dreamie | 1997 | infj | she/her | in love with bangchan, jeon wonwoo & yoon jeonghan.
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When it comes to firsts, you and Joshua were each others first for practically everything. He was your first kiss, you shared your first time together, you awkwardly lost your virginities to each other. You were each others first loves and your first heartbreaks.
Seven months, and six days have passed since you walked out the door and never came back. In that time you haven't moved on, you haven't tried to date anyone one. In your heart and soul you're still married.
ITS NEVER OVER
Joshua doesn't think he's ever loved, or will love anyone like he loves you. Watching you walk out of your shared home after an argument, was the most heartbreaking moment of his life.
The first three months you were gone, Joshua texted or called you everyday trying to get you to come home. Slowly the communication started to fade, and now Joshua hasn't spoken to you in three months and twenty-two days.
Since you left Joshua had refused to acknowledge you're sperated. He still wears his wedding ring, and anytime a woman tries to flirt with him he always reminds them he's married.
He's not sure if he can save his marriage or if you'll ever comeback home. He holds out hope that one day you'll come back home.
-
It's another day Joshua is working at the flower shop you both own from open to close. He has Jeonghan helping out running out the small coffee shop that's attached to it.
Today isn't an easy day for Joshua by any means. Today should be your eighth anniversary.
He's spent today burying himself in work. Jeonghan is very aware of what today is. He offered to work open to close with his best friend so he can keep an eye on him.
Joshua is putting the finishing touches on a floral arrangement for a regular who always buys flower for his wife. He puts the arrangement in the cooler before fishing his phone out of his pocket.
Opening his text he goes to your pinned contact. He frows seeing his last message from you was three months ago.
Shua [10:32am] Happy Anniversary.
He stares at his phone knowing there probably won't be response. You’ve barely responded to the last few messages he's sent.
Around noon Jeonghan finally convinces him to at least take a short lunch with him. Joshua's finished up all the early pick up orders and Mina has no problem running the flower counter, and taking orders.
Sitting in the back office Joshua leans back in his chair rubbing his eyes. He hates everything about today.
Jeonghan doesn't like seeing his best friend so distraught. For the last few months he's contemplated begging you to come back to your clearly broken estranged husband. This is your first anniversary apart and he knows Joshua is barely hanging on by a thread.
Leaning forwards, Joshua finally takes a bite of his salad that Jeonghan had ordered him. He can feel his best friend's eyes burning into him, with each bite he takes.
"Why are you here today?" Jeonghan thought Joshua would spend the day at home moping around.
"Because if I spend the day trapped in the home I used to share with her, I might actually lose my mind."
"Shua, maybe it's time you ask for her to comeback or give you a divorce?"
Joshua let's out a heavy sigh leaning back again. "I don't want a divorce. I just want my wife back."
"I know you do. It's just— Shua I hate seeing you torn up like this."
"I know. I hate feeling this way. I just don't know what to do."
"You should go out with me and Seungcheol to the bar tonight."
"Is that a good idea?" Joshua sighs.
"Yeah. I'm not asking you to get drunk, but just come out tonight. I don't want you sitting at home moping around."
Joshua's phone vibrates on the table. He picks it up and sees a message from you.
Goldie 12:13pm - Happy Anniversary.
He truly thought he wouldn't hear from you at all today. He doesn't expect you to call or anything, but he's glad you at least sent him a text.
"Whose texting you?"
Joshua sits the phone down on the table. "Goldie."
"You still call your wife her nickname?" For as long as Jeonghan has know Joshua, he's rarely ever heard him call you by your actual name.
"She's bright like a marigold."
"Your favorite flowers are white roses, I'm still shocked you don't call her Rosie."
Joshua grabs his phone and opens his text.
Shua 12:21pm: I miss you.
"Shua, just go to the bar tonight with me and Cheol."
He just stares at his text you. He can't bring himself to sit in the homes shared, during this anniversary you'll be apart.
"I'll go out tonight."
IS THIS AN ILLUSION?
The sight of you standing right outside the entrance of the flower shop doesn't feel real. Joshua rubs his eyes unsure if this is actually real. It's taking everything in him not to rush the few feet towards you. The closer he gets he realizes you're eyes are glossy and that have been crying.
"Goldie?"
You look up at him and give him a sad smile. "Hi, Shua."
He stood in front of you. He just takes a moment to fully look at you. He was starting to think he might not ever see you again.
"Why are you here?" He stops in front of you.
"I realize I'm miserable without you. I thought I needed to try and be independent, but I understand that's foolish."
Joshua glances around the quiet street. The is watercolors of pink and orange as it starts to rise. He doesn't want to have this conversation out on the street.
"Let's go inside and talk over some coffee." He fishes his key out of his pocket. Opening the door, he holds it open for you.
You look around the flower shop and smile at the site of the bundles of marigolds and white roses together.
"The marigolds are always there because of you." Back in the high school Joshua gave you a bouquet of marigolds and told you they remind him of you. He's called you Goldie since you were teens because of the vibrant flower.
"Are the white rose for you?" You pick a single stem white rose up.
"They're still my favorite flower." He says. “You know they represent new beginnings?”
“Yeah. You gave them to me after our first fight in high school.” You hope that the white rose can represent your future now.
He walks over to the small coffee shop. He turns on the espresso machine and gets to work making coffee for both of you.
This flower shop and cafe is something the two of you built together. This place was just as much yours as it was his before you left.
He tries to focus on making coffee, but he can only focus on you. He's watching you make your way around the flower shop, looking at all the flowers.
He brings over a small tray holding both your iced lattes. Walking over you sit down across to him at small table near the window.
You take a sip of the honey flavored latte. He made it exactly how you have always loved it. "I know I have messed up, am I hurt you."
"You were my first love, and you became my first heartbreak." He responds.
"I know. I broke both of our hearts." You'll never point any of the blame on your husband. Joshua has always been perfect to you. "I left because I never knew what it was like to be independent. I went from living under the guidance of my father, to being married. I've always had a man in my life helping me figure out how to live. I needed to try and be independent."
His brows knit together. "Did you think I was controlling?"
"No, not at all. I just needed space to try an discover who I am. I realized the whole time I was away that my life doesn't make sense without you."
Reaching for the glass you take another drink of your coffee. "I'm coming home. If you would like to continue our relationship, I would love that. I understand if you don't want to. I hurt you, and know that. I can stay with Seokmin and rent a room from him."
"You're crazy if you think I'm going to let you live with Seokmin. Since the moment you walked out of our home on that raining day, I have hoped and prayed that I would come home to me."
"Don't you hate me for hurting you?"
He reaches out taking your hand in his. "Goldie, I don't think I will fully ever understand why you left like you did. I always thought you knew you could talk to me and trust me. But I could never hate you. I just hated that you made me feel like I was just an afterthought." It's true, he's been heart broken since you left, but he's never hated you.
"Okay." Tears slowly start sliding down your cheeks. "I'm sorry I made you feel that way."
Reaching across the table he rest his hand on your cheek. He drags his hand across the delicate skin of your cheek, swiping away your tears. "Come home tonight. Let's have dinner and you can stay the night or you can go stay with Seokmin. The guest room is still set up."
"I would like that."
He wants to ask you a million questions. He wants to know what you've been up to, and where you have been living. He's pretty sure when you left you went and stayed with Seungkwan and his wife.
You both finish your lattes. Joshua is lucky you decided to show up after closing. He knows Jeonghan is going to show up soon to drag him to the bar.
"Did you want pasta tonight for dinner?" It's your anniversary and he would like to make your favorite meal.
"That would be nice."
He glances up when he sees Jeonghan unlocking the door and walking in. He didn't know if Jeonghan was coming in or going to call him. As a partial owner of the coffee shop in here, Jeonghan tends to come and go as he pleases here.
"Oh." Jeonghan says at the sight of you sitting with Joshua.
You turn and fully look at your husbands best friend. Joshua isn't aware that Jeonghan has been checking on you once a month since you left.
"Hi, Hannie."
Jeonghan shoves his hands into his jeans pockets. He looks at Joshua raising his brows. He's not fully sure what he just walked into to.
"Jeonghan, um Goldie is back." Joshua stands up.
"Welcome back, Goldie." Jeonghan tilts his head at you.
Jeonghan walks over and hands Joshua a bag. Joshua dismisses him and takes it to the back office. You're left alone with Jeonghan for a moment.
"When I asked you to come back last night. I didn't expect to see you at seven tonight." Jeonghan sits down where Joshua was sitting.
"I knew it was time to come home, your message was the push I needed." You pause staring at the man who had become your best friend as well. "I know you probably hate me, and we probably aren't friends anymore."
He knits his brows together. "I don't hate you, and we can still be friends. I'm just asking that you don't break his heart again."
Joshua walks back out holding the keys to the store. He gives you a gentle smile, before looking towards Jeonghan.
"I'll let Cheol know you can't come out tonight." Jeonghan stands up and grabs your empty coffee cups.
Joshua walks closer to you. Jeonghan walks away disposing of the cups.
"Are you ready to go home?" Joshua asks.
You stand up, glancing over you see Joshua holding out his hand. You don't even hesitate, you reach out lacing your fingers with his.
Walk out of the shop, Jeonghan leads the way. Joshua releases your hand just long enough to lock the door.
Jeonghan says goodbye and heads down the street towards the bar.
ALL THE MEMORIES WE’VE SHARED
Once you're both alone Joshua leads you towards his car. He unlocks it's and opens the passenger door for you.
"I didn't ask how you got here." Joshua pauses.
"Seokmin dropped me off."
You both get into the car. Joshua glances over and gives you a smile before he turns the car on. The drive the flower shop, to your home takes all of five minutes. Joshua parks the car in the driveway and you both get out.
Heading inside your shared home, it still looks like just the day you left. Over by the couch, your engagement and wedding photos are still hung. After you left your thought he would remove those photos.
You follow him as he heads off to the kitchen. He grabs a bottle of wine and pops it open. You stand by the sink watching as he moves around the kitchen. He pours to glasses of red wine. He grabs one, holding it out for you.
Taking the glass you hold it out. He grabs his own and raises it. "Happy anniversary."
You cheers your glasses before taking a sip of rich yet subtle flavor of blackberries in the wine.
"Happy anniversary," you respond.
"Take a seat and I'll make us your favorite pesto."
Walking over you sit down at the kitchen table. You sip on the rich wine, watching him move with ease around the kitchen. Cooking for you has always been apart of Joshua's love language with you.
It takes about thirty minutes before he sets down a delicious looking plate of pesto pasta.
He sits down across from you. There is about two minutes of silence before you both start making small talk.
"Do you remember when we're were home from college celebrating our anniversary and your mom almost walked in on us?" Joshua asks. You remember this night fully. You were both twenty and had been dating for four years at that point. You planned on getting a hotel for your anniversary, but weren't able to. Joshua thought it would be romantic if he snuck into your parents house in the middle of night. It turns out your were being too loud having sex and your mom was concerned you were hurt and came knocking on your luckily locked door.
"Yes. We were being so loud, my mom thought something hurt me and made me cry." If only she knew, your charming boyfriend was fucking you so good you couldn't shut up.
Through out dinner you keep talking about past memories. After another glass of wine you both work on cleaning up the kitchen. Joshua puts the last dish away as you finish your last drink of wine.
Joshua is standing there looking absolutely handsome. This dinner made you feel like everything was back to normal. It's making you realize you didn't destroy everything you built together, like you thought you did.
You've missed your husband desperately, and you never want to leave his side again.
Joshua walks closer to you. He stops right in front of you. He reaches out pushing your hair out of you face. He doesn't anything, he just stares at you for a moment.
Without thinking, you lean in crashing your lips into his. His hand grips your hip, pulling you flush against his body. Wrapping your arms around his neck, you deepen the kiss. The whole time you were gone, you craved this feeling. You told yourself over and over again, that you left to find yourself, but you couldn't push away the aching feeling in your chest. Every single day, you're apart you've missed your husband. Now that you're back you don't ever want to leave his side again.
Pulling back slightly, he rests his nose against yours. "Are you sure you want this?" He whispers.
"I just want to be with my husband again." His brows knit together for a moment. "Joshua, if you'll have me back, I wanna be yours."
Not another word was uttered before he crashes his lips into yours for a searing kiss. He walks you backwards until your back hits the wall with a thud.
He pulls away smiling. His smile sends a fluttering storm of butterflies into your stomach. "Baby, you've alway been mine. Even when you made me feel like an afterthought. You were always mine." He says before kissing you again.
Reaching for his belt, without thinking you start unbuckling it. He stares at you with a look of awe. You fumble, as your work on unbuckling his pants. You push his jeans down below his butt, and pull out his already hardening length. Your eyes lock on his, as your slowly pump his length.
You give him a smile, before dropping to your knees in front of him. You start off by holding, his length while you slowly took his rosy colored tip. He threads his fingers through your hair, holding it away from your face. Hallowing your cheeks you take his length into your mouth. Bobbing your head you slide your tongue against the vein that runs along the underside of his cock.
Joshua's eyes are closed, and his lips are parted. It's taking everything in him not to guide your movements. He's just letting your set your own pace. God he's missed the feeling of your mouth.
"Goldie." He lets out a breathy moan.
Looking up through your lashes, your eyes lock with his. He looks beautiful as he's on the edge of falling apart.
One hand rest on his thigh, while the other reach down to play with his balls.
"Baby, I'm close." You love how desperate he sounds.
Hallowing your cheeks you take him into your throat. He shakes his head and pulls away from you.
Sitting back on your heels you look up at him, confused.
"Baby, our first time together in months I refuse to finish the first time in your mouth." He reaches down, helping you stand up.
He leans down pressing his lips to yours for a quick kiss. "Let's move to our bedroom."
Laying on top of the same comforter you spent hours shopping dragging Joshua around on a sunny June afternoon. Pushing yourself up on your elbows you watch as Joshua starts stripping away this clothes. He's still absolutely beautiful.
It's been so long since you've been intimate. Joshua is the only man you've ever been with, and you never want another man touch you like he does.
He sits his knee on the bed and starts crawling towards you. He sits on his heels between your spread legs. Leaning down he places a kiss on your knee.
"I'm going to eat you out." He lays down on his stomach, with your needy pussy right in front of his face. He starts by kissing the top of your mound. He spreads your lips and with his fat tongue he licks your puffy clit.
"Oh—" you instantly moan.
"You taste just as sweet as I remember."
He dives into your core like a man starved. He practically makes out with your clit, switching between licking and sucking as he pumps two fingers in and out of you.
Your fingers tangle in his hair, holding him close to your core. Without thinking your lift your hips pushing your pussy closer to his face.
"Shua—" You moan.
He curves his fingers up, touching that spot inside you, that leaves you seeing stars. He sucks harder on your clit. Your orgasm hits you like a lightening strike. Everything tenses and then your whole body instantly relaxs. Your walls flutter around his fingers. You're body lies limp against the soft bed.
He pulls back smiling. His lips have a shine to them from your release. His tongue slides across his top lip, collecting some of your release.
Your eyes are squeezed shut letting the high wash over you. Joshua takes this time to slowly pull back. He moves back to his position, sitting on his knees between your spread legs. He pumps his painfully hard length, looking down at you.
Your eyes open and you find him staring down at you. He presses another gentle kiss to your knee.
"Do I need to get a condom?" He hasn't worn in a condom with you since you were in college together, but it's been so long since you were intimate he doesn't know if you want him to wear one. His large hand rests on your thigh, and rubs it slowly.
A smile tugs at your lips. "I'm still on birth control, and haven't even looked at another man other than you."
"Goldie—" he pauses and looks at you with his brows knit. "Baby, I've never been with anyone other then you. The whole time you were gone I never planned on moving on. I'm faithful to you."
"I didn't wasn't accusing you of anything. I just wanted you to know I was faithful to you too." You give him a smile. "Joshua I want to feel you fully raw again."
He moves closer to you. He takes his hard length in his hand, running it through your wet folds. A soft gasp passes your lips as the rosy mushroom tip bumps against your sensitive clit. He moves so he's hovering over you, while he rest on his knees. He pushes you inch by inch as painfully slow pace. It's been so long since you've had sex with anything other than your vibrator. It's going to take a moment for you to adjust to the size of your husband. The moment he's fully inside he stills, giving you a moment to adjust. Closing your eyes you tilt your head back. He reaches up resting his hand on your cheek.
"You okay?" Your eyes flutter open, and find him staring down at you.
"Yeah, I just need a minute. It's a been a while."
"Baby it's been seven long months since I have been inside you." He gives you that smile that always makes you feel weak in the knees.
"Shua, can you move?" Your reach up, tangling your fingers in his hair.
Without saying another word, he starts moving at a slow and deep pace. His body is practically plastered against you. One of yours hands is tangled in his hand and the others rest on his lower back. You can't get enough of him. Seven long months left you yearning for him.
His large length is filling you completey. He's so long you feel as if he's kissing your cervix with each deep thrust. The room is filled with echoing sounds of your whimpers and moans, and his deep moans. Resting his face in the crook of your neck, he leaves a wet trail of kisses, most definitely leaving marks in his wake.
"Baby you feel so good," he groans against your skin.
Spreading your legs wider for him, he's able to hit spots even deeper. Closing your eyes you focus on your rapidly approaching high. You let out a high pitched moan that sounds like his name. You're on the verge of falling apart.
"You're clenching." He groans. He knows your body inside and out. He's aware that you're on the brink of falling apart.
"You feel so good. You're so big." You're practically squirming, trying to push your hips up towards him.
"Baby you can come." He pulls his lips away from your skin.
You silently nod your head. Your whole body feels tense. The coiling in your stomach has your wound so tight, you're on the brink of exploding.
Joshua pulls away from your fully. You whine at the loss of him plastered against you. He sits on his knees between your spread legs. This position gives him. The ability to play with your clit. He picks up his pace, still going deep, but smacking his hips into yours hard. His hand rest on your mound, his thumb works on rubbing your sensitive clit. Your lips part, as a silent gasp passes.
Pushing yourself up on your elbows your watch what he's doing. It's absolutely toxicity watching as he plays with you.
"Fuck—" you whine.
"Come for me baby."
Silently you nod.
He pushes his hips into yours at quicker pace. Your orgasm feels like a tidal wave. The coil snaps in your stomach like it never had before. Your walls squeeze his massive length pushing him over the edge right behind you. He fills you to the brim with his milky white release. He's cum harder then he ever has.
He keeps thrusting into you with shallow thrust, helping you both ride out your high. Pulling out he watches as his thick cum slowly starts to leak out. Without thinking he drags two fingers through your folds helping to push his release back inside you.
"God I love you." He says.
"I love you too."
He kisses the top of your knee one last time before running off to the bathroom to get a warm cloth to clean you up.
Laying in bed with your husband feels surreal. There were many nights after you left you thought you lost him forever.
Laying in your side you stare him. He's laying on his side staring back. His hand rest on the bed between you. You're both still fully naked.
"Baby, I want my wife back."
"Why are you so willing to forgive me?" You can't push away the guilty feeling that's eating away at you.
"Because I love you, and I'm willing to understand why you left me." His words make you feel like your chest is being squeezed. "We can go slow. We can act like we're dating again, we have a guest room. One of us can sleep in there."
"Slow would be nice. Maybe we don't always sleep in separate rooms."
He smiles. "I'll do whatever you want. I just want you back."
"I'm back." You can't help but cry.
He reaches out pushing away your tears. "Don't cry, baby."
"I'm just worried. People probably hate me for hurting you."
He shakes his head. "No one can hate you. Sure some people don't understand, but no one hates you. Baby what other people think doesn't matter. All that matters is, I want you back, and I love you."
"I love you too."
Joshua moves closer. He crashes his lips into yours before pulling you into his arms. You know you messed up, but Joshua loves you, and wants to work on building your life together again. You hope one day maybe that guilty feeling will go away. But right now all that matters is that you love your husband, and he loves you.
He’s always been a fighter and a protector in every lifetime. No matter how hard he tries evil always follows you in one way or another. You have no clue who he is until you come face to face with the man, warding off the evil from your dreams. You find him in an abandoned warehouse fighting in an illegal boxing match. The man in the ring winning instantly captures your attention in every way possible.
˙⋆✮ 𝐠𝐞𝐧𝐫𝐞(𝐬): romance, smut, angst
˙⋆✮ 𝐚𝐮(𝐬): underground boxing au, reincarnation au, egyptian god au, soulmate au
˙⋆✮ 𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐝 𝐜𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐭: 14k
˙⋆✮ 𝐭𝐫𝐢𝐠𝐠𝐞𝐫 𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬: explicit adult content, violence, gang activity, fighting, injuries, blood, mc has a shitty ex that won’t leave he alone and is harassing her and practically stalking her, attempted murder, sex work, and stripping.
