troutmingle

Listening to drake at the gym, people think this is sweat rolling down my face but it’s actually tears

I’m literally zendaya reacting like he didn’t have to go that hard and yet..

The mice in this house are going to form an alliance and rise up against us and i am powerless but to watch it happen. I may strike a deal with them when the time comes, become prince of the mice, king of the rodents, and i will rest upon a royal throne made of the fallen food that this family refuses to clean up off of the ground

my brother is teaching his cat how to high five by giving her a treat every time she successfully taps her hand to his hand, which is all well and good, but now she thinks that she is entitled to food every time she high fives someone.  i can’t eat in the same room as her anymore because she’ll just bap my hand rapid fire and then go nyoom straight in for my pizza like no Kelly that’s illegal go finish ur own dinner

“No Kelly, that’s illegal.”

Cats

Pavlov is rolling over laughing in his grave.

THE CAT IS OKAY. THE CHILD PICTURED IS EATING A DIFFERENT KIND OF SUSHI.

Cleanse yourself of your sins.