned a bit sinister. “I believe much worse.”
What to make of his words, you got to know bare moments later after Jaehyun had lifted his upper body up and grabbed onto the headboard, his biceps straining in your sight.
You whimpered slightly when his thrust rhythm suddenly changed. They were not longing and deep anymore, but hasty and hard, barely giving you a second to breathe whenever he pulled away before pushing back into you with full force. Again, and again, and again.
“Ah, Jaeh-” Pause to breathe. “-hyun!”
The headboard was constantly banging against the thin wall, and the noise of Jaehyun’s heavy panting mixed with your own begs as you pleaded to him, “Please… more!”
It was usually not your preferred style, but who said you couldn’t try something else every now and then? You lifted up your legs and trapped Jaehyun’s waist between your thighs. He was happy to comply as he kissed your forehead and instead of slowing down, only went faster with his pace, despite your initial doubts whether this was even possible.
But it was, indeed.
You were holding onto Jaehyun like a lifeline, and while you had to admit that you usually liked it slow and sensual, there was something about him taking you apart in such a wild style that nearly made you lose all your sanity again. At one point, when he was penetrating just the right spot with just the right speed, you even found yourself screaming, muffling the sound while biting into his shoulder.
“A sh-” Jaehyun started, but barely finished with, “I’m so-” Before he groaned and then froze on top of you.
It was a majestic sight for you, watching your boyfriend cum. The fine line between holding back and the final release, the battle on his face slowly giving in to the long awaited release. He looked so beautiful and hot at the same time.
You felt Jaehyun emptying himself all inside of you, pumping and pumping for much longer than usual while you were just holding him through it, until he needed to let himself slowly back down on you.
You laid your head on his chest that was still sweaty and irregularly heaving up and down. You let your fingertips trail along his muscles while closing your eyes, and suddenly felt Jaehyun’s arm embracing you from the side.
“I’m sorry I was neglecting you,” he suddenly apologized.
“What do you mean? I was having so much fun!”
“So… it was good?”
“I don’t mind going rougher every now and then.”
“Hmm. But I was too fast and you didn-”
“It didn’t matter at that moment. It was still enjoyable. Besides…” You moved up and turned on your stomach, bracing yourself on your arms against Jaehyun’s chest and placing your head on them so that you could watch him. “We still have two full weeks for you to do the job more than once. I maybe just need to adjust the initial plans a little… Let me just-”
You shifted to arise from your position, but Jaehyun reached out his arm and hindered you from doing so by holding onto the back of your head. Gently, he pulled you to him so that you were facing each other closely.
“You don’t want me to show you another thing I’ve practiced so hard for in the army?” he smirked.
You raised your brows. “Aside from your new strength, what could it be?”
Jaehyun’s smile grew wicked. “Stamina,” he answered before he turned you on your back with one swift motion and pulled the blanket over the two of you.
a/n: I saw a 5 sec video on twt and I needed a longer version so I had to write about it with one of the dreamies. And I didn’t forget about you @thefirst-yet-thelast so here you go :3
18+ mdni
“F-fuck, baby.” Jaemin’s delicate hands grip the plush of your hips as you straddle his lap, guiding you slowly onto his cock, unsteady breaths slipping through his parted lips as the fabric of your pink laced panties rub against him. Becoming increasingly damp at each roll of your hips, each sound that came from your boyfriend and each teasing squeeze he gave your hips.
You grasp the hem of his compression shirt for stability, unintentionally lifting it higher up his abs, cock sitting prettily against his stomach, tip flushed red as it leaks precum.
He's practically drooling at the sight of you on top of him, wearing nothing but those panties he bought for you just a week ago. Tits just begging to be touched as they rise and fall with every heavy breath. Lips glistening with spit from where they'd been trapped between your teeth. And he can't miss your sweet whimpers that sound like music to his ears. God, you're driving him crazy.
“Jaem.” you whine, dropping your head back from the intense pleasure. Hearing you moan his name goes through both ears and shoots straight down to his cock, and now you're barely controlling your own hips. You’re more or less moving by his strength alone, admiring each flex of his biceps as he leads your soaked core onto his length. He's desperate with it. Allowing Jaemin to control you so effortlessly drew you closer to where you needed to be and that familiar feeling grows within you.
Your eyebrows slightly knit together as the pressure on your clothed clit increases, feeling his hips begin to buck up into you, looking at you with half-lidded eyes filled with nothing but desire.
“Keep going, princess,” he groans, as if he's not the one doing 90% the work, using you to get off. But were you one to complain? Of course not. “just like that.”
“Fuck,” you squeal, gripping his shirt harder as you reach closer and closer. “I’m gonna-”
“Cum for me, baby”
Your walls clench around nothing as you finally tip over the edge, slick covering your panties as if they weren’t drenched enough. Endless moans leave your lips, continuing to feel Jaemin’s cock slide beneath you, helping you ride out your orgasm and bring him closer to release.
His eyes screw shut, warm cum shooting out onto his stomach with a deep groan. His movements waver as he becomes more sensitive, not stopping until he's released his whole load.
As Jaemin comes down from his high, the grip on your hips eases, and your breathing starts to slow down, biting your lip at the sight of the mess he made. And just as you lift a leg up to leave the position on his lap, he's quick to grab hold of your thigh, stopping you and making you sit back down. He pulls the strap of your panties away from you before letting it smack against your skin, making you yelp.
☆ summary. Mark was having trouble with composing a song for his upcoming solo album. But then it clicked, he was missing something. You.
☆ warnings. MINORS DO NOT INTERACT oral sex (fem receiving) fingering, recording sex, unprotected sex (don't do this), creampie, mark is sexy asf
☆ rating. 18+ explicit | ☆ wc: 1.5k (not proofread. i wrote this in one sitting oops)
ᯓ Mark was hard at work these past few weeks, in between working on his solo album and promoting for NCT Dream, he almost had no time for you.
But nowadays, majority of the time he was in the studio, you were too. You were becoming clingy, but not unbearingly clingy. You just needed to be in the same presence as Mark, or you'd go insane.
You watched as Mark played with a few keys on his keyboard, adding and deleting stuff on the screen. He was producing one of the songs for his album all on his own, and he was having trouble.
"Babe, you should take a break." You call out, sitting up on the couch that was across the room from the desk that had all of the equipment needed to make music.
Mark sighs, taking his headphones off and pinching the bridge of his nose. "I just can't figure out what's missing..."
You hum, understanding how stressful this was for him. He needed to complete the album before the deadline that was fast approaching. "You will Mark, you always do."
He smiles at that, standing from his chair, stretching before falling onto the couch next to you, his head landing in your lap. You play with his hair as he stares at the ceiling, deep in thought. The sound of his breathing steadied your own.
You watched as a light bulb turned on in his brain, and he sits up with a gasp. "I know!"
"What?" You ask, almost as excited as him.
"Uh, I'll need to get your opinion first," Mark starts and you urge him to continue. He hesitates for a moment before finally stating, "I need your moans in the song."
Your eyes widen, almost choking on your own spit. "Woah, lets unpack that..."
"No way your fans would be chill with that, for one. Same with your company, babe." You explained, and Mark listened intently before smirking as you finished.
"It'll be fine, they'll be super quiet in the song, like barely there. I could get away with it. If my fans notice, then they notice." Mark reasons and you sigh in defeat.
"I'm fine with it if you are sure." You smile, kind of excited to do this.
Mark's hand is now on your thigh, looking at you teasingly. "How about we do it now?"
You hadn't been intimate in a while because of Mark's packed schedule. You bit your lip, fuck, you were pent up from all these weeks without him. "God, please."
Mark's hand leaves your thigh and you watch as he reaches over to the microphone he had set up next to the computer, bringing it a little closer and pressing record. "I'll ask one more time, are you sure you're okay with this?" He asks as he settles back next to you.
You nod, smiling lovingly. "Yeah I am, Mark."
His hands trails up your thighs, leaning in and his lips are finally on yours, determined and needy. You bit his lip in desperation, and he opens his mouth enough where you can slip your tongue.
Your hands were bunched on his t-shirt and his hands were under your skirt, dancing on your skin and setting it aflame. When you pull back for air, Mark keeps eye contact as he pulls your panties to the side, his cold fingers brushing your clit making you whine.
"Mark." You whisper breathlessly, your hands now on the hem of his shirt, and he lets you take it off in one swift motion. "Pretty boy."
He blushes at this as he takes your shirt off too, leaving you in your bra. You decide to push your own skirt down, impatience taking over you. "Please, I need you."
"I know baby, just wait." He murmurs, one hand absentmindedly rubbing your inner thigh as the other pets your hair. Then, finally, his hand leaves your thigh and touches you where you craved Mark most.
It started off as light, slow circles on your clit. "You're so wet, baby." He smirks, as two of his fingers now slide up and down your folds, before he dips them into your entrance. "Mmm, more." You moan.
He pushes them inside to the knuckle and starts curling them right where you liked it most. "Fuck, Mark!"
You were soon filled with disappointment when he pulled his fingers out of you. You watched as Mark slid off the couch and sunk onto his knees, pulling your panties down with him, settling his head in your thighs.
You felt his breath tickle your folds before he dives in, tongue lapping at you like a dog in heat. Your hands fly to Mark's hair in no time, turning you into nothing but a whimpering mess.
His tongue sucked on your clit as his fingers curled into you again, hitting your g-spot at every angle. "Ah, fffuck, Mark.." You slurred, pulling his hair making him groan against you.
Mark could feel your walls clenching his fingers as his mouth does wonders on your clit, and you could feel the tightness in your stomach about to snap. "Mark, I'm gonna..."
"Cum for me, baby girl." He rasps against your heat and one last prod at your g-spot had you seeing stars, moaning loudly as you came undone.
Mark doesn't stop, still devouring you while you shook above him. "Shit, stop, 's too much!" You whimpered.
You had to pull his head back for him to stop, and Mark looks up at you with a dazed grin, his mouth covered in your juices and he looked so beautiful like this.
He licked his fingers clean of your juices, never breaking eye contact, before raising from his spot on the floor. You wasted no time in unbuckling his belt, pulling his boxers down along with his pants as fast as possible.
"I need you inside of me right now." You said desperately, and Mark flipped you over on the couch so that you were facing the wall, back arched, and he was standing behind you.
Mark's hands found purchase on your ass first, giving it a playful smack which made you whimper embarrassingly loud.
Looking back, you watched as Mark's other hand pumped his hardened cock slowly, tip leaking precum, as he finally places it between your folds, rubbing it up and down teasingly.
"Mark, please." You whined, and Mark just chuckled. "So impatient, baby. I'll fuck you real good, promise."
You silently screamed as Mark enters you for the first time in a while, his big cock stretching you painfully as he slowly bottoms out. Soon, the pain fades away. "Can I move?" He whispers, his hand on the small of your back, soothingly rubbing it as he waits.
"Yes." You sigh out as Mark pulls out of you before slamming right back in, making you cry out. He soon finds a good pace that had you gripping the couch and moaning loudly.
"Such a tight pussy, made for me." Mark whispers in your ear, voice raspy, as he leans over you, kissing your neck and leaving marks you were gonna have to cover up before you left the studio. Thank god this place was sound proof and had no cameras.
"Harder," You whined. Mark obliges, and soon your legs were shaking. He thrusts deep inside, you swore you could see the outline of his cock if you looked down. "Oh, fuck, right there!"
Mark was getting close now too, his soft groans turning into desperate moans and whimpers. It was always music to your ears whenever he made those noises. "Cum in me, baby."
"Fuck, you sure?" Mark groans, thrusts getting sloppy as his hand slides down your chest to your clit, applying pressure there. "Please." You moan, and Mark holds his own orgasm off until you cum again.
After a few more moments, the pressure on your clit got too much and your legs were shaking uncontrollably, Mark's hands digging into your hips to ground you as you screamed his name.
"That's it baby, let go for me. You're so beautiful." Mark praises as he finally thrusts into you one last time before releasing inside you.
Your pants filled the room, and Mark pulls out of you before flipping you over. He watches as his cum drips out of your folds and groans at the sight. "Such a good girl."
Mark pulls his clothes back on quickly before grabbing tissues, wetting them with the water bottle on his desk and cleaning you up. He kisses your thighs tenderly while he does.
"I love you, Mark." You murmur as your fingers cascade through his hair. He smiles up at you with those eyes that made you melt. "I love you too."
After you got dressed and calmed down, you and Mark decided to review the audio. Even you found your own moans sexy as you listened.
When Mark added them into the song the next day, you realised he was right. The song did need them, making it so much more seducing like he was trying to go for.
You decided you'd help him out with his music more often after that.
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summary: your search for a family lands you at green gables, where you learn to adapt to the new challenges that come your way.
genre: fluff, angst, smut
warnings: takes place in the late 19th century, mentions of death, mentions of bullying, bigdick!jaemin, creampies, fingering
inspired by anne of green gables, anne of avonlea, anne of green gables (1985), anne of avonlea (1987), anne with an e
For your entire life, you dreamed of having a home to call yours.
Your parents passed when you were only an infant, leaving you to be handed off to the local orphanage who barely had enough funding to keep their heads above water. Most of the adults who came to visit were only looking for boys that could help around the house. It was rare for anyone to come in and request a girl, unless they were a newborn mother who couldn’t handle the constant screaming at night.
Still, despite every year passing with no sign of a couple willing to adopt you, your optimism never wavered. You imagined a great big life with green pastures and parents who wanted to shower you in the utmost adoration.
Until that day comes, you’re forced to face the reality of your current situation.
A mop drops in front of you, cracking at the base and standing on its last leg. Mrs. Baek gruffly orders, “Go clean up the kitchen. One of the boys was nauseous last night and it’s starting to smell rancid in there.”
“Yes, Mrs. Baek,” you reply obediently, taking the mop from the floor and trudging off to the kitchens.
Another downside of not being adopted yet is the constant onslaught of chores. Being one of the only grownups left in the orphanage, tasks were assigned off to you in lieu of the other younger children. Mrs. Baek always reminds you that she only has to pay for your housing for another year before the government allows her to start collecting dues. You try not to think about how you’ll possibly locate the compensation, hoping someone will come to take you into their home before then.
You clean up the sick from the kitchen floor, pinching the bridge of your nose to stop the smell from invading your senses. Mrs. Kim pops in, eyes narrowing at you. The elderly woman has never been very fond of you, blaming your lack of adoption on your incessant need to dream. She thinks if you were a little more grounded in reality, an expecting mother would have hired you into her household by now.
She calls your last name with a huff. “Put that down and come with me. A request has come in for you.”
Your heart beats rapidly in your chest. A request could mean two things — a mother finally caved in and asked for a helping hand or a family has decided to come rescue you from your misfortune. You skip to Mrs. Kim’s office happily, grinning at her when you take a seat across her desk.
“A pair of siblings have called in, asking for a farmhand to help around their estate,” she informs you, unbothered by your excitement at the prospect. “We’ve agreed to send you, as they need an older girl with more labor intensive experience. You’ll depart for the station tomorrow.”
“Oh, Mrs. Kim, thank you, thank you!” You leap up, rushing around her desk to envelope her in a hug. She grunts at you, pushing you away with a sneer.