˙⋆✮ 𝐬𝐦𝐮𝐭 𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬: unprotected p in v, creampie, fooling around in the shower, hand job, choking, body worship, couch sex, riding, fingering, they’re both kinda desperate, lots of making out, nipple play Nicknames: baby, bunny (hers)
˙⋆✮ 𝐫𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐠: 18+ nsfw
˙⋆✮ 𝐚𝐧: this was written for ‘Sand of Time’ hosted by @sailorsoons & @daechwitatamic thank you @aeristudios for helping me figure out this story. Thank you for beta reading @thestraybunny. Divider by @/saradika-graphics.
🎧: kiss it better - rhianna | dying for you - charli xcx | do i wanna know - the arctic monkeys | shrike - hoizer | chains of love - charli xcx
Everything existence he's ever had, he's been a fighter. He's lived too many lives times to count. His life as the god Bes makes him a protector. He's lived so many lives protecting people and warding off evil spirits. “There’s another repeating situation when it comes to every one of his lives, you. He is put on earth in every life to protect; women, children, and you.
This life is no different. His weekend nights are spent in a warehouse on the dark side of town. This time he wears a mask to hide his identity. The crowd knows him as Bes.
In every lifetime he has you. He sees you in his dreams, and he knows you see him in yours. He counts down the days until he can finally meet you again.
ONE: NOT ALWAYS PROUD OF WHAT YOU HAVE DONE.
Too many nights you spend working in this hell hole of a club. This place is located on the rougher side of town, and a seedy owner who works with very powerful men. The front looks like a normal bar, but through a pair of metal doors the darker and scandalous things unfold. On the stage there is a pole and girl who is dancing to the beat of a sultry song. You've found yourself up there too many times. It's been a couple months since you've stripped. Recently you've been working as a waitress. You're dressed just as scantilly as the girls who walk on that stage. Dressed in a tiny dress with no bra, and a pair of sky high heels.
With a tray in hand you're walking from table to table taking orders. Walking over to the bar you find your favorite bar tender Jeonghan.
"Table ten wants an old fashioned."
"Bunny, why are you here tonight?" Jeonghan is only one of two people you're close with here. He's been calling you Bunny since he met you. He says you're cute like a bunny.
"I'm working." He's asking you why you're here, because this is the ninth day you've been here in a row.
"Why aren't you taking any days off?" Jeonghan asks, as he's making the drink.
"I'm saving money so I can take a self defense class."
"Is Dae still threatening you?” Jeonghan knows all about you ex. Dae and you dated for two years, and broke up over eight months ago and since your break up, he has been harassing you. He's connected to the gangs that run this city and isn't someone to mess with. Over the last two months he's been basically stalking you.
"He won't leave me alone." Jeonghan sits the drink on the counter.
"Bunny, I know a guy. His name is Junhui. He's a fighter and if I tell him about Dae, I know he'll teach you to fight. He's got his own gym and everything."
"Okay." You know that Jeonghan wouldn't send you to a sketchy man, to teach you to fight.
The night goes on in a blur. You keep waiting tables, and you can't count the amount of men who have tried to touch you.
The doors swing open, and you see Dae and a few gang friends walk in. Immediately you feel sick. You glance over at the bar and see Jeonghan watching carefully.
Looking over by the stage you see your boss signaling you towards their table. You shake your head and try to walk away, attempting to rush backstage.
Someone grabs your hand, and immediately you know it's Dae. "Baby, why are you running away?"
Stopping dead in your tracks. You look at him, trying not to show any emotions. "Let go of me."
"If I let go, you'll run away, and we need to talk."
You groan, pulling your shoulder back attempting to get away. "I have nothing to say to you."
"Baby don't be like that."
"Let go of me." You seethe.
This isn't the first time he's shown up. He's just never been brave enough to touch you like this. When you were with him he definitely sucked and was an asshole. He was the definition of a shitty boyfriend, but he never laid a hand on you.
You pull forward quickly, before he drops your hand. You look up to see Mingyu, the body guard holding your ex. "You don't touch the girls, asshole." Mingyu pulls him back.
Dae throws his elbow back attempting to hit Mingyu. Except he doesn’t stand a chance at even moving the mountain that is Mingyu.
'Time to leave, buddy." You look behind him to see another bouncer kicking out Dae's friends.
"Baby, you can't avoid me. We will talk." Mingyu drags him out of the club. Shaking your head rush to the back. Your eyes brim with tears, you're overwhelmed and caught off guard.
The door to the back opens and Mingyu steps into the back. Reaching up you push away your tears. Mingyu silently watches you for a second before he holds open his arms. You don't say anything, you step into his arms. He holds you close and rubs your back.
Since you started working here you've grown close with Mingyu. The bouncer has become like a brother to you. He always goes out of his way to protect you.
"Bun, you should go home." He's picked up on using the same nicknames for you that Jeonghan uses.
"I need the money." You pull away from his hold.
"Jeonghan told me about his friend who is a fighter. I think you should talk to him."
"Okay."
-
The night comes to an end finally. You're sitting at the bar with Mingyu counting your money. Most the girls are in the back packing up, and some waitresses are heading home. You don't plan on leaving until Jeonghan and Mingyu can walk out with you. Jeonghan is working on cleaning up the bar. He doesn't have too much more to do before he's good to go.
"Bunny, Junhui has a fight tomorrow at the warehouse on twenty-third tomorrow night. Why don't you go with me tomorrow and you can meet him?"
"Okay." At this point you want to know how to protect yourself against Dae.
"Should you guys be going to an illegal fight night?" Mingyu asks, looking up from his phone.
It's probably not the best idea, but you're desperate. If Jeonghan thinks this Junhui guy can help you, you're willing to go meet him.
"I'll keep her safe." Jeonghan responses.
Mingyu sighs, and rolls his eyes. "Just call me, you guys need me. I have a date, but if things go south I can meet up with you guys."
TWO: THE MIDNIGHT MAN AND THE GIRL WHO HAUNTS HIS DREAMS
It's late at night when Jeonghan picks you up. He takes you to the sketchy part of town that's filled with warehouses.
Based on the amount of people hanging out outside smoking, the loud music that is pulsating all you would swear this is a night club.
Lacing his fingers with yours Jeonghan pulls you inside. You weave your way through the crowd where all the noise is coming from. Pushing your way through he brings you over to one of the corners for the fighters. A tall man dressed in very fashionable street wear greets Jeonghan.
"Minghao, this is my friend _____."
Minghao nods in your direction. "You're the one Bes is going to teach to fight?" You've never heard the name Bes before, you thought you were meeting up with someone named Junhui.
"Bes?"
"That's the only name he goes by here." Minghao responds.
"Oh."
"How is Chan doing?" You assume Chan is one of the boys in the middle of the empty space fighting.
"He's doing good, he's winning."
You watch as the smaller of the two men, seems to be winning. He’s getting a few good punches in. This warehouse is packed, the sounds of booming base music, and the loud cheers rattle your chest. Looking around you see a mix of people like you, struggling to get by and people who are dressed in high luxury brands.
Minghao pats Jeonghan on the back. “You should go see Bes before the fight.”
Jeonghan takes your hand leading you towards the back. Standing at the door you see a buff man in a suit blocking the back door.
“Hao told us Bes wants to see us.”
The bouncer glances passed both of you. Turning back, you see Minghao nod his head, the bouncer steps aside. The backroom is practically empty other than a couple folding chairs, and a few duffle bags. In the middle of the room you see a man wearing a face mask covering from below his eyes down. He’s clearly warming up. The other man is holding up gloves helping him practice.
“Soonyoung.” Jeonghan says releasing your hand.
Immediately the boys stop practicing. Soonyoung walks over and gives Jeonghan a hug. The man who was referred to as Bes stares at you silently. Slowly he tilts his head as if he’s studying you. Without thinking you step closer to him. There is something about him that you’re immediately drawn to. He doesn’t move, he’s locked in place watching you.
The door you walked through swings opens. Another man dressed in an expensive suit steps into the back.
“Bes, it’s your turn. Kick Parks ass. I have a lot of money riding on this fight.” The man shouts before walking out.
Jeonghan grabs your hand pulling you towards him. “We’ll meet you guys back here after the fight.”
The man behind the mask doesn’t say anything, he just watches as Jeonghan leads you back out the door.
Walking back into the warehouse things feel different. EDM music is booming through the speakers. Jeonghan leads you back over towards Minghao. You look to the other side of the ring to see a tall man with a similar build as Junhui. He’s covered in tattoos with dark hair.
The speaker crackles as someone shouts, “Bes!” The room instantly erupts. Soonyoung walks out next to Junhui, with the man in the suit flanking behind them. Junhui shirtless, wearing black cargo pants, and no shoes. Your eyes are instantly captivated by his beautiful body. He stops next to you and nods before walking to the center of the empty space.
Jeonghan never releases your hand as the fight starts. The bass is booming as they go blow for blow fighting. It’s clear that Junhui who everyone refers to as Bes is a very skilled fighter. The other fighter lands a solid kick on Junhui ribs, sending him shuffling back. Your eyes never leave him. He takes another step back gathering himself, before launching towards Park. With every single punch Junhui is getting the upper hand.
Park doesn’t give up though, he keeps giving Junhui firm kicks to the ribs. Junhui gets a strong kick to his jaw, sending Park down to the floor. The crowd erupts the moment he hits the concrete.
The same person that was dressed in the expensive suit walks into the middle and declares Bes the winner. Junhui dips his head, before walking back to back. The man in the suit hands Minghao a huge stack of money. Minghao gives him a curt nod, before him and Soonyoung follow Junhui to the back. Jeonghan squeezes your hand before dragging you off. Jeonghan locks the door as you step into the to room.
“Is it locked?” Minghao asked.
“Yeah.” Jeonghan says before releasing your hand.
Junhui takes off his face mask. He’s maybe ten feet from you. He takes a deep breath as he stares at you. For years you’ve had dreams of the man who is standing in front of you. Maybe it’s not him, but you feel like you know him.
“Jeonghan, who is this?” Junhui finally speaks.
“This is ___, she’s the girl who I mentioned.”
Reaching into his duffle bag, he pulls out a black hoodie. He pulls it on slowly, clearly sore from the fight. “You need to learn self defense right?”
“Yeah.” You finally speak.
“Why does she need to learn to fight?” Soonyoung asks.
Minghao seems like he’s barely paying attention. He’s more focused on counting the wad of money he was handed.
“My ex won't leave me alone."
“Fuck.” Minghao chimes in.
“The dude is an asshole. He won’t leave her alone at work now. Mingyu and I are trying to protect her, but we can’t always be there.” You’re scared of your ex, but at least you know at work and whenever you’re with them, they’ll keep you safe.
“I’ll teach you to fight.” He steps closer to you. “I’ll help keep you safe.” You don’t understand right now, but Junhui will do anything to protect you.
“I appreciate it.” He steps closer and instantly stops in his tracks.
“Jeonghan can give you my contact info.”
“Okay.”
THREE: A SPARK LIKE YOU’VE NEVER FELT BEFORE
The address Junhui gave you is a gym on the west side of town. It’s about a twenty minute walk from your place.
Standing outside the gym, you notice there are brick apartments above. Looking at the address again you realize that it’s for one of the apartments. You see a glass door. Walking over to it you pull it open. His building is nice, it definitely is newer than yours. Walking up the stairs you see the numbers and walk two doors to the left.
You aren’t quite sure why you’re nervous. You give the black painted wood door two firm knocks. You step back and wait. It only takes about thirty seconds before Minghao opens the door.
“Hello.” He gives you a small wave, before stepping aside.
You give him a polite nod. Stepping inside you look around. The apartment is an open concept for the kitchen and living area. There looks to be a small hallway where you assume the bedrooms are located. The walls are a mix of brick, and grey paint. The floor is a dark hard wood with a big green rug in the living area.
“Jun is in his room. Let me go grab him.” Minghao excuses himself, leaving you go awkwardly stand in the living room. You keep looking around, taking in the details of their shared space.
Looking over at the hallway you watch as both boys walk out. Minghao is now wearing a coat. He gives you another nod.
“I’m going to meet up with Chan and Soonyoung.” The front door clicks and suddenly you’re alone with the familiar man.
He’s dressed more casually today. He’s wearing a black tank top that hugs his toned body, and a pair of black joggers. His hair looks fluffy, almost as if his hair has been freshly washed.
“I feel like I should properly introduce myself.” You realize that at the warehouse he only really learned your name. “I’m ___, you can call me bunny if you want. Jeonghan and Mingyu call me that.”
He smiles at your cute nickname. “Bunny?”
“Yeah. It’s a long story, but the short version is, according to Jeonghan, I’m cute like a bunny.”
“I’m Junhui. My friend call me Jun, and you can as well. Whenever I’m fighting I go by Bes. If you ever watch me fight again, or you see me in a mask please just call me Bes.”
“Why Bes?”
“Bes is a god who is a protector. I’ve lived my life trying to protect women and children.” Something about him feels so safe. You don’t know him, but you feel as if you’ve always known him.
“I like that.”
He steps closer to you. “I’ll teach you to protect yourself, and I’ll protect you.”
“Thank you.”
“Let me take you to the gym downstairs. I own it with Hao.”
He leads you to the door. He slips on a pair of sneakers and grabs a set of keys from the bowl that’s sitting on a table by the door.
Neither of you say anything as you head downstairs. He walks up to the door and slowly opens it. Stepping inside you see some fighting equipment. It’s clear based on the fight you watched, and Junhui’s build that he's a trained fighter.
He leaves you standing on the padded mat to look around, walking over to the box and pulls out gloves. He walks back over to you. “Do you know how to fight?”
“I know how to punch someone.”
“Do you know how to defend yourself?”
“Not really.”
He hands you the gloves. “Put these on.”
You put them on with his help. He moves so you’re standing in the middle of the padded floor. Holding his bare hands up, he nods. “Alright, punch my hands.”
“Won’t that hurt you?”
“I take punches for a living. No offense you don’t hit as hard as the men I fight.”
You throw a punch at his left hand and then his right now.
“Good job, now do it again.”
For about two hours he trains you on fighting and defense. You’re absolutely exhausted, and sitting on the floor with your back against the wall. Junhui is sitting next to you. He holds out a bottle of water. You take a huge gulp of water.
“You did good.” He says.
“How are you still standing after fighting? I’m exhausted.” You lean your head back against the wall.
“I’ve trained for this for a long time.”
You take another big sip of the water. “What made you become an underground fighter?”
He pushes his fingers through his hair. “I’ve always been good at fighting. I realized early on when I would fight I would get this adrenaline rush. Fighting in that warehouse just became quick and easy money for me.”
“Oh.”
He grabs his own water and takes a big sip. “I feel like I should get to know you. Where do you work?”
“I work at the same club Jeonghan does.” Junhui has never been to a club, but what he has gathered from Soonyoung and Jeonghan it sounds like it's a club and a strip club. He’s not sure what your job is, but he doesn’t care if you’re a stripper.
“What do you do there?”
“I’m a waitress.”
“Where do you live?”
“Downtown, near the train station on seventh street.” Junhui knows exactly where that is. That isn’t the best part of town. He knows the rent is cheaper there. Soonyoung used to date a girl who lived a couple blocks from there. It’s about a twenty minute walk from the warehouse district.
“Do you walk to work?” He doesn’t like the idea of you walking home at night.
“Sometimes. Other times Jeonghan or Mingyu take me home.”
He pushes himself off the ground. “Maybe you shouldn’t be walking home if your ex is stalking you.”
“I know. It’s really rare for me to walk home.”
Junhui holds out his hand. You take it, and he pulls you up. “Call if you ever need a ride home. I’ll pick you up or Hao can.”
“You’re already doing too much for me, by helping me learn to fight.” You look down and realize he’s still holding your hand. Him holding your hand feels so natural.
“I promised you that I would keep you safe, and I meant that.” He releases your hand.
“I feel like I know you for some reason.” You knit your brows, you can’t fully explain what you’re feeling.
He doesn’t say anything, he just looks at you with an unreadable expression.
“Maybe we were meant to know each other.” He finally responds.
“Maybe.”
“Did you walk here?”
“Yeah.”
“Let me drive you home.”
FOUR: ALL THE MESSED I’VE MADE, LEAD ME BACK TO YOU
Over the last month and half you’ve been going to Junhui’s place by train three times a week. You’ve grown quite close to the masked fighter. You’ve even gone to a handful more of his fights. It's become clear that Junhui is the star fighter of that underground fight scene.
It's a day you're off and went to Junhui's gym for training. You've gotten quite good at boxing. Junhui is holding up his hand helping you hit moving targets. He's wearing a proud smile at how good you've gotten.
Junhui is standing by the wall drinking water while you fix your hair. Junhui can't help but be distracted sometimes at how beautiful he thinks you are.
You turn and give him a smile. "What are your plans this evening?"
"I don't have any. Minghao is out on a date so I think I'm home alone."
"Would you want to hang out and get dinner together?"
"Sure." You don't realize but Junhui will do anything you ask him to do.
You end up at a little hole in the wall bar that serves delicious Thai Food downtown that you love.
There is a cozy little booth by the back wall. You're each drinking a bottle of beer while sharing a couple plates of delicious food.
You notice how comfortable Junhui has grown around you. He's dishing himself some pad thai while listening to you tell a story about growing up.
"How long have you been at the club?" He asks.
"Five years. The money is really good there." You really hope he doesn't push for too much more information about the club.
"How long have you lived alone?"
"About two years. I used to live with a shitty ex."
"Was that shitty ex Dae or another one?"
"Another one. I have a bad track record with men." You don't know the last time you actually dated a decent guy. Your last three relationships started out good, before they both crashed and burned.
"You’re too good for those men." He says confidently.
"I wish I believed that." You used to be so confident, but since Dae and you broke up he's seemed to break your confidence.
"You're beautiful, kind, and compassionate. I think that makes you too good for most men." He picks up his beer and stares at it for a moment. "Any man you choose to give any of your time to, should feel lucky."
"I'm really glad Jeonghan introduced us." Junhui feels like he's the missing piece in life.
"I think I definitely owe him."
You both sit there enjoying your food. You hear someone yell your name. You look over at the pool table to see Dae and some of his gang friends.
You must look like you've seen a ghost. Junhui glances at you and quickly looks over at Dae who is walking towards you. Your hand that is sitting on the table instant clenches.
Junhui reaches out grabbing your hand. You relax it as he holds your hand. He squeezes it once, gaining your attention.
"There's my girl." Dae says walking up.
"I'm not your girl." You say firmly.
"Who is this guy?" Dae turns his attention to Junhui.
Junhui narrows his eyes at him. "None of your business."
"I think it's my business who my girl is seeing." Dae tilts his head.
"She's not your property and she sure as hell isn't your girl."
Dae barks out a laugh. "You're just her new toy. Soon she'll get bored with you, and come running back to me."
"Fuck you, Dae."
"We both know it's true, baby."
"I think you should leave her alone." Junhui releases your hand and stands up.
"Or what?" Dae says, shoving his finger into Junhui's chest.
You look behind your ex to see his friends are paying attention to what is unfolding. You stand up and grab Junhui's hand. You're scared of what will happen if you don't leave now.
"Let's go." You tug on his hand.
"What's wrong lover boy are you going to let her boss you around."
"I think it’s for the best that I leave. Just know if you lay another finger on her, I will end you."
Junhui squeezes your hand as he leads you out of the bar. Neither of you say anything as he leads you back to his car.
He unlocks the door and helps you into your side. He gets in and silently starts driving. Your chest aches, realizing your ex possibly ruined everything you could have been building with Junhui.
You expect him to drive you back home, but are surprised when he takes you to his place.
"What's going on?" You finally ask.
"I don't want you home alone in an apartment where Dae can find you."
Heading upstairs to his place he walks up slowly behind you, almost as if he's protecting you.
Once inside you notice how quiet the place is. Minghao must still be out for the night.
"Let's head to my room."
You follow him down the small hallway. He opens the door and you both head inside. His room is cream colored with dark hardwood floors. His bed is a queen with dark grey sheets and a cream comforter. The floor is partially covered by a grey rug. There is a door that sits against the same wall as his bed. That leads to the ensuite bathroom.
"You can sleep in here tonight and I'll sleep in the living room."
You hate the idea of him giving up his bed to you. "We can share the bed. I don't mind."
