additionally, because i don't think "if the boundaries are stupid" is necessarily a good benchmark for this bc it doesnt address a core issue here: a boundary is not a way of dictating or controlling other's behaviour. a boundary is not a moderation rule. a boundary is for how you will deal with unacceptable behaviour from the other person. a boundary is a personal limit you set for yourself.
"don't draw my character in xyz ways" is not a boundary. "don't 'main tag' explicit works" is not a boundary. "you're not allowed to write explicit fics of my cubito" is not a boundary. "don't ship me or my cubito" is not a boundary. "don't send ccs my work" is not a boundary. they're requests, at best.
"i mute/block when i come across explicit art in the 'main tag' on tumblr" is a boundary. "i will not engage with fanart that depicts me/my character in xyz ways" is a boundary. "i will block you if i see you tagging cc's in my ship art or talking about my fic in their twitch chats" is a boundary. "i will stop using this platform temporarily/permanently if people continue to do xyz because it makes me feel like shit" is a boundary (false has used this one here iirc?). "i will block you if you repeatedly come into my tumblr asks just to demand about another cc" is a boundary. "if there are any commonly used tags for ship art or nsfw art i will be blocking/filtering those tags and encourage the use of them" is a boundary. a very fucking essential one imo. (i know these are block-heavy examples lol. boundaries when you actually know someone personally are going to be more nuanced - and crucially, will not be ultimatum-y and final like an "and now i block" is. but we're talking about setting boundaries in a parasocial context here - mute/block tools are an effect way of keeping yourself safe there, and because they're boundaries, not rules, you are not owed an explanation if you, a whole ass stranger, do get blocked because of them. imo.)
a boundary has to be directed at yourself and your actions. if you cannot enforce it with your own action, then it is not a boundary - it's an expression of feeling, a request, and those are something we + ccs are absolutely allowed to have and hope people will respect and honour. there are definitely plenty of instances that will make me think you're at least a bit of an asshole if you do disregard such a request/feeling.
but open, unmoderated (meaning fandom-specific moderation) fandom spaces on social media + fic archives are not and cannot be bound to those requests, and other fans trying to go after people who "don't respect ccs boundaries" do not count as them being enforceable. if cc's want transformative fan spaces that they can lay down rules on, they need to cultivate those spaces themselves. but those rules would still only ever apply in those specific sites.
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