“Don’t get yourself thinking this means they’ll adopt you. They could very well change their minds after hearing you talk for an hour,” she grumbles. “Now go pack your things and prepare for bed. You have a long trip ahead.”
You decide not to bother her any further, running back to the sleeping area and grabbing your suitcase. The other girls in the orphanage don’t care much for you, loathing your sheer positivity, which contrasted against their evident cynicism. You used to mind it when you were younger, lamenting over not having a close friend as they all deemed you too odd. Now, however, you’ve grown accustomed to fending for yourself.
“And where do you think you’re going, princess?” Ara mocks, watching as you lay your suitcase open on your bed. You grab what little clothes you have and shove them inside. “Off to your make-believe castle?”
The other girls echo her laughter, but you don’t allow their comments to dig under your skin. You focus on the joy of living with a new family, even if they decide not to keep you.
Anywhere is better than here.
“Oh, look girls,” Ara says as she jumps down from her bed. She dangles one of the strings of your tank top on her finger. “Maybe the little miss is off to find herself a boyfriend.”
You glare at her. “Give it back.”
She smirks when she pulls the reaction she wanted out of you. “Why? Need it for your date tonight?”
You lunge at her and she screams, attracting the attention of the caretakers in the next room over. They find you wrestling with Ara on the floor, the both of you resorting to a screaming mess as you yank at each other’s hair. The other girls cheer at the spectacle, forming a barricade around your blurry figures before Mrs. Baek invades the scene. She grabs the back of your shirts and hauls you apart, panting as if she ran across the orphanage just to break up the fight.
“That is it! I’ve had it with the both of you!” She growls, eyes darkening to a frightening shade of black as she looks at you. “I have every nerve not to send you off to your new family tomorrow.”
Your jaw drops at her words and Ara follows suit, albeit for a completely different reason. “She got adopted?” Ara shrieks, flabbergasted by the thought.
You smile proudly while Mrs. Baek replies, “Yes, she did. And if you had only held your tongue for another day, you wouldn’t be cleaning the washrooms tomorrow.”
Ara grows flustered at being disciplined in front of everyone. It’s enough to keep her mouth shut. Mrs. Baek yells that it’s time for lights out, and some of the girls complain due to not having their dinner yet.
“Then you should’ve been fretting over your empty stomachs rather than inciting this ridiculous squabble. For heaven’s sake, most of you will be of the age next year where you have to earn a sufficient wage on your own. I’m horrified by the thought.”
She ensures the room is tucked into bed before closing the door and shutting off the lights. You dig your head into your pillow, the corner of your lips twitching upwards at the thought of boarding a train in the morning. You’ve never been on a train before, and you wonder if it’s as glamorous as they say. Your eyes flit downwards to check on your suitcase stuffed under your bed, which was hastily packed by Mrs. Baek before she barked at you not to cause any more trouble. You feel Ara’s glare from behind you but you ignore it, dreaming of your new life away from here.
—
Your new family is late.
It concerns you quite a bit but you make an attempt not to show it, speaking to the policeman at the train station with much fervor. You rattle on about your first experience on the train and how it was dazzling to see all of the passing views of nature. He nods politely at you, allowing you to talk as freely as you wish.
The clock continues to tick slowly by, but you assure the policeman that your new family will be here to collect you soon.
The last train departs before you see a haggard man walk up the steps, a slight limp in his left leg. Your hope rises that this may be the new man who will whisk you off to his home. However, he stops and asks the policeman you were conversing with earlier, “Excuse me, sir. I’m looking for a young boy.”
“No boy here. There’s a girl sent from the orphanage down south. She’s been waiting since midday.”
“A g-girl?”
You jump off the rickety bench, gripping your suitcase tightly in one hand and strolling up to the questioning man. You put on your best smile for him as Mrs. Kim taught you.
Keep your hands folded together and bow your head kindly. It shows you’re going to be a good girl for them to host.
You offer him your name. “It is such a pleasure to meet you. I have been waiting awfully long and worried you were injured along your journey. But then I got swept up in the cherry trees we passed on the train ride… Oh, have you ever ridden a train before? It was quite a lovely experience, you see, and I’d love to tackle it again if given the chance.”
The man blinks heavily at you while the policeman’s eyebrow quirks up in amusement. The man clears his throat, his wrinkled hands wiping away the sweat building from his brow.
“I’m Ilnam of Green Gables,” he introduces, glancing at the clock hanging nearby. “Let’s get going then. I’ll help you take your bag.”
“I got it!” You reply cheerfully. “I’ve got all my worldly goods from the orphanage here, but it isn’t heavy. They didn’t give me much.” You bid goodbye to the policeman and follow Ilnam to his buggy parked nearby. You continue to ramble even though you know Mrs. Baek would be scolding you by now for not understanding social cues. “Mrs. Kim from the orphanage told me it would be a long drive to Green Gables, isn’t that right? About ten miles. I don’t mind, honestly, as I love rides where I can get to fully invest my thoughts into the surroundings. Oh, I’ve heard Green Gables has beautiful trees around the estate, is that true?”
Ilnam gives a curt nod, gently placing your luggage in the back as he helps you into the buggy. You notice he’s not a man of many words, but you deem it to be fine considering you have plenty of words to share yourself.
You provide him a reprieve from conversing for half of the trek, admiring the blooming fauna around you. When you’re only two miles away from Green Gables, you reach your hand out to brush it against one of the trees covered in white snow, slowly melting due to the seasons changing.
“What do these trees remind you of?” You ask him, eyes sparkling.
He turns to look at you, both of his hands still gripping the reins of the buggy as the horse trots along. “What?”
“The trees, Ilnam,” you say softly. “Don’t they remind you of a winter wedding? A bride dressed head to toe in white, trying not to shiver as she walks down the aisle to her lovely groom? And as soon as her father gives her away, her husband-to-be whispers that she’s just as beautiful as the falling snow?”
He chuckles. “You’ve got one hell of an imagination.”
“Thank you,” you reply proudly, beaming at his acknowledgement. “The other girls at the orphanage didn’t care for it much. I’m glad I can settle in with a new family who appreciates it.”
At your words, Ilnam tenses suddenly, but you fail to notice it as your eyes are drawn to a shimmering lake over the hill.
“Oh, how beautiful!” You exclaim, nearly toppling over the buggy as you lean forward to take a look. Ilnam grabs the back of your dress to block your fall. “What is that lake called?”
“That’s Noh’s pond,” he says, keeping a stray eye locked on you in case your clumsiness pops up again.
“What a dreadful name,” you state with a frown. “Not very creative at all. I think we should call it the Lake of Shining Waters. Yes, that’s it! That’s a better suited name, don’t you think?”
He shrugs. “Better than Mr. Noh’s pond, I suppose.”
“And who is Mr. Noh?”
“He lives just up that hill,” he answers, gesturing to the great big house with his chin. “He’s got a daughter around your age, ready to graduate next year. Her name’s Hyojung.”
“Wow,” you murmur under your breath, sweeping yourself away in fantasies of Hyojung rushing over to Green Gables and declaring you to be friends. “I hope we’ll get to meet one day. It would be decadent if we could eat near the Lake of Shining Waters.”
“There’s Green Gables, up ahead,” he remarks.
You stretch your neck upwards, carefully balancing yourself on the seat of the buggy to not give Ilnam another fright. A grin stretches from ear to ear when you see the white house dressed with a green-gabled rooftop and window shutters. It sits on acres and acres of land, all with well-maintained grass that you assume Ilnam has been taking care of.
He brings the buggy to a halt when you approach the entrance, and a grey-haired woman dashes out, a scowl on her face when she spots you.
“Seo Ilnam,” she says condescendingly. “What took you so long? And where is the boy?”
Your heart falls when you recollect Ilnam’s earlier questioning to the policeman. Had they not been expecting you?
“No boy,” Ilnam replies gruffly, hopping down from the buggy. “I went to the station and there was only her.”
“No boy?” The woman repeats in exasperation. “There must have been a boy. We requested a boy.”
“No boy. Only her.”
You dig your face into your hands, erupting into sobs. “You don’t want me! I should’ve known that Mrs. Kim made a mistake. Of course you don’t want me! You want a boy!”
The woman clicks her tongue, holding the end of her dress as she comes around to you. She helps you step down and chides you. “Now we will have none of that,” she says, taking your hands away from your face. “We’re not going to turn you away for the night. We’ll bring you back to the station in the morning to get this sorted. What’s your name?”
You tell her despite your mouth feeling like it’s been shoved full of rocks. She guides you inside the house, and you would normally marvel at its beauty, but you’re so caught up in wallowing in your pain that you don’t get a chance. Now you’ll have to return to the orphanage and hear Ara’s speech about how you’ve never been destined for a family.
“My name is Ilkyung,” the woman introduces herself, sitting you down on the long dining table. She pours you a cup of milk. “Tell me exactly how the orphanage sent you here.”
You sniffle, staring down at the cup pitifully. “Mrs. Kim specifically mentioned you requested a farmhand to help around the estate. They decided to send me since I’m one of the older girls there.”
“There wasn’t a boy they could send?”
Your bottom lip quivers. “All the older boys have already aged out, ma’am. The oldest one we have now is only seven years of age.” She swears lightly, shaking her head and sitting across from you. You try to vouch for yourself. “I can be a good farmhand, ma’am, for you and Ilnam. I’m a good cook and I can learn how to work in those fields.”
Ilnam enters the house, giving Ilkyung a look that you can’t quite detect. She stares back at him with narrowed eyes, and you realize they’re having a wordless conversation. It brings a smile to your face.
“It’s exquisite to have a kindred spirit you can speak to without really speaking,” you comment. Both siblings turn their attention to you. “I’ve never seen it before, only read about it. I-It’s nice.”
A few moments of silence passes before Ilkyung sighs. “We’ll eat supper and then I’ll show you to your room for the night. I’ll bring you to Mrs. Park to discuss this ordeal in the morning.”
Your dream of having a home to call yours crumbles around you.
—
Mrs. Park is not a very pleasant woman.
She brushes off Ilkyung’s complaint swiftly. “Ilkyung, I told the orphanage what you directed me. Word for word, line for line. It’s not my fault they sent a girl to your quarters.”
Ilkyung has the patience of a saint, which you quickly learned after she handled your pathetic cries the entire night. She places her hands over your shoulders.
“I understand that, Hwayoung. No one is shifting blame here. I simply want to get the issue corrected with the orphanage.”
You shirk at being referred to as an issue. Mrs. Park exhales, taking a break from cleaning the buckets on her front porch. You don’t even want to ask what used to be contained in them, the smell being enough to ward off your curiosity.
“Well, if you don’t want her, I could use another hand around the house. My girl just gave birth to another son,” Mrs. Park says just as a sharp cry rings from inside the house. A girl slightly older than you stumbles out, hair sticking up in different directions and her clothes in disarray. She pleas for Mrs. Park to take care of the baby upstairs. “No need. Mrs. Seo is offering us a girl who will help.”
You look at Ilkyung with wide eyes and she understands your concern.
“Now, Hwayoung, I didn’t say that we wanted to give her away-”
“Ilkyung,” Mrs. Park scoffs. “Your eagerness to waste my morning is truly astonishing. Either leave the girl here or return to Green Gables. I don’t have the time to write to the orphanage again for you or dawdle while you decide whether you and Ilnam want to keep her.”
Ilkyung smiles tightly. “Have a good rest of your morning, Hwayoung.”
You don’t question Ilkyung’s decision as you travel back to Green Gables. You keep your mouth shut for the first time, perpetually worried she’ll turn the cart around and force you to live with Mrs. Park and her numerous grandchildren.
“Tell me about your time at the orphanage. I would like to learn,” Ilkyung requests as you come up to the Lake of Shining Waters.
“I was dropped off at the steps when I was a baby. They say my father was a bank worker and my mother was a gardener. Don’t you think that’s so romantic? She was probably planting roses when he came by from his shift at the bank,” you murmur happily. “Mrs. Baek says they were as poor as church mice as my father made very little wages. I would like to think we would’ve come across a great fortune if the fever hadn’t taken my mother so poorly. I was only three months old when she passed and my father handed me to the orphanage. I don’t blame him in the slightest — what was the man to do when the love of his life disappeared and he had no coins in his name to take care of their child? Frankly, I just wish she lived long enough for me to remember calling her my mother.”
“I’m sorry she didn’t,” Ilkyung says apologetically, but you beam at her.
“Oh, it’s no worry at all! I know she would have loved me. Mrs. Baek at the orphanage was the one who raised me, and I was taken into another house when I was eight to help a mother raise her children. She had so many twins, three sets of them! It was such a beautiful thing but she didn’t have much time to look after them. I told her firmly that she mustn’t keep having children as it was growing too much, but her husband was always drunk and didn’t take kindly to me.”
“They didn’t treat you well?” She asks, disturbed by the idea.
“They meant to, they really did! I could tell they wanted to treat me well but it wasn’t easy for them to divide up their attention, you see. The babies were always crying and taking up most of the day. They were good people, I just know it.”
Ilkyung swallows at your positivity, holding the reins of the buggy tighter. “And did they put you through school?”
You shrug. “It wasn’t a priority for them, which I understand. I learned to read at the orphanage after the family moved away and decided they didn’t want to keep me. It’s been my favorite pastime when I’m not assigned chores.”
“Well, as long as you’re living under our roof, I’m putting you through your proper studies,” she says definitively.
A spark of hope blooms in your chest. “Oh, does that mean you’re keeping me?” You clasp your fingers together, pinching yourself in case this turns out to be another dream.
She stutters over her reply. “I’m surely not allowing you to stay with Mrs. Park to raise her grandchildren. We will run a test trial for now, as long as you display good manners and listen accordingly. And I won’t have that imagination of yours running wild every second of the day, you must promise to be focused and attentive.”
“Yes, yes, thank you, Ilkyung!” You yell as you launch yourself at her, wrapping her in a firm hug. She gasps at the sudden contact but pats your back assuredly. “I won’t let you down, I promise! I’ll bring you and Ilnam the best grades in school, I swear it.”
She peels you away. “Now don’t promise what you can’t guarantee. We’ll start off small — you’ll help me in the kitchen before assisting Ilnam with the lighter tasks around Green Gables.”
Your dream begins to rebuild itself.
—
You slowly adjust to your new life at Green Gables.
Ilkyung teaches you how to sew in the mornings before you help Ilnam with the livestock in the afternoons. Then you assist Ilkyung with preparing supper in the evenings, allowing you to brush up on your cooking repertoire that you picked up on at the orphanage.
Ilkyung never voices her concerns directly, but you know she’s worried about you attending the local school. You’re coming in quite late in the year, and the students have already grown up with each other and are ready to embark on the next chapter of their lives. To assimilate you, she brings you over for tea at the Noh residence, where you have a direct view of the Lake of Shining Waters.
Mr. Noh is a stout man with a curly mustache. He has a wife and two daughters, who all look like they should be on display at a beauty parlor. Mrs. Noh greets you with a smile, kissing both of Ilkyung’s cheeks.
“It is so nice to see you, you and Ilnam never come around for tea,” she murmurs.
Ilkyung rests a hand on your back. “Apologies for our absence, we’ve been busy with running Green Gables. I wanted to introduce you to our new girl.”