"Are you sure?"
"Yeah."
"Would you like to shower before we go to bed?"
"Please."
He shows you how to use the shower and tells you all his products in the shower can be used.
"I'll find you some clothes to sleep in."
"I'll close the curtain so you can just bring them in if you don't mind."
"Okay."
He leaves you alone in the bathroom. Pulling back the curtain and the sliding glass door you turn on the water giving it a moment to warm up. Stripping away your clothes, you try to fold them up neatly.
Stepping into the hot water you instantly start to relax. You just stand there letting the warm water washes the stress your ex caused.
The door opens and it takes everything in you not to peek through the curtain to him. "I got you a pair of shorts that are pretty comfortable and a baggy shirt."
"Thank you."
"I'll be on the other side of the door if you need me."
The door clicks shut signaling you're alone again. Looking on the corner shelf you find shampoo and conditioner. You're happy to see Junhui doesn't use two in one like some men. It looks like he has nice moisturizing shampoo and conditioner.
You take your time washing your hair, before using his citrus scented body wash. He always smells so fresh and clean and now you know why.
After you finish showering you work on fully drying yourself off and taming your hair.
Walking into his bedroom you find him laying on the top of the comforter in just a pair of sweat shorts. You already have a crush on him and the thought of him laying in bed with you, looking like that is enough to make you go crazy.
Crawling into bed you lay there staring at the ceiling. "Thank you for keeping me safe." You glance over at him.
"I promised you that I would protect you."
"I appreciate it. It's been really nice having you in my life."
"I'm glad we met." He says as he starts to crawl under the covers.
"Maybe we should get some sleep."
Closing your eyes you try to sleep. Anytime you get close to falling asleep, you keep having visions of the man lying next to you. Your dreams of him almost feel like déjà vu.
Your eyes slowly open. Laying on your side you stare at him. Since meeting Junhui you can't help but feel like your life is changing for the better. The problem is, you're terrified he's going to grow tired of you and all your baggage. What if he doesn’t like the sides of you that you desperately try to keep hidden?
His eyes flutter open. "What are you looking at?"
"You."
He reaches out, setting his hand right next to yours. The room feels incredibly small. It's taking everything not to reach out and touch him.
"Are you tired?" He asks.
"Yeah."
"You should get some sleep." He laces his fingers with yours. "Sweet dreams, bunny."
FIVE: KISS IT BETTER
Over the last week you find yourself constantly with Junhui if you aren't working. He's become a very important fixture in your life. Jeonghan and Mingyu have even started teasing you at work, about your crush on him. You don't even bother lying to yourself anymore. You're well aware you've fallen for the masked fighter.
The tension between the two of you is starting to be too much. Your days spent at his gym leave your yearning for the smallest touches. It's been too long since you've been intimate with someone, and the fact that you like him so much isn't helping. You feel touch starved. You would do anything just to hold his hand again.
It's another rainy day and you find yourself in Junhui's empty gym with him. Instead of boxing like you normally do, he's teaching you how to get out of a submission hold.
He’s hovering over you, with your hands pinned to the floor next to your head. You didn't make it easy on him trying to pin you down. You shift slightly trying to pull away.
"You can get out of this." He pushes your hands back down. Lifting your hips, you try to knock him off you. He shakes his head. "I'm not going to make it easy."
You know you have one chance if you can throw your leg hard enough to knock you both over. You take a deep breath before throwing your leg.
Jun releases you, tumbling off you. Pushing yourself off the ground, you make quick work of crawling on top of him. You sit on his lap. There is absolutely no way you can keep him pinned down, but you wanted to prove to him, you could get out of his hold.
Grabbing his hands you pin them next to his head, just like he did to you. He looks up at you giving you a wicked grin.
"That's impressive."
You release his hands knowing he'll pin you again to prove a point if you don't wave the white flag.
One of your hands rests over his chest. You can feel his heart beating below. He lifts his head slightly.
"Do you like the view?" You give him a smile.
"The view is great."
You lean down slightly. God, up close like this he's so damn beautiful. He pushes himself up so you're still sitting on his lap but his face is close to yours.
Silently he pushes your hair out of your face. His hand rests on your cheek. "You're so pretty. The view from here is even better."
Leaning in close you test the water. Resting your nose against his. Your lips part as you take a deep breath.
"I'm going to kiss you." He whispers.
The moment your lips touch for the first time, you feel alive. Kissing him is everything you've dreamed of. One of his hands stays on your cheek while the other rests on your hip, holding you close to him.
Pulling back you can't help but smile. "That was nice."
He gives you the cutest crooked smile. Leaning back in you crash your lips into his. One of his hands roams your back. Your lips move together in perfect sync. He runs his tongue across the seam of your lips. Opening your mouth he slides his tongues against yours.
His hand rests on your butt, squeezing it he pulls your body closer to his. You're making out on the floor of his gym, like a couple of horny teenagers.
Tangling your fingers in his hair you hold him close to you.
"I like you." You whisper against his lips.
"Fuck—" He moans.
You have no concept of time as you kiss him like your life depends on it. It could be five minutes or even an eternity.
Pulling away you both need a minute to catch your breath. He rests his large hand on your cheek. He drags his thumb across your bottom lip.
"Where have you been all my life?" You sigh.
"Waiting for you."
SIX: LITTLE SECRETS YOU CANT TELL
You hate nights like this when neither Jeonghan or Mingyu are at work with you. Your rent is due, and the only way to avoid being absolutely broke for a few weeks, is getting up on stage. Normally it would be fine if you knew the boys were here as a safety net.
Just knowing you’re alone always leaves you feeling unsettled.
Looking in the mirror you work on reapplying the makeup you caked on when you know you're going on stage. A couple of the dancers sitting on the other side of the mirror are talking about some work gossip. Since you started dancing here you try your hardest to stay out of drama. You have enough going on in your life. The last thing you need is for people at work to be involved in your life.
This is the final half hour of your night. You just need to do one more dance and you're able to go home, with plenty of money.
"____ you're up next." The DJ pops into the back and shouts.
You walk out to the stage. You take a slow deep breath as the music starts to play. The guitar intro to "Kiss It Better" by Rhianna plays you in.
Walking on the stage the bright lights are blinding. You hand grips the pole as you spin around.
As the song goes on you start shedding what little clothes you're wearing. The song comes to a close and you're left standing on stage fully naked. Walking off stage in your sky high heels you wrap a robe around you tightly.
You walk into the back room and immediately grab your toiletry bag. You head into the wash room and work on washing away the stage make up that's caked onto your face. You have no problem with Junhui seeing you barefaced, but you don't want to see him in full stage makeup.
Heading back to your locker you're greeted by one of the managers handing you your tips from the last dance. You pull out some for the djs and bartender and then shove it into the pouch you keep in your bag.
"Are you heading out?" Your manager asks.
"Yeah."
"Have a good night."
Reaching into your back you pull out a pair of joggers and sweater. You get dressed in your warm and cozy clothes quickly. Grabbing your phone from your bag you see a text from Junhui. It reads "be outside in five minutes."
You gather your purse and make sure you have your money bag. You shove the rest of your dancing stuff in your locker. You make your way quickly through the club hoping to get to Junhui.
Walking outside into the cool night air you see him parked close to the entrance. You jog to his car and quickly get in.
Sitting your bag on the floorboard you turn and give him a smile. "Thank you for picking me up."
"How was work?" He asks. Your stomach twists in knots. You hate talking about your job. You don't want to lie to him, but you can't bring yourself to tell him that tonight was one of those nights you took your clothes off on stage.
"Fine." You know you probably sound short with your answer but you can't help it.
"What happened?" He raises his brow, clearly confused by your tone.
"It's just work."
"Did you want to talk about it?"
"Can we please not?" You can't do this tonight. You aren't ready for things to blow up between you.
"We don't have to talk about it." He leans over and presses his lips to your cheek for a gentle kiss.
"I know it's late, but did you want to stay at my place tonight? The guys are over hanging out and they asked if you would join us." This isn't the first time he's asked you to stay over since your first kiss. You've stayed over enough that Junhui has gotten toiletries of things you use in his bathroom. Your sleepovers are quite innocent outside of some kissing. You both just like the intimacy of sharing a bed and cuddling.
In the process of getting close to Junhui, you've also grown close with his three best friends.
"Is there possibly food there? I'm starving."
He holds his hand out. Without thinking twice you lace your fingers with his. He lifts his hand and kisses the top of your hand.
"Chan brought pizza over."
"Perfect."
The drive to Junhui's place isn't too long. He parks and turns the car off. He doesn't move to get out and neither do you. He turns towards you and gives you a look. You unbuckle your seatbelt and practically launch yourself at him. You move so you're sitting on his lap, with the steering wheel against your back. Your fingers are tangled in his hair as your lips move together. Since your first kiss you shared at the gym, it's not uncommon for you and him to make out like a couple of horny teenagers. His hands roam your back. His hand dips below the back of your sweats. His finger toy with the back of your thong because he grabs the fleshy cheek of your ass. You realize he's definitely an ass man. Whenever you're on top of him he's constantly grabbing your butt.
"Fuck—" he moans against your lips. "I'm going to get hard if we don't stop."
"Is that a problem?" You tease him, pulling back.
"Yeah. Our first time shouldn't be in my car. We should take things slower." You've never had a man want to take things slow like this. But you have no problem waiting. You know when you finally have sex it will be intense, just like everything is with him.
After your intense makeout session in the car you find yourself in the living room of Junhui and Minghao's apartment. It's two in the morning but none of the guys seem to be tired. Soonyoung is sitting on the floor next to Chan. They have been talking about some huge fight with some man named Johnny.
"Dude, Johnny is in Sung's gang. Last time I checked Sung is still pissed he lost money when you beat him." Soonyoung says. If you remember correctly, Sung was the first man you saw Junhui fight.
"Is fighting Johnny a good idea?" Minghao asks.
"No." Chan chimes in.
"The money would be crazy though." Soonyoung responds.
Junhui isn't saying anything. He's just silently sitting on the couch next to you.
"Jun you don't have to do it." Minghao says.
"If I don't fight him, Sung is just going to be more pissed."
"Dude Johnny is huge. He knocked out Bronx and broke his arm." Chan says.
Everything they're all saying is making you extremely uneasy. You look over at Junhui, unable really read his emotions.
"What is the payout?" Junhui asks.
"Double the Sung fight." Minghao says.
"I'll do it." The moment he agrees you suddenly want to cry. You push yourself off the couch.
You don't say anything as you walk off to Junhui's room. You don't want to make a scene begging him not to fight. You clearly have something going on with Junhui but you definitely aren't his girlfriend.
You head off to the bathroom to brush your teeth and to start getting ready for bed. You go about your business brushing your teeth and changing into the oversized shirt and shorts Junhui keeps in the top drawer for you.
You walk out of the bathroom and find Junhui sitting on the bed waiting for you.
"You're clearly upset."
You stop in front of him and stand between his spread legs. "I'm worried."
"I can count on one hand how many fights I've lost." He rests his hand on your thigh.
"If you're going to do this fight I want to be there."
He shakes his head, leaning back away from you. "It could get ugly, and I don't want you to see it."
Closing your eyes you take a deep. How could you possibly explain to him that you care so much about him that you'll be worried sick about him?
"I need to be there. I can't just go to work or sit at home and pretend everything is okay." You crawl on to his lap. "I'm begging you, please."
Reaching up he holds your face with both hands. "You need to bring Jeonghan or Mingyu with you."
He leans up, pressing his lips to yours. You don't realize but he cares about you so much, that he can't stand the idea of you being upset with him.
"You can go back out with the boys if you want." You feel guilty he left his friends because you got upset.
"They're just drinking and hanging out. I don't want to do that. I want to lay in bed and hold you."
Crawling off of him, you shimmy out of your shorts you're wearing. You're standing there in just a little thong and an oversized shirt.
"I think you're trying to make me hard." He groans laying down flat.
"It's more comfortable to sleep this way." You flash him a faux innocent smile.
He lets out a heavy sigh before sitting up. "Should I sleep naked?"
"I would prefer you did." You tease him crawling into the side of your bed you find yourself always sleeping on.
He heads off to the bathroom leaving you alone for about five minutes. He comes back dressed only in a pair of tight boxer-briefs that leave little to the imagination.
He crawls into bed next to you. Reaching over he turns off the light. He pulls you close to him. Your head is resting on this chest and he has your leg pulled on top of his stomach. You're as physically close as you can be.
You never feel as relaxed as you are in his arms. It doesn't take long until you're sound asleep curled up against him.
SEVEN: EVERYTHING WAS MIDNIGHT RAIN
It’s hard to watch the fight unfolding in front of you. Jeonghan holds your hand tightly. Johnny is bigger than Junhui and his hits are landing hard. He throws a head right hook to Junhui's jaw. He stumbles back, spitting out blood.
Squeezing your eyes shut, you can’t watch this. The crowd erupts screaming. Opening your eyes just a little you see Johnny on the floor. Junhui is on top of him throwing punches.
Johnny gets a firm kick in, getting Junhui off of him. Junhui stumbles back. Johnny is throwing punches, and kicks nonstop. Junhui is able to block most of them. Johnny gets another firm hit in, splitting open Junhui eyebrow.
Burying yourself into Jeonghan’s side, you squeeze your eyes shut. You care about the man in the mask too much to watch him get this hurt.
“Keep your eyes closed.” Jeonghan says.
You try to block out everything. The cheers get louder, and you hear the noises both the fighters are making. The crowd groans and suddenly erupts.
Pulling away from Jeonghan slowly you find Johnny knocked out on the concrete and Junhui standing tall. Blood is dripping from his eyebrow down his face. Lifting his hand he wipes away the blood. His eyes stay locked on yours.
Your chest aches staring at him. He’s staring at you in the room filled to the brim with people cheering, like it's only you two. The vice grip on your heart, leaves you stuck standing there.
Hao and Soonyoung rush over to Junhui. Soonyoung is working on checking on him while the man running the show hands Minghao a duffel bag. Junhui and the boys walk towards the back. The moment they’re close to you and Jeonghan, Junhui grabs your hand. Lacing his fingers with yours, he squeezes your hand.
Once in the back, Jeonghan locks the door. Junhui takes off his mask. You instantly notice his lip is busted open. You want to work on cleaning him up, but before you can, he wraps his arms around you, pulling you into a tight hug.
You can feel the eyes of the other three boys burning into you. Closing your eyes, you lean into him. Wrapping your arms around him tightly. You don’t ever want to see him in another fight like that.
“I’m sorry, you had to see that.” He says just loud enough for you to hear.
“I can’t see you get hurt like that again.” Tears brim your eyes. You can’t help but cry. Sniffling back tears, you try to keep yourself together.
He pulls away slowly. He stares at you for a short second. Reaching up he rests his hand on your cheek. His thumb drags across your cheek, pushing away your tears.
“I should get looked at.”
Stepping back, you nod. “Yea. Soonyoung needs to clean up your wounds and doctor you.”
Junhui slowly walks over towards the boy. You stand locked in the same place Junhui left you. Jeonghan walks in over to you. Your eyes are locked on the man you’ve grown to care for, as his friends are inspecting his injuries.
Jeonghan stands next to you. He nudges your side, catching your “Do you love him?” He asks, just loud enough for you to hear.
“I think so. I think there is something in the universe that pulled us to each other. Before him, there was a part of me that always felt like it was missing. He makes me feel whole.”
“It seems like he loves you.”
“I’m bad luck, and I’m so scared he's going to get hurt because of me.”
“He won’t get hurt because of you. Let him protect you, and take care of you.” Jeonghan nudges your side again.
You finally look away from Junhui. “What if he doesn’t like who I am? What if he finds out about my job, and it’s too much for him?” Everything you’ve done at work that you’re not proud of, was so you could survive. You never planned on taking your clothes off for money, but sometimes you have to so you can survive.
“He’s not going to judge you. I know him, he’s a really good guy and he cares about you. He’s not going to care that you strip every so often.”
Junhui slowly stands up. Minghao hands him another mask. As soon as you all walk out of the back door, you don’t want people to fully see his face.
He puts on the mask and glances over at you. He walks over to you and laces his fingers with yours. Being close to him feels natural.
Walking out of the crowded warehouse. Soonyoung helps clear a path. Stopping at the entrance you see it’s now raining.
“Can I come to your place, to take care of you?” You don’t want to be alone tonight. You’re just going to stay awake all night worrying about him.
“Yeah of course.”
Jeonghan and Soonyoung say goodnight, before running to their cars. Junhui leads you through the rain towards Minghao’s car.
The ride to the boy’s apartment wasn’t too long. Minghao walks behind as Junhui slowly makes his way upstairs. Once inside, Junhui heads off to his room. Before you can follow, Minghao grabs your wrist stopping you.
“Hey?”
“Yeah?”
“He doesn’t do this with other women. I know you seem kind of guarded, and I want you to know he’s not some player or something. He’s pretty guarded himself, and only let you in because he cares about you.”
“I care about him too.”
“I know.” Minghao releases your wrist. “Take care of him tonight.”
“I will.”
You head off towards Junhui’s room. Slowly pushing the door open. He’s nowhere to be seen. You look by his hamper and find his clothes he was just wearing. The door that leads to the bathroom is cracked, and you can hear the water running.
Pushing the door open you see the curtain is pulled shut. “Jun?”
“Yeah, bunny?”
“Are you okay?”
“Yeah, you can join me if you would like.”
Walking in you shut the door fully. Without even thinking you start stripping away your clothes. Being naked in front of people isn't anything new for you, but the idea of him seeing you naked for the first time feels intimate.
Pulling back the curtain, you slide the door open. You step into the shower carefully. Your eyes instantly lock onto his beautiful body that is drenched. His ribs are already painted with water colored bruises, blooming on his skin. His lip is slowly healing. He turns around letting the water rinse away his shampoo.
You could spend hours admiring all the details of his beautiful body. Your eyes can’t help but wander down to his large cock, which is resting between his legs.
“You’re beautiful.” You say.
He gives you a gentle smile. “You’re breathtaking.”
He steps out from the water and holds his hand out. You reach out, taking his hand. Stepping under the hot water, your body instantly starts to relax.
“You know we’ve only ever kissed and now I’m naked in the shower with you.” You try to make light of the situation.
“I’m sorry.” He leans in close, while the water is pouring down on both of you.
“Don’t be sorry.” You want anything and everything this man will possibly give you.
His large hand rests on your cheek. He leans in even closer so his nose is bumping yours. His lips just barely brush yours as he takes a deep breath. Your lips part, as you’re dying to say something. Silent pleads sit on your tongue.
“Jun—“
“Let me take a moment to enjoy this.”
“Kiss me or I might drop dead.”
The softest laugh passes his lips. Everything melts away as his lips crash into yours. Your fingers tangle in his wet hair, holding him close to you.
He pulls back slightly, just giving you each a moment to breathe.
“Are you hurting?” You know he’s in pain after that terrible fight.
“A little but, I want to be close to you. I want to kiss you, just like I do in every lifetime.”
“Lifetime?” You have no clue what he’s talking about.
“I was made in every lifetime for you.” He rambles before crashing his lips into yours again.
He moves your both, so your back is pressed up against the cold white tile. Your lips move together like you need each other to breathe. Junhui is the air in your oxygen deprived lungs. He moves from kissing your lips, across your jaw, and down your delicate neck.
Echoing moans pass your lips as he finds the sensitive spot on the side of your neck. “Jun—“
He kisses the tops of each of your breasts. Mindlessly reach between your two bodies. You find his hardening cock against your stomach.
“Can I?” You ask.
“Please.”
His lips travel back to yours. The way your lips move together is intoxicating. You focus on pumping his length at a steady pace. He groans into mouth as you continue to kiss. One of his hands is on your breast, squeezing it. His thumb teases your nipple, reaching moans from you.
“Fuck—“ he whispers against your lips.
“You feel good.” You whisper.
“I’m going to cum.” You take this as your sign to pick up the pace.
His nose rests against yours. His lips part, and soft moans and groans pour out. His breathing is heavy, and his eyes closed.
“Fuck—“ He paints your hand and stomach with his milky white release.
You pull back and smile at the sight of him. He looks heavenly in his post orgasmic bliss.
You step back under the water rinsing off your hand and stomach. Junhui moves so he’s leaning against the wall. His eyes slowly open, he looks at you in a haze.
“Baby, come here.” He reaches for you. “Let me take care of you.”
“Later, right now I’m taking care of you.”
He steps back towards the water again. He presses his lips to yours for a gentle kiss. “I can make you cum.”