“Oh yes,” Mrs. Noh says as she turns to you. Ilkyung fashioned you a new dress just for this occasion, and although the greedy part of you would have liked it to have puffy sleeves, you didn’t put up much of an argument. Mrs. Noh examines you carefully, assessing if you’re the right fit to mingle with her daughter. Ilkyung warned you that the town had certain assumptions when it came to adopting orphans, but you take it in stride. “It is very nice to meet you. Hyojung has been waiting for your arrival.”
Hyojung shyly smiles at you, her hands folded over her stomach properly. Her long black hair reaches her waist, tied up neatly in a giant blue ribbon. Her matching blue dress has the puffy sleeves that you adore, and you try not to sulk at your own frumpy brown dress. Her sister, Chaeyoung, is at least ten years younger as she stares off with a bored look. She’s dressed very similarly to Hyojung, except her ensemble is in pink.
“Why don’t you two take a walk through the gardens?” Hyojung’s mother suggests.
Once you’re outside, Hyojung has a hard time finding the right words to say. You, on the other hand, seem to be saying all the wrong things.
“-I’ve just never had a friend of my own before. It’s odd, I know, but the girls at the orphanage despised me and mocked me endlessly. But I can already tell you’re nothing like them. Do you happen to know what a kindred spirit is?” She shakes her head and you grin. “Ilkyung and Ilnam are kindred spirits. They can sense what each other is thinking without having to say it out loud. Their souls are more attuned to the other, intertwining in this beautiful harmony. I-I’ve never found a kindred spirit of my own, I must confess, but I was hoping it could be you.”
“M-Me?” She stutters, laughing softly. “Oh, I’m not too sure. I’ve never been someone’s kindred spirit before.”
“It’s easy!” You say, taking her hand and leading her to the Lake of Shining Waters. “What do you see when you look out here?”
Hyojung shrugs. “A lake.”
“Not just any lake, the Lake of Shining Waters! See, look at how the sunlight beams across the water and reflects into a million dazzling lights. Doesn’t it make you think of a picnic in the summer, feeling the breeze nip at your face while the birds chirp around you?”
She giggles at you. “That sounds nice.”
“It is nice, Hyojung. And that’s what the lake represents — the happiness you feel when you see the shining waters.”
She purses her lips before looping her arm through yours. “I think we will be great kindred spirits. You should know the hierarchy of the classroom before your first day though. Soeun runs a tight ship and she has a crush on Na Jaemin, so don’t even bother looking in his direction. She can sense it.”
“Who’s Na Jaemin?” You inquire with furrowed eyebrows.
She scoffs. “Who’s Na Jaemin? He’s the most desired guy in our year. Top of the class, good looks, heading off to medical school next year… he’s everything a girl wants. Soeun’s been trying to win his affections since we were children, but it hasn’t really been working out for her.”
“Well, I’ll do my best to stay far from him.”
The Noh family dines you and Ilkyung for the evening before you’re finding your way back to Green Gables. When Ilkyung asks you if you’re getting along with Hyojung, you excitedly relay to her how you’ve finally discovered your kindred spirit. It eases her worries regarding your isolation from the rest of the other students.
You walk arm in arm with Hyojung on your first day, not revealing to her how you stayed up the whole night speculating on the different ways today could go wrong. Ilkyung reminded you over breakfast to hold your tongue and be mindful of when others need to speak their turn.
“I’ll introduce you,” Hyojung whispers to you as you step inside the schoolhouse, hanging up your hats together. “Soeun might make a fuss, but she’ll get used to it.”
The classroom is small, nearly the same size as the dining room of Green Gables. There are sixteen tables total, divided on each side of the room for the girls and the boys. The girls are already huddled into a circle in the middle while the boys throw around a ball in the corner. Each eye turns to you as you enter, and Hyojung squeezes your arm in reassurance.
“Girls, meet our newest member,” Hyojung says as she introduces you to the group. The girls assess you with an inquisitive raising of the eyebrow, and the one with the frilly yellow bow in her hair speaks first.
“We heard you came from the orphanage.”
“Soeun,” Hyojung scolds. “Where have your manners gone?”
“It’s fine,” you say, resting a hand over hers as you watch her scowl at Soeun. “Yes, I was orphaned when I was an infant after my parents passed. But now I live at Green Gables with the Seo’s, and I would much rather focus on the present than the past, don’t you think?”
Soeun narrows her eyes but doesn’t utter another remark about your upbringing. “Anyways, we were just talking about how Mark plans on asking Sookyung if he can walk her home.”
The girls in the circle squeal while one of them blushes beet red. She hits Soeun’s arm playfully and whines in embarrassment.
“And what about you, Soeun? When is Jaemin finally going to ask you out?” Another girl asks.
Soeun waves her off. “We still have time. Don’t you girls worry about me.”
The teacher starts the lesson and you scramble into your seats. Hyojung smiles at you when you occupy the seat next to her, and you offer her a grateful grin in return.
“Today, we will be discussing the history of the late war,” your teacher drawls, his eyes sunken in and bored by the sound of his voice. He begins reciting whatever’s written in the text in his manual while you take notes on your blackboard slate. You hang onto his every word, intending to fulfill your promise to Ilkyung to bring home the best grades in the class.
The local community of mothers was the one who decided whether or not to bring you into the schoolhouse. There were doubts due to you being an orphan and slowing the rest of the students down. Ilkyung attended many meetings to vouch for you, and it relieved some of the members to know you already learned how to read and write. You were set on not only proving them wrong about their initial presumptions, but also showing up at the top of the list compared to your fellow classmates.
When you’re dismissed for lunch, the girls are a giggling mess, curling in on themselves over the stray crumbs dusting the teacher’s mustache. You join in on their fun as you gather around outside, opening your lunch boxes and conversing together. Soeun and Sookyung dance around in a circle, recreating what they believe your teacher gets up to in his after hours.
You chortle as you sit at the end of the line, watching them with gleeful eyes. You’re about to jump up and join them when an apple suddenly rolls in front of you.
“Sorry,” a tender voice apologizes, leaning down to pick up the lonely fruit. Your eyes raise to meet ones that sparkle just like the Lake of Shining Waters. His smile stretches from ear to ear, radiating the most gorgeous features you’ve ever seen in your life. “The boys never watch where they’re throwing-”
“Jaemin,” Soeun murmurs, abruptly ceasing her hopping.
He snaps his head up to look at her as the reality of his name crashes down around you. You scurry away from his figure as if he’s burned you, and he glances back down at you in confusion.
Hyojung senses your cry for help. “Um, girls, perhaps we should head back inside.” She gives them an aggressive nod of her head before they all get her message, following you inside the schoolhouse while leaving Jaemin and Soeun to their own devices.
You fail to recognize Jaemin’s eyes trailing you the entire way, only focused on the fact that you dodged a bullet out there with Soeun. The other girls are whispering to themselves about the possibility of Jaemin and Soeun getting together. When Soeun comes back in with flushed cheeks, she refuses to tell the rest of you what occurred outside. Jaemin floats in shortly after, eyes locked on you. You rapidly dart your gaze away, sitting ramrod straight in your seat.
The day passes by successfully, and you nearly believe you’re in the clear until the last lesson of the day. You’re so excited to recant to Ilkyung about your new friends and your ability to hold in your tongue like you promised. It’s all thwarted when a singular piece of chalk gets thrown at your head.
“Psst,” a voice hisses, and despite only hearing him talk once, you can already guess who it is. The teacher’s back is turned, writing a few arithmetic equations on the board. A couple of the boys chuckle at Jaemin. “Hey, psst.”
Another piece of chalk is flung from across the room. Hyojung gives you a concerned look. You ignore it, drilled in on solving the equation in front of you.
“Hey, princess.”
You’re instantly swept in a flurry of bad memories of Ara taunting you.
“Aw, girls, look at this! The poor princess has her nose in a book again. You can keep reading but no prince is going to jump out and save you.”
“Do you see that, girls? The princess here is dreaming of a big white castle with a family at the end of the rainbow.”
“What’s the matter, princess? Did the big scary monster come to assign you chores?”
Before you can fully register your actions, you find yourself striding to him, bringing your slate down over his head and cracking it in pieces.
“How dare you!”
The entire classroom falls into a deadly silence. The girls are covering their mouths to prevent a gasp from escaping while the boys are snickering to themselves. Your teacher spins around, eyes blazing with fury. He growls out your name.
Before he can reign fire down on you, Jaemin stands up with dust littered in his hair as he says, “It was my fault, sir. I was picking on her.”
“To witness such a temper stem from a pupil of my own astounds me beyond belief. Go stand on the platform in front of the blackboard for the rest of the day.”
“But sir-”
“And I’ve heard enough from you, Na Jaemin. I expect more from our top student.”
You shamefully spend the rest of the day standing in front of the blackboard. You keep your eyes planted on your feet, curling your fingers into your palm until your nails dig into the skin. When class is eventually released, Hyojung rushes over to you, handing you your book bag. You keep your head held high while you walk away, disregarding Jaemin’s attempts to apologize.
“I really am sorry, I didn’t mean to get you in trouble. Let’s not hold grudges.”
You huff and tug on Hyojung’s arm, declining to look in his general direction. Hyojung mumbles your name. “Come on. You can’t be mad at him forever. Jaemin makes fun of all the girls! Soeun’s not even upset with you over it.”
“I shall never forgive Na Jaemin,” you tell her with certainty. “Until the day I die, the iron has entered into my soul where it shall remain forever.”
“Oh, you’re so dramatic.”
—
The school days with Na Jaemin don’t grow any easier.
By the third week, due to you running late from Green Gables, your teacher forced you away from Hyojung and sat you directly next to Jaemin. The boy was kind enough not to pester you, keeping his attention on the lessons at hand. However, every now and then, you often find a tiny heart-shaped candy underneath your arm that only he could leave behind for you. You usually throw them on the ground in front of him and dig your heel into it until it crumbles into powder.
He even manages to hold his top spot in the class with you right below him.
You complain to Ilkyung about it constantly, who does nothing but stare at you fondly. “He is the most aggravating boy I have ever met in my life! Everyone thinks he’s a saint, Ilkyung, but I know better! That Na Jaemin is nothing but a troublemaker out for my blood. He plans to use my sorrow to dangle my failure in front of everyone, I just know it. He’s at home planning my demise as we speak!”
“You’ll do better in your studies if you focus more on your books than the likes of Na Jaemin,” Ilkyung advises with a knowing look in her eye. Ilnam walks in, brushing off the snow starting to come in on his jacket. “Ilnam, tell her how she should be emphasizing her attention in school rather than boys.”
Your jaw drops open. “I do not enjoy your implication! Na Jaemin is not just a boy, he’s… he’s…”
“Mr. Na is a good man,” Ilnam comments, not fully registering Ilkyung’s ask paired with your frustration. “His boy is alright as well from what I’ve heard. Decent head on his shoulders, top of his class, and it would do the town some good to have a well-bred doctor in such close proximity.”
You throw him the most menacing look you can conjure. Ilnam clears his throat.
“B-But of course, he’s nothing compared to you, sweetheart. Smartest girl I’ve ever seen, isn’t that right, Ilkyung?”
Before you can unleash another set of choice words against Na Jaemin, Ilkyung instructs you to help Ilnam sort through the hay in the barn. You pout as you work, imagining all the ways you’re going to study hard enough to beat your enemy.
Ilnam tries again while you’re raking through stacks of hay. “As much as I love you bringing home good grades for us, I hope you’re not losing any sleep for the Na boy.”
You sneer. “He wishes I was.”
Ilnam smiles. “You know, when I was younger, there was a girl my age who didn’t like me very much. She always thought I was too quiet and hiding behind Ilkyung’s coattails. I never understood why she despised me until she got engaged. She told me she wished I was the one who proposed.”
“Oh, Ilnam,” you squeal, clutching your fingers together. “That is so romantic. Did you sweep her off her feet and pick a fresh bouquet of daisies for her? Tell her to leave the other man and run off with you in the sunset?”
He chuckles and shakes his head. “No, I told her it was a good idea to marry him. I had to take care of matters at Green Gables after our parents passed, and I had no time to entertain her fantasies. But the point is that she treated me poorly because she didn’t know another way to convey her feelings.”
You furrow your eyebrows, about to question what he could possibly mean by that statement before Hyojung rushes in the barn. She’s panting, holding her chest as she gasps, “Chaeyoung is sick! S-She keeps coughing and can’t breathe and I don’t know what to do! Father and mother have gone into town and there’s no one to call for the doctor.”
You drop your rake and bolt to Hyojung’s side, holding her shaking form. Ilnam is immediately throwing on his coat before mounting one of the horses in the stables.
“He’s going to fetch a doctor,” you say to Hyojung as Ilnam rides off. “We’ve become such kindred spirits that I can read his thoughts. It sounds like Chaeyoung has the croup. What have you tried to cure her?”
Hyojung hiccups between sobs. “I-I don’t know. Our aunt, Nayoung, is in town and she’s opened all the windows to help with C-Chaeyoung’s breathing.”
“You mustn’t forget I used to care for multiple pairs of baby twins. They got croup all the time. Let me find a bottle of ipecac in the house and we’ll head to Chaeyoung straight away.”
Ilkyung yelps when you burst through the door and rifle through the medicine cabinet. “Chaeyoung’s sick with the croup,” you explain to her while Hyojung continues to cry in the doorway. “I’m going over to help and Ilnam’s gone into town to get the doctor. Hyojung’s parents are out having dinner.”
Ilkyung inhales, dusting her hands over her apron as she turns off the stove. “Well, someone needs to inform her parents. I’ll take the buggy.”
As soon as you locate the clear brown bottle, you grab Hyojung’s hand and throw a scarf around your neck. You race towards her house, your boots crunching against the snow as you sprint. You find Chaeyoung releasing weak coughs as she lays on the Noh’s living room sofa. Hyojung’s aunt, Nayoung, hovers over her with a worried expression.
You swiftly get to work as Hyojung clarifies the situation to Nayoung, divulging about your past with caring for small children.
“Hyojung, go boil some more hot water for Chaeyoung. Miss Nayoung, please add more wood to the fire, she’s grown too cold,” you instruct as you twist the cap of the bottle in your hands. You elevate Chaeyoung’s head and pour a few drops of ipecac down her throat. She groans at the taste but you force her to swallow.
The rest of the night is filled with much uncertainty. Hyojung and Nayoung kept to their tasks, with Hyojung serving her sister and Nayoung filling the fireplace with new logs of wood at every given chance. By the time Ilnam returns with the doctor two hours later, the worst of Chaeyoung’s sickness has passed.
You jump up when they enter, rapidly explaining the story to the doctor. He kneels down to check on Chaeyoung’s temperature as you say, “Her cough was getting worse and worse and I had great fear due to the bottle of ipecac running out. I didn’t want to worry the others but I was not certain of her state when I gave the last dose. Luckily, she started to cough up the phlegm immediately afterwards and has been recovering since then.”
When Mr. and Mrs. Noh return with Ilkyung in tow, the doctor swears that if it wasn’t for you, Chaeyoung would have been in a state he’s not sure he could’ve saved her from. Mrs. Noh envelopes you into her arms with a sharp cry, thanking you over and over again for saving her child.
Exhausted beyond belief, you smile and tell her, “It was nothing. I would do anything to help your family.”
Before Ilkyung and Ilnam escort you back home, Nayoung gives you a firm pat on the shoulder. “You’ve done great work here, girl. Please come visit me in the city any time you wish.”
And when you sit at your desk the next day, Jaemin murmurs to you, “I heard what you did for the Noh family. How did you ever think of using the ipecac first?”
Thinking he’s making a show just to point out your flaws, you raise your chin high in the air as you reply, “I’ve had experience with the croup before. Many children in the orphanage caught it during this time of year.”
He grins. “Well, I think you’re brilliant. I certainly would’ve never thought of it first.”
Your shoulders deflate as you let your walls down slightly. “Really? But you’re going to be a doctor.”
He winks. “I won’t say anything if you don’t.”
You clear your throat and return your attention to your blackboard, ignoring the way your stomach erupts in butterflies.
—
Your first Christmas morning with the Seo’s is perhaps the most delightful holiday you’ve ever had.
Ilkyung and you have been cooking for what feels like a week, preparing to host the Noh’s. The morning, however, is just for you, Ilkyung, and Ilnam.
Although Ilkyung warned you that they may not have the funds for gifts this year, Ilnam hands you a beautifully wrapped box. You blink at him with wide eyes from your spot on the floor in the living room as they sit on the couch.
He smiles and nods sheepishly. “A C-Christmas present for you. I know you’ve never had one before.”
“Oh, Ilnam,” you wheeze, feeling as if your heart is about to beat out of your chest. “You didn’t have to do this. Thank you.”
You unbox the gift, slowly peeling back the wrapping paper before gasping when you see what lays inside. The dress is the same shade of brown Ilkyung uses to sew your current wardrobe, but it has the gorgeous silk lining you see in Hyojung’s dresses with a fanned out skirt and a lacy ruffle neckline. The sleeves are the best part, puffy and pleasing to the eye.
You burst out in tears, alarming Ilnam. “Do you not like it?”
“Like it? I can never thank you enough for this. I’ve never owned something so exquisite in my life. I really do believe I could never be happier than I am right now.”
“It’s a wonderful gift, even if it did cost more than expected,” Ilkyung says, raising an eyebrow at Ilnam. “Dry up your tears, child. The Noh’s will be here soon.”
The Noh’s arrive in the middle of you hugging Ilnam to death, thanking him over and over for his gift. Ilkyung chides you as she pries you off of him, lecturing for you to say your proper greetings. Once the adults are off setting the breakfast table, you squeal to Hyojung about your new dress.
“That is perfect,” she replies with sparkling eyes. “Because Aunt Nayoung was here a week ago and she left you a gift of her own.”
“What? For me?”
Hyojung passes you a ravishing pair of silk-covered heels, pointed at the toes and embroidered with a soft lace. You’ve never seen a singular piece of footwear look so fine.
“Hyojung, my gosh…”
“I know, aren’t they so elegant? She wanted to thank you for all your help with Chaeyoung. She said she felt quite useless until you arrived, and she’s never seen someone so brave,” she giggles. “They’ll couple so nicely with your new dress.”
“I’ve never been given so many cherished items at once. I’ll remember this day forever, I swear it to you.”
The rest of your Christmas afternoon goes off without a hitch. Chaeyoung is teetering with excitement, a contrast from her fragile form weeks ago. Ilnam shows Mr. Noh the horses in the stables while Ilkyung teaches Mrs. Noh her pie recipe. You and Hyojung converse gleefully in your room, discussing your plans after schooling.
“My mother wants to marry me off so I can run my own household,” Hyojung remarks, balancing her chin in her palm as she stares out your bedroom window. “I only hope I marry a man as good as my father. He doesn’t have to be handsome. I just want him to be kind.”
“I would never allow an evil man to wed my kindred spirit,” you declare while you sit criss crossed on your bed. You chew on your lower lip. “Will you really not pursue your studies any further?”
“Not all of our parents are as open-minded as Ilkyung and Ilnam. My mother’s raised me a certain way since I was a baby, I hardly think she’ll relent on her ideals now.”
“I’m not one to sit idly by and let you become engrossed in embroidery,” you huff. “You know what? We’ll start a book club. It’s about time the women in this town got their fair share of education.”
“That’s a splendid idea! Mother barely lets me rifle through our history books and- Is that Na Jaemin?”
Your head snaps up. She looks out the window, squinting slightly. “My word, that really is him.”
You dash down the stairs, and something deep in your chest flutters when you see Jaemin standing in the doorway, handing Ilkyung a fresh plate of cookies. “They’re my mother’s recipe,” he says with a grin. “I’m not as good of a baker as she was, but I didn’t want to come over empty handed for the holidays.”
“These are just lovely, Jaemin. Thank you,” Ilkyung says before gesturing for him to come inside. “It must have been a long walk for you, I’ll make you a cup of hot cocoa.”
You and Hyojung stand at the bottom of the staircase facing the door, wide eyed at the sight of him. He’s wearing a turtleneck green jumper, paired with black slacks and a long heavy coat. You didn’t even know that he knew where you lived, but you suppose in a town as small as this one, it isn’t that difficult to figure out. He discards his boots by the door and unwraps the scarf from his neck, beaming when he sees you.
“Merry Christmas, ladies,” he greets. “Have you been staying warm?”
At your sudden bout of silence, Hyojung pipes up, “Merry Christmas, Jaemin. What brings you all the way to Green Gables?”
“My father and I always bake cookies and hand them out to our neighbors. It’s a Christmas tradition,” he shares.
Hyojung nudges you in the back, ripping you from your daydreams as you state, “But your house is miles from here. Farther than the Lake of Shining Waters and the school.”
“The Lake of Shining Waters?”
You purse your lips. “It’s a nickname.”
He nods as a faint blush colors his cheeks. “W-Well, the walk was good for me. Cleared my mind and everything.”
Hyojung’s eyebrow quirks up. “You’ve never come by my house to give my family cookies.”
“That’s because- That’s, um-”
“Girls,” Ilkyung interrupts, laying a hand on Jaemin’s shoulder and handing him a cup of hot cocoa. “Don’t pester our guest. We’re very grateful for his decision to trek over here.”
You help her prepare the table settings for supper. Mrs. Noh happily displays her roasted chicken in the center while Ilkyung fills the empty space with her side dishes. Ilnam and Mr. Noh sit at the heads of the table and you take your seat next to Hyojung, startled when Jaemin immediately slides into the spot next to you.
“What are you doing?” You hiss lowly at him.
He blinks twice. “Sitting?”
Mrs. Noh claps her hands to gather everyone’s attention, freeing Jaemin from your inevitable wrath. “I want to say a huge thank you to Ilkyung and Ilnam for allowing us into their home this Christmas. And of course, I’m indebted forever to their dear one, who saved our Chaeyoung from her terrible illness,” she says with her hands clasped together, glancing at you with shining eyes. You smile softly at her. “We would have been in such a wretched heap of despair if it wasn’t for your brilliance.”
Jaemin begins to clap and the rest of the table follows in pursuit. You laugh shyly, shaking your head at their gratitude. You look up to see Jaemin smirking proudly at you and you swallow nervously, wondering what you could have possibly done in your previous life to deserve such acclaim from him.
“Please, it was honestly a return of affection for everything Hyojung’s given me since I arrived at Green Gables. I could have never believed I would arrive in this town and make a home. It’s been a dream come true.”
The table smiles at your statement, and you catch Ilnam wiping his tears away out of the corner of your eye. Ilkyung jokes for everyone to start eating before the food is covered in tears.
While you’re dining, Jaemin quietly asks you, “What type of field are you striving for after school? I think you would be a great addition to the local college here.”
You put away your supposed hatred of him for this one exchange. “I don’t think it’s in our budget right now,” you say, recalling Ilkyung’s earlier remark about your dress. “But I did want to pursue teaching, and try to write if I have the time.”
“They’re always giving scholarships away. With your grades and talent, I’d be shocked if they didn’t give it to you on a silver platter.”
You cough awkwardly at his blatant praise. You try to divert the subject away from you. “D-Did your father not want to join us for supper?”
The question has his expression falling slightly. He pokes at the chicken on his plate. “He’s under the weather. Didn’t want to bring the mood down, that’s all.”
Hyojung pokes at your side. “If you’re done flirting with Na Jaemin, can you please pass me the potatoes?”
You glare at her, ignoring her teasing giggle.
After supper, you say your goodbyes and escort the Noh’s to the door. Hyojung kisses your cheek, making you swear to start the book club as soon as the holidays are finished. Jaemin trails behind them, wrapping his scarf back around his neck.
“It really was a tasty dinner, thank you for having me,” he says to Ilkyung and shakes Ilnam’s hand. He swivels around to you. “And I hope you like the cookies. I can make more if you ever need it.”
“O-Okay.”
When Ilkyung shuts the door, she throws you a suggestive look. You scoff and occupy yourself with cleaning the table.
“Come join us in the living room. We have something to share with you.”
When you gather together, they stand you in front of a large book perched on a stand in the corner of the room. It’s flipped open to a page full of names, with Ilkyung and Ilnam’s being the last ones.
“We’ve been speaking with the orphanage these past few weeks,” she says, brushing your hair away from your face. You inhale at the revelation. “And finally got your adoption paperwork settled. This book has been passed down in the Seo generation for centuries. Every new child signs their name when they come of age. We saved a spot for you right here.”
She points at the blank area below Ilkyung’s name. Your eyes well with tears, overwhelmed by the thought of being accepted into their family. Ilnam chuckles, patting your head affectionately.
“Go on, sweetheart. Seal the deal.”
As you shakily pick up the quill pen and inscribe your name, Ilkyung and Ilnam wrap you in a warm hug. It’s then that you officially decide you’ll never have a better Christmas.
—
“You have to be the one. There’s no way I’m getting in that boat!”
“You’re such a coward, Soeun.”
“Then why don’t you try it, Sookyung?”
“You’re all ruining the vision,” you scold, gripping a handful of daisies. “We’re supposed to be girls who have been widowed by our one true love. We’ve succumbed to our tragedy, accepting our fate by floating out into the river, where the Earth will decide how to dispose of our bodies.”
Ever since Soeun’s uncle passed away shortly after the new year and the poem you’re reading for your book club discusses the fate of a widowed bride, you’ve all become obsessed with glamorizing death. In the poem, the girl sealed her devastating fate by climbing into a boat, holding a bouquet of flowers, and drifting away into the night. She was never heard from or seen again.
The girls insisted on recreating the moment, leading you to the lake. Hyojung borrowed a small canoe from her father and Sookyung picked the flowers from her mother’s yard. However, once you got to the final step, all of them chickened out of actually playing the role of the widow.
“I’ll be her,” you proclaim, and they exhale in relief. “But you must say the lines, and with fervor. It’s only right that we recreate the scene exactly. Wait for me at the other side of the river.”
With help from Hyojung, you step into the canoe, laying down as you rest your hands over your chest. You close your eyes when Soeun begins the rehearsed dialogue.
“Sister, farewell forever,” she murmurs, throwing dried flower petals over your form.
“Farewell, sweet sister.”
“And she lay as though she smiled,” Hyojung finishes, giving a small push to the canoe.
You start floating down the river, exactly like the poem describes. You marvel at the solitude, listening to the birds chirping in your ear. It’s all straight out of a novel if you’ve ever read it, but it’s abruptly disrupted by a stream of water soaking your dress.
You shriek, eyes popping wide open as you sit up. Water continues to fill the boat, progressing fast enough where you understand you won’t possibly make it to the other side. As you come up to the nearby bridge, you quickly grasp the foothold, holding onto it tightly as the canoe sinks.
You hear the girls begin to scream loudly when they don’t see you return. You ponder on if they’ll get help and save you from this uncomfortable experience, but another boat slowly comes up beside you.
Na Jaemin says your name with amusement. “I must say, I did not expect to find you here on my Sunday afternoon.”
You roll your eyes. “Are you going to just sit there or help me like a gentleman?”
He laughs before extending his hand. You take it gratefully, stepping into his boat. You sit across from him, drenched from head to toe. You cross your arms over your chest and don’t utter a single word to him.
“So you’re not going to explain-”
“No,” you gruffly reply. “But I am very much obliged to you.”
He sighs. “I don’t want you to feel obliged to me. Can’t we be friends already? You know I was only joking with you on your first day. I didn’t mean to mock you by calling you a princess, even if I think you look exactly like one. Let’s forgive and forget, please.”
You stare at his hopeful countenance, remembering how kind he was to you over the holidays. You also craved his cookies for weeks after, resisting the urge to walk over to his house and ask for another batch.
“Fine. Friends. And friends only.”
He beams at you, grinning widely. He begins to row the boat back to shore, and you avoid his inquisitive gaze. The girls are in hysterics when you arrive, pulling you out and hugging you tightly.
“We thought you had drowned and died,” Hyojung sobs into your shoulder. “It wasn’t romantic at all! Nothing like the poem.”
You assure them with gentle pats, and Jaemin anchors the boat to the dock. Soeun perks up when she sees him.
“Oh Jaemin, were you the one who saved her? A true knight in shining armor, indeed!”
He nods. “I’m happy to help.” The girls move to take you away and leave Jaemin and Soeun on their own, but he clears his throat to stop you. He addresses you by calling your name before questioning, “B-Before you go, I wanted to ask if you had any plans for Valentine’s Day.”
Hyojung and Sookyung’s jaws drop while Soeun acts as if someone just stabbed her in the back.
You stutter. “I- That’s- I’m not-”
“She’s going to my Aunt Nayoung’s annual Valentine’s party. You should come too, Jaemin. It’s at her big mansion in the city,” Hyojung invites.
You shoot her a bewildered look while he replies, “Are you sure? I wouldn’t be imposing?”
“Of course not. She would be happy to have you.”
He smirks. “Perfect. I’ll be there. Now if you ladies don’t mind, I have to get back to fishing.”
When he drifts away in his boat, Soeun stomps away from you, grumbling to herself. Sookyung throws you an apologetic look before following after her. You pinch the bridge of your nose in exasperation.
“What was that?” You bark at your best friend. “How dare he ask me that in front of everyone like- like-”
“Like he likes you?” Hyojung finishes.
You glare at her, still soaked from the lake. “No. And how could you invite him to your aunt’s party? You know I haven’t even asked Ilkyung if I can go yet.”
“She’ll let you, come on,” Hyojung insists as she helps you trudge back to Green Gables. “If not, I’ll have my mother convince her. Plus, how can you not see how head over heels Jaemin is for you? That boy looks at you constantly and Christmas? Don’t even get me started. His house is miles from here, there was no other reason for him to stop by than to see you.”
“I won’t let you go on any longer. I have never harbored any affection for Na Jaemin and I never will. Have you forgotten about my dreams, Hyojung? I don’t want to be the wife and mother. I want to write and teach and earn enough income so that Ilkyung and Ilnam can retire comfortably.”
“Silly girl,” she murmurs as she nudges you playfully. “You can have all of that and Na Jaemin too.”
When you arrive back to Green Gables, Ilkyung gasps in shock as Hyojung escorts you in. “What in heavens have you done to yourself, child?”
You narrow your eyes as she grabs a towel to dry you off. “Hyojung got me into a giant mess.”