“You don’t need to. Let’s finish up and go to bed.”
Getting out of the shower you both take your time drying off. Neither of you bother putting on clothes. You crawl into his bed. You’re laying on your side with Junhui curled up behind you, holding you close. Nothing is said as he presses kisses to your bare shoulder.
“Jun?”
“Yeah, baby?” You love when he calls you baby.
“What do you mean, you were made for me in every lifetime?” You aren’t sure if he was just rambling on if what he said actually meant something.
“You’re going to think I’m crazy.”
“Jun, I feel things for you I can’t explain. I don’t think you’ll say anything I think is crazy.”
“I’ve lived so many lifetimes , they all just feel like recurring dreams.” He pauses for a moment. “But in every single lifetime, I have you. We’ve had many different names, but in every single one we look the same. I find you in every single one of those lives, and I always love you. In every life I protect, I'm the protector Bes, and in every lifetime I protect you.” You should run away and tell him he’s crazy, but you know deep down this is true. You’ve had dreams of him, long before you met him. You know deep down inside you’ve lived many life times together.
“I believe you.”
He presses a kiss to the back of your neck. “That’s why we’re drawn to each other.”
“It makes sense.” You let out a yawn. It’s been a long day and you can barely hold your eyes open.
“Let’s get some sleep.” He says softly.
It doesn’t take long before you both fall asleep curled up with the echoing sounds of the rain outside.
EIGHT: ALL THE PAIN AND FEAR
Nights like this are the worst. You went into work telling yourself you would just work as a waitress. That the tips and pay from that alone would get you in the clear for a few weeks. You didn't expect your boss to ask if you wanted to get on stage.
Sitting in the back Jeonghan comes over and sits down next to you. He places soda down in front of you.
Glancing up at him, you find him giving you a sympathetic smile.
"You don't have to get up there if you don't want to."
"I know. I'm worried about what Jun will think." Before him you didn't really worry about what someone would think about you getting on that stage.
"I promise you, he won't care."
"What if he looks at me differently?" You grab the lemon lime soda he placed in front of you.
"Neither me or Mingyu looked at you differently when you started doing it. Jun won't care. You just need to be honest with him."
A heavy sigh passes your lips. You bring the ice cold glass to your lips and take a drink or the crisp soda.
"If you don't want to do it, you can always say no. Woojin is an asshole but I doubt he would make you get on stage if you don't want to."
Jeonghan stands up and pats your back. "Whatever you want to do I support you."
You finish drinking your soda and decide you're just going to do it. You've never felt shameful for being a stripper and you know deep down inside Junhui won't care.
One dance that's all you'll do, and then you'll be a waitress the rest of the night.
Heading off to the room the dancer get ready in, you go to your locker where you store things for nights like tonight.
You're dressed in a tiny white lace set that leaves little to the imagination. Putting on your heels you go over to the DJ and let him know what song you want him to play.
Standing on the side stage you take slow deep breaths trying to calm down. The beat to the song "Do I Wanna Know" by the Arctic Monkeys starts to play. The DJ says your stage name as you walk onto the stage.
Being on stage feels like a blur. Leaning against the cold pole you sway your body to the beat of the music. Reaching for the front clasps on your bra, you disconnect it and let the white lace fall to the floor.
Looking around you just see the bright light and the money hitting the stage.
Grabbing the pole, you walk around it just dressed in your tiny white thong. Stepping out of it, you leave yourself standing there fully naked. You dance around a little as the song comes to a close. Walking off the stage you grab a robe that you left on the hook.
Tying the robe up you walk back to the dancers room. You don't want to sit back here and think about what just happened. You just quickly put on a tiny white dress, not bothering to wear a bra and another thong. You know you could make more money in tips if you're dressed like this. You switch to a pair of chunk white boots that have a heel and a platform that are comfortable.
Walking back onto the floor you let your manager know you're going to wait tables. You see your first table and head over to the bar where Jeonghan is.
"How are you feeling?" He asks as he starts making your drinks for table seven.
"Fine. I just made my rent on stage."
"You don't sound fine." He responds as he cleans a glass.
"Jun is fighting tonight and I'm always on edge when I'm not there to make sure he's safe."
"That's understandable. Did you want me to drop you off at Jun's tonight?" He sets the glass down on the counter.
"Yes please."
You go back to taking drink orders and waiting tables. You've got maybe two hours left at work and instead of fully waiting tables, you're running out drinks for Jeonghan.
You're on the far side of the club, out of view of Jeonghan or Mingyu. You've just brought a large tray of shots to a group of men dressed in suits.
Turning around you feel sick instantly. Dae locks eyes on you immediately. He finds you walking around near the stage. You look around hoping Mingyu will show up. Jeonghan has a swarm of people at the bar, so he definitely can't see you.
"Leave me alone." You say firmly as he approaches.
"Baby, don't be like that." He walks up.
Holding your arm out you keep a distance from him. "I'm just trying to talk to you without your little masked fighter being your body guard."
You take a big step back. "Leave!"
"Why won't you talk to me anymore?" He takes another step closer.
"We're broken up. We have been for eight months. Just leave me alone."
He barks out a laugh. "Does your little fighter Bes know about you getting up on that stage?"
You don't respond, you just stare at him.
"I'm shocked you're here and not watching your new man's fight tonight. I heard Sung wants revenge." You've heard Minghao and Soonyoung talk about Sung. He's the first guy you ever saw Junhui fight. He's a big strong guy with ties to Dae's gang.
"Shut up."
"I wonder if Sung and everyone else knows that your sweet Junhui is good at fighting." The moment he mentions Junhui’s name, ice runs through your veins.
Without thinking you shove him away from you. "Shut the fuck up, you don't know what you're talking about."
He lets out another laugh. "Oh it seems I've hit a nerve."
Before anything else can be said Jeonghan and Mingyu are here. Mingyu grips the back of Dae's shirt, pulling him away from you.
"What your little fighter can't help you, you still need Jeonghan and this goon." He pushes his elbow back towards Mingyu.
Jeonghan pulls you back a little. Dae rolls his eyes and laughs. "I think your boy Junhui should be worried that you're fucking Jeonghan." You and Jeonghan have never done anything sexual together. Dae has always and will always be jealous of your friendship with him.
Mingyu tightens his grip pulling him back more. "Dude, shut the fuck up. You have no clue what you're talking about."
"I hope you said goodbye to your man before you came to work."
"What?"
"Turns out Sung and the boys brought a gun to the fight. It looks like no one is a fan of the masked fighter, Bes." Your stomach instantly drops.
Dae lifts his wrist looking at the time. "I would say things have probably already kicked off. Maybe if you leave now you can say goodbye."
Bile crawls up your throat. The room feels like it's spinning. Stepping forward you slap Dae.
"Good luck, baby." He laughs.
Mingyu pulls him into a chokehold pulling him back.
Without thinking Jeonghan grabs your hand. He drags you through the crowded club. He stops at the bar where your manager Woojin is. He says you're having an emergency. Hand in hand you sprint out of the club together. The concrete is wet from the rain that just ended.
Jeonghan drags you to his car. You both hop in and he drives, breaking too many laws, to get you to the warehouse quickly.
Parking, you hop out and see chaos is already unfolding. Jeonghan looks around frantically.
The sound of the gun shot ringing out echoed outside.
"Fuck." Jeonghan says.
Immediately people start sprinting outside. Another gun shot rings out. Then everything suddenly starts happening too quickly. Jeonghan runs towards the door and luckily sees no one has been shot.
You see Minghao looking terrified with blood on his hands. You sprint towards him.
"What happened?"
With wild eyes Minghao grabs your shoulder. "One of Sung's guys shot Chan."
"How bad is it?"
"It grazed him."
Another group of people rush out. You look inside to see Junhui has Sung pinned to the ground with Soonyoung helping. Jeonghan rushes inside to help Chan.
You follow Minghao inside, you desperately want to get to Junhui.
"Oh my god." Your voice immediately catches Junhui's attention.
You look at Sung and see he's definitely been knocked unconscious. Junhui jumps up and pulls you into his chest. He wants to kiss you so bad, but you both know he needs to keep his mask on.
"We need to get Chan out of here." Jeonghan says.
Chan lets out a groan as Jeonghan and Minghao help him stand up.
Soonyoung stands up and follows behind everyone as you head outside. The boys take Chan towards Jeonghan's car that's parked in the alley behind the warehouse.
Junhui stops and pulls you into another hug. When the first gun shot rang out he was terrified he would never see you again.
You walk towards the alley with him holding your hand. As you get to the entrance you see an expensive looking mustang driving toward you.
Everything moves in slow motion as the head lights get closer and closer.
Junhui moves your body like a force of nature. He shoves you hard and quick, getting you out of the way of the car bearing towards you. You hit the concrete wall with a thud.
He throws himself the other way attempting to save himself. You're just far enough away from the boys that they can't see what is happening.
Everything aches as you hit the hard concrete. Closing your eyes, you feel disoriented.
The car speeds off after clearly missing their target.
“Baby,” he shouts, pushing himself off the cold concrete. His attempts to save you from the car, left him on the cold hard ground. His heart sinks, seeing you laying on the wet asphalt. God he hopes he didn't hurt you, trying to save you.
Frantically he runs to you, praying to any god that you're okay. Being thrown against the wall, left your ears ringing. You held your ears feeling dazed. Slowly you sit up groaning in pain from the impact. He pulls up to your feet and presses you against the brick wall, his hands reached up to hold your face. His eyes are wild as he studies you.
Opening your mouth to speak nothing comes out as you stare at him. His breathing is rough just like yours. The car that tried to hit you, is long gone. You know exactly why they tried to run you off the road.
He releases your face, leaning forward to rest his forehead against yours. He's still wearing his gear from the fight. His face is still partially covered by his mask.
Glove covered hands roam your soft body. No one’s touch had ever felt quite like this. It wasn’t soft by any means but it was sensual without trying. With your body pressed against the cold brick wall you mind drifts to places it shouldn’t go. Junhui has never touched you like this. He's touching you as if he's trying to make sure you're real.
All that could be heard was heavy breathing between the two of you and the sound of passing cars below.
Your breathing is shallow as you’re focused on Junhui’s eyes.
You're in an alley in the dark side of the city. You had left work in a hurry dressed in nothing but a tiny dress and he was in his outfit he fought in.
It felt wrong because of what had just happened, but you had never been so turned on in your life.
“Jun—,” as you went to speak, he places his hand over mouth, silencing you.
Leaning forward with his lips brushing your ear he whispers, "you can’t say my name out loud right now.”
Slowly he removes his hand.“Okay.”
“Are you okay,” his hands went from your mouth to gently gliding down your throat.
“I’m fine. Maybe a little bruised up,” reaching out you rest your hand on his chest.
“Your pulse is racing,” he rasps.
“I’m on edge.” You're absolutely rattled, after someone clearly tried to kill you, by running you over.
“We need to get you back to my place,” he reaches down and takes your hand.
“What about my place?” Your apartment is way closer and you don't know if you could make it to his place.
“We can go there,” his hand rests in the crook of your neck.
Holding your hand he leads you into the alley where the boys are standing by their cars looking at Chan's wound. It looks like the bullet grazed his arm. They had no clue what just happened.
"We need to go to the hospital." Soonyoung says.
"You guys take Chan, I'm going to take the car and get bunny home safe."
Jeonghan puts his hand on his shoulder. "Please take care of her."
NINE: I BEG FOR YOU, AND EVERYTHING WE COULD BE
You're about ten minutes away from your apartment. He parks his car and leans over and presses his lips to your cheek for a soft kiss.
"In case Dae has people waiting for you outside, maybe we should take the fire escape."
"Good idea."
Arriving at the bottom of your apartment where the fire escape is, leads up to your second story apartment. You climb up the ladder well aware you're barely covered by your dress and tiny thong you're wearing underneath it. You left work in a rush and didn't have time to change into anything else. You're basically in nothing but a skin tight dress that leaves very little to the imagination. Luckily Junhui is a gentleman and wouldn't intentionally try to get an eyeful as you climbed up the ladder.
Climbing through the window into your apartment you help Junhui crawl in behind you. You shut the window quickly and lock it. You proceed to pull the blinds closed and turn to Junhui who's standing by your couch taking deep breaths.
“Are you okay?” You asks, walking towards him quickly.
He reaches up and slowly removed his mask. His black eye already coming in and his cheek is split.
Wide eyes lock on him as he works on taking his outfit off slowly. Low groans pass his lips as he works to strip away his clothes. He had taken quite a beating, tonight was clearly a set up. Sung had every intention of killing Junhui and taking you out after. Dae clearly knew what to say to get you to rush to Junhui. His hands grips the back of the couch as he walks around to sit down.
“I’m going to get my first aid kit.” You say.
The gash on his chest is pretty deep and you know you need to clean it. You hurry off to your bathroom and grab the first aid kit that's under the sink. Walking back into the living room you remove your shoes and walk over, sitting on the couch next to Junhui. His eyes are closed as he takes deep breaths.
“I thought you were dead,” you whisper.
“You don’t have to worry about me." He groans.
“It’s a little hard when I hear that you’ve been shot at the warehouse.”
With a peroxide cover cotton ball you gently cleaned the gash on his chest. His eyes are still closed tight as he groans. Gently you clean his wound, you're trying your hardest to make sure you don't hurt him anymore then he already is.
“Thank you for saving me,” you whisper, pulling away the cotton pad from his skin.
His black eyes open and a crooked smile formed on his beautiful face, “I don’t think you realize I will literally do anything to keep you safe.”
You go to move your hand away, and he reaches out, grabbing your wrist. His thumb gently rubs the underside, where your skin is more sensitive. Your eyes stay locked on him, as he touches you gently. You want to tell Junhui how much he means to you, but your brain doesn't seem to know what to say. Reaching up he takes the blood soaked cotton pad from your hand and placed it on top of the coffee table. He releases your wrist. He reaches down and places his hands on your soft hips. He moves your body as if you weighed nothing, and tugs you onto his lap. He's dressed in nothing but a pair of black boxer-briefs as you straddle his thighs. You're only wearing a thin small dress that doesn't cover your body very much. You look like a stripper. The amount of make up that's cake on your skin doesn't help the look. His thumb rubs your hip, as the other hand rests on the side of your neck. His lips part as he takes slow breaths. One of your hands rests on his cheek while the other rests on your own thigh, holding down the short dress.
You lean forward resting your nose against his. Your heart is about to beat out of your chest and you know Junhui is aware of that.
“I love the way you smell, your skin always has this soft scent of vanilla,” he inhales.
Taking a slow breath you smile with your nose still resting against his.
His hand that's been resting on your hip crawls up your soft stomach, resting on the underside of your breast. His thumb grazed against the fabric of where your bra would have been if you were wearing one. Pulling his face away from you, he leans his head back and takes a breath. You could feel that he's growing harder beneath you.
“Why aren’t you wearing a bra?” He rasps leaning his head back up.
“Let’s not talk about that,” you whisper, praying that you weren’t going to have this conversation. He doesn't need to know that you get more money from tips if you aren't wearing one, or if you wear just a thin bralette.
"You don’t have to keep all these walls up around me." He leans forward, pressing his forehead against yours. "I meant it when I told you, I want you. I don't care about your past, or the part that you think you need to hide. I want to be with you and to protect you." He leaves out the part where he wants to tell you, that in every lifetime he's loved you, and in every lifetime he's had to protect you from evil.
“There’s some things I don’t want you to know about me,” you whisper.
“Okay.”
You know it isn't okay, but he isn't going to press you for more information.
“I was so worried about you, I couldn’t live with myself if you got hurt,” his voice is shaky.
“I’m okay Jun." Your lips are so close to his.
He must have read your mind, because he leans forward and connects his lips to your. His hand is still resting on your neck. You move your hand from your thigh and rests it on his cheek. Instinctively you roll your hips as your lips move together.
His lips move from your mouth, and he slowly start to kiss his way down your jaw. Holding your eyes close you take in his touch. His hand that's resting on your neck moves to the thin spaghetti strap of your dress.
With his lips ghosting your skin he asks, “can I?”
“Yes,” your tone is needy.
His hand that's resting on the underside of your breast moves up as he pushes down both the straps on your dress. He pushes the fabric down your skin, leaving you completely bare from the waist up. You stare at him, wide eyed as his calloused hands move up to massage your breast. His fingers rolled your nipples. Your lips are parted as you take deep a breath enjoying the feeling of his touch.
“Is this alright?” He asks.
“Yes it is,” you try to keep your tone even.
“I won't let anything like tonight ever happen again,” he leans forward and presses his lips to the side of your mouth.
His lips move against yours, as you slowly roll your hips against his growing length. Your lips move together, as if you need each other to breathe. If someone told Junhui he couldn't exist without you, he wouldn't even second guess them. Kissing you is like a breath of fresh air. You're oxygen in his air deprived lungs. Your hands move up resting on his chest. With his lips ghosting yours he whispers, "I need you.”
“Jun." You hold his face in your hands and pull away from him. "I'm so scared I'll ruin things between us. I'm bad luck, everything always falls apart because of me. I don't want to say something that will ruin things between us."
“Nothing you say will ruin anything between us. I want you, I don't mean I just want to have sex with you. I want to be the person you can lean on. I want to be the person who can take care of you. Baby just let me in." He's never sounded this desperate speaking to you before.
“Junhui I’m begging you just drop it right now,” your own voice is desperate.
“Okay.”
Your lips crash against his as your hips roll against his. Your hands move to the bottom of your dress and push it up so it's resting above your hips. Leaving you practically bare below, except for your tiny white thong. You lift your hips slightly, and pull your thong to the side.
"Please touch me."
His lips move to your neck, leaving wet kisses and gentle nips. His lips ghosts your skin and he whispers, "Are you wet for me?"
“Yes,” you rasps as his finger slide into your core.
You gasped as his fingers did slow circles on your sensitive nub. His lips never left your neck. His touch sent a shiver down your spine in the best way possible.
“I need more,” you moan.
Junhui removes his hands from your core. “Sit up a little bit,” he rasps, removing his lips from your skin.
You sit up as he pushes his boxers down his thighs enough to free his erection. Your eyes stayed locked in his face. He has a look of concentration playing across it. His hands grip your soft thigh bringing you back to a resting position on his thighs.
You sit up just enough to line yourself up with his cock. Slowly you sink down on to his length, gasping as you bottom out. Your hands rests on his chest. You stay still for a moment adjusting to his size. You haven't had sex in a while and your body is tense.
His hand rises up to rest gently on your throat, never in your life have you wanted someone to place even the slightest amount of pressure there. Leaning forward you rest your nose against his. Your breathing is uneven. His eyes are closed as his hand still rests on your throat, his thumb gently glides across your skin. All the oxygen seems to be sucked out of the room, and you need each other to breathe. Your ears are still ringing from being thrown against the wall. In this moment the only thing you can hear is yours and Junhui’s breathing.
Slowly your hips moved up. You start to move slowly up and down his length. The only other sounds passing your lips are pants and soft moans. You have never had sex in your life, that feels nearly as intimate as what is unfolding between you and Junhui. Your hands grip his shoulders as you continue to ride him. He's touching anywhere he possibly can, his hand travels from your throat down to your soft hips. He helps guide you as he moves you up and down his length.
The coil in your stomach tightens, with each drag of his cock. His length curves just the right way. With each thrust he touches that spongy spot inside of you, that has you seeing stars.
Gasping you lean forward, resting your head against his shoulder. Your lips gently nip at his shoulder. You know you're probably going to leave a mark reminding you both of what had happened between you on your couch.
With each thrust your stomach tightens. Leaning up you press your lips to his for a hungry kiss. He knows you're close by, your needy whimpers. Reaching between you, he toys with your sensitive clit.
With your lips ghosting his you moan his name, as he pushes you over the edge. Your walls flutter around his length; it didn't take too long for him to hit his high and spill inside you. Your body stops moving, you stay completely still sitting on his lap. Your forehead is resting against his as you both your breathing is uneven. His hand moves up, gently resting on your cheek. He places a wet kiss on your lips.
“You should probably take a shower." Your voice is shaky. He pulls away from you slowly.
“Will you join me?” He asks.
“Of course.”
You slowly crawl off his lap with wobbly legs and take his hands as he stands up. You lead him down towards the bathroom door that was next to your bedroom door.
TEN: FATED LOVERS
Laying in bed, your head rests on Junhui’s chest. His calloused hand rubs your back slowly. It was almost five in the morning and neither of you had been able to sleep at all. Your eyes were closed as you tried to take in his closeness. Not even two hours ago you thought Junhui was dead and now you were in bed naked with him.