“Don’t listen to her, Ilkyung,” Hyojung says. “What she meant to say is that my Aunt Nayoung invited us to her Valentine’s party next weekend. Could we please go together? My parents will be tagging along, and Aunt Nayoung already approved of her staying for the weekend.”
A worried expression falls over Ilkyung’s face as she swaddles you in one of Ilnam’s jackets. “I’m not too sure. Your parents will be there the whole time?”
“Yes,” Hyojung confirms. “I won’t take my eyes off her, I promise.”
Ilkyung exhales. “I suppose you are old enough…”
“I really don’t have to go, Ilkyung, if you think I shouldn’t-”
Hyojung pinches your forearm and you squeal. She smiles at Ilkyung.
“I’ll come pick her up next weekend!”
—
Ilnam starts to cry when you walk down the steps of Green Gables, wearing the ensemble gifted to you on Christmas.
“Oh, please don’t cry,” you say, watching as he blows his nose into his handkerchief.
“He’s a big teddy bear for his daughter,” Ilkyung remarks with an affectionate head shake. She swipes a light pink powder over your cheeks. “Be on your best behavior for Hyojung’s aunt. And I want to hear all about your adventures when you return.”
You ride with the Noh family in their huge buggy to Nayoung’s estate. It’s as lavish as Hyojung described, with massive gardens and towering columns. Hyojung told you on the way that her aunt never married, settling by herself in her big house. She was also very fickle and quick to anger, which is why Hyojung guesses she’s chosen to be alone for the rest of her life.
“There you are,” Nayoung mumbles as she walks down her long hallway to greet you at the door. Her cane taps loudly against the wood flooring. “Kept me waiting long enough.”
“Sorry, sister,” Mr. Noh says, offering her a kiss on the cheek.
She waves him off. “Nothing to do about it now. Suyeon will show you to your rooms. The party begins in an hour.”
You and Hyojung yelp joyously when you’re placed in the same room. You jump on top of the bed in a massive giggling fit.
You look at her mischievously. “What if tonight’s the night you find your dashing suitor? I can picture it now — the clock will strike midnight while you two are dancing in your own little world. Nayoung will tell you the party’s over but he won’t be as willing to part from you. He’ll drop down on one knee right there and demand for your hand in marriage.”
“You’ve been driven to lunacy,” she says, tickling your sides as you erupt in laughter. “Pure lunacy. Nayoung would never invite that many men close to our age. Her friends are more of the decrepit type, standing on their last good leg. I believe the only viable suitor attending this party will be Na Jaemin.”
You scoff, pushing her away. “I still cannot fathom the reason why you invited him.”
“You have to dance with him if he asks.”
“I will do nothing of the sort, Noh Hyojung!” You heave, appalled by her pronouncement. “Just because I agreed to be friends with him does not mean I will follow him down the aisle. He’ll probably get wed to a sensible, well-bred girl with a massive fortune to her name. It seems rightfully in character for him.”
She catches the forlorn look in your eye. “You’re jealous! You’re jealous of a girl who might not even exist.”
“Not true!”
“So true!”
“And what might you ladies be discussing here?”
At the sound of Nayoung’s voice, you both spring up from the bed, smoothing out the fabric of your dresses. She analyzes you with an uptick of her eyebrow.
Hyojung stammers, “O-Oh, nothing of importance, Aunt Nayoung.”
“You better run downstairs. The guests will be arriving soon,” she says. Hyojung scuttles off and you shadow behind her, but Nayoung stops you with the tapping of her cane. “I was delighted to hear your mother allowed you to come today.”
You graciously smile. “I was thankful to be invited, Miss Nayoung, and I must express my appreciation for the gorgeous pair of shoes you sent me for Christmas. I’ve never owned something more divine.”
“You have a brilliant mind in here,” she says, knocking lightly on your temple. “I hope Ilnam isn’t treating you like my son is with his daughters. A girl with your brains should be more than a housewife.”
“I plan on a higher education, ma’am, if the fates will allow. A scholarship would be the only way I could afford to go,” you reveal. “Ilkyung and Ilnam pour every ounce of themselves into maintaining Green Gables and selling off necessities to the market in town. They didn’t exactly plan to adopt an orphan girl and pay for her schooling.”
“Easy solution then. I’ll pay for your schooling.”
“W-What?”
Her expression shifts into something more stern. “I have a large fortune and no nieces to spend it on. Hyojung and Chaeyoung will be betrothed to good families and I want to make sure you are taken care of. I’ve never seen someone so young step up to such a big challenge like you did that night. It should be rewarded.”
“Oh, Miss Nayoung, I really can’t-”
“Protest all you want, dear. It won’t change my mind. Now get downstairs and dance with that boy you’re so keen about.”
The party is already in full swing downstairs. Most of the guests have arrived, chatting avidly to one another over their glasses of champagne. You spot Hyojung in the corner, attempting to keep Chaeyoung under control. Then, as soon as you reach the end of the staircase, Jaemin walks in.
He’s wearing a black suit and tie, handing off his coat to the worker nearby. You inhale, slowly making your way across the room. The bottom of your dress drags over the floor and you scan your puffy sleeves out of the corner of your eye, verifying that they are indeed still there.
When you land in front of him, his jaw drops open. “W-Wow. You look beautiful.”
“Thank you,” you reply curtly, trying not to show how much his statement affects you. “You don’t look half as bad yourself.”
He glances down at his ensemble before chuckling. “Thanks. W-Will you save me a dance later?”
You swallow. “Sure. That’s what friends do, right?”
He smiles. “Yeah. That’s what friends do.”
When you try to catch your breath at the refreshment table, Hyojung eyes you in a superior manner. “I thought you said you wouldn’t accept a dance with Na Jaemin if he asked?”
“I recommend keeping your smug comments to yourself, Noh Hyojung.”
A few of Nayoung’s friends request a dance with you, only being able to sway slightly back and forth due to their arthritis. The older women inquire about your studies, and some of them question you regarding your previous life at the orphanage. You even observe Hyojung speaking to a young gentleman out of the corner of your eye. A blush spreads across her cheeks the longer they converse, and the red hue only deepens when he takes her out on the dance floor.
“Ready for our dance?”
You nearly spit out the contents of your punch when Jaemin appears in front of you. He’s holding a singular rose, half-shy as he extends it to you. You’re about to accept it when he breaks off the stem, tucking the flower behind your ear and admiring you. Your face grows warm underneath his touch.
You take his hand and rest your palm on his shoulder, ignoring the way your heart pounds in your chest when he wraps an arm around your waist. The string of the violin fills your ears as you twirl around the ballroom with him.
“I wanted to thank you for saving me down by the lake,” you say to him, lost in his unrelenting stare. “I wasn’t as appreciative as I should have been that day, and I acknowledge that. I probably would have been left hanging on that bridge until one of the girls had the sense to call someone for help. Then I really would’ve gotten in trouble with Ilkyung.”
He laughs, giddy as he spins you around. “It was my pleasure, really. There haven’t been many days since your arrival that you’ve asked me for help. I cherish those moments more than anything.”
“Why are you so nice to me? I’ve given you nothing but grief since I arrived at Green Gables, yet your enthusiasm has never wavered.”
“I like you, is that so hard to believe?”
His eyes pierce through yours and you start to feel that pull you’ve read in your romance novels. A string of fate ties your heart to his, urging you closer to the man you once vowed to hate. The looming thought of grades and graduation slip from your mind as the jabbering of the crowd fades away. His gaze flickers down to your mouth, and you find yourself leaning in-
A body abruptly slams into yours and you gasp, clinging onto the lapels of Jaemin’s suit to ground yourself. An elderly man apologizes to you for his clumsiness, but the moment between you and Jaemin has already passed. You scurry away from him, trying to calm the adrenaline spiking through your veins.
“I-I should go check on Hyojung,” you murmur, wiping the sweat from your brow.
“Yes, o-of course,” he stutters, quite pink in the cheeks himself. “Happy Valentine’s Day.”
“Happy Valentine’s Day, Na Jaemin.”
—
“I can’t look! Please, just seal my monstrous fate and allow the Earth to swallow me whole. It’s my destiny, and I should very well accept it at this point.”
“I’ve never met another soul as dramatic as you,” Hyojung says with a roll of her eyes. She holds your letter between her fingers, and you shut your eyes in fear of its contents. “We all know you’re a shoe in for the girls’ college. I don’t know why you insist on giving yourself such a fright.”
“Just open it, Hyojung. Tell me if my fortune ties me to a state of devastation.”
She breaks open the seal, fanning out the paper in front of her. She scrutinizes the first few lines before jumping up and down, her shrieks echoing throughout the schoolyard.
“You did it! You got in!”
The rest of the girls circle around you, laughing and squealing at your victory. Tears fill your eyes, running down your cheeks in happiness. You had been waiting for the results for weeks after your entrance exam. You walked in with confidence after learning you secured first place in class, skimming by Jaemin with half a point higher.
“Congratulations,” Soeun says. She forgave you concerning the Jaemin incident once Lee Donghyuck began showing an interest in her. Since then, you’ve speculated that she’s even forgotten Jaemin’s name. “I think you’ll be one of the first girls to attend college from our town in years!”
Mark approaches your group with his hands stuffed in his pockets, and Sookyung straightens her posture at the sight of him. “Hey guys,” he says with a timid smile. “Happy last day of classes.”
“Oh Mark, do tell us where Na Jaemin has gone. We must share the news of his so-called rival,” Hyojung teases, and you elbow her playfully.
“You didn’t hear?”
Your merry expressions falter at his somber tone. Sookyung speaks up, voicing the question you’re all dreading to ask.
“Hear what?”
“Jaemin’s father passed away last night. He was sick for a long time, but was trying to hold on until graduation.”
Your stomach drops at the news. Hyojung immediately glances at you in concern. Soeun and Sookyung gasp, and you realize no one actually knew how ill Jaemin’s father was.
You excuse yourself from the group, dashing to Jaemin’s house as fast as you can. He lives the furthest out of all your classmates, but you’re determined to reach his place before sundown. A nagging voice in the back of your head scolds you for not checking in on him. Another part of you grapples with the idea that he’s been harboring this grief with himself for years.
When you knock on his front door, you panic slightly. What if you were completely crossing a line and he didn’t want to see you? What if he was in the middle of his mourning period and you were disrupting his reflection time?
As soon as he opens the door, you blurt out, “I’m sorry.”
He’s startled when he sees you, but a kind smile spreads across his face. “So you heard,” he remarks, his eyes baggy and red.
“Yeah,” you whisper. “I’m so sorry, Jaemin. I had no idea he was that sick.”
He gestures for you to step inside. His home smells like him, as odd as that sounds coming from you. The scent of pine needles and embers from the fire waft through your nose. His dining room is small, having nothing but a long table and a kitchen with dirty dishes stacked high in the sink. Stacked boxes fill the hallway leading to what you assume used to be his father’s bedroom.
He rifles through the fridge while you take a seat at the table. “Apologies about the mess. I’ve been trying to sort through dad’s stuff over the past year but it hasn’t been easy.”
“It’s fine, you don’t need to apologize to me,” you say as he pours you a cup of orange juice.
“So did you get your results yet? Come on, don’t leave me hanging,” he chuckles.
“Oh, it’s not that important-”
“Not that important?” He scoffs, sliding into the seat across from you. “You’ve been working for this all year. Of course it’s important. And you finally accomplished your goal of getting to first place.”
All of those end objectives seem insignificant now compared to the problems Jaemin’s been dealing with. But he stares at you like he wants nothing more than to hear about your results, forcing you to reveal, “I got in.”
He slams his hand down on the wood table cheerfully, rejoicing loudly. “That’s wonderful! I knew you would get in, I never doubted it for a second.”
“Jaemin, I really am awfully remorseful over what happened to your father. To think that we are celebrating my achievements while you have been going through this all alone-”
He speaks your name firmly. “I have known for years that my father would one day pass. It is a tragedy, yes, but I know how hard you’ve been striving for this and I’m not going to let it overshadow your moment. Please, for today, can we focus on you? I can mourn my father all I want at his funeral tomorrow.”
You hesitantly agree to his terms and somehow find yourself roped into an ordeal of teaching him how to bake Ilkyung’s famous peach pie. You snigger when he continuously pours too much flour into the bowl and cuts his hand trying to slice the peaches.
“They say you’re brilliant in the classroom but I guess no one’s seen you outside of your studies,” you joke, pulling stray flecks of flour out of his hair.
He narrows his eyes at you before throwing a handful of flour at your face, causing you to squeal at his attack. You look at him with your jaw dropped open while he snickers at your predicament. You reach into his bowl of peaches, smushing them in your palm and launching the mess into his shirt.
You giggle. “Oops.”
He gapes at you before his kitchen becomes the site of a chaotic food fight. Eggs and butter splatter against the walls and flour coats the kitchen floor. You know Ilkyung’s going to give you a hard time when you return home about the stains in your dress, but you’re feeling so euphoric that you can’t be bothered to care.
You find a way to combine your leftover ingredients into a pie, and Jaemin takes it out of the brick oven when it’s nicely browned at the top. He hands you a fork to taste, and when you both dig your utensils in and scoop it into your mouth, your faces twist in horror.
“That’s awful!”
“What in God’s name did we put in there?”
You take one look at each other, with you seeing his hair covered in flour and specks of eggshells painted on his shirt. He finds you with dripping egg yolk in your hair and dried peaches clinging to the skirt of your dress. You burst out in laughter, clinging to your stomachs as you double over.
“Y-You look l-like we put you i-in the oven!” You pant, cheeks hurting from your hysterics.
“Me? You look like you rolled into a bakery on the wrong side of town!”
When your giggling fit dies down, he flings you a pensive expression. “Promise me we’ll hang out this summer before we leave. I-I don’t want to lose touch with you as soon as we go to college.”
You grin. “I don’t want that either. I promise to hang out with you all summer.”
His vision drifts down to your lips, and you’re thrown back to Valentine’s Day, when you almost kissed him. There’s nothing stopping you now, and the silence of the house surrounds you.
“Jaemin,” you murmur, and his hand snakes around your middle, pulling you to his body as his mouth envelops yours.
Kissing is much more sensual than you originally thought. The books you read describe it as a slow, languid action with enough time to breathe. You discover that’s not true at all as Jaemin backs you up against the table, lifting your hips onto the wood. He rests his palms on both sides of your legs as his tongue swipes over yours. You moan into his mouth, tangling your fingers through his hair as you let him devour you.
Your conscience screams at you that this is not a good idea, but the longer you feel Jaemin’s hands on you, the longer your common sense is muted.
His fingers hike up your dress, exposing your bare legs for him to view. He kisses down your jawline until his teeth graze your neck.
His hands grip the inside of your thighs as you release a breathy, “We shouldn’t.”
He shushes you gently. “Don’t think about anything else. No grades or college or parents. Just you and me.”
You empty your mind per his request, closing your eyes as you savor his hands freely roaming your body. He tugs down your undergarments before unbuckling his own set of trousers. A part of you is terrified by the act of sex, only having seen explicit diagrams in medical journals. But you also trust Jaemin and you understand the boy would never hurt you willingly.