"Can you promise me, I won't scare you off if I let my walls down?"
"Nothing you say could scare me." He leans down pressing his lips to the top of your head.
"I'm not just a waitress—" you pause. Outside of Jeonghan and Mingyu you don't really share the other side with people. "I also am a stripper when money is tight."
"Baby, that's fine. I fight people for money. You got to do what you got to do to survive."
"I'm so sorry I didn't tell you."
"Baby, it's okay. That doesn't change the fact that I love you." These final three words make your chest feel as if it's being squeezed.
"I love you too." You don't think you have ever loved anyone like you love him.
"I'm never going to let anything like tonight ever happen again."
"Okay."
"We should get some sleep."
"Yeah. Can you stay here when we wake up?"
He nods his head. "Of course."
Before long you both fall asleep. You dream of each other just like you always do. It's almost noon when you both wake up.
You take your time making you both lunch as Junhui sits at the table watching you move around the kitchen. Finding you in every lifetime gives his life meaning. Now that he's found you can't wait to spend the rest of this life with you.
After lunch Soonyoung calls and lets you both know that Chan is fine and he's home safe. Luckily the bullet just grazed him. He also informs you that Sung and a bunch of his gang were arrested. You aren't sure if Dae was arrested but you hope he was.
When nightfall comes around you and Junhui pack you an overnight bag and you head back to his place.
Junhui says now that he has you, he can't bear to sleep alone.
Standing in his shower he's taking his time scrubbing shampoo into your hair. He's using this time to take care of you. The moment you rinse your hair you work on washing his still very bruised body. Any chance he gets, he's leaning down to steal a kiss.
"I love you." He says between kisses.
"I love you too."
"I've loved you in every lifetime, and I'll love you in every single one that comes next." He means it. He's lived so many lifetimes as a protector and hopes he finds you in every single one.
When it comes to firsts, you and Joshua were each others first for practically everything. He was your first kiss, you shared your first time together, you awkwardly lost your virginities to each other. You were each others first loves and your first heartbreaks.
Seven months, and six days have passed since you walked out the door and never came back. In that time you haven't moved on, you haven't tried to date anyone one. In your heart and soul you're still married.
ITS NEVER OVER
Joshua doesn't think he's ever loved, or will love anyone like he loves you. Watching you walk out of your shared home after an argument, was the most heartbreaking moment of his life.
The first three months you were gone, Joshua texted or called you everyday trying to get you to come home. Slowly the communication started to fade, and now Joshua hasn't spoken to you in three months and twenty-two days.
Since you left Joshua had refused to acknowledge you're sperated. He still wears his wedding ring, and anytime a woman tries to flirt with him he always reminds them he's married.
He's not sure if he can save his marriage or if you'll ever comeback home. He holds out hope that one day you'll come back home.
-
It's another day Joshua is working at the flower shop you both own from open to close. He has Jeonghan helping out running out the small coffee shop that's attached to it.
Today isn't an easy day for Joshua by any means. Today should be your eighth anniversary.
He's spent today burying himself in work. Jeonghan is very aware of what today is. He offered to work open to close with his best friend so he can keep an eye on him.
Joshua is putting the finishing touches on a floral arrangement for a regular who always buys flower for his wife. He puts the arrangement in the cooler before fishing his phone out of his pocket.
Opening his text he goes to your pinned contact. He frows seeing his last message from you was three months ago.
Shua [10:32am] Happy Anniversary.
He stares at his phone knowing there probably won't be response. You’ve barely responded to the last few messages he's sent.
Around noon Jeonghan finally convinces him to at least take a short lunch with him. Joshua's finished up all the early pick up orders and Mina has no problem running the flower counter, and taking orders.
Sitting in the back office Joshua leans back in his chair rubbing his eyes. He hates everything about today.
Jeonghan doesn't like seeing his best friend so distraught. For the last few months he's contemplated begging you to come back to your clearly broken estranged husband. This is your first anniversary apart and he knows Joshua is barely hanging on by a thread.
Leaning forwards, Joshua finally takes a bite of his salad that Jeonghan had ordered him. He can feel his best friend's eyes burning into him, with each bite he takes.
"Why are you here today?" Jeonghan thought Joshua would spend the day at home moping around.
"Because if I spend the day trapped in the home I used to share with her, I might actually lose my mind."
"Shua, maybe it's time you ask for her to comeback or give you a divorce?"
Joshua let's out a heavy sigh leaning back again. "I don't want a divorce. I just want my wife back."
"I know you do. It's just— Shua I hate seeing you torn up like this."
"I know. I hate feeling this way. I just don't know what to do."
"You should go out with me and Seungcheol to the bar tonight."
"Is that a good idea?" Joshua sighs.
"Yeah. I'm not asking you to get drunk, but just come out tonight. I don't want you sitting at home moping around."
Joshua's phone vibrates on the table. He picks it up and sees a message from you.
Goldie 12:13pm - Happy Anniversary.
He truly thought he wouldn't hear from you at all today. He doesn't expect you to call or anything, but he's glad you at least sent him a text.
"Whose texting you?"
Joshua sits the phone down on the table. "Goldie."
"You still call your wife her nickname?" For as long as Jeonghan has know Joshua, he's rarely ever heard him call you by your actual name.
"She's bright like a marigold."
"Your favorite flowers are white roses, I'm still shocked you don't call her Rosie."
Joshua grabs his phone and opens his text.
Shua 12:21pm: I miss you.
"Shua, just go to the bar tonight with me and Cheol."
He just stares at his text you. He can't bring himself to sit in the homes shared, during this anniversary you'll be apart.
"I'll go out tonight."
IS THIS AN ILLUSION?
The sight of you standing right outside the entrance of the flower shop doesn't feel real. Joshua rubs his eyes unsure if this is actually real. It's taking everything in him not to rush the few feet towards you. The closer he gets he realizes you're eyes are glossy and that have been crying.
"Goldie?"
You look up at him and give him a sad smile. "Hi, Shua."
He stood in front of you. He just takes a moment to fully look at you. He was starting to think he might not ever see you again.
"Why are you here?" He stops in front of you.
"I realize I'm miserable without you. I thought I needed to try and be independent, but I understand that's foolish."
Joshua glances around the quiet street. The is watercolors of pink and orange as it starts to rise. He doesn't want to have this conversation out on the street.
"Let's go inside and talk over some coffee." He fishes his key out of his pocket. Opening the door, he holds it open for you.
You look around the flower shop and smile at the site of the bundles of marigolds and white roses together.
"The marigolds are always there because of you." Back in the high school Joshua gave you a bouquet of marigolds and told you they remind him of you. He's called you Goldie since you were teens because of the vibrant flower.
"Are the white rose for you?" You pick a single stem white rose up.
"They're still my favorite flower." He says. “You know they represent new beginnings?”
“Yeah. You gave them to me after our first fight in high school.” You hope that the white rose can represent your future now.
He walks over to the small coffee shop. He turns on the espresso machine and gets to work making coffee for both of you.
This flower shop and cafe is something the two of you built together. This place was just as much yours as it was his before you left.
He tries to focus on making coffee, but he can only focus on you. He's watching you make your way around the flower shop, looking at all the flowers.
He brings over a small tray holding both your iced lattes. Walking over you sit down across to him at small table near the window.
You take a sip of the honey flavored latte. He made it exactly how you have always loved it. "I know I have messed up, am I hurt you."
"You were my first love, and you became my first heartbreak." He responds.
"I know. I broke both of our hearts." You'll never point any of the blame on your husband. Joshua has always been perfect to you. "I left because I never knew what it was like to be independent. I went from living under the guidance of my father, to being married. I've always had a man in my life helping me figure out how to live. I needed to try and be independent."
His brows knit together. "Did you think I was controlling?"
"No, not at all. I just needed space to try an discover who I am. I realized the whole time I was away that my life doesn't make sense without you."
Reaching for the glass you take another drink of your coffee. "I'm coming home. If you would like to continue our relationship, I would love that. I understand if you don't want to. I hurt you, and know that. I can stay with Seokmin and rent a room from him."
"You're crazy if you think I'm going to let you live with Seokmin. Since the moment you walked out of our home on that raining day, I have hoped and prayed that I would come home to me."
"Don't you hate me for hurting you?"
He reaches out taking your hand in his. "Goldie, I don't think I will fully ever understand why you left like you did. I always thought you knew you could talk to me and trust me. But I could never hate you. I just hated that you made me feel like I was just an afterthought." It's true, he's been heart broken since you left, but he's never hated you.
"Okay." Tears slowly start sliding down your cheeks. "I'm sorry I made you feel that way."
Reaching across the table he rest his hand on your cheek. He drags his hand across the delicate skin of your cheek, swiping away your tears. "Come home tonight. Let's have dinner and you can stay the night or you can go stay with Seokmin. The guest room is still set up."
"I would like that."
He wants to ask you a million questions. He wants to know what you've been up to, and where you have been living. He's pretty sure when you left you went and stayed with Seungkwan and his wife.
You both finish your lattes. Joshua is lucky you decided to show up after closing. He knows Jeonghan is going to show up soon to drag him to the bar.
"Did you want pasta tonight for dinner?" It's your anniversary and he would like to make your favorite meal.
"That would be nice."
He glances up when he sees Jeonghan unlocking the door and walking in. He didn't know if Jeonghan was coming in or going to call him. As a partial owner of the coffee shop in here, Jeonghan tends to come and go as he pleases here.
"Oh." Jeonghan says at the sight of you sitting with Joshua.
You turn and fully look at your husbands best friend. Joshua isn't aware that Jeonghan has been checking on you once a month since you left.
"Hi, Hannie."
Jeonghan shoves his hands into his jeans pockets. He looks at Joshua raising his brows. He's not fully sure what he just walked into to.
"Jeonghan, um Goldie is back." Joshua stands up.
"Welcome back, Goldie." Jeonghan tilts his head at you.
Jeonghan walks over and hands Joshua a bag. Joshua dismisses him and takes it to the back office. You're left alone with Jeonghan for a moment.
"When I asked you to come back last night. I didn't expect to see you at seven tonight." Jeonghan sits down where Joshua was sitting.
"I knew it was time to come home, your message was the push I needed." You pause staring at the man who had become your best friend as well. "I know you probably hate me, and we probably aren't friends anymore."
He knits his brows together. "I don't hate you, and we can still be friends. I'm just asking that you don't break his heart again."
Joshua walks back out holding the keys to the store. He gives you a gentle smile, before looking towards Jeonghan.
"I'll let Cheol know you can't come out tonight." Jeonghan stands up and grabs your empty coffee cups.
Joshua walks closer to you. Jeonghan walks away disposing of the cups.
"Are you ready to go home?" Joshua asks.
You stand up, glancing over you see Joshua holding out his hand. You don't even hesitate, you reach out lacing your fingers with his.
Walk out of the shop, Jeonghan leads the way. Joshua releases your hand just long enough to lock the door.
Jeonghan says goodbye and heads down the street towards the bar.
ALL THE MEMORIES WE’VE SHARED
Once you're both alone Joshua leads you towards his car. He unlocks it's and opens the passenger door for you.
"I didn't ask how you got here." Joshua pauses.
"Seokmin dropped me off."
You both get into the car. Joshua glances over and gives you a smile before he turns the car on. The drive the flower shop, to your home takes all of five minutes. Joshua parks the car in the driveway and you both get out.
Heading inside your shared home, it still looks like just the day you left. Over by the couch, your engagement and wedding photos are still hung. After you left your thought he would remove those photos.
You follow him as he heads off to the kitchen. He grabs a bottle of wine and pops it open. You stand by the sink watching as he moves around the kitchen. He pours to glasses of red wine. He grabs one, holding it out for you.
Taking the glass you hold it out. He grabs his own and raises it. "Happy anniversary."
You cheers your glasses before taking a sip of rich yet subtle flavor of blackberries in the wine.
"Happy anniversary," you respond.
"Take a seat and I'll make us your favorite pesto."
Walking over you sit down at the kitchen table. You sip on the rich wine, watching him move with ease around the kitchen. Cooking for you has always been apart of Joshua's love language with you.
It takes about thirty minutes before he sets down a delicious looking plate of pesto pasta.
He sits down across from you. There is about two minutes of silence before you both start making small talk.
"Do you remember when we're were home from college celebrating our anniversary and your mom almost walked in on us?" Joshua asks. You remember this night fully. You were both twenty and had been dating for four years at that point. You planned on getting a hotel for your anniversary, but weren't able to. Joshua thought it would be romantic if he snuck into your parents house in the middle of night. It turns out your were being too loud having sex and your mom was concerned you were hurt and came knocking on your luckily locked door.
"Yes. We were being so loud, my mom thought something hurt me and made me cry." If only she knew, your charming boyfriend was fucking you so good you couldn't shut up.
Through out dinner you keep talking about past memories. After another glass of wine you both work on cleaning up the kitchen. Joshua puts the last dish away as you finish your last drink of wine.
Joshua is standing there looking absolutely handsome. This dinner made you feel like everything was back to normal. It's making you realize you didn't destroy everything you built together, like you thought you did.
You've missed your husband desperately, and you never want to leave his side again.
Joshua walks closer to you. He stops right in front of you. He reaches out pushing your hair out of you face. He doesn't anything, he just stares at you for a moment.
Without thinking, you lean in crashing your lips into his. His hand grips your hip, pulling you flush against his body. Wrapping your arms around his neck, you deepen the kiss. The whole time you were gone, you craved this feeling. You told yourself over and over again, that you left to find yourself, but you couldn't push away the aching feeling in your chest. Every single day, you're apart you've missed your husband. Now that you're back you don't ever want to leave his side again.
Pulling back slightly, he rests his nose against yours. "Are you sure you want this?" He whispers.
"I just want to be with my husband again." His brows knit together for a moment. "Joshua, if you'll have me back, I wanna be yours."
Not another word was uttered before he crashes his lips into yours for a searing kiss. He walks you backwards until your back hits the wall with a thud.
He pulls away smiling. His smile sends a fluttering storm of butterflies into your stomach. "Baby, you've alway been mine. Even when you made me feel like an afterthought. You were always mine." He says before kissing you again.
Reaching for his belt, without thinking you start unbuckling it. He stares at you with a look of awe. You fumble, as your work on unbuckling his pants. You push his jeans down below his butt, and pull out his already hardening length. Your eyes lock on his, as your slowly pump his length.
You give him a smile, before dropping to your knees in front of him. You start off by holding, his length while you slowly took his rosy colored tip. He threads his fingers through your hair, holding it away from your face. Hallowing your cheeks you take his length into your mouth. Bobbing your head you slide your tongue against the vein that runs along the underside of his cock.
Joshua's eyes are closed, and his lips are parted. It's taking everything in him not to guide your movements. He's just letting your set your own pace. God he's missed the feeling of your mouth.
"Goldie." He lets out a breathy moan.
Looking up through your lashes, your eyes lock with his. He looks beautiful as he's on the edge of falling apart.
One hand rest on his thigh, while the other reach down to play with his balls.
"Baby, I'm close." You love how desperate he sounds.
Hallowing your cheeks you take him into your throat. He shakes his head and pulls away from you.
Sitting back on your heels you look up at him, confused.
"Baby, our first time together in months I refuse to finish the first time in your mouth." He reaches down, helping you stand up.
He leans down pressing his lips to yours for a quick kiss. "Let's move to our bedroom."
Laying on top of the same comforter you spent hours shopping dragging Joshua around on a sunny June afternoon. Pushing yourself up on your elbows you watch as Joshua starts stripping away this clothes. He's still absolutely beautiful.
It's been so long since you've been intimate. Joshua is the only man you've ever been with, and you never want another man touch you like he does.
He sits his knee on the bed and starts crawling towards you. He sits on his heels between your spread legs. Leaning down he places a kiss on your knee.
"I'm going to eat you out." He lays down on his stomach, with your needy pussy right in front of his face. He starts by kissing the top of your mound. He spreads your lips and with his fat tongue he licks your puffy clit.
"Oh—" you instantly moan.
"You taste just as sweet as I remember."
He dives into your core like a man starved. He practically makes out with your clit, switching between licking and sucking as he pumps two fingers in and out of you.
Your fingers tangle in his hair, holding him close to your core. Without thinking your lift your hips pushing your pussy closer to his face.
"Shua—" You moan.
He curves his fingers up, touching that spot inside you, that leaves you seeing stars. He sucks harder on your clit. Your orgasm hits you like a lightening strike. Everything tenses and then your whole body instantly relaxs. Your walls flutter around his fingers. You're body lies limp against the soft bed.
He pulls back smiling. His lips have a shine to them from your release. His tongue slides across his top lip, collecting some of your release.
Your eyes are squeezed shut letting the high wash over you. Joshua takes this time to slowly pull back. He moves back to his position, sitting on his knees between your spread legs. He pumps his painfully hard length, looking down at you.
Your eyes open and you find him staring down at you. He presses another gentle kiss to your knee.
"Do I need to get a condom?" He hasn't worn in a condom with you since you were in college together, but it's been so long since you were intimate he doesn't know if you want him to wear one. His large hand rests on your thigh, and rubs it slowly.
A smile tugs at your lips. "I'm still on birth control, and haven't even looked at another man other than you."
"Goldie—" he pauses and looks at you with his brows knit. "Baby, I've never been with anyone other then you. The whole time you were gone I never planned on moving on. I'm faithful to you."
"I didn't wasn't accusing you of anything. I just wanted you to know I was faithful to you too." You give him a smile. "Joshua I want to feel you fully raw again."
He moves closer to you. He takes his hard length in his hand, running it through your wet folds. A soft gasp passes your lips as the rosy mushroom tip bumps against your sensitive clit. He moves so he's hovering over you, while he rest on his knees. He pushes you inch by inch as painfully slow pace. It's been so long since you've had sex with anything other than your vibrator. It's going to take a moment for you to adjust to the size of your husband. The moment he's fully inside he stills, giving you a moment to adjust. Closing your eyes you tilt your head back. He reaches up resting his hand on your cheek.
"You okay?" Your eyes flutter open, and find him staring down at you.
"Yeah, I just need a minute. It's a been a while."
"Baby it's been seven long months since I have been inside you." He gives you that smile that always makes you feel weak in the knees.
"Shua, can you move?" Your reach up, tangling your fingers in his hair.
Without saying another word, he starts moving at a slow and deep pace. His body is practically plastered against you. One of yours hands is tangled in his hand and the others rest on his lower back. You can't get enough of him. Seven long months left you yearning for him.
His large length is filling you completey. He's so long you feel as if he's kissing your cervix with each deep thrust. The room is filled with echoing sounds of your whimpers and moans, and his deep moans. Resting his face in the crook of your neck, he leaves a wet trail of kisses, most definitely leaving marks in his wake.
"Baby you feel so good," he groans against your skin.
Spreading your legs wider for him, he's able to hit spots even deeper. Closing your eyes you focus on your rapidly approaching high. You let out a high pitched moan that sounds like his name. You're on the verge of falling apart.
"You're clenching." He groans. He knows your body inside and out. He's aware that you're on the brink of falling apart.
"You feel so good. You're so big." You're practically squirming, trying to push your hips up towards him.
"Baby you can come." He pulls his lips away from your skin.
You silently nod your head. Your whole body feels tense. The coiling in your stomach has your wound so tight, you're on the brink of exploding.
Joshua pulls away from your fully. You whine at the loss of him plastered against you. He sits on his knees between your spread legs. This position gives him. The ability to play with your clit. He picks up his pace, still going deep, but smacking his hips into yours hard. His hand rest on your mound, his thumb works on rubbing your sensitive clit. Your lips part, as a silent gasp passes.
Pushing yourself up on your elbows your watch what he's doing. It's absolutely toxicity watching as he plays with you.
"Fuck—" you whine.
"Come for me baby."
Silently you nod.
He pushes his hips into yours at quicker pace. Your orgasm feels like a tidal wave. The coil snaps in your stomach like it never had before. Your walls squeeze his massive length pushing him over the edge right behind you. He fills you to the brim with his milky white release. He's cum harder then he ever has.
He keeps thrusting into you with shallow thrust, helping you both ride out your high. Pulling out he watches as his thick cum slowly starts to leak out. Without thinking he drags two fingers through your folds helping to push his release back inside you.
"God I love you." He says.
"I love you too."
He kisses the top of your knee one last time before running off to the bathroom to get a warm cloth to clean you up.
Laying in bed with your husband feels surreal. There were many nights after you left you thought you lost him forever.
Laying in your side you stare him. He's laying on his side staring back. His hand rest on the bed between you. You're both still fully naked.
"Baby, I want my wife back."
"Why are you so willing to forgive me?" You can't push away the guilty feeling that's eating away at you.
"Because I love you, and I'm willing to understand why you left me." His words make you feel like your chest is being squeezed. "We can go slow. We can act like we're dating again, we have a guest room. One of us can sleep in there."
"Slow would be nice. Maybe we don't always sleep in separate rooms."
He smiles. "I'll do whatever you want. I just want you back."
"I'm back." You can't help but cry.
He reaches out pushing away your tears. "Don't cry, baby."
"I'm just worried. People probably hate me for hurting you."
He shakes his head. "No one can hate you. Sure some people don't understand, but no one hates you. Baby what other people think doesn't matter. All that matters is, I want you back, and I love you."
"I love you too."
Joshua moves closer. He crashes his lips into yours before pulling you into his arms. You know you messed up, but Joshua loves you, and wants to work on building your life together again. You hope one day maybe that guilty feeling will go away. But right now all that matters is that you love your husband, and he loves you.
When it comes to firsts, you and Joshua were each others first for practically everything. He was your first kiss, you shared your first time together, you awkwardly lost your virginities to each other. You were each others first loves and your first heartbreaks.
Seven months, and six days have passed since you walked out the door and never came back. In that time you haven't moved on, you haven't tried to date anyone one. In your heart and soul you're still married.
ITS NEVER OVER
Joshua doesn't think he's ever loved, or will love anyone like he loves you. Watching you walk out of your shared home after an argument, was the most heartbreaking moment of his life.
The first three months you were gone, Joshua texted or called you everyday trying to get you to come home. Slowly the communication started to fade, and now Joshua hasn't spoken to you in three months and twenty-two days.
Since you left Joshua had refused to acknowledge you're sperated. He still wears his wedding ring, and anytime a woman tries to flirt with him he always reminds them he's married.
He's not sure if he can save his marriage or if you'll ever comeback home. He holds out hope that one day you'll come back home.
-
It's another day Joshua is working at the flower shop you both own from open to close. He has Jeonghan helping out running out the small coffee shop that's attached to it.
Today isn't an easy day for Joshua by any means. Today should be your eighth anniversary.
He's spent today burying himself in work. Jeonghan is very aware of what today is. He offered to work open to close with his best friend so he can keep an eye on him.
Joshua is putting the finishing touches on a floral arrangement for a regular who always buys flower for his wife. He puts the arrangement in the cooler before fishing his phone out of his pocket.
Opening his text he goes to your pinned contact. He frows seeing his last message from you was three months ago.
Shua [10:32am] Happy Anniversary.
He stares at his phone knowing there probably won't be response. You’ve barely responded to the last few messages he's sent.
Around noon Jeonghan finally convinces him to at least take a short lunch with him. Joshua's finished up all the early pick up orders and Mina has no problem running the flower counter, and taking orders.
Sitting in the back office Joshua leans back in his chair rubbing his eyes. He hates everything about today.
Jeonghan doesn't like seeing his best friend so distraught. For the last few months he's contemplated begging you to come back to your clearly broken estranged husband. This is your first anniversary apart and he knows Joshua is barely hanging on by a thread.
Leaning forwards, Joshua finally takes a bite of his salad that Jeonghan had ordered him. He can feel his best friend's eyes burning into him, with each bite he takes.
"Why are you here today?" Jeonghan thought Joshua would spend the day at home moping around.
"Because if I spend the day trapped in the home I used to share with her, I might actually lose my mind."
"Shua, maybe it's time you ask for her to comeback or give you a divorce?"
Joshua let's out a heavy sigh leaning back again. "I don't want a divorce. I just want my wife back."
"I know you do. It's just— Shua I hate seeing you torn up like this."
"I know. I hate feeling this way. I just don't know what to do."
"You should go out with me and Seungcheol to the bar tonight."
"Is that a good idea?" Joshua sighs.
"Yeah. I'm not asking you to get drunk, but just come out tonight. I don't want you sitting at home moping around."
Joshua's phone vibrates on the table. He picks it up and sees a message from you.
Goldie 12:13pm - Happy Anniversary.
He truly thought he wouldn't hear from you at all today. He doesn't expect you to call or anything, but he's glad you at least sent him a text.
"Whose texting you?"
Joshua sits the phone down on the table. "Goldie."
"You still call your wife her nickname?" For as long as Jeonghan has know Joshua, he's rarely ever heard him call you by your actual name.
"She's bright like a marigold."
"Your favorite flowers are white roses, I'm still shocked you don't call her Rosie."
Joshua grabs his phone and opens his text.
Shua 12:21pm: I miss you.
"Shua, just go to the bar tonight with me and Cheol."
He just stares at his text you. He can't bring himself to sit in the homes shared, during this anniversary you'll be apart.
"I'll go out tonight."
IS THIS AN ILLUSION?
The sight of you standing right outside the entrance of the flower shop doesn't feel real. Joshua rubs his eyes unsure if this is actually real. It's taking everything in him not to rush the few feet towards you. The closer he gets he realizes you're eyes are glossy and that have been crying.
"Goldie?"
You look up at him and give him a sad smile. "Hi, Shua."
He stood in front of you. He just takes a moment to fully look at you. He was starting to think he might not ever see you again.
"Why are you here?" He stops in front of you.
"I realize I'm miserable without you. I thought I needed to try and be independent, but I understand that's foolish."
Joshua glances around the quiet street. The is watercolors of pink and orange as it starts to rise. He doesn't want to have this conversation out on the street.
"Let's go inside and talk over some coffee." He fishes his key out of his pocket. Opening the door, he holds it open for you.
You look around the flower shop and smile at the site of the bundles of marigolds and white roses together.
"The marigolds are always there because of you." Back in the high school Joshua gave you a bouquet of marigolds and told you they remind him of you. He's called you Goldie since you were teens because of the vibrant flower.
"Are the white rose for you?" You pick a single stem white rose up.
"They're still my favorite flower." He says. “You know they represent new beginnings?”
“Yeah. You gave them to me after our first fight in high school.” You hope that the white rose can represent your future now.
He walks over to the small coffee shop. He turns on the espresso machine and gets to work making coffee for both of you.
This flower shop and cafe is something the two of you built together. This place was just as much yours as it was his before you left.
He tries to focus on making coffee, but he can only focus on you. He's watching you make your way around the flower shop, looking at all the flowers.
He brings over a small tray holding both your iced lattes. Walking over you sit down across to him at small table near the window.
You take a sip of the honey flavored latte. He made it exactly how you have always loved it. "I know I have messed up, am I hurt you."
"You were my first love, and you became my first heartbreak." He responds.
"I know. I broke both of our hearts." You'll never point any of the blame on your husband. Joshua has always been perfect to you. "I left because I never knew what it was like to be independent. I went from living under the guidance of my father, to being married. I've always had a man in my life helping me figure out how to live. I needed to try and be independent."
His brows knit together. "Did you think I was controlling?"
"No, not at all. I just needed space to try an discover who I am. I realized the whole time I was away that my life doesn't make sense without you."
Reaching for the glass you take another drink of your coffee. "I'm coming home. If you would like to continue our relationship, I would love that. I understand if you don't want to. I hurt you, and know that. I can stay with Seokmin and rent a room from him."
"You're crazy if you think I'm going to let you live with Seokmin. Since the moment you walked out of our home on that raining day, I have hoped and prayed that I would come home to me."
"Don't you hate me for hurting you?"
He reaches out taking your hand in his. "Goldie, I don't think I will fully ever understand why you left like you did. I always thought you knew you could talk to me and trust me. But I could never hate you. I just hated that you made me feel like I was just an afterthought." It's true, he's been heart broken since you left, but he's never hated you.
"Okay." Tears slowly start sliding down your cheeks. "I'm sorry I made you feel that way."
Reaching across the table he rest his hand on your cheek. He drags his hand across the delicate skin of your cheek, swiping away your tears. "Come home tonight. Let's have dinner and you can stay the night or you can go stay with Seokmin. The guest room is still set up."
"I would like that."
He wants to ask you a million questions. He wants to know what you've been up to, and where you have been living. He's pretty sure when you left you went and stayed with Seungkwan and his wife.
You both finish your lattes. Joshua is lucky you decided to show up after closing. He knows Jeonghan is going to show up soon to drag him to the bar.
"Did you want pasta tonight for dinner?" It's your anniversary and he would like to make your favorite meal.
"That would be nice."
He glances up when he sees Jeonghan unlocking the door and walking in. He didn't know if Jeonghan was coming in or going to call him. As a partial owner of the coffee shop in here, Jeonghan tends to come and go as he pleases here.
"Oh." Jeonghan says at the sight of you sitting with Joshua.
You turn and fully look at your husbands best friend. Joshua isn't aware that Jeonghan has been checking on you once a month since you left.
"Hi, Hannie."
Jeonghan shoves his hands into his jeans pockets. He looks at Joshua raising his brows. He's not fully sure what he just walked into to.
"Jeonghan, um Goldie is back." Joshua stands up.
"Welcome back, Goldie." Jeonghan tilts his head at you.
Jeonghan walks over and hands Joshua a bag. Joshua dismisses him and takes it to the back office. You're left alone with Jeonghan for a moment.
"When I asked you to come back last night. I didn't expect to see you at seven tonight." Jeonghan sits down where Joshua was sitting.
"I knew it was time to come home, your message was the push I needed." You pause staring at the man who had become your best friend as well. "I know you probably hate me, and we probably aren't friends anymore."
He knits his brows together. "I don't hate you, and we can still be friends. I'm just asking that you don't break his heart again."
Joshua walks back out holding the keys to the store. He gives you a gentle smile, before looking towards Jeonghan.
"I'll let Cheol know you can't come out tonight." Jeonghan stands up and grabs your empty coffee cups.
Joshua walks closer to you. Jeonghan walks away disposing of the cups.
"Are you ready to go home?" Joshua asks.
You stand up, glancing over you see Joshua holding out his hand. You don't even hesitate, you reach out lacing your fingers with his.
Walk out of the shop, Jeonghan leads the way. Joshua releases your hand just long enough to lock the door.
Jeonghan says goodbye and heads down the street towards the bar.
ALL THE MEMORIES WE’VE SHARED
Once you're both alone Joshua leads you towards his car. He unlocks it's and opens the passenger door for you.
"I didn't ask how you got here." Joshua pauses.
"Seokmin dropped me off."
You both get into the car. Joshua glances over and gives you a smile before he turns the car on. The drive the flower shop, to your home takes all of five minutes. Joshua parks the car in the driveway and you both get out.
Heading inside your shared home, it still looks like just the day you left. Over by the couch, your engagement and wedding photos are still hung. After you left your thought he would remove those photos.
You follow him as he heads off to the kitchen. He grabs a bottle of wine and pops it open. You stand by the sink watching as he moves around the kitchen. He pours to glasses of red wine. He grabs one, holding it out for you.
Taking the glass you hold it out. He grabs his own and raises it. "Happy anniversary."
You cheers your glasses before taking a sip of rich yet subtle flavor of blackberries in the wine.
"Happy anniversary," you respond.
"Take a seat and I'll make us your favorite pesto."
Walking over you sit down at the kitchen table. You sip on the rich wine, watching him move with ease around the kitchen. Cooking for you has always been apart of Joshua's love language with you.
It takes about thirty minutes before he sets down a delicious looking plate of pesto pasta.
He sits down across from you. There is about two minutes of silence before you both start making small talk.
"Do you remember when we're were home from college celebrating our anniversary and your mom almost walked in on us?" Joshua asks. You remember this night fully. You were both twenty and had been dating for four years at that point. You planned on getting a hotel for your anniversary, but weren't able to. Joshua thought it would be romantic if he snuck into your parents house in the middle of night. It turns out your were being too loud having sex and your mom was concerned you were hurt and came knocking on your luckily locked door.
"Yes. We were being so loud, my mom thought something hurt me and made me cry." If only she knew, your charming boyfriend was fucking you so good you couldn't shut up.
Through out dinner you keep talking about past memories. After another glass of wine you both work on cleaning up the kitchen. Joshua puts the last dish away as you finish your last drink of wine.
Joshua is standing there looking absolutely handsome. This dinner made you feel like everything was back to normal. It's making you realize you didn't destroy everything you built together, like you thought you did.
You've missed your husband desperately, and you never want to leave his side again.
Joshua walks closer to you. He stops right in front of you. He reaches out pushing your hair out of you face. He doesn't anything, he just stares at you for a moment.
Without thinking, you lean in crashing your lips into his. His hand grips your hip, pulling you flush against his body. Wrapping your arms around his neck, you deepen the kiss. The whole time you were gone, you craved this feeling. You told yourself over and over again, that you left to find yourself, but you couldn't push away the aching feeling in your chest. Every single day, you're apart you've missed your husband. Now that you're back you don't ever want to leave his side again.
Pulling back slightly, he rests his nose against yours. "Are you sure you want this?" He whispers.
"I just want to be with my husband again." His brows knit together for a moment. "Joshua, if you'll have me back, I wanna be yours."
Not another word was uttered before he crashes his lips into yours for a searing kiss. He walks you backwards until your back hits the wall with a thud.
He pulls away smiling. His smile sends a fluttering storm of butterflies into your stomach. "Baby, you've alway been mine. Even when you made me feel like an afterthought. You were always mine." He says before kissing you again.
Reaching for his belt, without thinking you start unbuckling it. He stares at you with a look of awe. You fumble, as your work on unbuckling his pants. You push his jeans down below his butt, and pull out his already hardening length. Your eyes lock on his, as your slowly pump his length.
You give him a smile, before dropping to your knees in front of him. You start off by holding, his length while you slowly took his rosy colored tip. He threads his fingers through your hair, holding it away from your face. Hallowing your cheeks you take his length into your mouth. Bobbing your head you slide your tongue against the vein that runs along the underside of his cock.
Joshua's eyes are closed, and his lips are parted. It's taking everything in him not to guide your movements. He's just letting your set your own pace. God he's missed the feeling of your mouth.
"Goldie." He lets out a breathy moan.
Looking up through your lashes, your eyes lock with his. He looks beautiful as he's on the edge of falling apart.
One hand rest on his thigh, while the other reach down to play with his balls.
"Baby, I'm close." You love how desperate he sounds.
Hallowing your cheeks you take him into your throat. He shakes his head and pulls away from you.
Sitting back on your heels you look up at him, confused.
"Baby, our first time together in months I refuse to finish the first time in your mouth." He reaches down, helping you stand up.
He leans down pressing his lips to yours for a quick kiss. "Let's move to our bedroom."
Laying on top of the same comforter you spent hours shopping dragging Joshua around on a sunny June afternoon. Pushing yourself up on your elbows you watch as Joshua starts stripping away this clothes. He's still absolutely beautiful.
It's been so long since you've been intimate. Joshua is the only man you've ever been with, and you never want another man touch you like he does.
He sits his knee on the bed and starts crawling towards you. He sits on his heels between your spread legs. Leaning down he places a kiss on your knee.
"I'm going to eat you out." He lays down on his stomach, with your needy pussy right in front of his face. He starts by kissing the top of your mound. He spreads your lips and with his fat tongue he licks your puffy clit.
"Oh—" you instantly moan.
"You taste just as sweet as I remember."
He dives into your core like a man starved. He practically makes out with your clit, switching between licking and sucking as he pumps two fingers in and out of you.
Your fingers tangle in his hair, holding him close to your core. Without thinking your lift your hips pushing your pussy closer to his face.
"Shua—" You moan.
He curves his fingers up, touching that spot inside you, that leaves you seeing stars. He sucks harder on your clit. Your orgasm hits you like a lightening strike. Everything tenses and then your whole body instantly relaxs. Your walls flutter around his fingers. You're body lies limp against the soft bed.
He pulls back smiling. His lips have a shine to them from your release. His tongue slides across his top lip, collecting some of your release.
Your eyes are squeezed shut letting the high wash over you. Joshua takes this time to slowly pull back. He moves back to his position, sitting on his knees between your spread legs. He pumps his painfully hard length, looking down at you.
Your eyes open and you find him staring down at you. He presses another gentle kiss to your knee.
"Do I need to get a condom?" He hasn't worn in a condom with you since you were in college together, but it's been so long since you were intimate he doesn't know if you want him to wear one. His large hand rests on your thigh, and rubs it slowly.
A smile tugs at your lips. "I'm still on birth control, and haven't even looked at another man other than you."
"Goldie—" he pauses and looks at you with his brows knit. "Baby, I've never been with anyone other then you. The whole time you were gone I never planned on moving on. I'm faithful to you."
"I didn't wasn't accusing you of anything. I just wanted you to know I was faithful to you too." You give him a smile. "Joshua I want to feel you fully raw again."
He moves closer to you. He takes his hard length in his hand, running it through your wet folds. A soft gasp passes your lips as the rosy mushroom tip bumps against your sensitive clit. He moves so he's hovering over you, while he rest on his knees. He pushes you inch by inch as painfully slow pace. It's been so long since you've had sex with anything other than your vibrator. It's going to take a moment for you to adjust to the size of your husband. The moment he's fully inside he stills, giving you a moment to adjust. Closing your eyes you tilt your head back. He reaches up resting his hand on your cheek.
"You okay?" Your eyes flutter open, and find him staring down at you.
"Yeah, I just need a minute. It's a been a while."
"Baby it's been seven long months since I have been inside you." He gives you that smile that always makes you feel weak in the knees.
"Shua, can you move?" Your reach up, tangling your fingers in his hair.
Without saying another word, he starts moving at a slow and deep pace. His body is practically plastered against you. One of yours hands is tangled in his hand and the others rest on his lower back. You can't get enough of him. Seven long months left you yearning for him.
His large length is filling you completey. He's so long you feel as if he's kissing your cervix with each deep thrust. The room is filled with echoing sounds of your whimpers and moans, and his deep moans. Resting his face in the crook of your neck, he leaves a wet trail of kisses, most definitely leaving marks in his wake.
"Baby you feel so good," he groans against your skin.
Spreading your legs wider for him, he's able to hit spots even deeper. Closing your eyes you focus on your rapidly approaching high. You let out a high pitched moan that sounds like his name. You're on the verge of falling apart.
"You're clenching." He groans. He knows your body inside and out. He's aware that you're on the brink of falling apart.
"You feel so good. You're so big." You're practically squirming, trying to push your hips up towards him.
"Baby you can come." He pulls his lips away from your skin.
You silently nod your head. Your whole body feels tense. The coiling in your stomach has your wound so tight, you're on the brink of exploding.
Joshua pulls away from your fully. You whine at the loss of him plastered against you. He sits on his knees between your spread legs. This position gives him. The ability to play with your clit. He picks up his pace, still going deep, but smacking his hips into yours hard. His hand rest on your mound, his thumb works on rubbing your sensitive clit. Your lips part, as a silent gasp passes.
Pushing yourself up on your elbows your watch what he's doing. It's absolutely toxicity watching as he plays with you.
"Fuck—" you whine.
"Come for me baby."
Silently you nod.
He pushes his hips into yours at quicker pace. Your orgasm feels like a tidal wave. The coil snaps in your stomach like it never had before. Your walls squeeze his massive length pushing him over the edge right behind you. He fills you to the brim with his milky white release. He's cum harder then he ever has.
He keeps thrusting into you with shallow thrust, helping you both ride out your high. Pulling out he watches as his thick cum slowly starts to leak out. Without thinking he drags two fingers through your folds helping to push his release back inside you.
"God I love you." He says.
"I love you too."
He kisses the top of your knee one last time before running off to the bathroom to get a warm cloth to clean you up.
Laying in bed with your husband feels surreal. There were many nights after you left you thought you lost him forever.
Laying in your side you stare him. He's laying on his side staring back. His hand rest on the bed between you. You're both still fully naked.
"Baby, I want my wife back."
"Why are you so willing to forgive me?" You can't push away the guilty feeling that's eating away at you.
"Because I love you, and I'm willing to understand why you left me." His words make you feel like your chest is being squeezed. "We can go slow. We can act like we're dating again, we have a guest room. One of us can sleep in there."
"Slow would be nice. Maybe we don't always sleep in separate rooms."
He smiles. "I'll do whatever you want. I just want you back."
"I'm back." You can't help but cry.
He reaches out pushing away your tears. "Don't cry, baby."
"I'm just worried. People probably hate me for hurting you."