You chew on your lower lip when he unsheathes himself. You’ve never encountered the opposite sex’s naked lower half before, but his cock stands proudly, longer than several inches and thicker than you imagined. His tip is red and leaking, desperately asking for attention. He wraps a hand around his base and lines himself up to your entrance.
“It’s going to hurt,” he warns, analyzing you carefully. “I’ve read it doesn’t always feel good for women, and I apologize about that.”
You smile shyly. “It’s okay. I trust you.”
Fire blazes underneath your skin as he pushes into you. The pain is excruciating but you clench your jaw and power through it, not wanting to ruin this moment with him. He distracts you with kisses, lips intertwining as he slides into you inch by inch.
When he bottoms out inside you, you swear you’ve never felt more full. It’s powerful — the way he towers over you in this moment yet subtly ensures you that you’re in complete control of the situation. His eyes search yours in assurance, finding nothing but a reflection of lust and hunger.
You hold him close as he thrusts into you, whimpers spilling from your mouth at the sharp spike of pain. “What can I do to make it better?” He questions, groaning lowly. “I wish you could feel how I do right now.”
“I-I don’t know.”
He tries different angles, scattering love bites across your neck, but it isn’t until his hands wander down to your core and circle around an area that has you gasping.
“Here?” He asks, pressing his thumb down harder over your clit. You squeak and nod, the pain shifting into blinding satisfaction.
It's the combined chaos of Jaemin rutting against you while you grind down on his hand, chasing your highs together. The unfamiliar sensation has your head spinning, and the pent up frustration in your stomach begins to unravel.
You whine his name. “I feel- I feel-”
“It’s okay,” he soothes, sensing your panic. “I’m right here, it’s okay.”
You dig your nails into his broad shoulders, yanking him close to you as you gush around his cock. The heightened pleasure leaves you a mewling mess, moaning and whimpering into his ear as you bury your head into his neck. He swiftly pulls out of you, jerking at his length until he spills white over your thighs.
Clarity strikes you. You blink away the aftershocks of your intense orgasm, registering the consequences of your actions. You push him away, startling him as you locate your undergarments.
“What’s wrong? What are you doing?”
You shake your head, redressing yourself as tears sting your eyes. “We shouldn’t have done that! We’re going off to college soon and we’re not even together-”
“Then let’s be together,” he states, frowning as you jump off the table. “I want to be with you, I thought I’ve made myself clear. You’re the only one for me.”
“Jaemin, don’t.”
His expression turns sour. “So what? You’re going to pretend that this hasn’t happened? I love you! What’s so wrong about us being together? I was ready to marry you yesterday!”
“Stop it,” you wheeze, combing down your hair in an attempt to regain your composure. “Jaemin, just stop it. You’re not supposed to marry me. You’re supposed to wed a beautiful girl from the city, a well-bred woman with a good head on her shoulders. I’m supposed to finish my schooling and help Ilkyung and Ilnam with Green Gables. I’m not destined to become a housewife.”
“No one’s asking you to! Do you really think that low of me to believe I would request for you to give up your future to stay at home?”
You rush to the door, wrenching it open and dashing down the steps of his home. He calls after you the entire way but you keep your feet moving, not stopping until you’ve run across the town and to Green Gables.
Later, when Ilkyung scolds you for the state of your dress and you rid yourself of the evidence of your passion between your legs, you vow to never accept a proposal from Na Jaemin.
—
“I can’t believe you’re married.”
Soeun smirks as she twirls in a circle, the train of her dress eagerly following behind her. “I know!” She remarks in a high-pitched giggle. “Oh truly, girls, I hope the rest of you experience this kind of happiness someday. You deserve it.”
Hyojung side eyes you with a look that says, Can you believe she just said that to us?
Donghyuck proposed to Soeun shortly after graduation, and due to his bride’s eagerness and her parents' insistence, they were wed only a month later in her backyard. Soeun was over the moon, corralling the three of you into wedding planning for most of the summer. You assisted with every detail, from the flowers down to the flavor of the cake.
The wedding party also acted as a pseudo farewell gathering for you, as you leave for the girls’ college in the city the following day. Hyojung was in shambles over it, pleading for you not to bring it up until reality finally strikes her.
“Oh look, there’s Jaemin,” Sookyung murmurs, and the statement has your blood running cold. You all raise your heads to see him across the garden, a cup of tea in his hand as he speaks to Soeun’s cousins. “Why, I haven’t seen him since his father’s funeral. He must have been secluding himself since graduation.”
“Can you blame him? You know his father didn’t leave him much in his will. Jaemin was probably working all summer to put himself through college,” Soeun says.
You look away in shame while Hyojung eyes you warily. You’ve kept a tight lip regarding the subject of Na Jaemin, leading her to believe something occurred after the end of term. You never confirmed her speculation, mortified by your actions.
Jaemin wrote you a letter everyday since your entanglement, prompting Ilkyung and Ilnam to raise their eyebrows every time they returned from town with a stack of letters. You never replied to him, afraid of encouraging his fantasies of you ending up together.
“I should go,” you state as Jaemin’s consistent presence makes you wary. “It really was a lovely ceremony, Soeun. I have to help Ilkyung with packing up the rest of my belongings.”
Hyojung begins to tear up at the mention of your departure, and you roll your eyes and pat her back teasingly.
“I will see you tomorrow before I leave,” you laugh, and she grumbles as she wipes away her tears.
You say your goodbyes to the rest of the party, exiting the gardens and locating the shed where they’ve kept the buggys. You find Ilnam’s old horse, giving him a soft pet to his snout and untangling his reins.
Before you can climb in, a voice hollers out, “You look beautiful.”
You purse your lips. “Thank you.”
His front presses against your back and you inhale at the close proximity. He swipes your hair away from your neck, nudging his nose against your skin. You tightly grip the reins in your hands, knowing you should get inside and steer far away from him.
“Jaemin,” you say in warning.
His hand draws around your waist, playing with the ribbons of your corset. “I’ve dreamt of you every night, thinking about you when my mind gets too greedy. Do you think about me too?”
“I leave for the girls’ college tomorrow,” you say through gritted teeth, trying hard to contain your desire. “And my thoughts haven’t changed. We can’t be together.”
“I heard Hyojung’s engaged to Lee Jeno. You don’t think less of her for wanting to marry, do you?”
“Of course I don’t,” you bite back. “But this is different. You know it’s different.”
“Tell me that you think about me too. I need to hear it,” he mumbles as he mouths kisses over your skin.
Your heart beats in your chest rapidly. “I never wanted to make you care for me so. I kept away so you wouldn’t.”
He sighs at your stubborn nature. “The medical school’s accepted me for their fall term.”
You spin around at his revelation. Pride flutters in your chest. “Oh, Jaemin, that’s wonderful!”
He rests his forehead against yours, clutching your hands. “I’m sorry for all the letters over the summer. I only wanted to show you how much I care,” he says, his eyes locked in on yours. “Maybe you don’t think I’m good enough for you now, but I will be someday.”
You shake your head. “That’s not it at all. You’re a great deal too good for me,” you say, stroking his hair back and relishing the way it runs through your fingers. “You need a girl who’d be happy just to hang off your arm, who will build a home for you and dote on you faithfully. I can’t be that girl for you.”
“That’s not what I’m looking for at all-”
“We wouldn’t be good together. We’d end up fighting all the time!” You say to convince him, but he doesn’t look moved by your spiel. “I’d end up regretting falling in love with you, and you’re not a person I would ever want to regret.”
He stands firmly. “I can’t go away knowing that if I had just tried a little harder-”
“I promise I’ll always be here for you,” you say. “Good friends are always together in spirit.”
“You also promised we’d hang out the entire summer before we went away,” he recalls, taking a step back from you.
“Don’t do this, Jaemin.”
He bites down on his tongue like he’s holding back the tears threatening to spill out. “I can’t just be your friend. I love you too much to torture myself like this.”
“Jaemin, please-”
You choke back your sobs when he strolls out of the shed, refusing to hear your pleas. You climb into your buggy, attempting to pull yourself together as you tug on the reins. You loathe your tearful ride back to Green Gables, and Ilnam watches you approach from his spot in the fields. His lips curl downwards when he helps you out, wiping your tears away.
“I’ve done it again and messed it all up,” you tell him, crying into his chest. “Oh Ilnam, when will I ever do something right?”
“Sweetheart,” he coos, stroking your back in comfort. “As far as I’m concerned, you’ve never done a single thing wrong since I’ve known you.”
His blatant lie forces a chuckle out of you. Ilkyung steps out of the house, hands on her hips as she examines the situation. “What are you two doing?” She questions sternly. “We have less than twenty-four hours before we need to be on that train.”
Ilnam mutters, “Go inside before she has both of our heads.” Before you depart, he grips your hand passionately. “You’ll still write to us every week?”
You detect the hesitation in his voice and you kiss his cheek in affirmation. “Of course. I’ll write until you grow tired of my stories. My hands will ache from the repetition but it can’t stop me from keeping close to you.”
The sides of his mouth wrinkle when he grins at you. As you help Ilkyung in folding your clothes upstairs, you wonder if she’ll miss you as much as Ilnam will. She’s always been the tougher one to crack in terms of displaying her emotions, and for the past few days leading up to your departure, she’s barely said a word to you that hasn’t been laced with venom. You suppose it’s her way of coping with change.
“Have you ever been in love?”
She’s taken aback by your question. “I hope this isn’t regarding the Na boy. My arms still hurt from carrying his letters back home.”
You sit on the corner of your bed. “I used to think love was something you didn’t feel until you were older and more mature. In all the stories I read, loving someone so young ends in an unexplainable tragedy. It’s completely selfish of me, Ilkyung, but I couldn’t stand it if he found someone else. I think it would break me, yet at the same time, I know there’s someone better out there for him. A girl who won’t squabble with him over being called a princess.”
She exhales as she places your dress in your suitcase, walking over and taking a seat next to you. She tucks a strand of your hair behind your ear, smiling softly.
“When I was your age, shortly after I also finished my education, I befriended a boy who became my closest confidant. His name was Na Juwon.”
Your head snaps up. “Jaemin’s father?”
She nods, her face twisting into a grimace. “Yes, that’s him. We got along very well, and most people even called him my beau,” she says with a nostalgic look in her eyes. “But we fought, and back then, I wasn’t so quick to forgive. Letting him walk away is one of my greatest regrets. I wish I had just pushed aside my headstrong personality for one second to see the bigger picture. We ended up losing touch and he fell in love with someone else.”
“You never told me that,” you say. “I-I didn’t know you were so close with Jaemin’s father.”
She takes your hands in hers, squeezing them tightly. “Some advice for you, child — a letter can go a long way when you’re separated for that long. He may be cross with you and you may be stuck on your ideals now, but you’ll both learn that a love like yours isn’t easy to find.”
“Thank you, Ilkyung.”
She kisses your forehead. “Now let’s finish your packing. I can’t believe my girl is heading to college tomorrow.”
—
September 12th
Jaemin,
Is it safe to assume the girls at this college dream of me making a complete fool out of myself? I hardly think they have to dream for long considering I’m doing such a great job of it on my own. For women so properly educated and professional, I never imagined most of them haven’t ever picked up a romance novel. I spent the first twenty minutes of my class babbling about the forlorn monologue of the reader and how it translates to her unrequited love before I realized no one agreed with me.
I know we left on bad terms, but I can only hope this letter arrives to you safely. A response is not required, yet I’m obliged to tell you I miss the sound of your voice.
October 22nd
Jaemin,
I’ve been writing again recently. A habit I disregarded briefly to focus on my studies, but as I’m certain you’re well aware, my imagination urges me to capture my visions on paper. It’s nothing fancy, simply romance tales I’ve been daydreaming about. I honestly don’t believe anyone could understand them except for you and Hyojung. Have you heard yet that she and Lee Jeno are to be wed next month? I never thought when they met on Valentine’s Day that their betrothal would come so quickly. She told me she sent you an invitation, but I know you’re probably too busy in medical school to attend.
Do write back to me if you get the chance. I would love to hear how you’ve been.
December 2nd
Jaemin,
Ilkyung told me you won the scholarship for your spring term. I offer my best congratulations to you. I can’t think of anyone more deserving of the award. My hats off to you since I already know you worked so hard for it. I plan on returning to Green Gables for the holidays. Ilnam has taken up a fever and Ilkyung’s growing worried about his health. I’m not sure if I’ll return for my spring term if he’s not well.
I tried submitting my writing to be published in the local town newspaper, but was swiftly rejected due to my stories containing too many embellishments and not enough relation to the character. I think it’s a sign that my writing is not destined beyond Green Gables.
Will you be coming home for the holidays too?
February 25th
I apologize for my late reply. Thank you for your continuous letters. My studies have kept me preoccupied as of late, but I know it’s a horrid excuse for my absence.
I was sorry to hear of Ilnam’s passing during the holidays. I tried to make it out to Green Gables to see you but the trains were blocked here due to the heavy snow. I’m wishing you and Ilkyung all the best.
As for your writing, I’ve always thought you were a spectacular writer. You’re correct in assuming I would most likely be one of the only ones who could understand your romance folly. I think you should write about Green Gables. Your story deserves to be heard by many around the world.
I’m also writing to inform you of my engagement. It’s sudden, I know, and I want to apologize for my foolish behavior last summer. You were right about us, and I see it now.
Regardless, I miss you always, princess.
—
“Don’t lift that, Ilkyung, it’s too heavy. Let me help you.”
You take the box of milk bottles from her hands, setting them on the dining room table. Ilkyung sighs, resting on a nearby chair and pinching the bridge of her nose. She wipes away the dust coating her eyelashes with the back of her hand.
“You have to take it easy, you heard what the doctor said,” you say sternly, narrowing your eyes at her. “It’s why we hired Jisung to help. You’re supposed to call for him if you need anything.”
She waves you off. “I’ll call him when I’m dead.”
“That’s not funny, stop it,” you reply, holding back the onslaught of tears that spring up.
She hears the quiver in your voice and exhales, standing up and teetering over to you. She wraps her arms around you, and you lay your head on her shoulder.
“I’m sorry, you’re right. I’ve become very insensitive to your feelings. I know it’s been difficult for you without Ilnam here,” she murmurs, stroking your hair gently. “He would be very proud of you.”
The front door creaks open and Jisung’s head pops in, grimacing when he observes your fragile state.
“Sorry, sorry. I didn’t mean to intrude.”
“It’s okay,” you dismiss, wiping away your tears. “Come in please. Ilkyung needs help with taking the milk bottles to town.”
Jisung obediently follows your directions, grabbing the heavy boxes and loading them into the buggy outside. You hired him shortly after Ilnam’s passing when you registered that Ilkyung’s health was also deteriorating rapidly. She got constant migraines that impaired her vision, forcing her into bed for most of the day. With Ilnam gone and no one to care for Green Gables, she considered selling the house before you decided to move back. She protested, of course, and you fought for weeks until she relented.
She despised the fact that you dropped your studies but you were not going to allow your first home to be auctioned off like careless livestock. You took a teaching job in the city that provided you enough time to care for Ilkyung accordingly. It also offered you enough time to start writing again. During this go around, fueled by no longer having Ilnam’s presence around, you write about Green Gables like Jaemin suggested.
…And Na Jaemin. You don’t even want to begin to think about the headaches he’s caused you.
Once Jisung departs for town, you begin making supper and instruct Ilkyung to lie down. A knock on the door interrupts your cooking and you’re surprised to see your heavily pregnant best friend behind the door.
“Hyojung!” You scold, helping her inside. “You’re supposed to be resting. The baby’s due any second now.”
She scoffs at you. “He expects me to be a sitting duck at home and I can’t stand it! I need to get out and talk to another human that isn’t my husband.” You help her rest by the fire to keep warm, fetching her a cup of tea. She chews on her lower lip carefully before blurting out, “Soeun saw Na Jaemin walking around with his fiancée in town.”
You pause your slicing of vegetables, raising your head to look at her. She smiles sadly at you.
“That’s- um, that’s wonderful. I’m happy for him,” you say, swallowing your nerves.
“You never told me what occurred between you and him. Every time someone utters anything related to his engagement, you clam up and refuse to speak. From what I recall, the last time we spoke you were letting your petty grudge go and finally starting to be friends with him.”
You sigh, throwing the handful of vegetables into the pot on the stove and stirring carefully. “I have forgiven him, Hyojung. That childish banter is in the past.”
“Then what is it? What has you so on edge around him?”
A flash of breathy whines and heavy groans plays across your mind, along with the heat of Jaemin’s touch and his mouth on your skin.
“It’s nothing. Please, Hyojung, just drop it.”
She lets the subject go for the rest of the night, not owning the same willingness to fight you as she once had due to her pregnancy. She stays for dinner, and Ilkyung walks downstairs to greet her briefly before the lighted candles in the kitchen grow to be too much for her migraine. After eating, you escort Hyojung back home, where Jeno is pacing in worry over his wife.
“Christ, Hyojung. You can’t walk out like that and not inform anyone about your whereabouts,” he says, helping her walk up the steps of the staircase. He smiles politely back at you. “Forgive my crass language.”
You shake your head, waving him off. “No worries. I wanted to see that she made it home safely. I hope you two have a lovely night.”
“She’s going to have a lovely night dreaming about Jaemin!” Hyojung calls when she’s already up the stairs, and Jeno throws you another apologetic look.
You leave the couple to their own devices after rejecting Jeno’s suggestion to stay the night in their guest room. You trudge back to Green Gables, wrapping your arms around yourself as the wind nips at your cheeks. Your mind drifts to Jaemin the entire way, much like it’s been doing since you returned home.
When you received that letter from him in February, in the midst of still grieving over Ilnam, it felt as if he punched you in the gut. You weren’t so shocked to learn he was engaged to someone else, knowing he was making himself a fine catch in medical school and the girls nearby had to be swooning over him. Regardless, the revelation stung. It reminded you of Ilkyung’s story, where she lost Jaemin’s father due to her own stubborn nature.
You contemplated if you were repeating history. If perhaps you and Jaemin are destined to be together, yet the only thing preventing it from coming true is you.
A rough hand tugs on your shoulder and you gasp, spinning around to face the assailant.
Jaemin holds his hands up to profess his innocence. “Sorry. I was calling your name but wasn’t sure if you could hear me.”
“J-Jaemin?”
He chuckles at your astonishment. “Hi,” he says awkwardly, stuffing his hands into the pockets of his coat. “We came into town yesterday and I wanted to come see you. Ilkyung said you were walking Hyojung home.”
You blink in rapid succession, still trying to register that he’s actually in front of you and not a figment of your imagination. You pinch your upper arm just to double check.
“Y-Yes,” you stammer, unable to form coherent sentences. “She’s pregnant, you know? About to pop actually. Jeno’s been like a hawk watching her but you know how Hyojung can be. I mean, I guess you two aren’t really that close but-”
“Are you okay?” He asks, examining you with concern over your verbal incompetence.
You laugh clumsily. “Yes! I apologize, I must be tired. It’s been a gruesome day.”
“I won’t keep you long then. I heard that you stopped attending college to restore Green Gables?”
You nod in affirmation. “I felt it was only right to, especially after Ilnam left us. Jisung has been a great addition, he’s our new farmhand.”
“I want to help finance you.”
“W-What?”
“I’ve been earning my keep with a local doctor while pursuing my studies. He’s been paying for me to shadow him, provided if I assist him where needed. I want to give the money to you so you don’t give up on your dreams.”
You purse your lips, ramming against his shoulder as you begin walking away. “Absolutely not, Na Jaemin.”
He follows after you. “Don’t act this way, please. I want to help you! You can’t give up on college, you’ve worked too hard for it.”
“Nayoung has already offered and I have refused. Besides, what would your fiancée think? Using your hard earned money on a girl you barely know.”
“Yoojung would understand,” he reasons, and you visibly recoil at her name. “And how can you say that? Of course I know you.”
“Do you?” You scoff. “My unanswered letters say otherwise.”
“I apologized for that already. Please, let me take care of you.”
You spin around, digging your finger into his chest. Your eyes blaze with fury, and he flinches at the sight. “You have no right to take care of me. I have never needed your help, and I certainly won’t be requesting it now. So run back to your fiancée and spend your money on your wedding, like a true gentleman would.”
His hand wraps around your upper arm, holding you in place. “Have your feelings changed since the summer?”
He has that optimistic look in his eye, the same one from the night he took you on his dining table. You squash it immediately, enraged by his carelessness for a fiancée you’ve never met.
“No. And you’re a fool for thinking they have.”
You hike up your dress and stomp away from him, ignoring his cry of, “You can’t throw away your dreams! I won’t let you!”
—
“I could stare at his crying face for hours and he would still be the most adorable baby I’ve ever seen.”
Hyojung laughs at you. “You wouldn’t be saying that if you had to hear him wailing relentlessly.”
She lays on top of her shared bed with Jeno as he presses a cloth to her forehead to wipe off the remaining beads of sweat. Chaeyoung had dashed to Green Gables as soon as Hyojung’s water broke, startling both you and Ilkyung as she screamed at the top of her lungs that the baby was coming. The nearest midwife in town rushed at the news after Mrs. Noh pounded on her door furiously.
The newest baby Lee arrived safely into the world, surrounded by a love you could only dream of having. Half of the women in town gathered at the Noh doorstep to offer baked goods and words of comfort to the new mother. Overwhelmed by the influx of support, she only allowed you inside the room, and you held her hand the entire way of delivery.
You shush the sweet child in your arms, whispering softly to him about how you’re going to cherish him forever. Jeno leaves briefly to handle the incoming guests downstairs, and Hyojung stares at you.
“How come I’m the one who’s just given birth yet you look like the most disastrous one here?”
You sigh, knowing she can see the huge bags underneath your eyes, which are slightly red from the crying. You had been relaying your conversation with Jaemin in your head all night, scolding yourself for once again treating him so poorly. You still stand firm on your decision to not take any of his money, yet the heartbroken look on his face after you rejected him lingers.
“I just couldn’t sleep, that’s all.”
“Mrs. Park, could you please give us a minute?” Hyojung asks, and the midwife in the room nods patiently, exiting and shutting the door behind her. Hyojung glares at you. “Give me my baby and start explaining.”
You stride over to her, handing her the small bundle of joy. You take a seat on the chair next to her bed, twiddling your thumbs nervously.
“I ran into Jaemin on my way home.”
Her head snaps up, eyes widening. “And?”
“…Something happened between us last summer.”
“I knew it!” She whisper-shouts, being mindful of the sensitive ears of her new son. “Gosh, I knew you had been keeping it a secret. You acted as if he brought on the plague whenever Soeun mentioned him. What happened?”
You chew on your lower lip. “Everything.”
Jeno strolls back in, giddy as he carries a basket of fresh bread. His smile falters when his wife scowls at him.
“Jen, I love you more than anything and I’m so thankful we brought this child into this world, but I need you to leave us for at least ten minutes. And guard the door so we aren’t disturbed by anyone else.”
Your best friend’s husband gapes at the instruction, but darts his eyes between a heartbroken you and his determined wife. He awkwardly leaves the room.
Hyojung surveys you with the quirk of her eyebrow. You disclose it all to her, from the night in his kitchen to his proclamations of love in the summer. She listens to you with an open jaw, in pure disbelief by your connection with him.
“I’m not going to take his money, Hyojung. I can’t. For heaven’s sake, can you imagine what his fiancée would think? It astounds me that he didn’t even consider her feelings regarding the matter. If I didn’t accept any type of financial compensation from Nayoung, he’s a dunce for believing I would take it from a struggling medical student.”
She grins at you. “You love him.”
You frown. “Is that truly all you heard from that story?”
“You love him and you’re hurting yourself by not confessing it to him. What’s preventing you from finally seeking your true love? You read about love, you write about love, and you dream about being loved. Yet, when it’s served in front of you on a silver platter, you run from it. How is that going to solve anything long term?”
You shake your head. “He has a fiancée. I’m not going to become the woman in the story that intrudes on the heroine’s happy ever after. Why, I’d be no better than the poem where the town watched as the beautiful woman succumbed to her sorrow for her unrequited love. How could I allow myself to become that person, Hyojung?”
“He wouldn’t have offered to pay for your schooling if he didn’t still care for you. Even if he has betrothed himself to another, his heart calls for you. And only you.”
The sharp cry of her newborn has her exhaling, and Jeno enters the room hesitantly. Hyojung nods at him and the man circles the bed, taking the babbling child from her arms. You decide to offer them a few minutes of privacy, brushing off the heated stare Hyojung throws at you that indicates this conversation is far from finished.
She spends the rest of her evening thanking her guests for stopping by. It provides you enough time to slip out unnoticed, even by Ilkyung, who chats with a few other women in the kitchen. You pass the Lake of Shining Waters as you find your way back to Green Gables. You settle into bed but sleep doesn’t find you so easily.
You toss and turn as memories of Jaemin swirl in your head, refusing to quiet its intensity. The sudden flash of a dining table has you squeezing your thighs from arousal, leaving you ashamed of fantasizing about a taken man. You swallow down the feeling as your hand snakes down your lower half, slowly brushing over your throbbing core.
You shut your eyes and dig your teeth into your pillowcase, grinding your hips downwards as you think about the ridge of Jaemin’s cock stretching you out. You gasp silently as you replay his grunts in your ear, breathless from the way he takes you so roughly, like you belong to him. You feel him peppering kisses down your neck, cooing softly in your ear and encouraging you to welcome the pleasure.
You clench down around nothing as you heave, whimpering to yourself in the empty room. You blink heavily as you maneuver through your lust-filled haze, empowering the mortification to seep through.
You shove aside the guilt to provide space for your drowsiness, your mind abruptly settled after entertaining the delusions of Jaemin’s love.
Over the following months, Hyojung doesn’t get another chance to interrogate you. She’s caught in a whirlwind of caring for her child, who hasn’t adjusted to a normal sleeping schedule. Jeno and her are constantly invited to new events held by other mothers in town, desperate to make connections and expand their club to the new generation.
You’re thankful for the reprieve, slightly regretting informing Hyojung of the whole ordeal in the first place. You spend your time caring for Ilkyung and assisting Jisung out in the fields. You fret over her declining health, begging the heavens above to grant your family a break from the stress. You often find yourself sitting in the living room late at night, speaking gently to pictures of Ilnam and hoping he can somehow hear you.
“Ilkyung tells me she’s fine but her migraines are getting worse,” you murmur to the framed photo in front of you, stroking its ends and staring at the solemn gaze of your father. “I don’t know how to discipline her. She won’t relent, you know how she is. I can’t lose her too. I wish you were here to yell at her. She would have called you ridiculous but I know she would’ve listened to you.”
You pause, checking the kitchen to ensure Ilkyung’s not lurking nearby. “You were right about Na Jaemin. I care for him more than anyone else, and he’s a good man. I deluded myself into thinking my feelings could easily vanish, but I know now that isn’t the case. It’s far too late to admit my wrongdoings, for he’s engaged and last I heard, thriving in school. He’ll graduate in the spring and it’s definite he’ll be a married man by then. I’ve accepted my fate to resign as a single woman. It’ll do me some good to look after Green Gables, and I’m almost finished writing my book about the town. I’m not sure it’ll get published, but I must say I believe it to be the best piece I’ve written to date. I wish you here to read it.”
You sniffle, wiping away the stray tears that have fallen. You set the frame back on the table, picking up the candle lighting the room and heading towards the staircase to go to bed.
A knock on the door interrupts you. You’re surprised to see Jisung standing on the other side, smiling awkwardly.
“Jisung? What are you doing here? It’s nearly midnight.”
“Sorry,” he mumbles with a blush painted on his cheeks. You learned over time that the boy tends to grow embarrassed quickly. “I was in town and the postmaster said you’ve been receiving urgent letters. He didn’t know who else to give them to.”
You take the pile from his hands before reprimanding him for staying out so late. He runs home with flushed cheeks while you fan out the letters across the dining table, the candlelight illuminating the ink splattered across the front.
You furrow your eyebrows when you realize most of them are addressed from the girls’ college. Multiple envelopes spanning over different dates. With Ilkyung’s illness boarding in full force, you haven’t had enough time to swing by town and grab the mail.
You open the latest one first, sent only a week ago.
This is the third notice to the Seo household regarding the spring term. Payment has been received and a spot has been reserved. Please reply at your earliest convenience with confirmation of attendance.
Your blood runs cold. You rip open the other letters, each detailing a similar notice for you to arrive at the girls’ college for the spring term, which begins in less than three weeks.
The last envelope, however, is smaller than the others and you recognize the familiar handwriting. You shakily pry the seal off, already guessing what lies underneath.
Don’t be upset. A nurse is set to arrive to care for Ilkyung the week before you leave. I’m not letting you give up.
You crinkle the paper in your palm, laying your hands on your forehead as you take a deep breath.
Why, oh why, did Na Jaemin have to fall in love with you?
—
“Alright, ladies, please pair off and discuss the latest chapter. We’ll regroup before the end of the hour.”
Doyeon turns to you, a grin stretching across her lips. You already know what she plans to ask, letting her wrap an arm around your wrist and race to the back of the room.
As you set your books down and sit far away from the teacher, she continues where she left off before class began. “And then he asked if he could court me officially. I wasn’t exactly in a position to say no.”
“We’re supposed to be discussing the latest chapter,” you remind her. “I, for one, think the hero was far too arrogant to be flaunting his wealth in front of the local commoners.”
She glares at you. “The fact that you still do the reading astounds me.”
“I have people counting on me.”
The three weeks after discovering Jaemin’s secret plot were filled with heated arguments with everyone involved in your life. Ilkyung and Hyojung were pleading for you to take the opportunity and go, insisting the only way you could fulfill your dream of writing was to finish your education. You refused to spend Jaemin’s hard earned money, but the fare for the train ride you needed to get to his medical school to confront him cost too much. You wrote him many strongly worded letters that never received a reply.
It wasn’t until the live-in nurse arrived to care for Ilkyung that you realized you didn’t have much of a choice. Jaemin had already paid her wages for the entire year.
Nayoung even traveled down to knock some sense into you, lecturing you about the need for more female academics. She threatened to write a check that tripled the amount of Jaemin’s if you were really so bothered by him being the sender.