He shakes his head. "No one can hate you. Sure some people don't understand, but no one hates you. Baby what other people think doesn't matter. All that matters is, I want you back, and I love you."
"I love you too."
Joshua moves closer. He crashes his lips into yours before pulling you into his arms. You know you messed up, but Joshua loves you, and wants to work on building your life together again. You hope one day maybe that guilty feeling will go away. But right now all that matters is that you love your husband, and he loves you.
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When it comes to firsts, you and Joshua were each others first for practically everything. He was your first kiss, you shared your first time together, you awkwardly lost your virginities to each other. You were each others first loves and your first heartbreaks.
Seven months, and six days have passed since you walked out the door and never came back. In that time you haven't moved on, you haven't tried to date anyone one. In your heart and soul you're still married.
ITS NEVER OVER
Joshua doesn't think he's ever loved, or will love anyone like he loves you. Watching you walk out of your shared home after an argument, was the most heartbreaking moment of his life.
The first three months you were gone, Joshua texted or called you everyday trying to get you to come home. Slowly the communication started to fade, and now Joshua hasn't spoken to you in three months and twenty-two days.
Since you left Joshua had refused to acknowledge you're sperated. He still wears his wedding ring, and anytime a woman tries to flirt with him he always reminds them he's married.
He's not sure if he can save his marriage or if you'll ever comeback home. He holds out hope that one day you'll come back home.
-
It's another day Joshua is working at the flower shop you both own from open to close. He has Jeonghan helping out running out the small coffee shop that's attached to it.
Today isn't an easy day for Joshua by any means. Today should be your eighth anniversary.
He's spent today burying himself in work. Jeonghan is very aware of what today is. He offered to work open to close with his best friend so he can keep an eye on him.
Joshua is putting the finishing touches on a floral arrangement for a regular who always buys flower for his wife. He puts the arrangement in the cooler before fishing his phone out of his pocket.
Opening his text he goes to your pinned contact. He frows seeing his last message from you was three months ago.
Shua [10:32am] Happy Anniversary.
He stares at his phone knowing there probably won't be response. You’ve barely responded to the last few messages he's sent.
Around noon Jeonghan finally convinces him to at least take a short lunch with him. Joshua's finished up all the early pick up orders and Mina has no problem running the flower counter, and taking orders.
Sitting in the back office Joshua leans back in his chair rubbing his eyes. He hates everything about today.
Jeonghan doesn't like seeing his best friend so distraught. For the last few months he's contemplated begging you to come back to your clearly broken estranged husband. This is your first anniversary apart and he knows Joshua is barely hanging on by a thread.
Leaning forwards, Joshua finally takes a bite of his salad that Jeonghan had ordered him. He can feel his best friend's eyes burning into him, with each bite he takes.
"Why are you here today?" Jeonghan thought Joshua would spend the day at home moping around.
"Because if I spend the day trapped in the home I used to share with her, I might actually lose my mind."
"Shua, maybe it's time you ask for her to comeback or give you a divorce?"
Joshua let's out a heavy sigh leaning back again. "I don't want a divorce. I just want my wife back."
"I know you do. It's just— Shua I hate seeing you torn up like this."
"I know. I hate feeling this way. I just don't know what to do."
"You should go out with me and Seungcheol to the bar tonight."
"Is that a good idea?" Joshua sighs.
"Yeah. I'm not asking you to get drunk, but just come out tonight. I don't want you sitting at home moping around."
Joshua's phone vibrates on the table. He picks it up and sees a message from you.
Goldie 12:13pm - Happy Anniversary.
He truly thought he wouldn't hear from you at all today. He doesn't expect you to call or anything, but he's glad you at least sent him a text.
"Whose texting you?"
Joshua sits the phone down on the table. "Goldie."
"You still call your wife her nickname?" For as long as Jeonghan has know Joshua, he's rarely ever heard him call you by your actual name.
"She's bright like a marigold."
"Your favorite flowers are white roses, I'm still shocked you don't call her Rosie."
Joshua grabs his phone and opens his text.
Shua 12:21pm: I miss you.
"Shua, just go to the bar tonight with me and Cheol."
He just stares at his text you. He can't bring himself to sit in the homes shared, during this anniversary you'll be apart.
"I'll go out tonight."
IS THIS AN ILLUSION?
The sight of you standing right outside the entrance of the flower shop doesn't feel real. Joshua rubs his eyes unsure if this is actually real. It's taking everything in him not to rush the few feet towards you. The closer he gets he realizes you're eyes are glossy and that have been crying.
"Goldie?"
You look up at him and give him a sad smile. "Hi, Shua."
He stood in front of you. He just takes a moment to fully look at you. He was starting to think he might not ever see you again.
"Why are you here?" He stops in front of you.
"I realize I'm miserable without you. I thought I needed to try and be independent, but I understand that's foolish."
Joshua glances around the quiet street. The is watercolors of pink and orange as it starts to rise. He doesn't want to have this conversation out on the street.
"Let's go inside and talk over some coffee." He fishes his key out of his pocket. Opening the door, he holds it open for you.
You look around the flower shop and smile at the site of the bundles of marigolds and white roses together.
"The marigolds are always there because of you." Back in the high school Joshua gave you a bouquet of marigolds and told you they remind him of you. He's called you Goldie since you were teens because of the vibrant flower.
"Are the white rose for you?" You pick a single stem white rose up.
"They're still my favorite flower." He says. “You know they represent new beginnings?”
“Yeah. You gave them to me after our first fight in high school.” You hope that the white rose can represent your future now.
He walks over to the small coffee shop. He turns on the espresso machine and gets to work making coffee for both of you.
This flower shop and cafe is something the two of you built together. This place was just as much yours as it was his before you left.
He tries to focus on making coffee, but he can only focus on you. He's watching you make your way around the flower shop, looking at all the flowers.
He brings over a small tray holding both your iced lattes. Walking over you sit down across to him at small table near the window.
You take a sip of the honey flavored latte. He made it exactly how you have always loved it. "I know I have messed up, am I hurt you."
"You were my first love, and you became my first heartbreak." He responds.
"I know. I broke both of our hearts." You'll never point any of the blame on your husband. Joshua has always been perfect to you. "I left because I never knew what it was like to be independent. I went from living under the guidance of my father, to being married. I've always had a man in my life helping me figure out how to live. I needed to try and be independent."
His brows knit together. "Did you think I was controlling?"
"No, not at all. I just needed space to try an discover who I am. I realized the whole time I was away that my life doesn't make sense without you."
Reaching for the glass you take another drink of your coffee. "I'm coming home. If you would like to continue our relationship, I would love that. I understand if you don't want to. I hurt you, and know that. I can stay with Seokmin and rent a room from him."
"You're crazy if you think I'm going to let you live with Seokmin. Since the moment you walked out of our home on that raining day, I have hoped and prayed that I would come home to me."
"Don't you hate me for hurting you?"
He reaches out taking your hand in his. "Goldie, I don't think I will fully ever understand why you left like you did. I always thought you knew you could talk to me and trust me. But I could never hate you. I just hated that you made me feel like I was just an afterthought." It's true, he's been heart broken since you left, but he's never hated you.
"Okay." Tears slowly start sliding down your cheeks. "I'm sorry I made you feel that way."
Reaching across the table he rest his hand on your cheek. He drags his hand across the delicate skin of your cheek, swiping away your tears. "Come home tonight. Let's have dinner and you can stay the night or you can go stay with Seokmin. The guest room is still set up."
"I would like that."
He wants to ask you a million questions. He wants to know what you've been up to, and where you have been living. He's pretty sure when you left you went and stayed with Seungkwan and his wife.
You both finish your lattes. Joshua is lucky you decided to show up after closing. He knows Jeonghan is going to show up soon to drag him to the bar.
"Did you want pasta tonight for dinner?" It's your anniversary and he would like to make your favorite meal.
"That would be nice."
He glances up when he sees Jeonghan unlocking the door and walking in. He didn't know if Jeonghan was coming in or going to call him. As a partial owner of the coffee shop in here, Jeonghan tends to come and go as he pleases here.
"Oh." Jeonghan says at the sight of you sitting with Joshua.
You turn and fully look at your husbands best friend. Joshua isn't aware that Jeonghan has been checking on you once a month since you left.
"Hi, Hannie."
Jeonghan shoves his hands into his jeans pockets. He looks at Joshua raising his brows. He's not fully sure what he just walked into to.
"Jeonghan, um Goldie is back." Joshua stands up.
"Welcome back, Goldie." Jeonghan tilts his head at you.
Jeonghan walks over and hands Joshua a bag. Joshua dismisses him and takes it to the back office. You're left alone with Jeonghan for a moment.
"When I asked you to come back last night. I didn't expect to see you at seven tonight." Jeonghan sits down where Joshua was sitting.
"I knew it was time to come home, your message was the push I needed." You pause staring at the man who had become your best friend as well. "I know you probably hate me, and we probably aren't friends anymore."
He knits his brows together. "I don't hate you, and we can still be friends. I'm just asking that you don't break his heart again."
Joshua walks back out holding the keys to the store. He gives you a gentle smile, before looking towards Jeonghan.
"I'll let Cheol know you can't come out tonight." Jeonghan stands up and grabs your empty coffee cups.
Joshua walks closer to you. Jeonghan walks away disposing of the cups.
"Are you ready to go home?" Joshua asks.
You stand up, glancing over you see Joshua holding out his hand. You don't even hesitate, you reach out lacing your fingers with his.
Walk out of the shop, Jeonghan leads the way. Joshua releases your hand just long enough to lock the door.
Jeonghan says goodbye and heads down the street towards the bar.
ALL THE MEMORIES WE’VE SHARED
Once you're both alone Joshua leads you towards his car. He unlocks it's and opens the passenger door for you.
"I didn't ask how you got here." Joshua pauses.
"Seokmin dropped me off."
You both get into the car. Joshua glances over and gives you a smile before he turns the car on. The drive the flower shop, to your home takes all of five minutes. Joshua parks the car in the driveway and you both get out.
Heading inside your shared home, it still looks like just the day you left. Over by the couch, your engagement and wedding photos are still hung. After you left your thought he would remove those photos.
You follow him as he heads off to the kitchen. He grabs a bottle of wine and pops it open. You stand by the sink watching as he moves around the kitchen. He pours to glasses of red wine. He grabs one, holding it out for you.
Taking the glass you hold it out. He grabs his own and raises it. "Happy anniversary."
You cheers your glasses before taking a sip of rich yet subtle flavor of blackberries in the wine.
"Happy anniversary," you respond.
"Take a seat and I'll make us your favorite pesto."
Walking over you sit down at the kitchen table. You sip on the rich wine, watching him move with ease around the kitchen. Cooking for you has always been apart of Joshua's love language with you.
It takes about thirty minutes before he sets down a delicious looking plate of pesto pasta.
He sits down across from you. There is about two minutes of silence before you both start making small talk.
"Do you remember when we're were home from college celebrating our anniversary and your mom almost walked in on us?" Joshua asks. You remember this night fully. You were both twenty and had been dating for four years at that point. You planned on getting a hotel for your anniversary, but weren't able to. Joshua thought it would be romantic if he snuck into your parents house in the middle of night. It turns out your were being too loud having sex and your mom was concerned you were hurt and came knocking on your luckily locked door.
"Yes. We were being so loud, my mom thought something hurt me and made me cry." If only she knew, your charming boyfriend was fucking you so good you couldn't shut up.
Through out dinner you keep talking about past memories. After another glass of wine you both work on cleaning up the kitchen. Joshua puts the last dish away as you finish your last drink of wine.
Joshua is standing there looking absolutely handsome. This dinner made you feel like everything was back to normal. It's making you realize you didn't destroy everything you built together, like you thought you did.
You've missed your husband desperately, and you never want to leave his side again.
Joshua walks closer to you. He stops right in front of you. He reaches out pushing your hair out of you face. He doesn't anything, he just stares at you for a moment.
Without thinking, you lean in crashing your lips into his. His hand grips your hip, pulling you flush against his body. Wrapping your arms around his neck, you deepen the kiss. The whole time you were gone, you craved this feeling. You told yourself over and over again, that you left to find yourself, but you couldn't push away the aching feeling in your chest. Every single day, you're apart you've missed your husband. Now that you're back you don't ever want to leave his side again.
Pulling back slightly, he rests his nose against yours. "Are you sure you want this?" He whispers.
"I just want to be with my husband again." His brows knit together for a moment. "Joshua, if you'll have me back, I wanna be yours."
Not another word was uttered before he crashes his lips into yours for a searing kiss. He walks you backwards until your back hits the wall with a thud.
He pulls away smiling. His smile sends a fluttering storm of butterflies into your stomach. "Baby, you've alway been mine. Even when you made me feel like an afterthought. You were always mine." He says before kissing you again.
Reaching for his belt, without thinking you start unbuckling it. He stares at you with a look of awe. You fumble, as your work on unbuckling his pants. You push his jeans down below his butt, and pull out his already hardening length. Your eyes lock on his, as your slowly pump his length.
You give him a smile, before dropping to your knees in front of him. You start off by holding, his length while you slowly took his rosy colored tip. He threads his fingers through your hair, holding it away from your face. Hallowing your cheeks you take his length into your mouth. Bobbing your head you slide your tongue against the vein that runs along the underside of his cock.
Joshua's eyes are closed, and his lips are parted. It's taking everything in him not to guide your movements. He's just letting your set your own pace. God he's missed the feeling of your mouth.
"Goldie." He lets out a breathy moan.
Looking up through your lashes, your eyes lock with his. He looks beautiful as he's on the edge of falling apart.
One hand rest on his thigh, while the other reach down to play with his balls.
"Baby, I'm close." You love how desperate he sounds.
Hallowing your cheeks you take him into your throat. He shakes his head and pulls away from you.
Sitting back on your heels you look up at him, confused.
"Baby, our first time together in months I refuse to finish the first time in your mouth." He reaches down, helping you stand up.
He leans down pressing his lips to yours for a quick kiss. "Let's move to our bedroom."
Laying on top of the same comforter you spent hours shopping dragging Joshua around on a sunny June afternoon. Pushing yourself up on your elbows you watch as Joshua starts stripping away this clothes. He's still absolutely beautiful.
It's been so long since you've been intimate. Joshua is the only man you've ever been with, and you never want another man touch you like he does.
He sits his knee on the bed and starts crawling towards you. He sits on his heels between your spread legs. Leaning down he places a kiss on your knee.
"I'm going to eat you out." He lays down on his stomach, with your needy pussy right in front of his face. He starts by kissing the top of your mound. He spreads your lips and with his fat tongue he licks your puffy clit.
"Oh—" you instantly moan.
"You taste just as sweet as I remember."
He dives into your core like a man starved. He practically makes out with your clit, switching between licking and sucking as he pumps two fingers in and out of you.
Your fingers tangle in his hair, holding him close to your core. Without thinking your lift your hips pushing your pussy closer to his face.
"Shua—" You moan.
He curves his fingers up, touching that spot inside you, that leaves you seeing stars. He sucks harder on your clit. Your orgasm hits you like a lightening strike. Everything tenses and then your whole body instantly relaxs. Your walls flutter around his fingers. You're body lies limp against the soft bed.
He pulls back smiling. His lips have a shine to them from your release. His tongue slides across his top lip, collecting some of your release.
Your eyes are squeezed shut letting the high wash over you. Joshua takes this time to slowly pull back. He moves back to his position, sitting on his knees between your spread legs. He pumps his painfully hard length, looking down at you.
Your eyes open and you find him staring down at you. He presses another gentle kiss to your knee.
"Do I need to get a condom?" He hasn't worn in a condom with you since you were in college together, but it's been so long since you were intimate he doesn't know if you want him to wear one. His large hand rests on your thigh, and rubs it slowly.
A smile tugs at your lips. "I'm still on birth control, and haven't even looked at another man other than you."
"Goldie—" he pauses and looks at you with his brows knit. "Baby, I've never been with anyone other then you. The whole time you were gone I never planned on moving on. I'm faithful to you."
"I didn't wasn't accusing you of anything. I just wanted you to know I was faithful to you too." You give him a smile. "Joshua I want to feel you fully raw again."
He moves closer to you. He takes his hard length in his hand, running it through your wet folds. A soft gasp passes your lips as the rosy mushroom tip bumps against your sensitive clit. He moves so he's hovering over you, while he rest on his knees. He pushes you inch by inch as painfully slow pace. It's been so long since you've had sex with anything other than your vibrator. It's going to take a moment for you to adjust to the size of your husband. The moment he's fully inside he stills, giving you a moment to adjust. Closing your eyes you tilt your head back. He reaches up resting his hand on your cheek.
"You okay?" Your eyes flutter open, and find him staring down at you.
"Yeah, I just need a minute. It's a been a while."
"Baby it's been seven long months since I have been inside you." He gives you that smile that always makes you feel weak in the knees.
"Shua, can you move?" Your reach up, tangling your fingers in his hair.
Without saying another word, he starts moving at a slow and deep pace. His body is practically plastered against you. One of yours hands is tangled in his hand and the others rest on his lower back. You can't get enough of him. Seven long months left you yearning for him.
His large length is filling you completey. He's so long you feel as if he's kissing your cervix with each deep thrust. The room is filled with echoing sounds of your whimpers and moans, and his deep moans. Resting his face in the crook of your neck, he leaves a wet trail of kisses, most definitely leaving marks in his wake.
"Baby you feel so good," he groans against your skin.
Spreading your legs wider for him, he's able to hit spots even deeper. Closing your eyes you focus on your rapidly approaching high. You let out a high pitched moan that sounds like his name. You're on the verge of falling apart.
"You're clenching." He groans. He knows your body inside and out. He's aware that you're on the brink of falling apart.
"You feel so good. You're so big." You're practically squirming, trying to push your hips up towards him.
"Baby you can come." He pulls his lips away from your skin.
You silently nod your head. Your whole body feels tense. The coiling in your stomach has your wound so tight, you're on the brink of exploding.
Joshua pulls away from your fully. You whine at the loss of him plastered against you. He sits on his knees between your spread legs. This position gives him. The ability to play with your clit. He picks up his pace, still going deep, but smacking his hips into yours hard. His hand rest on your mound, his thumb works on rubbing your sensitive clit. Your lips part, as a silent gasp passes.
Pushing yourself up on your elbows your watch what he's doing. It's absolutely toxicity watching as he plays with you.
"Fuck—" you whine.
"Come for me baby."
Silently you nod.
He pushes his hips into yours at quicker pace. Your orgasm feels like a tidal wave. The coil snaps in your stomach like it never had before. Your walls squeeze his massive length pushing him over the edge right behind you. He fills you to the brim with his milky white release. He's cum harder then he ever has.
He keeps thrusting into you with shallow thrust, helping you both ride out your high. Pulling out he watches as his thick cum slowly starts to leak out. Without thinking he drags two fingers through your folds helping to push his release back inside you.
"God I love you." He says.
"I love you too."
He kisses the top of your knee one last time before running off to the bathroom to get a warm cloth to clean you up.
Laying in bed with your husband feels surreal. There were many nights after you left you thought you lost him forever.
Laying in your side you stare him. He's laying on his side staring back. His hand rest on the bed between you. You're both still fully naked.
"Baby, I want my wife back."
"Why are you so willing to forgive me?" You can't push away the guilty feeling that's eating away at you.
"Because I love you, and I'm willing to understand why you left me." His words make you feel like your chest is being squeezed. "We can go slow. We can act like we're dating again, we have a guest room. One of us can sleep in there."
"Slow would be nice. Maybe we don't always sleep in separate rooms."
He smiles. "I'll do whatever you want. I just want you back."
"I'm back." You can't help but cry.
He reaches out pushing away your tears. "Don't cry, baby."
"I'm just worried. People probably hate me for hurting you."
He shakes his head. "No one can hate you. Sure some people don't understand, but no one hates you. Baby what other people think doesn't matter. All that matters is, I want you back, and I love you."
"I love you too."
Joshua moves closer. He crashes his lips into yours before pulling you into his arms. You know you messed up, but Joshua loves you, and wants to work on building your life together again. You hope one day maybe that guilty feeling will go away. But right now all that matters is that you love your husband, and he loves you.
❀ 𝐭𝐫𝐢𝐠𝐠𝐞𝐫 𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬: lots of angst, talks of heart break, mentions of getting divorced, don’t worry this has a hopeful ending.