You returned to the girls’ college and resumed your studies at the start of the spring term. You devoted twice as much time as you did in your first term, worrying that Jaemin’s efforts would turn out to be futile. You received the top marks in every class, and a part of you yearned to have a smiley boy sitting next to you, fueling your need for competition.
You finished writing your book about Green Gables after spring had come and gone. You spent weeks speaking to multiple publishers in town, shocked by the popularity of your work and their eagerness to disperse it. By the time classes resumed, you were nearly done finalizing the contract to officially publish your book.
On the other hand, your roommate, Doyeon, had only been sent to college because her parents believed it would market her as a better match for potential suitors. She cared very little about her work, but she became a great friend to you when you needed someone to loosen you up.
“The girls are heading to this parlor after class,” she giggles. “You have to come.”
“I have to finish my essay after class.”
“Come on,” she whines, tugging on your arm. “Just this once. Indulge me!”
She drags you into town that afternoon, pulling you into a circle of girls chatting in the middle of a tea parlor. All of them are dressed in colorful gowns with puffy sleeves, wearing hats with obnoxious feathers decorated on the top. You awkwardly attempt to cover your brown ensemble, with sleeves not as puffy as theirs and no hat in sight. You recognize a few of their faces from your classes but some are unfamiliar to you.
Doyeon sits you down and forces you to make conversation with those around you.
“It was simply tragic,” a girl murmurs from beside you, her hand delicately balancing the saucer under her teacup. “I mean, I felt bad for him but I was not about to become a widowed girl before I turned twenty years of age. Can you imagine the pressure I was under?”
“You’re so brave,” another girl replies, the feather in her hat blocking the view of her right eye. “He was perfect on paper for you.”
“Girls,” Doyeon interrupts cheerfully. The circle turns their attention to her. “I finally convinced my roommate to join us.”
One of them gasps. “So this is her! The esteemed author!”
You stare at your roommate, dismayed by her lack of filter. She smiles sheepishly at you.
“That was meant to be a secret,” you say, laughing shyly. “The book hasn’t exactly been published yet.”
“Oh, but it will be soon, won’t it?” Another person pipes up, eyes sparkling. “Can you believe this, girls? We’ll actually know someone famous.”
You shake your head nervously, bashful at the sudden attention. The girl next to you nudges your side.
“What was your name again?”
When you provide your answer, the group falls into a sudden hush. The girl next to you stiffens completely, her fingers nearly breaking her porcelain teacup. Doyeon is just as confused as you. “What’s happened?”
“You’re her,” the girl beside you whispers. “You’re the girl.”
Your bewilderment only grows tenfold when she stands and sneers down at you. “What’s it like to receive a free education?”
“W-What?” You stutter, taken aback. You haven’t told anybody about your ordeal with Jaemin or the real reason why you’re attending college. How is it possible that this stranger knows your circumstances?
She scoffs in disbelief at you. “Do you know how much pain you’ve caused me? How much heartache you’ve brought to my family?” At your continued hesitation, she snaps. “Does the name Choi Yoojung mean anything to you? Or how about Na Jaemin?”
The puzzle pieces click together. The woman in front of you is Jaemin’s fiancée — the beautiful girl who he fell in love with after you broke his heart. You had assumed they married months ago, but by the way venom drips from her voice when speaking his name, you guess it didn’t go as planned.
“Yoojung,” a girl speaks gently, trying to calm her down when she identifies the fear flash across your face.
She doesn’t relent. “Congratulations to you. He’s driven himself to death in his mission to take care of you. Now neither of us can have him.”
A chill rushes down your spine. You stand, staring at her as your demeanor switches into something more serious. “What are you talking about?”
She snorts. “You didn’t even bother to check on him, did you?”
“I write to him every week,” you retort, curling your lip. “He never responds.”
“Because he’s working! He’s always working. He never stopped because you needed the money,” she snarls. “He only quit when he contracted typhoid fever last month and returned home. I imagine he’s been dead for weeks already.”
You swear your heart stops beating. Doyeon grasps your hand in concern but you shrug her off. You struggle to control your breathing, panicking at the thought of Jaemin slaving himself away at the hospital just so you could go out for tea on a midday afternoon. Doyeon places her hands on your shoulders, troubled by your anxiety.
“Yoojung, back off,” she warns.
The girl listens, gathering her things and storming out of the parlor. The other women follow in pursuit, leaving only you and Doyeon.
“I have to go home,” you say, feeling as if your heart has plummeted three stories down. “I-I have to see him.”
She has no idea who you’re referring to, probably lost for most of your conversation with Yoojung. Regardless, she nods and helps you to the door, rubbing your back soothingly. You pack your belongings in record time, locating the money you have as an advance from the publishing company for a train ticket home. Doyeon calls for her buggy and gives you a ride to the station, and you kiss her cheek and thank her for her assistance.
You spend the entire journey exhausting yourself with images of a sickly Jaemin, but you force your thoughts not to stray to the notion of his death. Once you offboard, dread sinks in when you register that you have no ride back, not giving Hyojung an indication that you would need a buggy at the station.
The universe seems to save you when you spot Soeun and Donghyuck carrying their newborn through the train platform.
You call her name desperately, and she spins around to face you. Her expression lights up. “Oh! I didn’t know you were back in town-”
“Is it true? About Jaemin?”
Her face falls and she glances at her husband with apprehension. You repeat her name, glaring at her with one of the strongest looks you can muster.
She caves in. “Hyojung told me not to say anything, I swear! We didn’t know how bad it had gotten until a week ago.”
“Is he alive?” You ask, your heart thumping furiously in your chest in anticipation of the answer.
“…Yes. But I’m not supposed to tell you-”
“Take me to him.”
Soeun and Donghyuck allow you to squeeze into their buggy, making the expedition to Jaemin’s home and dropping you off. She gives you a pitiful look, kissing your cheeks gently in farewell.
You take a deep breath as you walk up the steps, knocking on the door. The house has perished quite a bit over the years, with grass growing out of the floorboards of the porch and the paint slowly peeling. When the door opens, however, it still smells exactly like Jaemin.
An older man stares back at you, eyebrows furrowed. “May I help you, madam?”
“Na Jaemin. I’m here to see Na Jaemin,” you say, breathless and choking back tears.
He smiles. “Ah, you’re her. I’ve been waiting for someone to inform you. He wouldn’t let me.” He ushers you inside, helping you place your luggage aside. He outstretches his arm to take the book in your hands but you clutch it tighter to your chest. “I’m Dr. Lee, I’ve been Jaemin’s mentor since he began his schooling. I put a pause on my practice to nurse him back to health.”
You sniffle, disregarding your manners out of impatience. “Is he here?”
He smiles softly in understanding, gesturing his head towards the back of the house. “He’s in his father’s room.”
You swallow as you walk down the hallway, the flickering candlelight illuminating the dusty room. You inhale sharply when you see Jaemin splayed out on the bed, face completely drained of color. He’s tucked completely in the blankets of his father’s tiny bed, barely big enough to fit him. You rush to his side, gripping his hand tightly in yours.
He blinks lethargically at you before mumbling, “Princess?”
You wipe your tears away. “You’re an idiot. The most reckless person I know.”
A smile spreads across his chapped lips. “I’ve missed you.”
You quell the urge inside you that begs to argue with him, to scold him for not taking care of himself and putting his life at risk. But you don’t want to waste your precious moments with him by fighting, so you show him the book in your arms instead.
“I finished writing about Green Gables, just as you said I should,” you mumble through blurry vision. “I’ll be a published author soon. I dedicated the inscription to Ilkyung and to Ilnam and… to you.” You open the first page of the book, unveiling his name. You choke out, “I was planning on sending it to you as a wedding gift.”
“There’s something you should know,” he croaks. “About me and Yoojung.”
You shake your head, swiping back the hair matted to his forehead. “I already know,” you say. “W-We had an unfortunate run in.”
“You understand now then. You understand that there’s never been anyone for me but you.”
You shut your eyes tightly, bending down and pressing your forehead against his cheek. You rest your hand over his chest and feel the way it rises and falls. “You have to get better,” you say sternly. “You have to get better so I can tell you how I really feel.”
You make a home out of Jaemin’s room for the next few weeks. Dr. Lee and you take turns watching over him, and he locates a spare cot in the storage closet for you to sleep on. You set it up right next to Jaemin’s bed, holding his hand as you doze off. You feed him and read him stories, although his number one request has been to hear your book.
Dr. Lee recounts his memories with Jaemin, and how he’s never met a student more hardworking. He reveals that Jaemin always spoke about you, referring to you as the smartest girl he’s ever known.
By week four, Jaemin regains the color in his cheeks and is able to sit up in bed on his own. You’re attempting to spoon a hearty soup into his mouth but he’s making it into an impossible task.
“You said you would tell me how you feel if I got better,” he whines. His hands snake around your waist, pulling you closer to him as you gasp, trying not to spill the piping hot bowl on him. “I kept up my end of the bargain.”
“Jaemin,” you huff, scooting back before you’re sitting on his lap. “You’re still not back to complete health. Can you please finish your dinner?”
A knock echoes on the door, and you turn to see Dr. Lee smiling at you both. He’s carrying a suitcase in his hand and has a coat draped over his frame. “Well, it’s been a joy to help my young prodigy, but I really must return to my practice.”
Your eyes widen. “You’re leaving?”
He chuckles at your reaction. “He hasn’t shown any symptoms for three days, which leads me to believe the worst of it is over. All he has to do now is get plenty of rest and drink lots of fluids. And luckily, he has a beautiful nurse here to help him.”
Jaemin beams, grinning while you look away in embarrassment. “Thank you, Mr. Lee. I owe you a great deal.”
“Nonsense,” the doctor brushes off. “Considering you fell ill on my watch, I would declare I owed this to you.” You walk him to the front door, thanking him for watching over Jaemin. He winks at you before he climbs into his buggy. “You’ll take even better care of him, I’m certain.”
You observe as he rides away, waving his hat in the air as a salute to you. You smile before returning inside, gasping when you see Jaemin leaning on the dining table.
“What are you doing out of bed? You can’t be strolling around the place just yet-”
You’re effectively silenced when he boxes you in, his lips descending over yours. You crumple up the fabric of his sweater in your palm, relishing the way he runs his tongue over your bottom lip.
Your nagging continues as he peppers kisses down your jaw. “You really should not be out of bed right now. You need to save your strength and energy for recovery.”
You whimper when his fingers sneak underneath your dress, stroking your clothed core. He props you up against the table, and you’re suddenly thrown back in time.
“J-Jaemin, we shouldn’t-”
“Unless you plan on confessing your feelings for me, I would rather not hear another peep out of you,” he says, swallowing you with his frame. “I’ll make exceptions, of course. Like this.”
His fingers press harder against your folds and you whine, arching into him. It’s not long before your undergarments are discarded on the floor. You haven’t been intimate with someone since Jaemin, causing goosebumps to rise over your skin when his digits brush over your entrance.
“Tell me,” he grunts lowly in your ear. “Tell me how you feel. I need to know.”
Two fingers slide in easily, and you immediately clench down on him, your mind swirling in exhilaration. He pulls back to watch your reaction, smirking when he sees your jaw dropped open. He leans forward to capture your lips in his again.
“Tell me,” he whispers in between his tongue exploring your mouth.
He curls his digits, rubbing against your walls perfectly. You’re ashamed to hear the sound of your slick filling the room. His other hand works at untying your corset, loosening your dress just enough to expose your breasts for his viewing.
“Jaemin,” you exhale when he takes the hardened bud of your nipple into his mouth, sucking gently. You grind down onto his hand as the pleasure begins to strike in full force. The combination of his fingers caressing you and his tongue flicking over your stiff peaks is enough to drive you to the edge, mewling loudly as you soak his digits in your arousal. You pant as you confess, “I love you.”
His head snaps up, grinning wider than ever. You squeak when he launches himself at you, spreading your back across the wood of the dining table. You giggle as he attacks you with an onslaught of kisses.
“Say it again,” he says, quickly pulling his length out of his trousers.
When he thrusts inside you, a moan falls freely from your lips, accompanied by another “I love you.”
It’s swift and desperate, the way he harshly ruts into you as you sing sweet noises for him, praising him while his cock abuses your pussy. You’ve never wanted anyone the way you crave him, keeping him as close as possible in fear of him leaving you. He assures you with the skin of his teeth, grazing your neck as he marks you as his.
When he spills inside you, you swear you’ve never been this happy before. He doesn’t retract from you, burying his head into your shoulder as he wraps himself in your scent.
“I’ll make you a promise,” he murmurs. You tangle your hand through his hair, scratching his scalp affectionately. “I’ll let Nayoung pay for your schooling and I promise not to work myself to death at the hospital. But after graduation, we take our vows and move back to Green Gables. We start a new life with each other.”
You laugh, giddy over the thought. Just last year, you were convinced you would retire as a lonely spinster, reminiscing over your lost love. Yet now he lays on top of you, fulfilling your dream of forever in a great big home.
You nod. “That sounds beautiful.”
—
A scream erupts throughout the house and you pinch the bridge of your nose in exasperation. Hyojung sits next to you in her rocking chair, chortling with glee at your misery.
Ilkyung strides by, carefully balancing herself with her cane. “I’ll take care of it.”
“Thank you,” you call after her, watching as she corrals your two toddlers in the kitchen.
“Five children is just too much,” Hyojung remarks with the click of her tongue. “How could you let Jaemin talk you into another one?”
You stare down at your growing belly, resting your hand over your bump. “He’s very convincing.”
Your husband barrels through the front door with your six-year-old son attached to his back while your eight-year-old daughter curls around his leg. He’s laughing, pretending to make them fly as your two other toddlers rush over to him, eager to join the scene.
You married Jaemin shortly after graduation, sealing your vows next to the Lake of Shining Waters. Ilkyung was delighted when you chose to move into Green Gables as Jaemin landed a position as the town’s new doctor and your second book was about to be published. You finished the girls’ college with high marks, securing a teaching spot at the best college in the area.
You lived in pure bliss. You kept the nurse who looked after Ilkyung in your absence, and she eventually became a helping hand to your rowdy family. Jisung still assisted you and Jaemin with maintaining the farm, even stepping out of his comfort zone every now and then to chase your children around the yard.
You thank the universe everyday for granting you a second chance at happiness. Jaemin constantly dotes on you, fretting over your every need. He’s a perfect father, never losing his temper with the children and cooing at them in soft voices. It’s perhaps why you’re so inclined to keep giving him more.
He staggers over to you after he manages to pry your rambunctious children off his body, leaning down to press a kiss to your lips.
“Are you two enjoying yourselves?”
Hyojung smiles. “We would be if your wife’s feet weren’t swelling enormously, Dr. Na,” she says with a teasing tone. “You should rub her feet to make her feel better.”
He’s quick to follow orders, sitting on the carpet and getting to work.
“Anything for my princess.”
You throw Hyojung a look. “Now you’re just misusing our power.”
You glance over at your children, who are flocking towards their grandmother and asking her for a snack. Then you look at your beaming husband and your mischievous best friend, the true kindred spirits of your heart. And it’s all topped by the puffiest sleeves a girl’s ever owned, sitting proudly on your arms.
Your dream of having a home to call yours has finally come true.
this fic was posted for early access to the $5 tier on my patreon, which you can access here!