❀ 𝐬𝐦𝐮𝐭 𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬: unprotected p in v, creampie, cum play, oral (both rec), multiple positions, fingering, they’re both kinda desperate, lots of making out, it’s pretty vanilla Nicknames: baby, Goldie (hers)
❀ 𝐫𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐠: 18+ nsfw
❀ 𝐚𝐧: this is for @svthub first blooms collab. Thank you @aeristudios and @supi-wupi for helping and beta reading for me again 💕 Divider by @/saradika-graphics.
When it comes to firsts, you and Joshua were each others first for practically everything. He was your first kiss, you shared your first time together, you awkwardly lost your virginities to each other. You were each others first loves and your first heartbreaks.
Seven months, and six days have passed since you walked out the door and never came back. In that time you haven't moved on, you haven't tried to date anyone one. In your heart and soul you're still married.
ITS NEVER OVER
Joshua doesn't think he's ever loved, or will love anyone like he loves you. Watching you walk out of your shared home after an argument, was the most heartbreaking moment of his life.
The first three months you were gone, Joshua texted or called you everyday trying to get you to come home. Slowly the communication started to fade, and now Joshua hasn't spoken to you in three months and twenty-two days.
Since you left Joshua had refused to acknowledge you're sperated. He still wears his wedding ring, and anytime a woman tries to flirt with him he always reminds them he's married.
He's not sure if he can save his marriage or if you'll ever comeback home. He holds out hope that one day you'll come back home.
-
It's another day Joshua is working at the flower shop you both own from open to close. He has Jeonghan helping out running out the small coffee shop that's attached to it.
Today isn't an easy day for Joshua by any means. Today should be your eighth anniversary.
He's spent today burying himself in work. Jeonghan is very aware of what today is. He offered to work open to close with his best friend so he can keep an eye on him.
Joshua is putting the finishing touches on a floral arrangement for a regular who always buys flower for his wife. He puts the arrangement in the cooler before fishing his phone out of his pocket.
Opening his text he goes to your pinned contact. He frows seeing his last message from you was three months ago.
Shua [10:32am] Happy Anniversary.
He stares at his phone knowing there probably won't be response. You’ve barely responded to the last few messages he's sent.
Around noon Jeonghan finally convinces him to at least take a short lunch with him. Joshua's finished up all the early pick up orders and Mina has no problem running the flower counter, and taking orders.
Sitting in the back office Joshua leans back in his chair rubbing his eyes. He hates everything about today.
Jeonghan doesn't like seeing his best friend so distraught. For the last few months he's contemplated begging you to come back to your clearly broken estranged husband. This is your first anniversary apart and he knows Joshua is barely hanging on by a thread.
Leaning forwards, Joshua finally takes a bite of his salad that Jeonghan had ordered him. He can feel his best friend's eyes burning into him, with each bite he takes.
"Why are you here today?" Jeonghan thought Joshua would spend the day at home moping around.
"Because if I spend the day trapped in the home I used to share with her, I might actually lose my mind."
"Shua, maybe it's time you ask for her to comeback or give you a divorce?"
Joshua let's out a heavy sigh leaning back again. "I don't want a divorce. I just want my wife back."
"I know you do. It's just— Shua I hate seeing you torn up like this."
"I know. I hate feeling this way. I just don't know what to do."
"You should go out with me and Seungcheol to the bar tonight."
"Is that a good idea?" Joshua sighs.
"Yeah. I'm not asking you to get drunk, but just come out tonight. I don't want you sitting at home moping around."
Joshua's phone vibrates on the table. He picks it up and sees a message from you.
Goldie 12:13pm - Happy Anniversary.
He truly thought he wouldn't hear from you at all today. He doesn't expect you to call or anything, but he's glad you at least sent him a text.
"Whose texting you?"
Joshua sits the phone down on the table. "Goldie."
"You still call your wife her nickname?" For as long as Jeonghan has know Joshua, he's rarely ever heard him call you by your actual name.
"She's bright like a marigold."
"Your favorite flowers are white roses, I'm still shocked you don't call her Rosie."
Joshua grabs his phone and opens his text.
Shua 12:21pm: I miss you.
"Shua, just go to the bar tonight with me and Cheol."
He just stares at his text you. He can't bring himself to sit in the homes shared, during this anniversary you'll be apart.
"I'll go out tonight."
IS THIS AN ILLUSION?
The sight of you standing right outside the entrance of the flower shop doesn't feel real. Joshua rubs his eyes unsure if this is actually real. It's taking everything in him not to rush the few feet towards you. The closer he gets he realizes you're eyes are glossy and that have been crying.
"Goldie?"
You look up at him and give him a sad smile. "Hi, Shua."
He stood in front of you. He just takes a moment to fully look at you. He was starting to think he might not ever see you again.
"Why are you here?" He stops in front of you.
"I realize I'm miserable without you. I thought I needed to try and be independent, but I understand that's foolish."
Joshua glances around the quiet street. The is watercolors of pink and orange as it starts to rise. He doesn't want to have this conversation out on the street.
"Let's go inside and talk over some coffee." He fishes his key out of his pocket. Opening the door, he holds it open for you.
You look around the flower shop and smile at the site of the bundles of marigolds and white roses together.
"The marigolds are always there because of you." Back in the high school Joshua gave you a bouquet of marigolds and told you they remind him of you. He's called you Goldie since you were teens because of the vibrant flower.
"Are the white rose for you?" You pick a single stem white rose up.
"They're still my favorite flower." He says. “You know they represent new beginnings?”
“Yeah. You gave them to me after our first fight in high school.” You hope that the white rose can represent your future now.
He walks over to the small coffee shop. He turns on the espresso machine and gets to work making coffee for both of you.
This flower shop and cafe is something the two of you built together. This place was just as much yours as it was his before you left.
He tries to focus on making coffee, but he can only focus on you. He's watching you make your way around the flower shop, looking at all the flowers.
He brings over a small tray holding both your iced lattes. Walking over you sit down across to him at small table near the window.
You take a sip of the honey flavored latte. He made it exactly how you have always loved it. "I know I have messed up, am I hurt you."
"You were my first love, and you became my first heartbreak." He responds.
"I know. I broke both of our hearts." You'll never point any of the blame on your husband. Joshua has always been perfect to you. "I left because I never knew what it was like to be independent. I went from living under the guidance of my father, to being married. I've always had a man in my life helping me figure out how to live. I needed to try and be independent."
His brows knit together. "Did you think I was controlling?"
"No, not at all. I just needed space to try an discover who I am. I realized the whole time I was away that my life doesn't make sense without you."
Reaching for the glass you take another drink of your coffee. "I'm coming home. If you would like to continue our relationship, I would love that. I understand if you don't want to. I hurt you, and know that. I can stay with Seokmin and rent a room from him."
"You're crazy if you think I'm going to let you live with Seokmin. Since the moment you walked out of our home on that raining day, I have hoped and prayed that I would come home to me."
"Don't you hate me for hurting you?"
He reaches out taking your hand in his. "Goldie, I don't think I will fully ever understand why you left like you did. I always thought you knew you could talk to me and trust me. But I could never hate you. I just hated that you made me feel like I was just an afterthought." It's true, he's been heart broken since you left, but he's never hated you.
"Okay." Tears slowly start sliding down your cheeks. "I'm sorry I made you feel that way."
Reaching across the table he rest his hand on your cheek. He drags his hand across the delicate skin of your cheek, swiping away your tears. "Come home tonight. Let's have dinner and you can stay the night or you can go stay with Seokmin. The guest room is still set up."
"I would like that."
He wants to ask you a million questions. He wants to know what you've been up to, and where you have been living. He's pretty sure when you left you went and stayed with Seungkwan and his wife.
You both finish your lattes. Joshua is lucky you decided to show up after closing. He knows Jeonghan is going to show up soon to drag him to the bar.
"Did you want pasta tonight for dinner?" It's your anniversary and he would like to make your favorite meal.
"That would be nice."
He glances up when he sees Jeonghan unlocking the door and walking in. He didn't know if Jeonghan was coming in or going to call him. As a partial owner of the coffee shop in here, Jeonghan tends to come and go as he pleases here.
"Oh." Jeonghan says at the sight of you sitting with Joshua.
You turn and fully look at your husbands best friend. Joshua isn't aware that Jeonghan has been checking on you once a month since you left.
"Hi, Hannie."
Jeonghan shoves his hands into his jeans pockets. He looks at Joshua raising his brows. He's not fully sure what he just walked into to.
"Jeonghan, um Goldie is back." Joshua stands up.
"Welcome back, Goldie." Jeonghan tilts his head at you.
Jeonghan walks over and hands Joshua a bag. Joshua dismisses him and takes it to the back office. You're left alone with Jeonghan for a moment.
"When I asked you to come back last night. I didn't expect to see you at seven tonight." Jeonghan sits down where Joshua was sitting.
"I knew it was time to come home, your message was the push I needed." You pause staring at the man who had become your best friend as well. "I know you probably hate me, and we probably aren't friends anymore."
He knits his brows together. "I don't hate you, and we can still be friends. I'm just asking that you don't break his heart again."
Joshua walks back out holding the keys to the store. He gives you a gentle smile, before looking towards Jeonghan.
"I'll let Cheol know you can't come out tonight." Jeonghan stands up and grabs your empty coffee cups.
Joshua walks closer to you. Jeonghan walks away disposing of the cups.
"Are you ready to go home?" Joshua asks.
You stand up, glancing over you see Joshua holding out his hand. You don't even hesitate, you reach out lacing your fingers with his.
Walk out of the shop, Jeonghan leads the way. Joshua releases your hand just long enough to lock the door.
Jeonghan says goodbye and heads down the street towards the bar.
ALL THE MEMORIES WE’VE SHARED
Once you're both alone Joshua leads you towards his car. He unlocks it's and opens the passenger door for you.
"I didn't ask how you got here." Joshua pauses.
"Seokmin dropped me off."
You both get into the car. Joshua glances over and gives you a smile before he turns the car on. The drive the flower shop, to your home takes all of five minutes. Joshua parks the car in the driveway and you both get out.
Heading inside your shared home, it still looks like just the day you left. Over by the couch, your engagement and wedding photos are still hung. After you left your thought he would remove those photos.
You follow him as he heads off to the kitchen. He grabs a bottle of wine and pops it open. You stand by the sink watching as he moves around the kitchen. He pours to glasses of red wine. He grabs one, holding it out for you.
Taking the glass you hold it out. He grabs his own and raises it. "Happy anniversary."
You cheers your glasses before taking a sip of rich yet subtle flavor of blackberries in the wine.
"Happy anniversary," you respond.
"Take a seat and I'll make us your favorite pesto."
Walking over you sit down at the kitchen table. You sip on the rich wine, watching him move with ease around the kitchen. Cooking for you has always been apart of Joshua's love language with you.
It takes about thirty minutes before he sets down a delicious looking plate of pesto pasta.
He sits down across from you. There is about two minutes of silence before you both start making small talk.
"Do you remember when we're were home from college celebrating our anniversary and your mom almost walked in on us?" Joshua asks. You remember this night fully. You were both twenty and had been dating for four years at that point. You planned on getting a hotel for your anniversary, but weren't able to. Joshua thought it would be romantic if he snuck into your parents house in the middle of night. It turns out your were being too loud having sex and your mom was concerned you were hurt and came knocking on your luckily locked door.
"Yes. We were being so loud, my mom thought something hurt me and made me cry." If only she knew, your charming boyfriend was fucking you so good you couldn't shut up.
Through out dinner you keep talking about past memories. After another glass of wine you both work on cleaning up the kitchen. Joshua puts the last dish away as you finish your last drink of wine.
Joshua is standing there looking absolutely handsome. This dinner made you feel like everything was back to normal. It's making you realize you didn't destroy everything you built together, like you thought you did.
You've missed your husband desperately, and you never want to leave his side again.
Joshua walks closer to you. He stops right in front of you. He reaches out pushing your hair out of you face. He doesn't anything, he just stares at you for a moment.
Without thinking, you lean in crashing your lips into his. His hand grips your hip, pulling you flush against his body. Wrapping your arms around his neck, you deepen the kiss. The whole time you were gone, you craved this feeling. You told yourself over and over again, that you left to find yourself, but you couldn't push away the aching feeling in your chest. Every single day, you're apart you've missed your husband. Now that you're back you don't ever want to leave his side again.
Pulling back slightly, he rests his nose against yours. "Are you sure you want this?" He whispers.
"I just want to be with my husband again." His brows knit together for a moment. "Joshua, if you'll have me back, I wanna be yours."
Not another word was uttered before he crashes his lips into yours for a searing kiss. He walks you backwards until your back hits the wall with a thud.
He pulls away smiling. His smile sends a fluttering storm of butterflies into your stomach. "Baby, you've alway been mine. Even when you made me feel like an afterthought. You were always mine." He says before kissing you again.
Reaching for his belt, without thinking you start unbuckling it. He stares at you with a look of awe. You fumble, as your work on unbuckling his pants. You push his jeans down below his butt, and pull out his already hardening length. Your eyes lock on his, as your slowly pump his length.
You give him a smile, before dropping to your knees in front of him. You start off by holding, his length while you slowly took his rosy colored tip. He threads his fingers through your hair, holding it away from your face. Hallowing your cheeks you take his length into your mouth. Bobbing your head you slide your tongue against the vein that runs along the underside of his cock.
Joshua's eyes are closed, and his lips are parted. It's taking everything in him not to guide your movements. He's just letting your set your own pace. God he's missed the feeling of your mouth.
"Goldie." He lets out a breathy moan.
Looking up through your lashes, your eyes lock with his. He looks beautiful as he's on the edge of falling apart.
One hand rest on his thigh, while the other reach down to play with his balls.
"Baby, I'm close." You love how desperate he sounds.
Hallowing your cheeks you take him into your throat. He shakes his head and pulls away from you.
Sitting back on your heels you look up at him, confused.
"Baby, our first time together in months I refuse to finish the first time in your mouth." He reaches down, helping you stand up.
He leans down pressing his lips to yours for a quick kiss. "Let's move to our bedroom."
Laying on top of the same comforter you spent hours shopping dragging Joshua around on a sunny June afternoon. Pushing yourself up on your elbows you watch as Joshua starts stripping away this clothes. He's still absolutely beautiful.
It's been so long since you've been intimate. Joshua is the only man you've ever been with, and you never want another man touch you like he does.
He sits his knee on the bed and starts crawling towards you. He sits on his heels between your spread legs. Leaning down he places a kiss on your knee.
"I'm going to eat you out." He lays down on his stomach, with your needy pussy right in front of his face. He starts by kissing the top of your mound. He spreads your lips and with his fat tongue he licks your puffy clit.
"Oh—" you instantly moan.
"You taste just as sweet as I remember."
He dives into your core like a man starved. He practically makes out with your clit, switching between licking and sucking as he pumps two fingers in and out of you.
Your fingers tangle in his hair, holding him close to your core. Without thinking your lift your hips pushing your pussy closer to his face.
"Shua—" You moan.
He curves his fingers up, touching that spot inside you, that leaves you seeing stars. He sucks harder on your clit. Your orgasm hits you like a lightening strike. Everything tenses and then your whole body instantly relaxs. Your walls flutter around his fingers. You're body lies limp against the soft bed.
He pulls back smiling. His lips have a shine to them from your release. His tongue slides across his top lip, collecting some of your release.
Your eyes are squeezed shut letting the high wash over you. Joshua takes this time to slowly pull back. He moves back to his position, sitting on his knees between your spread legs. He pumps his painfully hard length, looking down at you.
Your eyes open and you find him staring down at you. He presses another gentle kiss to your knee.
"Do I need to get a condom?" He hasn't worn in a condom with you since you were in college together, but it's been so long since you were intimate he doesn't know if you want him to wear one. His large hand rests on your thigh, and rubs it slowly.
A smile tugs at your lips. "I'm still on birth control, and haven't even looked at another man other than you."
"Goldie—" he pauses and looks at you with his brows knit. "Baby, I've never been with anyone other then you. The whole time you were gone I never planned on moving on. I'm faithful to you."
"I didn't wasn't accusing you of anything. I just wanted you to know I was faithful to you too." You give him a smile. "Joshua I want to feel you fully raw again."
He moves closer to you. He takes his hard length in his hand, running it through your wet folds. A soft gasp passes your lips as the rosy mushroom tip bumps against your sensitive clit. He moves so he's hovering over you, while he rest on his knees. He pushes you inch by inch as painfully slow pace. It's been so long since you've had sex with anything other than your vibrator. It's going to take a moment for you to adjust to the size of your husband. The moment he's fully inside he stills, giving you a moment to adjust. Closing your eyes you tilt your head back. He reaches up resting his hand on your cheek.
"You okay?" Your eyes flutter open, and find him staring down at you.
"Yeah, I just need a minute. It's a been a while."
"Baby it's been seven long months since I have been inside you." He gives you that smile that always makes you feel weak in the knees.
"Shua, can you move?" Your reach up, tangling your fingers in his hair.
Without saying another word, he starts moving at a slow and deep pace. His body is practically plastered against you. One of yours hands is tangled in his hand and the others rest on his lower back. You can't get enough of him. Seven long months left you yearning for him.
His large length is filling you completey. He's so long you feel as if he's kissing your cervix with each deep thrust. The room is filled with echoing sounds of your whimpers and moans, and his deep moans. Resting his face in the crook of your neck, he leaves a wet trail of kisses, most definitely leaving marks in his wake.
"Baby you feel so good," he groans against your skin.
Spreading your legs wider for him, he's able to hit spots even deeper. Closing your eyes you focus on your rapidly approaching high. You let out a high pitched moan that sounds like his name. You're on the verge of falling apart.
"You're clenching." He groans. He knows your body inside and out. He's aware that you're on the brink of falling apart.
"You feel so good. You're so big." You're practically squirming, trying to push your hips up towards him.
"Baby you can come." He pulls his lips away from your skin.
You silently nod your head. Your whole body feels tense. The coiling in your stomach has your wound so tight, you're on the brink of exploding.
Joshua pulls away from your fully. You whine at the loss of him plastered against you. He sits on his knees between your spread legs. This position gives him. The ability to play with your clit. He picks up his pace, still going deep, but smacking his hips into yours hard. His hand rest on your mound, his thumb works on rubbing your sensitive clit. Your lips part, as a silent gasp passes.
Pushing yourself up on your elbows your watch what he's doing. It's absolutely toxicity watching as he plays with you.
"Fuck—" you whine.
"Come for me baby."
Silently you nod.
He pushes his hips into yours at quicker pace. Your orgasm feels like a tidal wave. The coil snaps in your stomach like it never had before. Your walls squeeze his massive length pushing him over the edge right behind you. He fills you to the brim with his milky white release. He's cum harder then he ever has.
He keeps thrusting into you with shallow thrust, helping you both ride out your high. Pulling out he watches as his thick cum slowly starts to leak out. Without thinking he drags two fingers through your folds helping to push his release back inside you.
"God I love you." He says.
"I love you too."
He kisses the top of your knee one last time before running off to the bathroom to get a warm cloth to clean you up.
Laying in bed with your husband feels surreal. There were many nights after you left you thought you lost him forever.
Laying in your side you stare him. He's laying on his side staring back. His hand rest on the bed between you. You're both still fully naked.
"Baby, I want my wife back."
"Why are you so willing to forgive me?" You can't push away the guilty feeling that's eating away at you.
"Because I love you, and I'm willing to understand why you left me." His words make you feel like your chest is being squeezed. "We can go slow. We can act like we're dating again, we have a guest room. One of us can sleep in there."
"Slow would be nice. Maybe we don't always sleep in separate rooms."
He smiles. "I'll do whatever you want. I just want you back."
"I'm back." You can't help but cry.
He reaches out pushing away your tears. "Don't cry, baby."
"I'm just worried. People probably hate me for hurting you."
He shakes his head. "No one can hate you. Sure some people don't understand, but no one hates you. Baby what other people think doesn't matter. All that matters is, I want you back, and I love you."
"I love you too."
Joshua moves closer. He crashes his lips into yours before pulling you into his arms. You know you messed up, but Joshua loves you, and wants to work on building your life together again. You hope one day maybe that guilty feeling will go away. But right now all that matters is that you love your husband, and he loves you.
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After the immense stress I have experienced since last week, I crashed out so hard today. I feel like I need the rest week to attempt to mentally recover. I have cried too much today because of stress. 
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PSA: If your blog looks like this, I’m going to assume you’re a bot and block! Even if you like my posts, it’s not enough. If I see that you have only one post reblogged, that’s also a red flag for me.
If you’re new to tumblr then at the very minimum you need to edit your profile to make it clear you’re a real person, even if you only intend to use your account to lurk (also perfectly fine).